("Tonight" by Carmina)
♪ Chi, chi
♪ Carmina
♪ 2004
♪ Okay, let's go
♪ I'ma take you on a trip
♪ Get ready for this ride
♪ Like what you see but you're looking from the side
♪ Give you a run sure, cuz I'm a little high
♪ (Vocalizing)
♪ Had you waiting, serve your time
♪ It's not wasted on (mumbles)
♪ Here is your reward
♪ It's something good so come get yours
♪ 'cause the getting is good
♪ (vocalizing)
- Let me remind you of something gentlemen.
You work for Slick Row Records, you remember?
- Yeah, but--
- Shut up!
We don't need excuses, we need music.
Intercepting music on the net will be worth millions,
and I want my share!
- Our share, our share.
- After we corner the hip hop market,
we go after the reggae.
Dance, country, possibilities are unlimited!
The acts you two have been sending us are weak.
I couldn't sell this stuff to a deaf mute!
- Now wait a minute, that's what you asked for--
- No, we said we need music we can sell.
Now if y'all can't use 10% of millions of dollars...
- [Both] Whoa, hey, hey!
- Wait dawg, you're talking about a lot of money now.
(both men clamoring)
- You know what?
Then I guess we have to find someone who can.
- We it! We need millions of dollars.
Plenty of money.
- Now dawg, we can handle that, it's not a problem.
- [Ed] Sorry.
- How the hell you let her come in here,
and talk all that shit to you?
You know what, Slick?
You a punk!
You're a punk and she bitched you.
You're a punk.
- Bitch my ass, I'll tell...
- That's what I thought.
- Good day, gentlemen.
- Fucking come in here and talk that bullshit, man!
What's wrong with you, man?
- You need a big hat, man, that's your problem.
- That boy got a big ass head, don't he?
- It's a huge head.
- Look like Jason Kidd son, T.J.
That boy has a big ass head right there.
- He done put like some support 'round his neck.
- She punked you though, you admit.
- She didn't punk me!
How you say she punk me?
She walk into my house talking something,
throwing something, music 'round.
- You're a bitch. - Ain't no bitching.
- You're a bitch. - Ain't no bitch here.
- Fuck you, Slick.
- Fuck you, Slick? - Ah!
Fuck you, Slick.
- Fuck you, Slick? - Ah!
Fuck you, Slick.
- Fuck you, Slick? - Ah!
- The hell you waiting for Ace?
- I can't, dawg.
I can't.
- You can't?
Ace, look man, it's $100,000 man!
- Yeah, I see the $100,000, but I can't!
- Come on, Ace look.
All the top rappers sell out a little bit on their first CD.
- I can't just stand on the sideline looking stupid,
while somebody else is getting rich
off our hard work and sweat.
- Come on, Ace!
$100,000 man!
You see this here, Ace?
You see these big ol' breasts, Ace?
You see that big ol' ass?
This can be yours, Ace!
If you sign the contract, man!
- Nigga, stay focused, nigga, stay focused!
We're smarter than that, we're smart.
We're smarter than that, okay?
- Yeah, I'm focused, Ace.
And I'm sick and tired of sitting
around here doing nothing all day, man.
I mean for real, look, we got the money now.
We got all these people trying to holler at us.
- Look, I feel you, dawg, I feel you.
It's just...
I'm not with all that, you know?
Look, I'm not feeling to give nobody
all my publishing rights.
Nigga, you know how much money we can make
if we go independent?
- $100,000 Ace!
- No, nigga, millions, dawg, millions!
Think about it though, we go independent,
we going to make millions!
Dawg, we're businessman.
- Yeah, some broke businessmen, Ace.
Well, what about this?
Look, I was reading something about the internet.
- Uh huh. - You know,
we can make money selling our songs over the net?
- See, that's exactly what I'm talking about, baby!
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
We go internet, dawg, millions!
We're businessman! (laughs)
(garage door squeals)
- Oh, here we go!
- There's my boy, there he is! (laughs)
Ace, son! - I'm so proud of you two!
- You see son, that's what happens when you work hard
and stick to something you believe in!
Good luck on the contract!
My boy! - Dad.
Dad, it's my room, man!
The fumes!
- I know you two will make the right decision!
