Depression, Anxiety And Fatigue Symptoms Of  The Mutiny Of The Soul
  by Charles Eisenstein
  Depression, anxiety, and fatigue are an essential  part of a process of metamorphosis that is
  unfolding on the planet today, and highly  significant for the light they shed on the
  transition from an old world to a new.
  When a growing fatigue or depression becomes  serious, and we get a diagnosis of Epstein-Barr
  or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or hypothyroid  or low serotonin, we typically feel relief
  and alarm.
  Alarm: something is wrong with me.
  Relief: at least I know I�m not imagining  things; now that I have a diagnosis, I can
  be cured, and life can go back to normal.
  But of course, a cure for these conditions  is elusive.
  The Question
  The notion of a cure starts with the question,  �What has gone wrong?� But there is another,
  radically different way of seeing fatigue  and depression that starts by asking, �What
  is the body, in its perfect wisdom, responding  to?� When would it be the wisest choice
  for someone to be unable to summon the energy  to fully participate in life?
  The answer is staring us in the face.
  When our soul-body is saying No to life, through  fatigue or depression, the first thing to
  ask is, �Is life as I am living it the right  life for me right now?� When the soul-body
  is saying No to participation in the world,  the first thing to ask is, �Does the world
  as it is presented me merit my full participation?�
  What if there is something so fundamentally  wrong with the world, the lives, and the way
  of being offered us, that withdrawal is the  only sane response?
  Withdrawal, followed by a reentry into a world,  a life, and a way of being wholly different
  from the one left behind?
  The unspoken goal of modern life seems to  be to live as long and as comfortably as possible,
  to minimize risk and to maximize security.
  We see this priority in the educational system,  which tries to train us to be �competitive�
  so that we can �make a living�.
  We see it in the medical system, where the  goal of prolonging life trumps any consideration
  of whether, sometimes, the time has come to  die.
  We see it in our economic system, which assumes  that all people are motivated by �rational
  self-interest�, defined in terms of money,  associated with security and survival.
  (And have you ever thought about the phrase  �the cost of living�?)
  We are supposed to be practical, not idealistic;  we are supposed to put work before play.
  Ask someone why she stays in a job she hates,  and as often as not the answer is, �For
  the health insurance.� In other words, we  stay in jobs that leave us feeling dead in
  order to gain the assurance of staying alive.
  When we choose health insurance over passion,  we are choosing survival over life.
  On a deep level, which I call the soul level,  we want none of that.
  We recognize that we are here on earth to  enact a sacred purpose, and that most of the
  jobs on offer are beneath our dignity as human  beings.
  But we might be too afraid to leave our jobs,  our planned-out lives, our health insurance,
  or whatever other security and comfort we  have received in exchange for our divine gifts.
  Deep down, we recognize this security and  comfort as slaves� wages, and we yearn to
  be free.
  A rebellion of the Soul
  So, the soul rebels.
  Afraid to make the conscious choice to step  away from a slave�s life, we make the choice
  unconsciously instead.
  We can no longer muster the energy to go through  the motions.
  We enact this withdrawal from life through  a variety of means.
  We might summon the Epstein-Barr virus into  our bodies, or mononucleosis, or some other
  vector of chronic fatigue.
  We might shut down our thyroid or adrenal  glands.
  We might shut down our production of serotonin  in the brain.
  Other people take a different route, incinerating  the excess life energy in the fires of addiction.
  Either way, we are in some way refusing to  participate.
  We are shying away from ignoble complicity  in a world gone wrong.
  We are refusing to contribute our divine gifts  to the aggrandizement of that world.
  That is why the conventional approach of fixing  the problem so that we can return to normal
  life will not work.
  It might work temporarily, but the body will  find other ways to resist.
  Raise serotonin levels with SSRIs, and the  brain will prune some receptor sites, thinking
  in its wisdom, �Hey, I�m not supposed  to feel good about the life I am living right
  now.� In the end, there is always suicide,  a common endpoint of the pharmaceutical regimes
  that seek to make us happy with something  inimical to our very purpose and being.
  You can only force yourself to abide in wrongness  so long.
  When the soul�s rebellion is suppressed  too long, it can explode outward in bloody
  revolution.
