Hi, thank you for joining me for another episode of the Trans 101 series today
I'm going to be talking about sex, so yes this video may be a little bit explicit
so if you are a parent, or friend, or acquaintance just
understand that because I don't want to
Confuse anyone I want to be as open as I can so that everyone can kind of understand
Concept of sex and trans people having sex so did you know that trans people have sex? OH
That's the thing did you know that other people don't mind having sex of trans people cool all right. Have a great day. Bye
I'm kidding
So there has been missed out there that either people don't want to sleep with people who are trans
Or that trans people don't want to sleep with other people because they're so uncomfortable with their bodies
I'm here to tell you that these are myths all right. There are a lot of people who?
fetishize trans people and only want to sleep with trans people because they're trans then there are also people who really don't mind that you're
Trans and kind of embrace that you're trans and are just like whatever it doesn't matter to me and
Also, there are a lot of trans people who are very comfortable with their bodies?
Or who are somewhat comfortable with their bodies and still act in a sexual manner and have sex with partners so in this video
I'm going to talk a little bit about STIs a little bit about
How trans people have sex and a little bit about the type of prosthetics that trans men and Gender nonconforming?
Non-binary Trans male folks may use I actually made two videos a while ago about STIs
for trans men where I talk about gonorrhea and chlamydia and HIV
and I talk about how to try their transmitted and what they are and
how to be careful and you know how to how to protect yourself so instead of talking about that in this video
I will link those I would highly recommend looking at those because it's just you know it's sex Ed
But it's taught by a trans person and it's talked about in a trans perspective for trans bodies
So a lot of sex Ed that is
available now really just
focuses on genitals and that
vagina equals woman, that's
problematic for a lot of trans people because they don't want to associate that with their genitals so what I try to do is be
More open and talk about genitals instead of Gender. So that's what I do
So please take a look at those videos i'll link them below so I'm going to focus mostly on
And trans mac individuals because that's what I am. I am not a trans woman
I can't talk about how trans women have sex and what trans women are comfortable with I
Also can't represent the entire trans community. I am a very open person. I talk about sex a lot
I review a lot of prosthetics and a lot of dildos and stuff like that for trans men
So I am someone who's very open not everyone is as open as I am but I am here to just
Talk to you
Just a little bit about sex and how trans people can have sex so if you're a partner of a trans person you would like
To have sex with them, but you just don't know what to do alright
Quickly I will tell you that you just need to listen to your partner and you need to ask questions
The most important thing you could ever do if you're sleeping with anyone is ask
What do you like? because there's such a thing as communication a lot of people don't have that when they're having sex
And it's super important to make sure that everyone's on the same page
Everything is consensual and that you're actually doing something that the person likes I
met a lot of trans people who have told me that they've slept with cis men or cis women and
Trans women also in General non-binary everyone in the past even trans men and
They weren't able to vocalize. Oh, I actually really don't like when you touch me there and instead
They just kind of feel very uncomfortable and very dysphoric
This is something that I'm trying to get people to Avoid
I would like there to be a crazy amount of communication, so when I'm sleeping with someone I either tell them right away
I'm like hey, I don't like this don't do that. Please do this. I really like this if you're comfortable with that
that's what I like to do to make sure that I'm
getting the most out of this encounter and that I'm happy and that the person is happy and
That that just produces like such a great way of communicating even if it's a hookup even if it's some grindr hookup
I'm like don't do that. And if they do it get out of my house. You know I'm saying so for example
There are a lot of trans men who bind their chest before they have top surgery
Some trans men are comfortable taking off their shirt, and they're binder during sex some are comfortable with you touching their breasts others are
Absolutely, not some people wear t-shirts, and they'll wear t-shirts forever until they have top surgery and that's fine
And then there are other trans men who are also very comfortable with their genitals where they
really embrace the genitals that they have and they like to be penetrated in the hole that they have and
they like to have sex with other people and
To have that genital those genitals that they have touched and all of that thing even before they have bottom surgery even before
even if they don't want bottom surgery
So they're trans people on the spectrum
Everywhere some people super comfortable some people will never have sex with or asexual we can't talk
We can't not talk about people were asexual there are people who are trans and who are asexual
It doesn't mean if they're asexual because they're trans and it doesn't mean they're trans because they're asexual. It's nothing like that
There are some asexual people who do have sex there are some who are sex repulsed
They don't want to have sex and that's okay as well
So if you meet a trans person you're getting along you want to get to know them
Even if you're trans yourself very good idea to have a lot of communication obviously on your first date
Don't want to give them wine and be like so what do you like in bed?
