one way to define what we mean by presence which is a state of
consciousness it is to say like you're not waiting for the next thing and it's
all normal to always wait for the next thing that's why many people are very
rarely really present in the now it's all a bit Yuling normal to wait for the
next thing it's a they don't know they're doing it they're always waiting
on the next thing and as soon as they going to the now they go to sleep but to
stay awake in the now without needing to fill it up with anything or waiting for
the next thing because waiting for the next thing is filling up the nor with
stuff which is thoughts the next thing is a thought
the next thing never comes as you know it's only always this whatever is here
now and next thing doesn't come over not ask the next thing
and then to get to feel your way into
the presence of now to to feel what is it to become aware of the now itself
which is a very strange thing how do you do that
what do you mean become aware of the now itself usually people think when they
present they are aware of what's going on
that is true you're aware of whatever you perceive in the present moment or
whatever is happening internally in the present moment so that's already stepped
forward if you can just be with that and I can normally change and be there but
there's more to the now than what fills up the space of now there's something
deeper there and lets the space itself the space the the eternal timeless now
and then things appear in it and disappear you can call it the space you
can call it the light of now whatever word works best so to be present is not
only to be aware of what's going on within and without that also yes but
even more importantly is to be aware of the now itself as the the essence
without which nothing else could even be
and right now as I talk about it perhaps you are able to realize within yourself
what it is that I'm talking about so those are the words actually working you
not to be accumulated and remember what I say it but let them work now so that
they can function as pointers in you so the words are not pointing towards
something deeper than what appears in the now and that's the now itself it has
no form but is the it's that sense of timeless presence that's always there
and the strange thing is it's inseparable from who you are in your
essence it's the I before it becomes something the beingness the being and
you feel that in the background a presence sometimes I call it can you
feel your own presence of course it's not your own because nothing is your own
we just put it like that just as a temporary pointer
can you feel the presence of you right now not as a memory of your past or your
personal history you don't need any memory to feel the presence of you and
you cannot define it in any way in some ways it feels as if you didn't know who
you are anymore and yet there is undoubtedly a presence
it defies all description and that is enormously liberating to realize that
within yourself sometimes I describe it as stillness whatever point I wax it's
it's a stillness it's an enlarged stillness that frees you from the person
what that means is you realize there's something more real to who you are than
all the things that you think you are which are accumulations from the past
that's the person they make up the person the conditioning of the mind the
sum total of all the experiences some of which are remembered somewhere in the
unconscious and they might be remembered at certain times many other things you
think about all the time what you're telling yourself who you are
cetera ideas about who you are and the sense of I that's based on the story of
me or jumping deeper so you realize that it's there but it's it's it's not but
it's a very fleeting phenomenon this the personal is very insubstantial but
there's something much more foundational to who you are but you can't define it
there's nothing to do with your history or your name or your age or your
physical appearance or your status in the world and to be able to sense that
is essentially liberating it liberates you from the delusion that all you are
is the person with a physical body and the psychological form and what's
especially liberating is you no longer look to your physical body and the
psychological entity or your sense of identity of who you are so the person is
still there but you don't need it anymore to give you your real sense of
self because you have something much deeper that is your sense of self which
the Buddha called no sale from the Indian teachings called this the Atman
the self just using different pointers the Buddha called it the no self because
it has no form sometimes he calls it emptiness you can't make it into a mind
object and it's so liberating because the person is always insufficient so if
your sense of self is confined to the past and you can't be satisfied for very
long very briefly you get moments but you basically exist in a state of
dissatisfaction in some people very pronounced and others it's just in the
back understandest something is still missing
in my life something is still not right and then you try other relationships and
you try others others places to live and you try other activities and sooner or
later and usually so now you come again to the place this isn't right either and
then you ask what am I really meant to do where am i really meant to be because
it's not here it's never here ultimately because you're not at home deep enough
in the now so you can never feel this is never it so it but there's no external
solution to that there's only an inner solution to that you come home to them
now and you have to drop down beyond the mental emotional accumulations that you
confuse with who you are and you sense as I sometimes say the ripple on the
surface of the Pacific Ocean stops thinking of itself as a ripple and
senses its own depth and suddenly the ripple fields at one with the depth of
the ocean but also feels like one with every other ripple that it sees on the
surface of the ocean because it senses it its connectedness with the totality
with the 1 and therefore recognizes every other ripple as all also being an
expression of that and then for the first time it can become comfortable
with other ripples really at ease the ripples of causing our analogy are
people
and what I'm really talking about I was just looking coming here and this
question somebody asked that is connected with what we are talking about
and that's the question about trust very something very foundational this
person asks a long time ago I was hurt really bad it was traumatic ever since
then it wasn't really possible for me to trust anybody again
I still have fears and panic when they are situations of being close together
and I take medication can you give me advice so that I'm able to trust again
