HELLO THERE
Sedge here: about to speak for a bit, so you know what to do.
Good?
Let's continue.
Welcome to the last video of 2017.
The last few years of my life have been amazing.
I've finished University, I've won a freaking editing award...
SOMEHOW
...and of course made literally hundreds of videos for you guys.
But one of the main highlights of this year have been...
...the Highlights.
Bravo.
Brilliant segue.
Top...top...top quality.
You did it.
YOU DID IT.
Highlights have been the core of this channel.
From the very first video,
(not including the unlisted one...)
(...where my friend looked like Jesus so I put him in the intro of Bohemian Rhapsody)
...to this roller coaster of a year,
Highlights have been my favourite recurring series.
Not only to make, but to watch.
I love going back and re-living the shenanigans over and over again,
...and then realising that the audio...
...or rather, the music...
It's way too loud!
You can't hear anything!
*pained screech*
But the end of many Highlights episodes have been my favourite.
Thing.
EVER.
No Context Theatre: a spectacle of horrific racism and...
...quotes that really don't make much sense IN context either.
In fact it's been so common that I actually made a compilation of every single No Context Theatre last year.
..which you should probably watch first if you haven't already.
*AH SHIT I'M POINTING TO THE WRONG SIDE*
To no one's surprise: I've made another one!
So here's every single No Context Theatre from 2017
(...and one from 2016 but it was December 31st so shut uuuup)
Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you hop on board for the future 'cause it's only gonna get crazier from here!
Enjoy :)
Dan: I'm like one of those Weeping Angels, but it's that time of the month.
Sedge: Aww, I like White Power Christmas.
Dan: Gone away is the black man.
Sedge: The Foreskin Awakens.
Dan: Oh, because Moses wants my sweet arsehole.
Sedge: There's a Pokemon that looks like a beetle that looks like a also looks like a skull bleeding fire from its mouth.
Dan: Have you got an enlargement?
Dan: He just went... *various suggestive mouth noises*
Sedge: It sounds like...when you've jizzed on a girl's arsehole and it gets like clogged up.
Dan: I had a dude on my 21st Birthday slip his hand up my trousers.
Sedge: Press 'A' to fist!
Dan: ZE OVARIES: SQUEEZEN!
Sedge: Breaking news: we have found Cotton Eye Joe.
Sedge: We don't know where he came from, or where he did go.
Dan: I can fuck myself.
Sedge: ...a bunch of pies galloping around.
Dan: We are the Master Race! OOOOOOOOOOO
Sedge: Get the black out of the car, fuck lady.
Dan: I love that noot noot.
Sedge: I just gently squeezed my ballsack!
Sedge: DUDE'S DICKS.
Sedge: UH. Squish. UH. Squish.
Dan: But to emphasise the fact that he farts, he stands up and goes...
Dan: [inhales]
Dan: ...FAAAAAAART and then just goes *pff*.
Sedge: Canada's just a TV show.
Sedge: Everybody Hates Trump™
Dan: I'll make you dead, dear.
Sedge: Oh don't make me flush!
Dan: Do you know how condensed my pubic hairs are?
Sedge: You could stab someone with them, like a porcupine-penis.
Sedge: Bathroom tits.
Dan: My ass is bleeding.
Sedge: *various squelching noises*
Dan: *laughs*
Dan: You can't hear my health.
Sedge: M A Y O R Q U I M B Y
Sedge: Kertmern from Serth Perk.
Dan: Oh, I wasn't talking about sucking dick, you're just rocking back and forth.
Sedge: Now that you mention it, a rocking chair would be really good to give blowjobs.
Sedge: ...like an erection machine!
Sedge: ...as long as its on and around the cock.
Sedge: Oh you mean myself having sex with myself?
Sedge: George Bush appeared and he just went "I'M GONNA EAT YA!" and that's apparently what he sounds like!
Sedge: Not a big fan of cock.
Sedge: Chocolate cock?
Sedge: I don't know why you're questioning me, but why do you sound Russian in Bolivia?
Dan: Creek is love, creek is life.