You know that's kind of awkward, or do you have a dick don't do that?
So please God don't do that, but instead when you have an open communication
And you know that it you know might lead to the bedroom soon or that night?
Quick quick Check-in and be like hey, we're on in the moment
and
I just want to make sure like what do you like and I know that for some people that can seem like oooo that kind
Of ruins the moment, but honestly it will make the moment so much better
it will make the moment so much better because
everyone will be happy with what's going on and what's happening a very good example of this is I have actually met a lot of
Trans Men who are gay and who sleep with cis men and who are tops and they'll meet a
Person at a bar and at a club
And it'll go really great and the person knows that they're trans and then like okay. Let's go home and have sex
The cis man who is gay
almost always assumes that the trans person is a bottom and
That assumption is very strange. I've talked about this in the past about FTM topping cis guys and that's such an important thing to
Not overlook honestly because if you had that conversation you know and really actually I'm a top and I
Sleep with men who are okay with that?
And I use a prosthetic or I had Phalloplasty or bottom surgery or something like that that open line of communication
Helps so much in the event that's going to happen later on so if you have somebody in your life
That's trans and kind of struggling with this aspect of sex and how to have sex and will people ever have sex with me is
very important to show them that
It's a possibility and by that
I mean like show them videos that people like me for example who talk so openly about sex and
Talk about other public figures in the trans community who are also trans and we'll also talk about
Being so sex positive and talking about sex and sex and and really embracing their body
And I feel very empowered when I'm having sex because the partners that I have know what I like know what I want
Know what
I don't want and it just there's no like ooh
I want that are they going to touch where they're going to do that or even go do the who and then they do and
You like really ruining it to do I tell them stop have the conversation before it makes everything so much easier
and I'm talking about that with like people who are also going to have sex with trans people not just talk about trans people like
Being like hey like what you like. It's not always all not all right. It's not always on us to do that
It's a good thing to have a communication and if your a cis person about to have sex with the trans person it is also
Good if you want to start the line of communication should be like hey
I just want to make sure like what do you okay with and
Honestly, I feel like when cis people are aware of that and like ask and have an open communication
It's so well-received and it's a wow okay. Wow this pretty much this could happen
I'm actually enough fun to be great wow. I think it's really great to do that
So I'd like to talk to you a little bit about prosthetics that trans men
non-binary
Trans masc individuals may use during sex and I'm going to show you four different ones
I have a lot honestly, and I've reviewed so many of them
I'll put the playlist in this description below so you can have a look but I'm going to show you four
main ones that have different features that
Might be good, and I'm showing you
As a partner who may want to talk to your partner about you know getting one of these because that's what they want
They don't know what to do will you have this video or if you're a trans person, and you're thinking
Oh, I don't know what you know prosthetics you use for sex. I'm going to show you four of my favorite ones so disclaimer
I'm about to show some prosthetic penises all right, so this is a
Prosthetic here that is very thin now the reason. I'm showing you this one is because on this side over here
It has ridges
So when the person wearing it is wearing it in the harness this part will actually rub on their genitals
And it'll feel really great this also has a spot here for a vibrating bullet, so this will actually feel good for her
This is vibrating for the person who is wearing and with the harness because it will rub on their genitals
And it'll also feel good for the person who's being penetrated
Because it vibrates inside
And I will link you to all of the prosthetics in the description below and this is the Fuse. quick tip very good for first
Time anal very thin very good anyways
The next one I'm going to show you is this one over here by the New York court selectively
This is the Ellis and it is uncut, and it has a very dense core, but it feels very
Realistic and it actually has a suction cup as well
So you don't even have to use this in a harness and do it with a partner
You can actually you know put this on a wall and do things with yourself and all that stuff
But this is also a very good prosthetic
It is a bit longer than a fuse that I showed you, but this is another one of my favorite ones
It's very good very realistic, and I've decided to show you realistic ones because a lot of trans men do want that
But there are also a ton that aren't realistic and are purple and have
Different patterns on them and a lot of people like that
So the next one that I'm going to show you is actually called a three-in-one
Ok prosthetic so it's 3-in-1 because you can have sex with this ok because there is a rod inside all right?