- And remember son, a loser is a winner who quits!
- Mr. Jones, that's our boy!
- [Both] That's our boy!
- That's our boy!
- I love you, Mrs. Jones.
- I love you, Mr. Jones!
- Let's go get some waffles! - Let's go!
- See y'all later!
Remember son, a loser's a winner who quits!
- Hey, get off me, man!
- Hey, you lucky man, y'all like the black Brady Bunch!
- I think I'm adopted.
- Let's go get some waffles.
- I don't need Janet, Joe!
Fuck Michael! - [Red] Get Tito.
- Give me Tito.
- [Red] He's the one with the talent.
- Give me Tito, Randy and Jermaine.
Jermaine ain't doing shit.
- [Red] Mm-hmm! Don't want Jermaine.
- No? - Nah.
He married Randy's ex woman.
Tito the one with the talent.
- Give me Puffy.
Put Puffy, Jermaine, and Tito, no--
Leave Jermaine out.
- No, you don't want Puffy.
Puffy ain't messing with
the big ass Puerto Rican girl no more.
- [Slick] I don't give a damn!
Get Puffy, Jacky, Tito, Jermaine, get them over here!
The Jacksons need to work!
I need to make better money, goddamn.
Hey, Griff, just the man we wanted to see!
- [Griff] How you doing?
- Have a seat, Griff.
- [Griff] Okay.
- Have a seat.
- [Griff] How's it going? - Griff!
You came for us to help, didn't you?
- [Griff] Yeah. - Right?
- [Griff] Uh huh.
- And we helped you, right? - [Griff] Yes, you did.
- Gave you a job that Thomas got, right?
- [Griff] Yeah.
Hey, hey, I'm all down with that, you know?
You know, but I gotta make some money!
I'm hungry!
My wife and kids are going to leave me! (sobbing)
(Slick and Ed imitate sobbing)
- We don't give a fuck, Griff!
We all got problems.
And the problem I have right now is
I don't have any clients.
Do you know what no clients means?
- [Griff] No. - That means
pressure from the top, Griff!
Pressure from the top!
- [Red] We went to the Suge Knight School of Managing.
Graduated with honors.
- [Griff] But I thought, I would give you guys a percentage
when I closed down a deal.
- [Red] As you thought?
- And you know, close on the client.
You guys get the percentage.
- Bam! Did you read the fine print on the contract, Griff?
Did you read the fine print?
Mm-hmm, that's what I thought.
The fine print states
that all employees
of Slick Row Records
must pay us our 70% each week, regardless!
- [Griff] 70%?
- That's right, 70%.
Wife and kids are regardless.
- What are the Suge Knight three rules of music management?
- One!
- Death is a guaranteed part of life.
- Two!
- Killing somebody is assisting the Lord in his work.
- Three.
- [Both] If they can't prove it, you didn't do it.
- And I'm happy to say that OJ Simpson
was a part of our graduating class.
(Griff groans) My ass in on the line, Griff!
- [Slick] Ass on the line!
- [Red] Skinny ass, skinny little ass on the line!
- [Slick] Ass on the line!
- [Red] And if Slick Row Records kicks our ass, (laughs)
- [Griff] Wait, wait, wait!
- [Both] We gonna kick your ass!
- Now Griff, now Griff.
- [Griff] Wait, wait, I got it, I got a lead.
I got a lead on two hot rappers.
I mean they're about to blow up, I mean, blow up!
Word on the street, word on the street is
that they're hot, caliente, man!
I mean, all the clubs are pumping their tracks!
I mean, they're loving it!
- [Red] I mean, yeah we're looking for...
- I'm looking for these two hot rappers
that are about to blow the fuck up!
Where they at, you see them?
- I don't see no rappers.
- Where they at?
- I could get 'em, I could get 'em!
I got 'em in my pocket!
- Yeah okay, I'll tell you what you're gonna do, Griff.
You gonna go to Slick Row Records.
That's right, that's right.
You gonna see Mrs. Johnson.
And Ed Parker.
- That'd be Ed Koff. - Whatever.
And you gonna tell 'em,
that homey got the business.
- Homey, got the business. - Homey, got the business.
- [Both] Homey, got the business.
- Homey, got the business.
Homey, got the business, alright!
