Overcoming Male Depression Paul McGregor's StyleCon 2017 Presentation
[0:00:00] Antonio: So, this is a subject that never
gets talked about, but male depression and it's real.
And in today's video, I've got Paul McGregor here to talk about male depression.
This was the final presentation at my Menfluential event in Atlanta, Georgia.
I can tell you it was a powerful presentation because you're in a room with over three
hundred men and we're talking about something that no one ever talks about, but it's very
real.
And it holds a lot of us back because just as we have those highs in our lives, we also
have those lows.
And as men were told don't talk about it, just hold it all in, Paul was there and he
basically he opened up about the things that have happened in his life and how he overcomes
them.
And still battles the demons and he does which is just so refreshing for guys to be able
to talk about this in a group setting.
If you're interested in learning more about Paul, I'm going to link to him down in the
description.
He's got a great YouTube channel, a great blog, and he goes into this a lot more.
But, if you want this to change your life, you want this to transform your life, come
out to Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm going to link to my conference, Menfluential formerly StyleCon.
And this conference was developed specifically to transform your life.
If you are a business owner, you own a men – a men's lifestyle business, you've
got a custom clothing shop, if you are an influencer you've got a YouTube channel,
you've got a podcast, you in a sense are targeting men, you want to engage with men,
then is the perfect conference.
You've learned from my channel, you've checked out Jose Zuniga, Aaron Marino, all
the other guys out there, then you want to come to this event because you get to hang
out with Raphael Schneider.
He is floating around there for two days.
He is a great a friend of mine.
And that's why I created this conference for.
So, without further ado, let's get into Paul's presentation.
Paul: 76% of suicides last year were men.
So everyone feels like women deal with their emotions, but are men properly dealing with
their emotions because 76% of suicides were men, so that's a huge, huge imbalance of
how many people are taking their own lives.
I'm one in four men suffer with depression, so I ask you this question.
Who – who here has suffered?
Everyone in this room has suffered.
Everyone here has got anxiety.
Everyone here has had stress.
Everyone here has maybe known someone who's been depressed, but how many of you guys have
openly admitted that that's the case?
Yeah?
Now, the one thing that really surprised me on the grooming panel was when they said,
"Come up and we'll see what you can do to improve yourselves," and about a third,
if not half of the room, stood up and put themselves in such a vulnerable situation.
If you guys didn't do that, I was nervous, but as soon as you did that, I thought this
is the right audience for me to talk about it, okay?
If you guys didn't do that, I'd probably be crying on this stage right now because
talking about this story is still quite raw for me and you know when I was practicing
it, I was crying like a baby, so I'm very, very lucky that I haven't cried yet.
The main thing I want to get at is I've been there.
I fear that I'd end up like my dad and my biggest fear is that I still would.
Now, it's really the light doesn't make me look great in any of these photos, but
that photo of me on the left is three months after my dad took his own life.
Believe it or not, I'm on a lad's holiday like a boy's holiday.
We went, sixteen of us, to go and drink beer every night for two weeks in an island and
just literally go clubbing every night.
How happy do I look?
I don't look very happy at all because I wasn't, but the reason was I was a man.
Everyone said, "Are you okay?"
I said, "Yeah, I'm fine.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I'm fine.
I'll move on.
I'll go and work.
I'll run a business."
I will keep myself busy to show that I'm okay, but in reality, I wasn't.
This photo was a lot more recent when I've gone through a huge transition, I feel a lot
better about myself and I wanted to come share with you what I've learned on that progress.
So, here's a photo of me and Antonio in Ukraine.
I thought I'd include that in there for a little bit of social proof.
The main thing is to know that it's okay.
If you feel down, if you feel stressed, if you feel worried, the main thing is just to
know that you can accept it.
It's seriously human to feel this way.
I was speaking to one of the guys yesterday and I said if someone tells you that they
never have a bad day, they're lying.
Yeah?
Call bullshit on them because everyone has bad days.
