in this video I'm going to share with
you what I've learned about the cycle of
violence from my own experience so far
in my 38 years on this planet because
the cycle of violence is something we're
seeing so much more in the communities
and in our culture's today and I believe
that it's time to open our new
conversations it's time to evolve and
love and help those people dealing with
the cycle of violence in their life to
become a renewed version of themselves
to be able to share a greater level of
love and connection because ultimately
that's what we're all seeking is love
and connection and contribution and
growth with one another and the cycle of
violence very much comes from a
breakdown of that layer of family
connection and family dynamic in our
greater community people feeling
ostracized and alienated for who they
are their strengths and weaknesses begin
to feel remorse and animosity about
their identity and the role they play in
the world and therefore can start to a
late over time of multiple layers of
unresolved issues to develop an anger
and rage issues that they don't
understand where it comes from but if
this happens over a multi-generational
period of time it's very hard to break
the cycle of violence within a person
within a family or within a community or
culture of people because it's just
layers of unresolved emotion that have
never been faced or or dissolved and
transformed into a more constructive
emotion because anger is one of one of
the end results of emotional turmoil or
in frazzle meant as a word where we're
completely frazzled by a situation our
story or where we're at in life and we
don't know how to get our needs met in
any other way or shape or form that to
lash out and to go off our proper
trolley Richter scale and blow the
Richter scale off the map and go
absolutely ape shit
and I know this because I've been there
I've been there with my own family my
own frustrations we're trying to
communicate with my mother and father
and certain friendships and and whatnot
in between I've never been an overtly
violent person yet I've had to exist in
the paradigms of you know violent nature
because within the cycle of violence
there are varying many levels of
parameters of psychological abuse which
are not understood sometimes the person
who's partaking within the acts of
violence has become the prey of a
psychologically abusive person which has
the beautiful nature of an outer look
sweet and innocent in the eyes of others
and yet totally pushes the angry
person's buttons to the point of
volatility and eruption in order to get
their needs met of playing the victim
and so I could be a perpetuating cycle
of victim perpetrator and mediator where
everybody's ultimately getting there my
needs met of love and connections
through the acts of physical violence
and yet the only way to evolve that is
to take responsibility of ourselves and
their emotional state and need to move
away from the destructive relationships
now life or into the emotional terminal
and the unresolved to open up new
conversations in order to evolve that
cycle of violence you know over the last
few years of doing a lot of personal
development I've had so many
conversations as mum talking about
moments in life and understanding
conversations from different each other
from each other's point of view and many
times mums admitted to me that she feels
like I'm trying to drag her by the hair
in a certain type of direction and it's
been frustrating for me because wanting
my mother to open up about her emotions
as she's feeling and starting to
understand me as I intend to be
understood couldn't be confronting for a
woman who's never had that explained or
demonstrated to her in a life especially
when she's been through rape and
molestation and the domestic violence of
her marriage and also partaken in
multiple layers of psychological abuse
and become very cunning and good at it
too I might add
you know it's not been easy and yet now
I see thanks me for pulling her through
that because now she's having the
conversations with her mother moosh mom
turned to me the other day and said you
know ash I was sitting with mom in the
home the other day and she wouldn't
listen to me and she started to glaze
over and and there was no I was getting
what I was trying to say in or out and
she has i just realized what it was that
i look like for so many years when I
just glazed over and I'm not listening
to you and he sound lying and I'm not
listening and she hasn't just got it
feels so glad we're changing this this
family pattern now because we can start
to evolve to be closed up you know and
she's pulled up as sisters a couple of
times and they've worked through their
issues of not listening to one another
or being ignorant to one another and
it's brought them a lot closer
emotionally and it's having that ripple
effect in the ponder their greater
family dynamics because i'm watching mom
and her sisters step more into their own
feminine flow and starts to be in to
embrace their their feminine nature of
being a lady you know and with dad like
I've had to I didn't have my father in
my life in 15 years because I would've
burned his house down with him in it and
smiled laughed and danced to some rave
music while i was doing so and only
because for so many years every time I
try and talk to him he wouldn't
understand me as I intend to be
understood and it was very volatile and
his ability to just raise his voice and
communicate and create your jamila
demeanor and make me feel less than
worthy through his word choice and his
toe now the embodied language that he
would partake in which ultimately was
his way of staying safe within his
relationship with mum and ultimately the
very reason why he was almost about to
commit suicide and had to leave in the
manner that he did because that cycle of
violence had led them to the sheer
frustration of not being able to find
their way through the thicket of torment
through the thicket of unresolved
emotions through
the thicket of of deteriorated
communication over time and unlawful
connection into their own individual
darkness you know and it's only through
that darkness that we can start to shed
a certain type of light that will bring
us and involve us from the cycle of
violence because the cycle of violence
in people's lives doesn't just come from
one person's decision to be an angry
violent person or another person's
choice to be with a person like that it
comes from at stories in our history
from the past and the way we were raised
in the dynamic that was passed on from
generation to generation through our
families and so if we're going to
understand the cycle of violence we need