Sedge: Dawson's Creek.
Sedge: I'm a fucking owl.
Sedge: ...and I'm inside Blackbeard.
Sedge: We can re-enact Bolivian 9/11 (which never happened...yet).
Sedge: Slip your little dick inside them.
Sedge: I'm gonna extract the shit outta you!
Sedge: Jab her in the cunt.
Sedge: Kevin Bacon's cum.
Sedge: Why are you a black cow from the 80's?
Dan: It's simple, but fun.
Sedge: Simple butt fun!
Sedge: I haven't actually inserted bacon into my anus yet.
Sedge: My saddle's waiting!
Sedge: My booty's full of spunk.
Sedge: I've got a raging semi, let's go!
Dan: My god, my bush wife!
Sedge: Nah, my Dad's actually a Unicorn.
Sedge: Are you my Daddy?
Dan: ...and I love you, and I need you and...
Dan: *various whale noises*
Sedge: Why is Zoidberg in the helicopter?
Sedge: You'll want a dude who will blow us?
Sedge: Just stab it into your testicles and your babies come out massive and scary.
Sedge: I love it when you squeeze my mandibles.
Dan: Did you say you wanna vomit through those forests?
Sedge: It's like your arsecrack after a good workout.
Sedge: I wanna have sex with a boy.
Sedge: I'll be honest, if I saw Dwayne Johnson on the street (completely naked), I'd probably stare at his cock for hours.
GOD DAMMIT - THE VIDEO CUT OFF
Sedge: Daddy said I wasn't ginger enough.
Sedge: Congratulations, I compared you to Ryan Gosling!
Dan: I can maybe put my dick in the stump.
Sedge: I love my women with giant poles stuck up their arse.
Sedge: You have a nice arse for an old lady.
Sedge: I'm going to call him Mr. Scrumptious.
Dan: Fuckin' need additional sluts.
Dan: I'm a cupcake.
Sedge: Maybe the more Nazis you kill, the...the less dead you'll be?
Sedge: Feast on their demise!
Dan: ...or multiple of my face-holes.
Sedge: Me mother tried to make me a Castrati!
Sedge: Is that a sniper over there?
Sedge: No no no, he has good dental hygiene.
Sedge: Salty surprise, if you know what I mean.
Sedge: Mummy, can I pick the flowers for you?
Sedge: No, you're a little boy.
Sedge: We have such a brotherly bond that we can go inside of each other and not even care.
Sedge: Not pictures of pizza, actually a Pizza Pants.
Sedge: Lieutenant Hans Danse Flanzen!
Sedge: Oh sweet, German rollerskates!
Sedge: If they're pure, that means they are white.
Sedge: ...a retarded Nazi banging pots.
Sedge: Hi-ro-shi-ma.
Sedge: I'm going to...I'm going to...*pop* Babidaboopi.
Sedge: Put on your red shoes and kill the Jews.
Sedge: We're gonna kill his guns. Dan: I hope we're Jews. Sedge: We're gonna rape his mouth- I think you are actually Jewish.
Sedge: It's like Where's Wally but with guns.
Sedge: Sedge and Dave coming up soon.
Sedge: Let me in your anus.
Sedge: ...or a trough eating from a horse?
Sedge: Matt Craig *laughs*
Sedge: I forgot about Mussolini.
Sedge: I just marked my privates.
Sedge: I fondled a dude and couldn't find anything.
Sedge: So yeah Dan, uh...your entire family is Nazis.
Dan: Your entire family is now balls.
Sedge: ...being glazed by a man.
Sedge: But you are my donut - I will make you sticky.
Sedge: 1, 2, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock, CARL FAIRBURNE.
Sedge: 5, 6, 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, CARL FAIRBURNE.
Dan: I am short!
Dan: Mother Chewer, suck my manure.
I'm going to give you a Pacific Rimjob.
Sedge: He's like "HEY, I LIKE ACTION MAN TOO!"
Sedge: ...fucking Wookies.
Sedge: Cuddly Nazis.
Sedge: There's a rumbly in my tumbly.
Sedge: How much is that Nazi in the window?
