- Hi, I'm Jackson Bird and I am a trash human.
(upbeat groove)
For those of you who don't know,
earlier this year I spent four months as a TED Resident.
I got to work out of their headquarters in Manhattan,
I got a lot of mentorship and resources
to launch my podcast, Transmission,
and I gave a TED Talk
which will be live on TED.com November 14.
Mark your calendars.
Now, there were a lot of cool things in the TED offices,
but one thing I noticed early on was a button maker.
And it was just sitting on one of the hallway shelves
of books that people can take,
so I was pretty sure that I could use it sometime.
Now, I am a purveyor of button culture.
I make and sell these Will It Waffle? buttons sometimes,
sometimes I make other buttons,
I like to collect all my friends' buttons,
but I don't have my own button maker.
So I always had it in my mind that I would
use that one at TED at some point,
but I never did.
I just kept putting it off and putting it off,
and then the end of the residency came and went
and I never used the button maker.
And now, a couple months later,
I have a particular button set that I would like to make
to sell at LeakyCon in Dublin later this month.
So I asked if I could go visit TED, and they said cool.
So I went into TED this morning and the button maker,
which I had walked past every single day
when I went to get a coffee from the kitchen,
and which had never moved even a millimeter
the entire four months that I was there...
was gone.
Just disappeared.
I poked around a bit to try to find where it was
and I asked a couple of people and no one knew.
And not just did no one know;
in fact, everyone said that they never even
knew TED had a button maker.
No one knew what I was talking about.
I am 90% sure I did not make this up.
I know it might show up in time,
but I just got really frustrated with myself
for putting it off for so long.
I should have used it while I was there every day
and it was clearly available and existing.
And I know it's not a big deal,
it's a freaking button maker,
but I was just disappointed in myself
for my continual poor planning and procrastination.
And so I started spiraling into all the other times
that I've blown more serious real opportunities.
Like the recent speaking gig I missed out on
because I waited a few too many days to reply to the email
and by then it was too late.
Or the time a YouTube video of mine got picked up
by a legit Hollywood producer
who called me on the phone and asked what I wanted
and I said nothing.
I had nothing.
I didn't have a script in my back pocket,
I didn't have a short film for him to distribute.
I had no idea what I wanted to do
with my future or with my life,
so I just said nothing
and that relationship eventually withered away.
Or how when I was transferring colleges,
I never even applied to be a film major
because I didn't think my portfolio was good enough.
I had things to put in that portfolio
but I didn't believe in myself so I didn't even try.
And there's been a couple of times I've been
going out for a cool scholarship or something
and the application process has been going really well
but then I didn't prepare hardly at all for the interview
and so I totally blew it.
Or how about when I studied so little
for the written portion of my driver's permit test
that I failed it and had to wait six months
before I could take it again.
So not only was I already the youngest person in my grade,
I had to wait an additional six months
to get my driver's license because of my own
stupid, poor planning.
(sighs) I just get frustrated with myself
for doing stuff like this.
And some of it isn't my fault,
some of it is just the way the cookie crumbles,
just how life goes.
But I definitely need to work on some things.
But every time this happens
I definitely take it as a wake up call,
which I guess I just keep pressing "sleep" on that
because it's not working,
but maybe I will actually wake up this time.
Maybe the button maker has done it.
I try to learn and grow from these opportunities,
and I think I am a little bit more.
Whether it was me messing up
or just the way that things happened,
I try to find the silver lining or solutions.
You know, like, maybe it was good I didn't go to film school
because I actually really appreciate
the liberal arts degree that I got,
and in hindsight I don't think I would have wanted
to entirely be a film major.
And as for today, well, you know,
maybe the button maker will show up eventually,
but until then, I've already coordinated
with a friend who owns a button maker to help me out.
And you know once upon a time,
things like this would have really torn me up.
I think it's a combination of growing up
and being in a better mental health place
and having a better support system,
but I can kinda see the big picture better now
and see those opportunities to learn
and make solutions out of problems
and not feel totally defeated when I mess up.
Which is good, because I still mess up a lot.
But I am trying to be better.
I guess that's all any of us can do.
So today I want to hear your stories.
Comment with a time that you missed a cool opportunity
because you messed up somehow.
Let's use this as a time to learn
from each other's mistakes and grow together.
And hey, as always you can follow me,
@jackisnotabird on all of the social media things.
I do also sell merch through DFTBA Records,
more than just those little dinky buttons,
I got some cool enamel pins
and I will finally have more merch coming out very soon.
I'm finalizing some things with the designer,
I'm very excited for that.
I can't wait to share it with all of you.
And not that I made a good case for myself,
but I am a public speaker and I am currently booking
for LGBT History Month and Trans Awareness Week
in October and November,
so if you are a part of a school or an event
or a company or whatever and you would like
a speaker on trans issues or youth activism or online video,
get in touch, I've got details on how to do that below.
I'd love a chance to meet some of you.
That would be super rad.
But until then, thank you for watching this video.
Please do hit "like" if you related to this
or were inspired by my mistakes.
Thank you all very much for watching
and I'll see you next time.
(driving rock music)
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