[ True Tea intro music ] (Captions by: Cecilia)
True Tea: your questions, my brutal honesty!
Hey guys, it's Kat and it's time for your weekly dose of True Tea.
Today, I'm still drinking some delicious tea from Plum Deluxe, so I'm still drinking the coconut Moroccan dessert tea,
and it is very delicious! Everyone, go check them out!
Thank you to the subscriber who sent me these teas.
Um, they've been really really delicious, and I really appreciate you for that! [ laughing ]
Anyway, if you guys are not already subscribed to this channel, please subscribe so you can get True Tea every single week,
right here, on this channel.
Um, and if you guys want me to answer your question, then please send me your questions to katblaque,
all one word, on Snapchat.
Send me video questions! I will not be entertaining text questions. That kinda defeats the purpose.
I mean just to give you guys a quick summary of why I'm doing video questions is because it--
I don't have to copy and paste an e-mail, I don't have to reformat the e-mail. You know, i-- it cuts out a lot of my editing time.
It's your voice, your picture, your question. I can't misconstrue it. It's all you. So that's why I'm doing it.
So yeah! Um, send me a video question. I know some people have, you know, anxiety, and things like that.
You don't have to be on vi-- on video. It just makes my life easier if there's literally somebody saying the question in-- in a video.
Just makes my life a million (...) easier. Um, so, yeah. Anyway, let's jump into today's question:
Hi Kat, I was wondering if there's any way to compromise identifying as queer
when a lot of other LGBT people are uncomfortable with the term.
There's a club at my university called "Queers on Campus", and on their sign that they said that
if you have a problem with the word "queer", don't worry, you'll get used to it.
And even though I literally identify with the word "queer", something about that just rubbed me the wrong way.
So I was wondering what you think.
Alright, so I've talked about my personal feelings about the word "queer" before.
I think I made a video called "Are Straight People Queer?" which a lot of people didn't like, but [ whining ] it's a video.
Thing about True Tea is I answer these questions off the cuff, and sometimes I misspeak, sometimes I say the wrong thing.
But I say it anyway because that's the point of this series, is to have unmeasured responses to questions. Um...
So just to go over it really quickly again, "queer" is a term that I used to use and used to identify with, but no longer do,
and that's mostly because of how I felt about the term "queer".
For me, "queer" meant me queering all of the spaces that I entered, it meant me queering gender,
it meant me queering conversations.
Queering everything! Everything was queer and "queering" usually meant challenging it.
Challenging it, um, in terms of the status quo, challenging it in terms of gender and gender role,
and being a visual, um, and physical, um, representation of queering, right?
That's what it meant to me. It meant that to me, it was a very political thing, it was a very constant thing,
it wasn't something that I'd put on to make myself feel a certain way.
It was... it was more than what I think a lot of people use it to say.
And I'm not saying that that's what people do, to put it on, to make-- but I'm saying that for me, it was more than a label.
It was my lifestyle. And I think that's something some people still feel that way,
but it might read of a lot of people who use the term "queer", they use it as a catch-all,
they use it as a term that, for me, doesn't represent, you know, the political way in which I felt the term was,
that I stopped identifying as queer.
And then, of course, you know, people started using it in this way.
And, you know, I think that if it's a term that you feel like applies to you, good for you!
I'm not gonna tell you not to identify as queer. I'm just saying that for me personally,
it's a term that I no longer felt that I had any real connection to.
Um, so I'm saying all of that to say...
that... [ chuckling ] um... that your-- your-- your club kinda rubbed me the wrong way.
It rubbed me in the wrong way in a couple of times-- couple of different ways.
Um... what I always found kind of interesting, you know [ chuckling ]
I remeber when I was a little baby, you know, LGBTQIA+ WXYZ person, and I... [ chuckling ]
really believed and felt that if I were to go out in the world, and meet more people that were like me,
if I were to be in these spaces, and I would enter into, you know, these-- these zones with more people who were like me,
that I would suddenly feel this sense of ease and comfort that I never thought before,
that I would sudenly feel this acceptance, and this embrace, and-- and everything would be great,
and all this... isuue-- the-- the issues that I had in my life would be solved, because now I'm finally with people who are like me.
And I learned really quickly that that's not how shit goes. That's not how shit works. That's not how the world is.
