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I'm on the road to home
But, for the first time
I'm sort of nervous about what the destination holds
After 39 years of service, my father has finally retired from the Indian Army
It's weird, but I think his retirement has affected me more
My father goes from being Gen. Iqbal Singh Singha
To just 'Dad'
And I don't know how to feel about it
He's missed most of my childhood milestones
Because of his duties towards the country
But now, there are no army duties to hide behind
I wonder what will happen
If he confirms my fear of being the black sheep of the family
I pray that we still have an undiscovered bond
As I prep myself to see him at his last posting
At a new house, for the first time
Finally home, hello Aunty
Daddy, say hello
Hello
Mom, say hi
Hi
This is the first time I'm seeing so much family in the same place
That too, for us
Having spent a lifetime moving cities
And living in army quarters
With generic furniture and wall paint
This is definitely a first for the Singhas
Along with gratitude, I feel a faint sense of disquiet surrounded by my own
Because I'm simply not used to it
I wonder how Dad is taking this change of guard in life
Fortunately for me, I had mentally prepared myself for retirement
I don't consider it as retirement
I think of it as re-attired
So, from uniform, I have come to civilian clothes
Dad's always been larger than life
Decorated, celebrated, and looked up to by many
He's been a role model to so many people
So it feels selfish to hold onto small grudges
Like, am I even allowed to feel that he couldn't be a doting Dad
While serving the country
In the army
Primarily, it's the ladies who bring up the children
Because we are absentee fathers
We are posted to the border for 3 years, and then we come back
When we are in the field
We get to meet once in 3-4 months
The elder one would cry when his father was leaving at the station
But Harman would not speak a word for days
Since the Army was my passion
I thought I must do justice to my job
Family comes next
And later on you realise that a balance is very important
Reflecting about all this in our new house
I decided that I needed to have a heart-to-heart with Dad
Father!
Hi!
Harman, this is the best thing we can do, man
It's been a long day
So, good to be home, eh?
Yeah
Congratulations, the house is looking beautiful
Thank you
I know you've worked hard
You know, now that we're having a beer
There are a couple of things that I think about
Every other father, or everyone apart from Army children
All their parents would be there for their birthdays
The smallest things...
Going to their games and annual days
Do you remember in Mount Abu
I think I was 10 years old
Yeah
It was annual day
Yeah
You came as the Chief Guest
And you were giving out awards to everyone
I wish I got one medal in some race or something
So I could go up to you and prove to the guys that this my Dad
I think I missed you on those things
To tell me something like that, you don't need the help of a drink
I have missed a lot
But that was the character of my work, so we did
But I'm sorry
I'm looking forward to the next two days
What do you want to do?
I want to do whatever you want to do
So should we go to Amritsar, the Golden Temple, Wagah border?
We could go on a bike
So it was decided
A bike trip to Wagah Border to make some new memories
And a stopover at the Golden Temple in Amritsar
To revisit some old ones
The next two days sure looked promising
So, a new day in my new house
A good time to break from the routine and do something afresh
What Harman said yesterday really hit me
We have missed a lot while he was growing up
But I didn't know that it affected him so much
To see my son hesitating to talk to me
Opened my eyes
I think my mission days are not over yet
Because I have one very important mission left
That is to make Harman realise how much I love him
And how proud I am of the man he has become
Well, old habits die hard
Old habits die hard
All right, Balli (Mom)
We will see you in two days
You like it?
I'd like the front seat
You'll get the front seat, be a little patient
The bike is really cool
First thing, you don't eat any sweets or candies
And take care of this child, please
Take care, okay?
No stunts, no talking to strangers
No talking to strangers, yes
Keep your hands inside
We're not going by bus!
Alright
There is a reason why I chose the Wagah border as the destination for our bike trip
The change of guard at the border has been close to Dad's heart
The ceremony might seem to look dramatic to some
But to Dad,
It's been a gentleman's hat-tip to an adversary
It seems fitting for us to do this together
Symbolic of a change of guard in his life
I'm glad that I'll be by his side to witness it
I think we are going to catch up on old times
And fill the gaps we've had in between
Daddy!
How was the ride?
The ride was fabulous!
