everyone finds a way to be significant
most people find a way to be significant
by having a significant problem why
because if I'm really successful you
might like me for a while but after a
while most people get annoyed with
someone who's always happy and
successful easy for you who knows what
I'm talking about here raise your hand
right but if you got big-ass problems
who's gonna be upset with you you're not
competing with them you have huge
problems ago I understand but if you're
doing really well it's like easy for you
so most of us
unconsciously learn to create big
problems as a way to connect because
it's the safest way to connect and not
be rejected some of you do it like she
does by trying to please everybody all
the time thinking if I please you enough
then you'll come to me you'll give me
what I'm really wanting to which is what
she wants but it doesn't work that way
it works sometimes but not all the time
and not even the majority of the time so
anyone can feel connection and love you
can do it through prayer you can do it
through good gifts you can do it by
dressing special you can do it by having
big problems the only question in life
is not whether you're going to meet your
needs the only question is how and is it
obtainable or sustainable is it
empowering neutral or negative and if
you want to change your life will tower
never laughs but when something meets
more of your needs
it's effortless if you want to know what
the biggest addiction is in our culture
it's not alcohol it's not some form of
prescription drug it's not an illicit
drug it's problems because problems
allow us to try to deal with our deepest
fear that we're not enough and we won't
be loved by saying it's not me it's this
problem it's just I have ADHD it's just
that I've been through this it's just so
most people meet their needs through
problems when you get in certain states
you think one thought when you get
another state you think another thought
it's like turning the channel and so
what I really show people how to do is
how to turn the channel so that you're
not suffering and you're living in
we'll stay but what does it take let's
just quickly say it number one it takes
acknowledging what's your favorite
flavor of suffering is it worry is it
stress is it anger is it loneliness is
it boredom is it overwhelmed and then
noticing one of the thoughts that
trigger that and realizing it doesn't
matter how much money have those
thoughts can still make a billionaire
crazy and frustrated and overwhelmed and
so what I show people to do is a process
of how to let go of those thoughts and
we walk through that of the book in
detail but fundamentally it starts with
making the most important decision of
your life which is if I would ask me up
until two years ago I would have said to
you spend time with who you love because
who you spend time with this who you
become I think it's a I think it's still
one of the most important decisions in
life but you can pick the right person
and still do things and you had to make
yourself miserable so you really have to
decide the most important decision is do
I want to be happy will I commit to
being happy more important than happy
sometimes you'd be so happy to smile so
much your face hurts right any variety
am I committed to living in a beautiful
state even when it doesn't go my way
even when it rains on my parade even
when my biggest fear shows up because I
can't control whether you're husband and
wife will live or die or get sick or
leave you or get a divorce I don't want
any of that to happen any human day I
hate suffering I do anything I can't
help people's not suffer but I can't
control that
you can you can there are people have
lost their arms lost their sight there
have been people that have been through
the most horrific experiences life and
they found a way to still be happy
because they've made the decision that
life is too short to suffer I've
interviewed dozens and hundreds over the
years but dozens that like have impacted
my soul that made me realize I can't
change this I've just gotten used to it
I bought into the theory that this this
survival software that's constantly
running and making you suffer
that that's normal no that's what the
will do and mine has been around forever
what I'm gonna do is something different
and the way I get out of suffering I
gave myself a 90 second rule it's really
simple
I say look I feel myself starting to
feel that stress feeling that pissed-off
Miss or upsetness or concern or worry
but my kid whatever I realize that's not
gonna make it better life's too short to
suffer and then I just kind of breathe
slowly slow everything down that crazy
thought so every said I thought I'm
gonna kill that son of a bitch right and
then you don't kill them cuz you don't
believe that thought it's the thoughts
that are stressful that you believe that
mess you up when you question them you
break the pattern and then the last
thing besides the 90 seconds and by the
way rich should be honest in the
beginning you should have been like for
our role maybe afford a rapport I was
not very good
waiting yes but what's nice is the morof
dentist like a muscle the more I've
trained myself to do it I can
authentically tell you now it takes a
lot for something to take more than 90
seconds for me now and the level of joy
surpasses all the money you could ever
have in a million years and then the
money it's easier to make money because
you're not attached you don't have the
fears you don't have the scarcity that
people have because you feel so rich
already right now I always some people
don't wait to be rich
what is that richness it's abundance joy
it's happiness it's contribution it's
getting out of yourself because as long
as we're thinking about oh my god I lost
something or you did something I have
less love less respect less money if I
think loss less or because you did
something or because I did something I'm
never gonna have what I want in my life
lost less than ever those three thought
patterns they're the source of all
suffering and they have to go see it for
what it really is
no it's BS and find something to
appreciate
you know a lot of times people do read
body language they do read people they
know what's going on but they don't do