Sedge: I could totally blow those guys.
Dan: Do you like to do the horizontal Cha-Cha upon my dry Doritos?
Sedge: Okay, now you're just forcing it.
*collective laughter*
Dan: Oh that's good, cause you're radiating very sex.
Sedge: He's the King of...wireless area networks.
Dan: Do you study fucking?
Sedge: I just came on Christ.
Dan: White loli toast.
Sedge: I digest things and then eat them and then digest them again.
Dan: ...takin' the shit out of my arsehole.
Sedge: Whoop dee doo, have a bowl of Jews.
Dan: I do have a big butt.
Sedge: Trust me, I know - I suck a lot of dicks.
Dan: The squirrel that's in the wall?
Sedge: Horse Vaginal Yodelling.
*collective laughter*
Dan: Horse Vaginal Yeast.
Sedge: I've got a black eye from a black guy.
Dan: Vu ja de!
Sedge: SEDGE!
Dan: It's like Bat out of Hell but the bike leaves Meatloaf instead of Meatloaf jumping off the bike.
Sedge: He's a flexible retard.
Dan: Huh hah hahh! I mean AAAGH! I MEAN AAAAAGHH!
Sedge: Nibbles, chew on my ballsack.
Dan: It's kinda like BDSM. Sedge: Oooh!
Dan: You're a candy cock!
Sedge: Willy Wonka and the Sewerage Plant.
Dan: Spurt from thy mouth.
Sedge: I'll get up your backside.
Dan: Hey, fuck you Shakespeare!
Sedge: GLASS ASS!
Sedge: Hey Mama, how 'bout some chicken tendies?
Dan: You've eaten a pastie, you've eaten all the Nazis.
Sedge: RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Sedge: Damn your slippery goodness!
Dan: Nah he said blowing them, he didn't say from his mouth.
Sedge: I fell into the water after tripping on a boob!
Dan: Lego Racist?
Sedge: What if it's a man butt?
Dan: All those little yellow men.
Sedge: *inexplicably orgasms*
Dan: I can perfectly - without it just touching - slide it in and out with any resistance.
Dan: It's raining scrotums!
Sedge: It's actually mucus.
Dan: It's like they've taken away the wind.
Sedge: Fill my cunt, put some penis in it.
Dan: You completed my gash!
Sedge: ...cause my mouth is held together with my sticky juices.
Dan: This is my Labrador!
Sedge: The bee's anus...is a portal...to another Universe.
Sedge: Sexy horse trenchcoat. Sexy horse trenchcoat. Sexy horse trenchcoat. Dan: *singing the Russian National Anthem*
Dan: I am Le'Squeak.
Sedge: Goldblum didn't get his tenderloins!
Dan: The real life version of the black man.
Sedge: Gaben is like...munching down on money - or whatever he eats these days.
Dan: You were playing the solo banjo there for a second.
Sedge: A man within a woman within a man within a woman.
Dan: There's balls!
Sedge: Yoda with chicken legs.
Sedge: I cannot hear the boy, but I know he is screaming.
Dan: Thank you! I bled on it recently.
Sedge: My Mum died yesterday. What have you done?!
Sedge: ...I fucked a dude.
Sedge: Wakkiwakkiwah! No no no. Bukkalukkadah! No no no.
Dan: I'm a scared burrito!
Sedge: Do you know how much moisture leaves the human body in one breath?
Dan: The little Dykes are asleep.
Sedge: Oh hoh ho! Mexico!
Sedge: Better not bang a gay dude then!
Sedge: Constant penal resuscitation.
Dan: CUM ON AN ONION! Sedge *wheeze*
Sedge: Women does not belong outside!
Dan: Now lay down, this'll only hurt A LOT.
Sedge: Let's make an entire YouTube channel where we like...boil things inside of a toilet.
Sedge: Like Woodstock, but for anuses!
Sedge: Share the load.
Sedge: I think I have a really adhesive butt.
Sedge: Some say the Yeti is just a gay guy...running around the thing...looking for a twink.
Dan: He doesn't have a vagina - he may have tits.