I didn't know you were such a good rider
You were comfortable?
I was comfortable
Frankly, I've never sat behind you
So I was skeptical initially
But yeah, you rode really well
So I'm a better rider than Rannvijay, then?
Yes
I have your stamp of approval!
Actually, it was a very nostalgic moment for me
36 years back, around 1980, when I bought my first bike
I made the same journey
From where?
I did it from Jalandhar to Chandigarh
At the time, I would have been around 26
Almost my age
Yeah, and now you are the same age
So while you were riding
I'm sitting behind you and remembering as if it's me riding again
All over again
And you don't look a year older!
Oh, thank you!
You scratch my back, I scratch yours!
It's good to see you slim, Harman
I should find some photos of you growing up
Which ones? I've burnt all my fat pictures
There are no fat pictures of me anymore, you will not find anywhere
There was this movie, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham
The younger son is kind of flabby
What was he called? Golu?
Laddoo.
Laddoo!
So we named you Laddoo that time
Nobody can make out now that you were an ex-Laddoo
Laddoo had grown up to become Hrithik Roshan, okay?
Okay!
Come, let's go
Shall we?
Back to our journey?
Yeah
Open road and reminiscing childhood memories
This is turning out to be one of the best road trips of my life
Perfect time to visit the Golden Temple
And revisit some golden memories with Dad en route to our final destination
But for that, I'll have to wait till tomorrow
Nothing beats watching the sunrise over the Golden Temple
And just the two of us together
Made it even more special
Every time you come to the Golden Temple
You feel great
Whether you are Sikh or not
Everyone who comes here, gets a connection with the Almighty
But coming with Harman was very special
Firstly, we have never done a road trip together
And coming here with him again was very nostalgic
Last time we came, he was a young boy
And the whole family was here
Now this is reminding us of that
And there he is again!
It feels like a knot has loosened within
I feel closer to my culture, my past, my family and my Dad
Even the silences between us began feeling much more comfortable
As we pulled into Wagah
So, we are at Wagah Border
Well done
Actually, Attari-Wagah border
I was glad to be there with Dad
Who showed me around like a proud guide
Though not in uniform, he changed into a more appropriate, formal look
Why does it say 'Integrated Checkpost'?
This is where, when goods arrive
Both sides check them here, and then they are tranferred from the Pakistani side
Those trucks go back, and the goods are transferred into our trucks here
And the other thing is
You were asking why I've changed
Because it's a very solemn affair
And old habits die hard
So since it's a formal occassion,
I wanted to be dressed properly
He literally changed in the back of a dhaba in 2 minutes
Because a General cannot go to the Wagah border in a tshirt and cap
Looking dapper!
Thank you
I'm very excited, let's go, let's go!
Two countries
Two unique voices
And so much history between them
Brothers, friends or enemies?
Only time will tell
For me, I'll never forget this feeling
And I will never forget whom I was standing next to
The last two days have been out of the world
Spending time with Harman after a long time
Going on the bike to Amritsar
Just the two of us, journeying together
Eating at dhabas
And while sitting behind him while he's riding
I was remembering the journey when he was a small child
How he's grown into a responsible man
It gave me a sense of pride
When the journey started
We started as Father & son
But I think by the end of the journey
We are two grown people
And we are more like friends
The last two days have been excellent
We have had great fun
And it comes to an end on such a good note
I have a confession to make
Yes?
That...
I don't know... maybe it's because I just saw India and Pakistan going at each other
But I used to feel for a long time
That you were away, and we didn't get to spend a lot of time together
But I'm glad we did this
But I felt for the longest time that we had a disconnect
And that I was the black sheep of the family
Maybe because I changed professions too fast
But I'm just glad we got to spend some time together
No, I don't think you're the black sheep
So you don't think your younger son is the black sheep of the family?
No, no, not at all.
I think he's the rock
He's the strength of the family
And thanks for coming here with me
We just thought about it
I must embrace you and thank you
Thank you for a wonderful two days we've spent
I love you
I love you too
I love you more
My father has finally come home
When I was growing up, he was barely around
But the irony is
Now he has all the time in the world
But I don't
The more things change
The more they stay the same

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