much about it because they've kind of
they've gotten used to it I always tell
people you get what you tolerate and if
you go to meeting and everybody's on
their cell phone while you're talking
about something important and you just
let that continue pretty soon the
meetings are a total waste of time so
what I really believe is when you read
something gonna act on it you've got to
do something you can't lead other people
if you're the one on your phone in the
middle of eating either right so you got
to lead by example
you've got to not tolerate within
yourself or other people things that
don't support what you are and you guys
when you see there's a challenge you
seen there's something that's not
congruent they're saying one thing and
they're feeling another you got a
Metacomet so tell me more what's really
going on if you get in the habit of
doing that then you're never gonna be
bored in a business meeting again first
of all people get bored because people
are just saying the same things over and
over again they're managing their
business they're managing their life
they're not innovating they're not
creating they're not digging deep
they're not pushing each other when you
get a culture of people and all it takes
is one where our leader steps in and
they will not settle for a half-assed
answer and they can be playful they can
be funny they can be warm they can be
direct they can be crazy about it but
they keep probing you're gonna get to
what's real and when you get to what's
real that's when you start creating
breakthroughs in business and in life
[Music]
there is another level the only reason
you keep sitting there isn't as you feel
so exhausted about where you are but
life the universe or God is just testing
you because there is another level if
this is good
giant jump to excellence Giants start
good poor to good to excellence there's
a level where all your dreams are
realized there's a level that you've
always dreamed that it is real it has
not gone away but it takes that extra
burst when you think there's nothing
left there's no way you've tried
everything ten million times and you
keep going it's almost like God is
saying if you keep hitting this wall
enough times I will see that you will
not stop that you were filled with that
level of determination faith and courage
and then the door opens and you get to
that next level but most people don't
know is the next level is just and it's
called outstanding ladies and gentlemen
outstanding what's it called what's it
called what's it called outstanding
magnificent unstoppable extraordinary
not excellent it's a different level
it's a level where you are not one of
the best you are the best you know
what's amazing you only have to be two
million is more than everybody else and
you get everything you get the joy the
last days are fought in the family the
passion the economics the freedom the
spirit it's all there what Jerry Maguire
called
the quad baby all of it and it's just to
milanese above and most excellent people
give up because they're exhausted and
there some people go the harder I hit it
the more I hit it sooner or later it's
going down I'm not stopping and when you
do that enough it pops open this could
be the greatest time you ever live if
you control what you focus on if you
find a more empowering meaning and if
you decide to model the actions of those
who succeeded before you it can be the
best financial time the best emotional
time that a spiritual time of your life
but you better take control of your
state and if you think you're gonna do
it just by today you're wrong you're
gonna need to get yourself some rituals
right now every one of you this room is
controlled by your rituals
I don't just mean this one I mean every
morning you get up I know your body I
can look at your body right now and I
can guess your rituals some of you your
rituals to work out five times a week I
can see it clearly four to six times a
week it's obvious because you couldn't
look like that if you didn't do that
some form of workout okay if it's
walking lifting whatever some of you
it's obvious that lifting weights as
part of you can see by that man's
muscles I know I know what his rituals
are because your life comes from your
rituals but you don't develop the ritual
you're kidding yourself
how many'd abused me on this raise you
can't say I and there are rituals to put
you in state and their rituals to take
you out of state you have rituals in
your relationship you have rituals with
your body you have rituals around your
finances and the rituals that worked in
the reaping time of fall and the markets
and in business and in real estate those
rituals won't work now if you do the
right thing at the wrong time you get
pain I'll say that again if you do the
right you go but I'm doing the right
thing but I'm not being rewarded if you
do the right thing it's the wrong time
you don't get rewarded you get pay so
you better do the right thing at the
right time and to do that you better
know what season you're in to do that
you better learn how to change your
state how to take control of your own
conditioning that's what I live for
does this make sense to you yes or no
come on guys yes or no so now it's time
to train yourself to do that I'll show
you how fast it can change try this just
for a second I want to show you what you
can do with just focus try this for a
moment I'm gonna give you a test sit up
in your chair with some energy
make sure buddy next using a strong
state if otherwise adjust their state
come on change your physiology what are
they gonna do see if they're ticklish
that might help now do this I want to
look around this room right now and find
everything in this room that you can
find that is brown as fast again with
the brown look for brown look for brown
look around look around you look for
brown look for brown look for brown okay
close your eyes I'm gonna give you a
test with your eyes closed now shout out
loud everything you saw that was red if
you see a lot more Brown right now than
red say yes open your eyes look for red
now I want you to really look for red
look for rad look for red look for red
anything exciting it's rad look for rad
around you
for red these are him if you feeling
more at this time and say aye