Sedge: I just imagined a crocodile in a dress.
Sedge: You're half Mexican?
Sedge: ...is the other half clean?
Sedge: I'm not afraid of homosexuals, I just hate them!
Dan: HE'S A ONE-EYED DRAGOOOOON!
Sedge: As long as he turns into a dragon and fire comes out of his cock mid-coitus, I'm okay with this.
Dan: I didn't say you're sucking on his cock, you just have to suck on him.
Sedge: There was a black kid with, like...glasses. He had, like...no eyes.
Dan: Fill more girls.
Sedge: No! There's not a pony called Little Cunt.
Dan: Because I'm a smelly, sexy boy.
Sedge: I didn't feel right...and then when I saw it I had the biggest boner so it was all okay.
Dan: ...and then you felt great!
Sedge: ...oh, I mean...a few strokes later.
Dan: I do incest.
Sedge: You keep saying that, but I've yet to see you bang your sister.
Dan: If you accept them and you let 'em into your heart, they kill you!
Sedge: CJ, I told you to (hoh) follow the damn train!
Sedge: *various decapitated noises*
Sedge: I'll feed you to myself.
Sedge: It's like someone's ramming you up the arse with a spaceship.
Dan: Yeah, I'd fuck Pierce Brosnan. What about it?
Sedge: Disable his tit.
Dan: Do you shake and pop the baby, or just shake it?
Sedge: Oh no, that was me cumming on it.
Dan: You're no fun on floors!
Sedge: That's not fat, it's clogged-up blood!
Sedge: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the Bells.
Sedge: Oh what fun it is to Jingle Bells.
Sedge: *various cartoon noises*
Dan: Bring me a queef.
Sedge: Bring me your cream.
Dan: Let's get together and feel my crotch.
Dan: Let me hear your Bobby talk. Sedge: BOBBY.
Sedge: You ran right up my arsehole!
Sedge: H E Y Q U E P A S A ?
Sedge: I'm not a fucking bird!
Dan: Yes you are.
Sedge: Tweet. FUCK.
Sedge: What? What? In the butt?
Sedge: Just one.
Sedge: ...just one suck.
Sedge: I screamed for half a second.
*screams for half a second*
Dan: Did you eat my corpse?
Sedge: We were essentially juggling three men at once.
Dan: I never wet the bed.
Sedge: ...'cause that sounds like anus.
Dan: You don't need your orifices!
Sedge: Please me next to the vehicle.
Sedge: Down on your knees, give me a squeeze.
Dan: Greg spot!
Sedge: Just put your fingers up a lady's arsehole and there's the dude from The Wiggles up there.
Dan: Wake up GREG.
Sedge: Everybody's tickling.
Dan: Wake up GREG.
Sedge: They're stickin' it inside!
Sedge: Toot toot, chugga chugga, Big Red Car.
Sedge: ...that's about the car that drove JFK on his assassination day.
Dan: Oh yes, of course it is. Yes. Sedge: We'll travel here - the location of his death.
Sedge: ...and we'll travel far - the distance of his assassin.
Dan: No, I was gonna say the distance his brain went.
Sedge: Oh it's red because of the blood splatter!
Sedge: Fruit salad...is a metaphor for homosexuals!
Sedge: You are so delicious.
Sedge: They're all...decayed with dark skin!
Sedge: There's no better gift than a smile!
Sedge: ...apart from my cock.
Dan: I'm a bad boy bat.
Sedge: ...fat bikers doing stripper dances on the back of motorised wheelchairs.
Sedge: So it's kinda like a conga line of dancing fat dudes.
Sedge: Cool guys don't look at cool guys.
Sedge: Imagination rhymes with masturbation.
Dan: I'm a whore!
Sedge: Inside the baby - that's not how nappies work!
Sedge: Legalise gay marijuana!
Sedge: That is how the Cunt do.
Dan: Come do some jumping jacks!
Sedge: Hitlers get frightened when they hear scared noises.
Sedge: I've got a hole.
Dan: You made his...brain vibrate.