to understand very much our family
history and very much our culture
history over at our individual identity
and learn to start to express yourself
from that unique code of identity and
want to resolve issues want to solve the
problems we now in our conversations in
our lives in our relationships with our
partners our family and our friends and
start to create a new level of emotional
intelligence in our worlds because this
local of violence is it slowing down
mental health is on the consistent
growth and you know there's I think one
female a day dying from domestic
violence in Australia we have eight
point three people dying from suicide
daily in Australia and so the
ramifications of the cycle of violence
are quite substantially larger than just
people partaking in acts of physical
violence you know the residue is leaving
behind in people's lives is massive but
I only got to turn on the TV to see the
fear mongering of what's going on in the
outer populations in the lower
socioeconomic groups but also though I
also the higher socioeconomic groups in
a time where intellectual property is is
on the exponential rise we have access
to so much information there and so much
availability and possibility for life
and lifestyles beyond what we have a
deemed imaginable that it's easy to
avoid conflict it's easy to avoid
situations that sharp in our world and
it's easy to run away from them yet
there's so much more reward in moving
beyond the issues and the stuff that
shows up in our world and we start to
resolve the ill demands in our life and
within our family dynamics it gives us a
greater permission to play on the stage
of life and never greater capacity and
to teach that way of being to others
which is my purpose of these videos is
to teach and educate people how to solve
and move beyond what it is that I've
moved beyond and created in my world you
know I shed the words I love you with my
father yes saying and he actually
reciprocated them to me and it was a
glorifying moment in my life it was
fucking beautiful actually so actually
be able to tell my father that I loved
him and have him repeat the words that
he loved me to was very humbling and
there are to have a very close kin
kinesthetic relationship with my mother
where I am very close to my mother is is
beautiful because there was a massive
portion of my life but it wasn't like
that there was a massive portion of my
life where neither my mother a father
got me and I there was no way I wanted
to use the words I love you because it
just didn't feel right but now in order
to cross those boundaries with mum and
dad and have it feel right to say i love
you mum and i love you dad is beautiful
you know i see a whole new possibility
for my little brother who has been a
large portion of his life in jail with
animosity and angst and anger issues i
see a massive possibility for spending
Christmas with him or even going for a
drive up to the Cape of Queensland with
my brother and my father in order to go
on a bit of a man's trip and that's a
big dream of one
it's a reality now from understanding
the cycle of violence in my world of my
family because that pigheadedness that
arrogance that egocentric attitude was
just a level of emotional armory in my
father my brother myself my grandfather
all the ladies and women in our world
and we also had just built up this kind
of pigheaded egocentric attitude which
was not allowing anybody to get their
needs met it just become this kind of
smash and grab mentality in order to go
and create what you want in your life
but it come at a cost of somebody else's
dissatisfaction and so when we when we
can start to move beyond that well we
can start to take responsibility for the
cycle violence in our life and whatever
level that is on whatever manner that's
showing up in our life no matter how
physical or miniscule we can start to
build stronger levels of love and
connection into our family dynamic but
it's only through really starting to
take the time to open up new
conversations the tart does take a long
time it's taken me 18 years for my
mother to open up about her truth in her
world you know and as it turns out you
know mum had her mother and her her
mother-in-law both telling her it wasn't
a good idea for her to get married at
the age she did because she was crazily
young and so in defiance of them she
went ahead with it anyway and then in
hindsight has played the victim and
called out that she's had a hard life
and yet in the moment of truth it came
out of the reality that
she made the choice in order to move
into a relationship that wasn't
conducive to where she was as a human
being and that she made decisions
consistently to stay there because she
loved my father and she wanted to see it
through and yet it took a long time for
her to be able to come to that
realization that she made those choices
and it took a lot for me to sit there
with her and help her to that point of
understanding for herself it's also
brought me and her very close to one
another and it's allowed me to see the
role I play as a man in women's lives a
lot differently because to hold that
space for mum to be able to step back
has allowed her to start to break the
cycle of violence in her family with her
other son was in herself and was in her
belief of what's possible for her in a
welder because to a large extent she's
being very violent to herself you know
it's allowed me also to get very close
to my father and to understand him and
struggle he had because for a large
portion of his life is being made to
feel not good enough on many regards and
it was just a man trying to fight to
find his place and have some
self-respect whilst being
psychologically degraded in many levels
because of this battle whatever it was
well it's only for understanding him
that I get to see I big a picture of who
he is and how he was dealing with things
as they showed up without people
stopping at work and through things with
him and through that understanding of
that cycle of violence within my family
now I've started to create a greater
level of love and connection with myself
that's possible for you to so what's
going on in your family dynamic that
will bring you to a greater level of
understanding of your anger issues
you've got any questions about this
subject put it in the box below and I'll
be happy to answer them and interact
with you guys because together we will
make our global family dynamic that is
second to none and more conducive to
culture development and raising a
greater level of love and connection in
the world today all right I love you all
peace
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