Tony Robbins, all of those gurus, all of those self-help guys would still have bad days.
So, you need to know that it's okay if you don't feel in a place that you should be
feeling.
The first thing that you guys need to do is if you do relate to this and you do feel down
and you do feel depressed or you don't feel as fulfilled as you may do, be self-aware.
You want to be questioning yourseves all the time.
The best word that you can use is why.
Why do I feel like this?
Why do I feel like this?
So if someone comes to me now and they say, "I want to dress better," I ask them,
"Why?"
They say, "Oh, because, you know, I want to get compliments.
I want to get attention."
Okay, "Why do you want to get compliments and attention?"
"Oh, I got bullied at school."
That's what you need to know.
You need to be more self-aware into why you're feeling the way that you are.
[0:05:10] Don't bury your emotions.
Every man, like I did when I lost my dad, buried it.
My dad's breakdown happened overnight.
He went from a happy guy, so he fought with everything in his path to someone who took
his own life in the space of — or attempt in his own life in the space of two weeks,
and that's because he buries emotions.
If you bury your emotions, they'll resurface.
It's as simple as that.
They'll either resurface physically, making you ill, or they'll resurface and put you
in a mental state that maybe you're depressed or maybe you have that breakdown, so do not
bury your emotions.
Deal with them straightaway.
The other thing as men that we like to do is we like to replace it with short-term fulfillment.
We love cars, we love clothes, we love going out clubbing, we love getting drunk.
All of that's fine, but if you're using that to mask those emotions and you're not
dealing with them, they will come back.
One of my mentors said that we're all victims of victims.
What I mean by that is the conditioning that I have has been passed down by my mom and
dad.
I don't blame my mom and dad for the way that I was, but the conditioning that they
had has been passed down by their mom and dad, so we're all victims of victims and
it's important to understand that.
And, Ryan Michler spoke about this, know your why.
As soon as you know why you're here, as soon as you have a purpose, you have more
motivation, you are more willing to live, you are more willing to get up in the mornings.
You are more willing to work on your business, to go and exercise.
So you need to know what your purpose is and you need to know your why.
The second thing is once you become self-aware and you understand your feelings, you need
to handle it.
Now, everyone's different.
All that I care about is that you handle it.
You can talk to someone, you can fight, you can cry, you can shoot guns.
Maybe don't shoot someone because that might put you in a little bit of trouble, but you
can do it in any way that you want as long as you deal with it.
So, all of you guys here may be different in terms of the way you deal with your emotions.
The thing that I don't like with a lot therapy is they try and get everyone to open up and
talk.
Not a lot of people want to talk, a lot of people deal with it in different ways.
Okay?
Every man is different.
But all that I care about is you deal with it, it doesn't matter how you handle it,
just make sure that you do.
And the other thing that I wanted to say is that you're all one step ahead if not ten
steps ahead of everyone else by being here today.
You've invested in yourself.
You've gone to an event that a lot of men will not dare to go to because it's completely
out of their comfort zone.
So, you're already one step ahead by investing in yourself, so continue to do so.
Antonio: All right, gentlemen.
That is the tip of the iceberg because that was only a small clip of what Paul talked
about and presented.
You had to be there in person and that's what I want.
I want these video clips of what we've done at Menfluential formerly StyleCon to motivate
you to come out to Atlanta because maybe you've been following my channel for years, maybe
you've been following Aaron Marino, maybe you've been following Jose Zuniga.
These guys have helped you transform your life.
Maybe you want to meet Brock McGoff over at Modest Man.
You want to meet Baron over at the Effortless Gent.
These guys all come to my event.
Why?
Because they want to meet men just like you who are using their information to improve
their business, improve their lives, basically transform and become the man they know themselves
to be.
I invite you to come to Menfluential 2018.
It's in Atlanta, Georgia this February.
Guys, I'm going to link to it down in the description.
That's it.
I'll see you in the next video.
[Music] [0:08:46] End of Audio
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