  Significantly, all of the school shootings  in the last decade have involved people on
  anti-depression medication.
  All of them!
  For a jaw-dropping glimpse of the results  of the pharmaceutical regime of control, scroll
  down this compilation of suicide/homicide  cases involving SSRIs.
  I am not using �jaw-dropping� as a figure  of speech.
  My jaw literally dropped open.
  Back in the 1970s, dissidents in the Soviet  Union were often hospitalized in mental institutions
  and given drugs similar to the ones used to  treat depression today.
  The reasoning was that you had to be insane  to be unhappy in the Socialist Workers�
  Utopia.
  When the people treating depression receive  status and prestige from the very system that
  their patients are unhappy with, they are  unlikely to affirm the basic validity of the
  patient�s withdrawal from life.
  �The system has to be sound � after all,  it validates my professional status � therefore
  the problem must be with you.�
  Unfortunately, �holistic� approaches are  no different, as long as they deny the wisdom
  of the body�s rebellion.
  When they do seem to work, usually that is  because they coincide with some other shift.
  When someone goes out and gets help, or makes  a radical switch of modalities, it works as
  a ritual communication to the unconscious  mind of a genuine life change.
  Rituals have the power to make conscious decisions  real to the unconscious.
  They can be part of taking back one�s power.
  I have met countless people of great compassion  and sensitivity, people who would describe
  themselves as �conscious� or �spiritual�,  who have battled with CFS, depression, thyroid
  deficiency, and so on.
  These are people who have come to a transition  point in their lives where they become physically
  incapable of living the old life in the old  world.
  That is because, in fact, the world presented  to us as normal and acceptable is anything
  but.
  It is a monstrosity.
  Ours is a planet in pain.
  If you need me to convince you of that, if  you are unaware of the destruction of forests,
  oceans, wetlands, cultures, soil, health,  beauty, dignity, and spirit that underlies
  the System we live in, then I have nothing  to say to you.
  I only am speaking to you if you do believe  that there is something deeply wrong with
  the way we are living on this planet.
  Anxiety �disorders�
  A related syndrome comprises various �attention  deficit� and anxiety �disorders� (forgive
  me, I cannot write down these words without  the ironic quotation marks) which reflect
  an unconscious knowledge that something is  wrong around here.
  Anxiety, like all emotions, has a proper function.
  Suppose you left a pot on the stove and you  know you forgot something, you just can�t
  remember what.
  You cannot rest at ease.
  Something is bothering you, something is wrong.
  Subliminally you smell smoke.
  You obsess: did I leave the water running?
  Did I forget to pay the mortgage?
  The anxiety keeps you awake and alert; it  doesn�t let you rest; it keeps your mind
  churning, worrying.
  This is good.
  This is what saves your life.
  Eventually you realize � the house is on  fire! � and anxiety turns into panic, and
  action.
  So if you suffer from anxiety, maybe you don�t  have a �disorder� at all � maybe the
  house is on fire.
  Anxiety is simply the emotion corresponding  to �Something is dangerously wrong and I
  don�t know what it is.� That is only a  disorder if there is in fact nothing dangerously
  wrong.
  �Nothing is wrong, just you� is the message  that any therapy gives when it tries to fix
  you.
  I disagree with that message.
  The problem is not with you.
  You have very good reason to be anxious.
  Anxiety keeps part of your attention away  from your tasks of polishing the silverware
  as the house burns down, of playing the violin  as the Titanic sinks.
  Unfortunately, the wrongness you are tapping  into might be beyond the cognizance of the
  psychiatrists who treat you, who then conclude  that the problem must be your brain.
  Similarly, Attention Deficit Disorder, ADHD,  and my favorite, Oppositional Defiant Disorder
  (ODD) are only disorders if we believe that  the things presented for our attention are
  worth paying attention to.
  We cannot admit, without calling into question  the whole edifice of our school system, that
  it may be completely healthy for a ten-year-old  boy to not sit still for six hours in a classroom
  learning about long division and Vasco de  Gama.
  Perhaps the current generation of children,  that some call the Indigos, simply have a
  lower tolerance for school�s agenda of conformity,  obedience, external motivation, right-and-wrong
  answers, the quantification of performance,  rules and bells, report cards and grades and
  your permanent record.