Sedge: I'm gonna move over here 'cause there was a dude in my butt.
Dan: Did you say you're a generous donut?
Sedge: You turned from Santa to Krusty the Clown.
Sedge: Pop goes the Nazi.
Dan: That man just slitch-twitched.
Sedge: I've got magnet hands!
Sedge: Elvis didn't die, he just went back in time and became Hitler!
Dan: He bricked like a fucking suck.
Sedge: Hitler's cock.
Sedge: The boom-boom suck-suck.
Sedge: Ooh, you make me live now Hitler!
Sedge: Perfectly centred...
Sedge: *justified orgasm sounds*
Sedge: It's okay, she was female - she enjoyed it.
Sedge: 12,000 volts right to the cock!
Sedge: Spiders stare into your soul?
Sedge: They're just fucking, everywhere.
Sedge: *various orgasm noises*
Sedge: Aw fuck, we landed in Holland.
Sedge: ...and a combination of the two which I like to call...
Sedge: ...SARS.
Dan: I GOT A BOO BOO.
Sedge: You hurt me in my no-no zone!
Sedge: I'm a hack vampire!
Sedge: *animal noises*
Sedge: *more animal noises*
Sedge: *further animal noises*
Sedge: *roadkill noises*
Sedge: You got a nice arse for a little boy.
Sedge: Just brush it off. Brush off the blood.
Sedge: Mrs. Blackfire.
Dan: What we have is beautiful!
Sedge: Just murdering a bunch of Chinese...ah, there's plenty to spare.
Dan: ...I mean there's a woman one here, she should already be dead.
Sedge: Fight Crub!
Sedge: I have Danitis!
Dan: You're a horsicle!
Sedge: ...put your finger on the kid's face and just *slurp*
Sedge: Yep.
Sedge: Semen.
Dan: The soul-swallowing boxes.
Sedge: That's not cardboard, that's soul juice.
Dan: Yeah you- *laughs*.
Dan: Dad raped.
Dan: It's when someone calls you Dad without your consent.
Dan: You said it was at the fuck? Sedge: It was right at the fuck! Dan: Better go find it!
Sedge: It's a lesbian bike.
Sedge: STEEL ANUS!
Dan: It's not easy...being cheesy.
Sedge: Mmm...lubetenants.
Dan: My dogs are barking.
Sedge: I'm guessing the closer you get, the more interdimensional it becomes.
Sedge: Liquorice points.
Sedge: Caress it. Politely.
Dan: Just blood.
Sedge: ...or a laaaabiaaaaaa.
Sedge: Are you a helicopter lumberjack?
Sedge: Why were you making South African electronic music?
Sedge: B-b-b--boom boom. Nakipuka lakitabaiah tooki-wah boom-gik-boom.
Dan: I don't like my life.
Sedge: Dick already tastes disgusting in the first place, but liquorice dick?
Sedge: Just give me a lot of sex.
Sedge: I suck fractions.
Sedge: I keep like...just missing the little slutty bit.
Sedge: Fuck suck.
Sedge: I couldn't run over it and crush my balls.
Sedge: Armoured vaaaaaaaaj.
Sedge: *gasps*
Sedge: This is a whole metaphor for tumblr!
Sedge: *little anime girl sounds*
Dan: Why did you make the sound of a little anime girl?
Sedge: I feel like a...vulnerable turtle!
Sedge: ...or a tortoise.
Sedge: You didn't just crush him, you emotionally destroyed him.
Sedge: We all FUCK down here.
Sedge: You just crushed a man!
Sedge: I raped a taxi.
Sedge: My editing brain!
Sedge: Have you ever...
Sedge: ...ever sucked some dicks?
Sedge: It's like a Jew Nazi.
Sedge: ...like, someone just grabbed the throat of my car and slammed it against the ground.
Sedge: Mark Ruffalo.
Sedge: Much like small Chihuahuas, it's not good to have eye contact with anything minorly aggressive.
Dan: FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. CUNT. FUNT. FUCK.
Sedge: That's a terrifying mental image.
Sedge: You got any queef?
Sedge: Me mother was a weasel.