And, honestly, most spaces that are LGBTQ-- QIP-- [ scoffing ] LGBTQIA+, um, are honestly, in my personal opinion, pretty toxic.
Now again, I am a...
pretty cis-normative, read as cis, straight, trans woman.
So I think that in a-- on a base level, there's ways in which I don't even feel like these are my spaces to be in.
But in the times where I have been in these spaces, they've been often pretty, um...
ha-- you know, pretty unpleasant for me, personally.
And I think that's-- having something like that, where, you know, there are people who have, um,
a-- a genuine issue with the word "queer", because it's what they heard before they were beat up.
You know what I mean? It's a term that they-- they heard growing up, um, that hurt them, presonally.
That-- that they have actual trauma attached to. And so for you to kinda like ignore that,
because, well, I wanna identify as queer, and that's how we're gonna just do things... I get it.
I respect it to some degree, but at the same time, you're being really disrespectful to people who probably really needed that safe space.
You know, who probably really need to be, you know, especially on college campus. 'Cause listen: I do college speaking.
As somebody who went to art school in Southern California,
it's been really interesting to me to actually go on to these college campuses, you know, in places like Toledo,
in places like Gainesville, and actually see that there were these thriving safe spaces for,
you know, people in the LGBTQIA+ community, um, who actually, you know, needed them, right?
This wasn't just a situation where, you know, oh my gosh, there's people on campus who wanted this.
It was because they-- they really needed these spaces to feel safe, to feel comfortable, to feel at home,
to be able to get work done, to be able to actually thrive on campus, right?
These are spaces that exist because there's a need for them. That's why they-- they thrive on these-- on these campuses,
because they can't just operate on campus.
I mean they probably could, but not easily. They couldn't just operate easily on campus without going through a lot of shit.
So to hear that there is a space that's created, um, on a college campus that probably needs this space,
and their big hang up, their big hang up is, well, if you don't like the term "queer" then that's just-- that's just how it is.
You're just gonna get used to it-- that's just a-- a shitty bratty attitude. And honestly I get that, and you're in college.
People can be like that. So I kinda understand to some degree.
But at the end of the day, I think it's really shitty that that's how people are acting about this
because you're shutting up people who probably really do need this space.
Um... But, you know, I understand people who viciously de-- defend their-- their-- their use of the term,
their identif-- their-- their need for the term.
I get that, but I just wish that people had a little bit more of empathy.
I wish people understood that, um, there are more people in this world than just you!
It's great that you identify in that way, but maybe you share, you know,
similar intersections with a person who does not like that term, because it personally hurts them.
And maybe, ask someone who's interested in fostering safer places and safer spaces on campus for these people,
you would be considerate of that.
You know, but what do I know? [ laughing ]
Anyway, I would love to know what you guys' True Tea is on this issue, because I don't think I necessarily have the best answer.
For someone who identifies as queer, how would you feel about, you know, me being--
pushing that aside to be more inclusive to people who maybe did not identify as queer,
and felt like that was a trigger for them or felt like that was something that,
you know, was really disrespectful to their personal experiences and their trauma?
How do you feel about that? I would love to hear what you guys (...).
If you're someone who does not like the term "queer", why is that and how do you feel about what this--
what was on this poster?
I would love to hear what you guys have to say, so leave your True Tea in the comment box below.
And, um, yeah! If you guys want this mug, you can get this mug and so much more at my society6 store.
Um, you can also get this phone case! I have a ton of phone cases, and I'm trying to work on some new designs.
I wanna get a lot of new cute mermaid, pastel, things that my, um, my-- my sh-- my sotre. So check that out!
I'm really bad at advertising that I even have a store, so check it out!
Um, anyway, on that note, I will talk to you guys next week-- Oh wait!
If you guys want me to answer your questions, send me your questions to kats-- No! Ouh ah ah! No, don't send me an e-mail.
You can still send me an e-mail, but right now, I'm doing video questions only.
So send me a Snapchat question, a video question, to katblaque, all one word, on Snapchat!
Alright, now I will see you guys next Sunday, and as per usual, I want you to always remember and never forget
that you are beautiful and you are loved. Bye!
If you like this video, you can support my work by becoming a monthly Patron patron.
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