why did you find more red this time cuz
seek and you shall that's right
whenever you focus on you're gonna find
it in fact let me tell you something
you'll even find it when it's not there
how many saw burgundy called it red just
so you can have more things you counted
raise your hand say ah come on see
whatever you're looking for you're gonna
find so if you want to change your life
my friends you gotta change your
physiology and you gotta change your
focus by the way how fast can you change
that stuff how fast my friends how fast
how fast come on and a heartbeat once
you reach Ange you're conditioning it's
all you got to do ain't gonna fast you
do it a question or two try this right
now answer this question in your mind
and be honest what in your life today if
you wanted to be could you feel proud
about right now if you want to feel
proud if you feel like I shouldn't be
proud if you want to feel proud what
could you be proud of in your life today
your children your health your body is
there a problem you faced and instead of
running from it you finally stepped up
and handled it you feel proud of in your
life today if you wanted to feel proud
how many could bigger something and when
you think about this thing you're proud
of what about that makes you feel proud
what do you focus on that makes you feel
proud how do you breathe when you really
start to feel proud that's what kind of
look on your face starts to happen when
you let yourself feel proud
think of another area life think of your
life that you're grateful for or you I'm
not grateful if you wanted to be
grateful what's an area you could feel
grateful for okay feel grateful for if
you really wanted to feel grateful how
many good think of something you can
feel grateful for these words your hands
and what about that are you grateful for
what do you focus on that makes you feel
grateful how's it feel when you're
really truly feeling filled with
gratitude here's one if you wanted to be
excited about your life right now and
you're willing to be excited you want a
book everybody else's trend what could
you feel excited about in your life if
you wanted to feel excited what could
you get excited about if you really
focused on it and you really took it in
you weren't in a negative place what
could you get excited about if you
wanted to be excited in your life what
could you get excited about how many of
you can think of something you feel
excited about right now right yeah let
me see use your hand say I when you're
really excited about it what about that
excites you oh when you're really
excited how do you feel how do you speak
what's your life like by the way when
you're excited does it tend to touch
other people yes or no absolutely by the
way do people have a tendency but who
feels different right now they're just
even a couple moments ago raise your
hand say aye
why because focus is controlled by
questions if you ask a different
question continuously that once
continuously you will get a different
answer if you ask a lousy question you
get a lousy uncertain a lousy state
somebody said why does this always
happen to me it doesn't always happen to
you but the brains like a computer
asking a question it'll have to come up
with an answer
cuz you deserve it you idiot someone
will say how come I can never lose
weight you can't lose weight but if you
keep saying how come I can ever lose
weight the brains gotta come an answer
goes you're a pig
lousy questions create what lousy
answers ask a better question get a
better answer now here's what I want you
to get I want you to get that you can
change your stain how fast guys how fast
how fast and if you get the habit of
doing it you have a different life so
what we've got to do is make that change
in those standards that's what the
shifts happen doesn't happen any other
place and I gave you a very simple
example if you want to know the
difference in people's lives it all
comes down to one of the things that are
must view versus shuts so let me tell
you this we said to have an
extraordinary life you gotta have an
extraordinary psychology right
extraordinary psychology means you got
to live in an extraordinary state to be
an extraordinary state you got to
condition your nervous system your body
your physiology and focus to be at their
best do you agree with this yes or no
then to do that though you can do that
why doesn't everybody not cuz you can't
we all have the ability it's because of
our standards I remember of time earlier
my career is about 24 and I went to do a
seminar in Boston and those days a big
seminar for me was like 125 people there
was a three-day seminar and we worked
around-the-clock and people made such
extraordinary changes in their life at
the end of it I was feeling so fulfilled
I was thinking my god I'm 24 maybe 25 at
the time yeah I am so happy because I
have found my mission in life I'm doing
what I love it's making a difference in
people's lives this is extraordinary so
he finished about midnight on the Sunday
night and around midnight you know I'm
still wound up so I don't feel like
going to bed so I decided okay you know
let me take a walk here and I decided go
through Copley Square if you've been
through Copley Square you know it's a
pretty neat place because in Copley
Square you can look up when you can see
buildings that were here before we were
known as the United States and beside
let me see skyscrapers that are new
though it's a pretty cool place so I'm
walking around midnight on Sunday night
there's nobody in Copley Square midnight
and Sunday night but I'm walking along
and I see this guy in the distance and
he's kind of stumbling back and forth
between the gutter and the sidewalk
okay the long trench coming on his
head's down like this he's holing the
brown bag and I can start to smell a me
before I get there and I'm thinking
you know this guy's obviously drunk and
as I started get closer I thought I bet
he's gonna beg me for some money
and sure enough whatever you focus on
life tends to happen doesn't it so sure
enough he gets real close to me and I
thought all the sudden II wasn't gonna
do it all so they pop his head up was
really rid of it
mister if this really bizarre looking
sounding voice to it mister could you
loan me quarter I thought do I want to