Dan: Put another meth on the barbie!
Sedge: Kurt...Russel.
Sedge: I played a gym coach!
Sedge: That means vagoinah.
Dan: I see bread people!
Sedge: I need to go to the...the Ammunation and get some bodily functions.
Sedge: I'm an Aztec God!
Sedge: That's why it kinda looks like a worm!
Dan: They don't work in general cause they're black.
Sedge: *wheezes*
Sedge: I'm just gonna pulsate next to you.
Sedge: ...with an intestine sack.
Sedge: Please sir, can I have some meth?
Dan: Your mouth pussy.
Sedge: M Y M O U T H P U S S Y
Sedge: They look like living snake-cocks.
Sedge: I just imagined (the) most of the Elites just running around the walls really fast going...
Sedge: *various licking noises*
Dan: Noddy, Noddy, the gay little fag.
Sedge: Just punch cunts.
Dan: Oh I love the Frim From Froppers!
Sedge: You look like a fucking cartoon character!
Sedge: ...Chief's boobs in my face.
Dan: I- I blew myself!
Sedge: Look at the fiery hole!
Sedge: I'm juggling your Chief.
Sedge: That's racist.
Dan: Poor gay Sedge.
Sedge: It's a Chwistmas mewicle.
Dan: All I can hear is screaming!
Sedge: I was a pencil!
Dan: Aww, I dropped my penis.
Sedge: I'm pulling on it!
Dan: Me, inside your pants - NOW.
Sedge: You've already got your hands all over it, don't you?
Sedge: You're just flinging your Johnson!
Sedge: *intense wheezing*
Sedge: What's that, Lassie?
Sedge: ROOOOOARHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW
Sedge: ...and then there's also Turn On Your Daddy.
Sedge: You don't need me Sir, but you want me!
Dan: They want his big John...son.
Sedge: The Wicked Witch of the Old West.
Sedge: Infinitely respawning screaming girl.
Sedge: Oh, it's David Cross. No wonder it's an arsehole.
Sedge: Your existence, I must...vape.
Sedge: ...it's like having a surprise party and everyone's just lying on the ground, bleeding.
Sedge: I might just 'bate.
Dan: No German Shepards and sideways vaginas?
Sedge: God I love cock.
Sedge: If a problem comes along, stick him in the penis.
Sedge: I'm not a fucking ambulance!
Dan: I'm a gambling mammoth as well.
Sedge: What fun is life without death?
Dan: Huge Sackman.
Sedge: The biggest of the Sack-men.
Sedge: Peering through. Saying Hi. Nibbling my tits.
Sedge: I didn't even get the chance to...fffffffill up my joy-hole.
Sedge: The gain...in your Spain...falls mainly down my pain.
Sedge: IT'S BIG AND BOLD AND BLOCKY.
Sedge: ...like, during sex they just give up.
Dan: Baby poking!
Dan: Yes, we shall create incest.
Sedge: Having sex!
Sedge: He hit me right in the Old Asian man syndrome.
Sedge: I forgot I was a pirate.
Sedge: Just a bunch of black slaves!
Sedge: ...a TV show with three witches.
Dan: That's a good question.
*giant sawblade kills secret agent in background*
Dan: There we go.
Sedge: My father was...several bands of metal.
Dan: I'm gonna be a church.
Dan: I wanna fuck your eye sockets!
Sedge: She's tough as nails, but soft as a cock.
Sedge: I'm Canasian!
Sedge: News reports say blblblbblblblblblblbbl THE END.
Dan: I'm gonna blow...meself.
Sedge: Oh fuckboy! There's a man in me.
Dan: That is very balls.
Sedge: My Microsoft is John Dad and he will FUCK YOU UP.
Dan: You might just tickle my pickle.
Sedge: ...'cause being a cripple is not better than being dead!
Dan: 'CAUSE EVERY TIME I TOUCH...IT BREAKS.
Sedge: Why was I sexually attracted to glass?!
Dan: ...they were two black people as well, which is weird because they're not pure.
Sedge: ...one of them is literally a horse.
