In 1969 the first human flew to the moon
and Matthy is telling me he can't rope-skip 50 times without fail.
Again! - I can't.
In 'Training with Touzani' I will test your fitness and technique.
Usually I am a nice person, but as a trainer I can go crazy.
I hope this guy came prepared, otherwise he'll regret it.
My guest today is...
I'm Matthy and as you can see I came well-prepared.
So what are we gonna do?
I feel fit, come on, let's go.
What a guy, he's asking what we're gonna do
I clearly explained to him... - No, you didn't tell me anything.
Did I mention Training with Touzani? - Yes, you did.
But you're going to a wedding today?
- Yeah, I'm getting married. I invited you, but you couldn't come.
Listen, I take this training seriously, I hope you do too.
- I'm really starting to see another side of you.
I'll take it seriously. Yes, sir. Yes, trainer.
That's how I like to hear it. It's time for FC Gun Iets.
You could win these very cool boots worn by Justin Kluivert.
And this... is the winner.
Do you also want to win a giveaway?
Then you have to do two things: First, subscribe to this channel
Second, leave a comment below with your opinion on this pretty boy.
- Everybody'll say: cunt, cunt, cunt.
Maybe we should beep that. Beep, beep, beep.
I thought you meant cut. - Yeah, like cutting with scissors.
Or cat. C-A-T.
Listen up, how can I take you seriously? You're dressed like...
- I didn't know what to wear to a training.
You're wearing a... I don't even know what this is.
- It's from the Zeeman.
You're wearing skinny jeans.
- You're wearing skinny jeans too.
Under my training pants.
Look at this, I'm prepared. It's a thermo something.
And socks from the market.
- I'm ready.
That's my ritual.
That was his ritual, but after the training he'll be broken.
Let's put you to the test.
How's your technique? - Very good as you know
We're on the same level.
Really? - No.
You're supposed to make me better, that's what trainers do.
I'm gonna make you better. Are you sick?
Are you strong? - No, my muscles are sore.
I played bubble football, so my muscles hurt.
It's not an excuse, but my muscles are sore.
I asked how strong you were. - I'm not.
I thought you were a small guy.
Did you see that? I pushed him to...
Look at that. Balance.
- That's true.
Sorry, I have a... - Yeah, you're sick, I know.
I was so sick I didn't even go to the doctor's.
Can you see that? That's crazy.
It's time to start training, but what do we always begin with?
A warming-up.
My hair goes up and down.
Time for a few stretching exercises.
Come on.
You're such a weirdo.
On the post!
- That doesn't count.
I'm tired. Are we done?
He's tired of his own warming up.
Let's continue, how was your technique again?
- Good, great, excellent, exquisite.
How many stars? - Two. Out of ten.
Let's aim for three stars today.
Do you have faith in me? - I couldn't wish for a better trainer.
Good. So what does dribbling mean?
Walking with the ball. - And then what?
And the ball has to come with. Tiki taka.
We're not at Tiki Taka Touzani.
During a dribble you touch the ball with every single step.
Do you understand? - Yes, I understand.
Touch the ball on every step.
We're going to middle circle and you have to dribble on the white line.
The ball has to stay on the white line, you also have to face two slaloms.
With both your right and your left foot.
Ready, steady, go!
I'm gonna be honest with you.
Your right foot is on point.
Rock solid.
But your left...
I want to see how well you can control the ball.
The only tip I can give to you: never use your left foot again.
It's hopeless.
I'm serious.
And you're not helping me? You're a shit trainer.
No, a trainer can tell you what your strong and weak points are.
Maybe I'll just have to be Robben. But then with my right foot.
I'll probably soon be bald as well.
Why? - I'm not telling.
50,000 likes? - Yeah.
Let's test your control. I won't kick the ball very high.
I'll just throw it.
- With my right foot?
Just control it with your right, we're not using your left ever again.
Come over here.
Over here. Here. - Yes, bossy.
Can I have a treat now?
You're scared of dogs, right? - Don't talk so much, pay attention.
So if you control the ball in a match, you're gonna play keepy uppy?
I have to give a show, right? - Only Denilson did that, check this out.
It's good that you can do that, but I just want to see you control the ball.
I thought it was my turn.
I'm sorry, trainer.
I'm on the pitch with this fool that doesn't listen, come here.
Look at his ears, such tiny ears.
Tiny ears. Shout out to people with tiny ears.
Small ears and he can't listen. I hope he is able to control the ball.
Are you ready?
Do you think I'm annoying? - No, you're a sympathetic trainer.
Control it.
I kicked it in your hands.
That was good, right? - Yeah, it was okay. One star.
I want to see what tricks you got up your sleeve.
- The akka.
Wow, he knows the akka. What else?
- Feint.
Feint?
- Or the Cruyff turn.
The Cruyff turn?
- Beautiful.
And an Around the World?
- Only if I take off my pants.
Yeah? Take it off. - No.
I used to be able to do this. Wait.
I'm scared I'll rip my pants.
I used to be able to do it. I'm not flexible enough anymore.
Aargh, everything goes wrong.
Delete that video.
He wanted to do the akka. I only saw the ak...
But the ka, I didn't see it.
- Can I try it once more?
I saw the ak, now show me the akka.
Nice.
How do you go past a defender? - I mainly use body feints.
Try to dribble past me. Start over there.
The feints of Matthy a.k.a Fifalosophy.
Again. No one saw that.
Wait, I have to think of one.
- You still have to think of one?
Do you also think during a game?
No, I always use this one, but I'm not flexible enough anymore.
I hate this game!
Okay, this is the trick I always use in games.
I'm gonna teach you a trick. - On my level? One star.
The mousetrap. Do you know it?
