(ping pong ball bouncing)
- [Narrator] Warning, don't do what Marty does.
He's is a professional filmmaker / idiot man child.
Here's proof.
- Naruto!
Chibi, chibi!
(upbeat electronic music)
♫ Marty has an internet
♫ Marty has an internet
♫ Marty has a internet
♫ Marty has a internet
♫ Marty has a internet
(Anime sounds)
- [Narrator] Marty's always been a bit of
a fan of Japanese culture,
delving into the various installments
of the Dragon Ball franchise,
cooking an excessive amount of ramen noodles for his meals,
and feasting on said cuisine for days on end.
Now, however, Marty wants to expand his horizons
and learn more about the Japs,
absorbing as much of the culture
of the Rising Sun as possible.
- That's pretty kawaii.
- What?
- Hey, Brad, can you leave for a bit?
I need to do some taxes.
- Yep.
(furious masturbation noises)
- Oh, there it is.
Yes, yes.
No, no, no, no.
- [Narrator] Marty's extensive research
leads to what he calls an epiphany:
Everything from Japan is amazing,
and everything that isn't is utter shit.
- Naruto!
Chibi, chibi!
- [Narrator] While his previous actions
were only casual practises,
Marty begins to curse everything that is not Japanese.
This also leads to Marty developing slight tendencies
of a Japanophile, a Wapanese person,
or the word commonly used on the internet, a weeaboo.
♫ Fighting evil by moonlight
♫ Winning love by daylight
♫ Never running from a real fight
♫ She is the one named Sailor Moon
♫ She will never turn her back on a friend
♫ She is always there to defend
♫ She is the one on whom we can depend
♫ She is the one named Sailor
♫ Sailor Venus, Sailor Jupiter
♫ Sailor Mercury, Sailor M-Mars
♫ With the secret all so new to her,
♫ She is the one named Sailor Moon
Wa-at-shi.
Wa-ta-shit.
Kakk-oiiiiiiiiii.
Kakk-oi.
- [Marty] De-su.
- [Brad] Deh. - [Marty] Deh.
- [Brad] Su. - [Marty] Shoe.
- [Brad] Su. - [Marty] Shooooooooe.
- [Brad] Su.
- Wat.
- Waaaaat.
- Good.
- Ashi.
- I-shit.
- Ta-shi.
- Taish-
- Ah, ah. - Okay.
- Ah. - Ah.
- Ta. - Tushy.
(door squeaks shut)
- So, I was looking for some traditional Japanese food.
Looking for some wagashi, you know about wagashi?
Also looking for some rice, some sushi,
some traditional Japanese seafood.
All I could find was fish fingers!
(sighs)
This was made in Korea!
(knocks on door)
Brad, it's the anime.
The anime isn't it?
- Pretty good ones.
(thumps)
That one's pretty good.
- Now get out.
- Why? - Now get out.
- Why, why do I-- - Now get out.
- What? - Now get out.
- Why?
(spits)
- [Narrator] Initially, Brad believes
Marty's behaviour is normal,
and that he will eventually come to his senses.
However, after submerging himself
in the Japanese culture, Marty goes missing
and is not seen for several weeks.
After being unable to find him,
Brad attempts to contact him.
- I have to call Marty.
Um, he's been missing for a while.
(beeping)
Where, um, where have you been?
- [Narrator] After getting a call from Marty's mother,
Brad finds out that Marty has finally returned home.
However, this is not for the best,
As over the passing weeks, Marty's gone
from a normal man with a liking for Japan,
into full blown weeaboo scum.
- Um, his mom said he was home,
so I think I just came around to check.
See if he was alright.
(knocks on the door)
Arigatou
Fuckin' twat.
- Hello.
Hey, Brad.
- What are you wearing?
- Um, I'm Sailor Moon from the famous
anime franchise, Sailor Moon.
- What? - You can come in.
Watch your step.
- Why are you doing this?
- Welcome to my, um -
let me just find anime word - my kawaii room!
Sailor Moon on the corner.
- Take this shit down.
- No, leave this, uh, Sailor-
Um.
Yeah I've been watching a lot of anime recently.
- What the fuck is this?
- Um, that's my gloves.
You wanna put it on?
- No, I don't wanna--
- I'll put it on you, I'll put it.
- Why are you doing this?
- See, look, that's the anime intro.
- Your mom's worried.
- My mom?
Fuck my mom.
Um, right.
- Said you've spent hundreds on her credit card.
- Wasn't my credit card, so really.
Yeah okay, I subscribed to some hentai heaven, okay?
- It's time to stop.
- Stop what, Brad?
- This. - I am comfortable
in my own skin.
- Not in your skin, you're in a Sailor Moon outfit.
- This is who I am now, okay.
- Take it off. - If you don't--
- Take it off.
- Stop, stop that.
- Take it off!
- If you don't like me anymore
for who I am, you can get the fuck out, okay?
- Fuck it.
Leave the prick.
- See you Nate.
- [Nate] Arigatou.
- Arigatou.
Fuck you Brad.
(door slams) - Aw! Fuck.
- [Nate] Asshole.
- What? What's wrong now?
- I just love Japan so much.
(Marty sobs)
- It's okay, it's okay.
(Marty sobs and coughs)
(Marty sobs and squeals)
- [Narrator] The confrontation,while painful for Brad,
pays off as Marty eventually realises
his behavior's self-destructive.
And that he needs all the help he can
to become a better person.
- I'd like to apologise to my viewers
for my behaviour this episode.
(sad music)
Sometimes things get out of hand and
you know, I just want you to realise
that love conquers all.
I get it, my behaviour this episode,
it was self-destructive.
And Brad tried to make me realise that.
But now I do.
And that's why I'm here.
I'm here at weeaboo rehab to save myself.
But friends, I just want you to know,
my love for Japan,
my love for anime,
and my love for hentai will live forever.
Forever. (sobs)
(dramatic music) (bird chirping)
- [Brad] Twat!
(ping pong ball bouncing)
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