So you can penetrate someone with it, but if you take the rod out actually this is a foreign one
If you take the rod out it is a packer
So you wear this in your pants to imitate a bulb in your pants, and then you can also urinate out of it?
So there is a cup and you put it under and then the urine goes
I've made videos about all these products in this series, so I'll link those below
And I said this is a foreign one because it also has this part here that rubs on the wearer's genitals
So it actually also feels great as well, and then the final one is my favorite one
And I'm going to leave it for last because this is the one that has changed my life and my sex life forever I have
Never had such good sex in my entire life than with this prosthetic
This is called The Bono by transtetics alright, and I have done two reviews of this, baby
It looks strange like how does a harness go you please look at the video where I talk about it?
We'll be long, but this is very good because it's hard it has a vibrate so that the wear may feel the vibration
But it really it just it works well with my body, and I feel everything with it
And what's also really good with this is that it has a little reservoir at the tip so you can put some lube in there?
Or something that looks like semen and when you squirt it it comes out
Which is very realistic and a very big disconnect that I have with a lot of these toys
Is that they don't feel like me and because they don't feel like me
I don't feel like they belong to me and they don't that it's not part of me
I'm not having as much fun with this because it squirts
I don't have a disconnect this feels like it's part of my body, and that is so reaffirming so
amazing to hear so
In the reviews that I've done about this there have been actually mom that have said thank you so much for this review
I'm going to get this for my teen because they really want this which I think is really awesome
That you know that that's happened because my videos are age restricted, but I talk about prosthetic like this
Which is very sad because there are people who are under 18 who would like prosthetics, and you have dysphoria during sex anywhere
We're 2017 come on
Do you think eighteen year olds and under 18 aren't having sex like somebody was 16 17 this could be life-changing for them
So that's all I want to say for that
So the last thing I'm going to talk about is and basically talking to a trans person right now all right
Trans guy, trans woman, non-binary, squiggly line
Whatever you are doesn't matter it is okay to like your body, and it is okay to not like your body
and it is okay to be a sexual person and it is okay to not be a sexual person if you are trans and
I have met a lot of trans people who
repress their
sexuality a lot because they feel like no one will want to have sex with them and no one want to be with them and
It's very sad to see that honestly and it's just so empowering to see them
Flourish and after seeing other trans people who are sex positive, so I'm not only calling myself like the sex
God of trans people nothing at all
I'm just saying that it
Is it is amazing to see that some of the videos that I have made about sex and how open I am with sex I
get so many comments from people being like I
Is this something?
comfortable talking about
But watching your videos makes me more comfortable and unable to tell my partner what I want and what I don't want and then other
people talk about the prosthetics that I reviewed and they feel more comfortable in their bodies and other people talk about how they're
Asexual and they're not going to have sex but the videos still open their mind to a world that
They're not a part of it is very interesting so I think that
Me being so open to sex and talking about sex positive things and not being ashamed at all about sex because you shouldn't be ashamed
even if you're trans and even if you have dysphoria
You can still have sex I have bottom dysphoria sometimes and honestly it's very bad
But yet
I still enjoy being penetrated in that area because it's my body and I like the feeling and I feel empowered when I'm
Okay with my body even if I have dysphoria. All right that's all I have for sex.
I mean, that's not I could say a lot more about this topic, but we'll keep it short for this video
I hope this helps a little bit
I touched on a little bit of subject if you have any questions, please let me know in the comments below
I'll put links that I talked about in this video everything down there in the description, and I will see you guys later
Thank you so much for joining me. I'll see you for another episode soon. Have a great day. Bye
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