  So we try to enforce their attention with  stimulants, and subdue their heroic intuitive
  rebellion against the spirit-wrecking machine.
  As I write about the �wrongness� against  which we all rebel, I can hear some readers
  asking, �What about the metaphysical principle  that it�s �all good�?� Just relax,
  I am told, nothing is wrong, all is part of  the divine plan.
  You only perceive it as wrong because of your  limited human perspective.
  All of this is only here for our own development.
  War: it gives people wonderful opportunities  to make heroic choices and burn off bad karma.
  Life is wonderful, Charles, why do you have  to make it wrong?
  I am sorry, but usually such reasoning is  just a sop to the conscience.
  If it is all good, then that is only because  we perceive and experience it as terribly
  wrong.
  The perception of iniquity moves us to right  it.
  Nonetheless, it would be ignorant and fruitless  to pass judgment upon those who do not see
  anything wrong, who, oblivious to the facts  of destruction, think everything is basically
  fine.
  There is a natural awakening process, in which  first we proceed full speed ahead participating
  in the world, believing in it, seeking to  contribute to the Ascent of Humanity.
  Eventually, we encounter something that is  undeniably wrong, perhaps a flagrant injustice
  or a serious health problem or a tragedy near  at hand.
  Our first response is to think this is an  isolated problem, remediable with some effort,
  within a system that is basically sound.
  But when we try to fix it, we discover deeper  and deeper levels of wrongness.
  The rot spreads; we see that no injustice,  no horror can stand in isolation.
  We see that the disappeared dissidents in  South America, the child laborers in Pakistan,
  the clearcut forests of the Amazon, are all  intimately linked together in a grotesque
  tapestry that includes every aspect of modern  life.
  We realize that the problems are too big to  fix.
  We are called to live in an entirely different  way, starting with our most fundamental values
  and priorities.
  All of us go through this process, repeatedly,  in various realms of our lives; all parts
  of the process are right and necessary.
  The phase of full participation is a growth  phase in which we develop gifts that will
  be applied very differently later.
  The phase of trying to fix, to endure, to  soldier on with a life that isn�t working
  is a maturation phase that develops qualities  of patience and determination and strength.
  The phase of discovering the all-encompassing  nature of the problem is usually a phase of
  despair, but it need not be.
  Properly, it is a phase of rest, of stillness,  of withdrawal, of preparation for a push.
  The push is a birth-push.
  Crises in our lives converge and propel us  into a new life, a new being that we hardly
  imagine could exist, except that we�d heard  rumors of it, echoes, and maybe even caught
  a glimpse of it here and there, been granted  through grace a brief preview.
  If you are in the midst of this process, you  need not suffer if you cooperate with it.
  I can offer you two things.
  First is self-trust.
  Trust your own urge to withdraw even when  a million messages are telling you, �The
  world is fine, what�s wrong with you?
  Get with the program.� Trust your innate  belief that you are here on earth for something
  magnificent, even when a thousand disappointments  have told you you are ordinary.
  Trust your idealism, buried in your eternal  child�s heart, that says that a far more
  beautiful world than this is possible.
  Trust your impatience that says �good enough�  is not good enough.
  Do not label your noble refusal to participate  as laziness and do not medicalize it as an
  illness.
  Your heroic body has merely made a few sacrifices  to serve your growth.
  The second thing I can offer you is a map.
  The journey I have described is not always  linear, and you may find yourself from time
  to time revisiting earlier territory.
  When you find the right life, when you find  the right expression of your gifts, you will
  receive an unmistakable signal.
  You will feel excited and alive.
  Many people have preceded you on this journey,  and many more will follow in times to come.
  Because the old world is falling apart, and  the crises that initiate the journey are converging
  upon us.
  Soon many people will follow the paths we  have pioneered.
  Each journey is unique, but all share the  same basic dynamics I have described.
  When you have passed through it, and understood  the necessity and rightness of each of its
  phases, you will be prepared to midwife others  through it as well.
  Your condition, all the years   of it, has prepared you for this.
  It has prepared you to ease the passage of  those who will follow.
     
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