Dan: I must whip myself five times!
Sedge: ..with a really hairy back.
Dan: Aww, the very first image I see is a bunch of men shouting at me!
Sedge: Naughty boy.
Dan: ...also known as Tom Cruise.
Sedge: Don't fuck men.
Sedge: ...and the Lord said...(turn the page)...
Sedge: NIGGA I'LL FUCK YOU UP
Dan: ...and Sonic and Tails took each other...
Sedge: They will be handcuffed...
Sedge: ...and strapped to my cock.
Dan: Thou shalt not suck the cock of another brother.
Sedge: That was from the Black Bible, you're reading the wrong thing.
Dan: ...it was a fucking Japanese.
Sedge: The Mormon Bible IS a fan-fiction.
Dan; Let us go fuck donkeys, and the such.
Sedge: Mormons don't believe in leopards.
Dan: You have a really angry small face. You're like a gnome.
Sedge: ...like, if I clenched it up any more, it would become an anus.
Sedge: My first Muslim.
Dan: You have to slowly creep over fat people.
Sedge: ...just scrape it off their buttcheeks.
Dan: It's kind of like a Kinder Surprise - you unwrap them.
Sedge: ...the smooth, refreshing taste of myself.
Dan: She was like "Mmm...cock!"
Sedge: Man! I feel like a...ssssuckboy.
Dan: ...deformed, with three balls.
Sedge: I should've got a Daddy.
Dan: They explode in your mouth!
Dan: ...like my cock!
Sedge: It's like looking in a mirror! But a little bit less gay.
Dan: Fuck the Jews.
Sedge: We also stone people by slamming Dwayne Johnson against them inside of a cage.
Dan: It would be just Simba walking around, huffing paint and not doing anything with his life and getting paid for it.
Sedge: Yeah, sounds like Vin Diesel.
Dan: ...and they're yellow!
Sedge: Tim Allen is not worthy!
Dan: Incredibly white - the way it should be.
Sedge: A sticky load.
Dan: Loud noises!
*a second saw blade kills the previous secret agent's son*
Sedge: He's usin' black magic!
Dan: So it's like two mutt dogs - you just slap 'em on the side of your head.
Sedge: Cut some pubes onto my face, please.
Dan: My plastic penis!
Sedge: Supremacy market.
Dan: You like that Colonel cock.
Sedge: It's all part of the service.
Dan: Drowning Americans.
Sedge: Fuck spiders!
Dan: ...'cause she just YAAAAGHH.
Sedge: What are you doing? *gagging noises*
Dan: You look down and you're just sucking on my cock.
Sedge: I face-fucked a man on fire.
Dan: So no one told me I was gonna bleed this way.
*clap clap clap clap*
Hey!
Sedge.
Sedge here.
Yeah that...that doesn't work at all.
But what is...a question?
Still here?
GREAT!
In about a week, I'll finally introduce the new channel overhaul.
I've probably over-hyped it to hell...
...and it may start a bit slower than people have expected...
...and it's probably really simple and not really that exciting for many people...
...plus also there's not a massive increase in frequency of videos (but I'll still start actually making things even though it's not that good)...
...but it signifies a new chapter in my life, and the channel...
...and I'm bloody excited :D
Hell, I love No Context Theatre so much that I've actually made a spiritual successor in almost every single video!
(...and also No Context Theatre is still alive, so it's not like, spiritual...)
(...cause that implies ghosts.)
But basically, next year's gonna be...
...a little different...
...kinda the same...
...but...how would I describe it best?
It's the next bit.
There you go.
THE SQUEAKQUEL.
See ya next year :)
...or this year, because the video will release on January 1st in Australia...
...which is usually ahead of the time in most countries, so it'll probably release...
...on January. No, December the 31st in your country.
And you'll be like "Awwh this isn't even the next year, what's wrong with you?!" and I'll be like "Ohhhhhh..."
"...I knew you'd do this, you...bastards."
BUT NEVERTHELESS
Goodbye for now.
Be prepared for a very...
...interesting year.
See ya next time :)
*this is why I edit*
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