reward this behavior and then I thought
I don't want him to suffer do you have
this dilemma sometimes like you know I'm
not here to judge so usually when I
finally decided I always just give even
the person's pulling a scam that's for
them to deal with I have the ability
then they give and so I thought but
could I teach him something so I asked
him the question back I said is that all
you want is a quarter he go yeah just
one quarter one quarter change my life
that's really so etched in my pocket and
I pull out my money club in those days I
was you know very young just starting to
succeed and my original mentor was a man
named Jim Rohn I heard of Jim Roni yeah
it's a great guy and Jim told me said
Tony look you've come from a poor
background you got a poor psychology you
got to change it he said you know any
money some pretend you do he said start
training your brain conditioning
he said ghosts leave all your money get
$300 bills and put them on the outside
of your money Club even though you only
have five bucks in between them so every
time you pull out you'll see that you'll
feel inspired you'll feel better he said
you'll feel better you'll do better so I
was like okay so I did so I put my money
clip and sure enough I got tramadol
dough so I made sure he saw the bills so
I'm tearing through that right look in
between there see if I can find some
change but I made sure he saw it sure
enough he's looking at the hundred
dollar bills checking it out I find the
quarter I pull it out take the money put
in my pocket I notice he's watching my
hand corn in the pocket I took the
quarter and I looked at him and I said
sir life won't pay any price you ask of
it but I gave him the quarter then
something really interesting happened he
took the quarter
he looked at me he looked at my pocket
you look back at the quarter looked at
me look to my pocket look at me again
looked at the quarter looked in my
pocket look back to me and said you were
weird and then he shuffled on off like
this right and I thought to myself wow
what's the difference between him and me
I mean I was 24 25 at the time doing
what I loved most have my mission in
life and he's in his early 60s drunk on
the street begging for quarters what's
the difference and I thought well maybe
God's blessed me because I'm such a good
person and he's such a bad person that's
such bull and I thought wow maybe the
answer to that question is what I just
told him life will pay whatever price
you ask of it you know what's
interesting he got to ask intelligently
and the Bible it says ask and you shall
what pretty good formula you got to look
into it but you know what it says asking
you shall receive but I'm sure it meant
ask intelligently I'm sure that's what
God meant I'm sure he didn't mean bitch
and you will receive wine and you will
receive I don't think that was the
instruction now if you can ask
intelligently there might be five
elements of that number one you'd have
to ask specifically wouldn't you
wouldn't ask in a general way people do
lost time I want more money fine here's
a dollar get out of here very often
you're getting what you're asking for
you're just not aware of how general
you're asking clarity is power the more
clear you are about exactly what it is
you want the more your brain knows how
to get there
your brain is a servomechanism it's like
a bomb those bombs those missiles they
have a similar mechanism so if the
target moves it knows what the target is
it follows it you're a brain when you
condition it knows exactly what to go
for and we'll find a way to get there
keep it by a certain outfit or a certain
car and suddenly see that car outfit
everywhere how many had that experience
say I how come that car outfits
everywhere it always was everywhere but
now you
listen and reason because there's a part
of your brain called the reticular
activating system the RAS that part of
your brain determines what you notice
and what you don't notice your brain
spends most of its time trying to make
sure you don't notice because you'll go
crazy if you notice everything but when
you decide what's most important to you
your brain goes after it
everyone I know who's successful have
builds what I call an RPM plan and RPM
is built on the metaphor that the way to
get from where you are to where do you
want to go to the fastest is you got to
build power like in a car RPMs and the R
stands for they know the result they're
after they know what they want precisely
if you don't know exactly what you want
or you let yourself get beyond that into
something general you're not gonna
achieve it clarity is power you've got
to know the specific result you have to
what do you want if you came after that
question right now in your personal life
in your body and your relationships and
your finances and your spirituality then
you're not going to be as so filled as
you want to be today we're gonna have
you answer one of those questions at
least the second part of that you got to
know P why you're doing it because you
know what you making a big goal since I
want to make a billion dollars I want
you bring peace to the earth
why cuz soon as you come over the goal
all the obstacles show up and unless you
got enough emotional drive to break
through that you're never gonna discover
what it really takes so you got to get
yourself past that nobody get past us
have enough reasons reasons come first
answers come second this man did not
know what he wanted to do not have
enough reasons to ask intelligently you
got how specifically to ask intelligent
you gotta know why you want to have
enough drive to make it happen enough
juice to make it happen if you don't
have enough reasons you will not make it
happen and the M is what is your massive
action plan
what is gonna get you to actually fall
through because the first plants not
gonna work and the second one's gonna
work so you didn't have enough plans
that the first two don't work you still
got something else otherwise you're
gonna be having excuses where I didn't
work so asking intelligently requires
that so if we're going to be
extraordinary in our results we've got
them in an extraordinary state we're
gonna know what we want we gotta go use
it
[Music]
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