so that sense of connectedness with being that's what it is to drop down
into being that's where real trust arises the trust cannot arise you can't
look at another person and say give me your trust can I trust you people are
unpredictable and people are display varying levels or degrees of
consciousness evening on a single day or in one afternoon
you can catch a person rather in the same afternoon
relatively present and and then the same person
gets challenged by something on little phone call somebody's them and
immediately the passing goes into complete mind identification and
reactivity and then the same person who you try to trust said something to you
it comes out of his or her particular state of consciousness at that moment
and then the person who hasn't found the true source of all trust who thinks yes
you can actually trust a person without sensing the connectedness with being
with it which is the source of all trust then that person says will then focus on
the other person's moment of unconsciousness and whatever comes out
of his or her mouth as words or actions so you see I knew he couldn't be trusted
and the unfortunate thing then happens that thoughts lingers in the mind he or
she can't be trusted in whatever form it might be expressed in slightly different
words and that thought lingers in the mind and stays in the background and
then whenever you meet that person again that thought is there and whispers in
your inner ear he or she can't be trusted to be careful and because you
believe in that underlying thought you can't find it hard even to acknowledge
the times when this other person is conscious and present and you say yeah
but not really they look conscious now
they're not really in other words you then look at the other person through
your screen of mental accumulations thoughts and you no longer see what's
there but you see what your mind is projecting there and you have drawn
conclusions it is true that that which gave rise to that particular thought yes
of course that person was unconscious and perhaps in the moment of
unconsciousness that person said something to you that was untrue that
was a lie perhaps or that was a distortion of something or that was
insensitive towards you or whatever it was yes of course that happened a person
can only manifest according whatever they say or do manifest is reflects
their particular state of consciousness in that moment but to make a permanent
thing out of that and transform that in your mind into a self that you
manufacture mentally for that other person that's the delusion and then your
mind has fixed the other person as a fixed image of their person and it is
quite possible that for the rest of your life you're trapped in that and I'm
saying you are trapped because when you trap another person in a fixed image you
yourself are trapped in that somebody said the same thing 2,000 years ago in
slightly different words something chanting so we need to know how the mind
works how the egoic mind works if we don't then little deceive us and it all
we don't know what's happening then we identified with the mechanical patterns
of the mind so every human being that you know every human being you meet they
are not permanent fixtures they're not they're not they are expressions the
varying degrees of consciousness depending what situation arises they are
not predictable or if you know them if you know their patterns yes their
patterns are predictable but you cannot say this person is always to be trusted
you never know moment may come may be after 15 years of knowing the person
something happens and suddenly oh maybe I can't trust him or her so Trust
doesn't come from a person it comes from that feeling of connectedness the sense
of connectedness within you then you can allow other humans to do what they do to
manifest whatever they manifest out of their particular state of consciousness
at that moment and not equate it with who they are and manufacture an identity
for them a self that and then that's because that's a thought or a group of
associated thoughts in your mind it's a dreadful limitation but it
happens all the time so when you know that you can continue to meet other
human beings in the state of openness even people you've known for a while
don't expect them to be conscious continuously I want to express in
different language to don't expect them to always do and say the right thing to
be consistent in their behavior most are not and in many cases one single human
being is different entities and it's only when you sometimes when you know a
person superficially you know one particular level or manifestation of
that person you keep the public persona or whatever it is and it's only when you
spend more time with them you live with them you work with them but other other
people will come out of the same human being and almost everybody whoever
married somebody at some point woke up and said this is not a person I'm
married
something went wrong here and then if you believe what your mind says it'll
already come up with weird judgments like he/she deceived me into believing
he was playing a role and just to get me and whatever your mind is telling you
some absurd story interpretation of this other person and then you get stuck in
that and that's the beginning of the decline of the rim so of course you
can't trust human beings there isn't even a single human being there unless
that person is totally present latent a single day isn't a single human being
every human being it was many different human beings of course you can't trust
them but if you are in the state of connectedness with being so you drop
down to deeper level within yourself and there you have there is a sense of power
and something that goes far beyond anything in the world of form a piece it
a powerful sense of peace and aliveness and when you are connected from that you
and you can allow other human beings to display their varying degrees of
consciousness to be their different selves in different situations with
compassion without needing them needing them to be consistent in their behavior
they won't so if you need them to be consistent and there's a discrepancy
between reality and your expectations which is an unpleasant place to be
imagine the entire life walk going through life with an almost continuous
discrepancy between your expectations how things and people in situations in
places should be and how they are very frustrating and you can notice that
people who are very deeply trapped in those patterns very frequently used a
little word should both apply to others and even to themselves should have
should should not should not have dance
he shouldn't have said that he should have thanked me
you
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