I'll know it when I see it. - Of course you know it.
This one.
I want to learn that. I want to know it.
It's not really to go past a player, it's more of a feint.
You're going to try to do the mousetrap.
- Oops, I burped.
I burped. I'm sorry.
He says that he burped, but I smell a fart.
- It always goes the other way with me.
Ball under your left foot. 10 push-ups if you nutmeg me.
10 push-ups if you nutmeg me. I'm not joking.
Still funny? - Yeah, it was worth it.
Do you go over the ball? Like this?
Like this?
Show me.
You're just rolling it backwards now, not even that.
That's how soft you do it.
You have to roll it back harder. Have faith in yourself. Like this.
Roll it back, scissor, like that.
- Okay, faith.
Shit. Don't be scared.
Next to your body.
- Too hard.
Not that hard.
You first have to do the feint.
- When do I have to do that?
Immediately? - Yeah.
I'll do it in slow motion first. I can't go back that far.
Like this. Shit.
I can't get my head around it.
I really can't.
This is not on my level.
Listen, I don't have all day. You have to start taking it seriously.
VVBasVV is coming in a while, so I will just kick you off the pitch.
He can do the Akka 3000. - Can he?
I'll try it in slow motion again. That's step one.
Like this. Like this. Fuck.
- We'll get there. I can see it.
Try to be relaxed. Your brain has to connect with your feet.
Step by step. You first use your feet and then your brain.
- Okay, watch this. Watch this.
No, I'm talking to you. No. No. No.
This guy...
If I talk, you have to be quiet. - Yes, boss.
You're fake. Bad. Completely crazy.
With your jokes and all. But you're never serious.
I have faith in you. - "Ik hoef niet te denken, schat"
What did you say?
Don't you know that video?
Look it up, you'll probably know it.
That's how strict you were talking.
Like the guy in that video. I really don't feel comfortable with you.
Listen, I believe that you will be able to do that trick in a correct way.
Do you want to see what you can do to people when you know this trick?
Yeah. - Check this out.
He broke his leg.
- His hamstring.
Try to be relaxed. We'll do it together. As one.
Let's go back a little, so the viewers can see.
That was cool.
We're not gonna continue practising, Bas will be here and then you'll have to go.
Seriously, if you want to do the mousetrap and really faze someone
It's important that you move your body down.
If you do it like this, the ball ends up here.
But this is what happens if you go down.
- Then you really make people think that you lost the ball.
It's all mental.
Are you happy with this trick? - Yes, I'm happy.
Are you gonna keep practising? - I think it's one of your best tricks.
You can impress anyone with it. Maybe I can even impress a girl.
Didn't you have a girlfriend? - No.
Do you know how to head the ball? - Yes.
He heads it like this. What's that? - I'm scared.
Other leg.
- How did you do that?
I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna count quicker.
To boost his confidence.
Applause for this pretty boy.
He's had the best trainer, but can he also head in a cross?
- Bad hair day.
After he's done relaxing, we will test his fitness.
But first, enjoy the show.
- Did I sing out of tune?
I'm now gonna test Matthy's fitness. Are you ready? Steady? Go!
I'm hitting all those yellow things. - Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.
If you touch my ladder once more, because it has to be one piece for Bas later
10 push-ups if you touch it once more. - But that's not fair, your feet are smaller.
10 push-ups if you touch it again.
He wanted to be cool in his skinny jeans.
Come on, we're not done yet.
Give me two more.
He's panting so much.
Come here, you touched the ladder. 10 push-ups over here.
No. - Yes, 10 push-ups over here.
Apart from the fact you could use a tan, you should train more.
It will make you look healthier.
This guy. Savage.
Hurry up. 10 times. Come on.
What a mediocre execution.
More push-ups, but now with the ball in your neck.
I can't.
Excuse me? - I can't do any more push-ups.
He says that he can't, that's impossible.
In 1969 people landed on the moon, and you're telling me you can't do a push-up?
People flew to the moon in 1969, and he can't do 10 push-ups with a ball in his neck?
Funny story, my dad was born in 1969 and he's called Maan.
No joke. True story.
His dad is called Maan and was born in 1969.
If you're responsible for Matthy's Wikipedia page, put it in.
Here. Put in your neck.
- The ball flew away.
He's trying to be funny.
If you drop the ball, you have to start over.
So you can keep on laughing, or you can take it seriously.
- I can't.
"I can't" doesn't exist. In 1969...
Lift your head up.
Okay, come on.
He's already shaking.
You don't have to go that far down.
5 more. Focus, come on.
Two more.
Thumbs up for Matthy.
No. - Here you go.
These are heavy.
Be gentle with me, everything hurts.
People'll think I'm the biggest pussy ever, that's true.
50 times. If you fail, you start over.
- My pants. My pants.
Nice. You can start over.
He wanted to be cool with his jeans. No belt. Oh, you do have a belt.
A belt as big as the equator.
I lost my normal belt, so I took one from one of my suits.
I wasn't planning on showing it. - It's like the blue belt in karate.
Out of my way. - Action!
Again.
That counted as one.
I can't. I really can't anymore.
"I can't" doesn't exist. They already flew to the moon in 1969.
And Matthy is telling me he can't jump 50 times without fail?
Again.
- I can't.
"I can't" does not exist.
Oh, I don't have a watch.
It's your own fault.
Coming here in his cool outfit. Thinking he's Mr Swag.
But he doesn't understand that he has to train real hard with me.
And I even cut him some slack.
He keeps laughing. Are you staying there? Unprepared.
Like I said, he's gonna regret it.
It's outrageous that you're lying there, but the last words are for you.
Touzani is the hardest trainer I've ever known.
Sweet-talker.
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