- [Ed] Bye, Griff. - Okay.
- Griff, remember rule number three!
Rule number three! - I won't forget it!
Rule number three, alright, bye!
- That boy a bitch.
- That boy a big bitch.
- That boy's a bitch!
That's right. (phone rings)
W-O-M-A-N, bitch! (phone rings)
(phone rings) (man singing)
(phone rings) - Hello?
(speaks in foreign language)
(speaks in foreign language)
- Listen, this is Griff.
- Yeah, yo, yo, son, you know, you got me at the wrong time.
- What are the two names of those local hot rappers?
You know, you spin their music in your club one time.
- Uh, yeah, yeah, Ace and Cool Breeze.
- Ace and Cool Breeze, that's right, that's right!
What's their number?
- Yo, I can't give their number out, feel me?
I can't do that, you know that.
- Man!
Listen, I got two record promoters
trying to get in contact with them.
I mean, they're big money!
- I'll tell you what,
if you got the hookup for two tickets
to the Miami Dolphins game, I'll see what I can do.
I'll have the brothers call you, feel me?
- Sweet, done, it's yours!
- Alright, (speaks in foreign language)
Yeah, mommy, show me what you're working with!
Whoa! (speaks in foreign language)
- I'm going for that sonic boom, bounce!
(Laughs)
- You play too much!
Why you don't get a Playstation anyway?
- Whatever. - Gameb--
- There goes my lady.
- There goes my lady.
- Don't be mad, get you a lady.
Let's go.
What's up, baby?
- Whatup, Ace?
- What's up?
- Why you playing down, you sign the contract?
- No. - Cool and I,
we were just thinking about that,
and we're thinking of doing our own thing.
- Uh uh, baby, I signed the contract for $100,000,
but our Mr. Russell Simmons over here,
he wants to do the independent thing.
- Oh, okay, look at my stomach, Ace.
Does this look like a watermelon to you?
No, it's not.
These are two living human beings, okay?
- Just hear me out.
Trust me, everything's gonna be fine.
- [Girlfriend] They're gonna need water.
They're gonna need food.
They're gonna need diapers.
A place to stay, milk, all that stuff.
Cool Breeze knows what time it is, right?
- Yes, I do, baby.
- Look, you two are very talented black men, alright?
But I mean, I've been patient, very patient, Ace.
And Cool Breeze and I really need this money.
Okay?
- Baby, I understand what Ace is trying to say.
I mean if we don't sell out,
there's no telling how much money we can make.
- Exactly, you see, that's exactly what I'm talking about!
- One week.
- What's that?
- That's five full days, Ace.
- What's five days?
- Don't play dumb.
- Oh, five, oh!
A week!
That's all I need!
All I need is a week.
I don't get a better offer in a week, I sign the contract.
- Deal. - Deal?
Alright!
- I want my C Baby to be happy.
- Thank you, baby.
- Five days, Ace.
- Okay, y'all have a good day now.
(car door slams shut)
- Hey, not on black people time either.
(laughs sarcastically)
(car engine roars)
- (sighs) (whispers) Think, think.
(phone rings) (mumbles)
- Hello?
- Yo Ace, DJ Volcano.
- Yo, what's up, what's up?
- What's up mi negro, what's poppin'?
- Man, Cool and Darla trying to pressure me to
sign this weak ass contract, man.
- [DJ] Well, today might be your lucky day.
- For real?
- Yeah, I got this guy, Griff, he's a promoter,
who hangs out in the club where I spin at.
And he was asking about you and Cool, son.
- Yo, yo, yo, for real, what's the deal?
- Well, you know, supposedly he got two big willies
with money backing him up.
And they looking to sign some acts, son.
- Oh shit, good looking out, dos!
- So, you know, he wanted me to give you his number,
but I said I couldn't do that,
so I told him that you would holler back at him.
You feel me?
So, here's the number, check it.
- Okay. - 954--
- Hold up, hold up, hold up!
954? (dial tone beeps)
- 5464 (dial tone beeps)
- Alright, I got it.
- [DJ] Good luck. - Alright man, thanks man!
- Alright, peace one.
- That's what I'm talking about, baby!
Yes, whew!
- [Ed] This is Slick Row Records!
What you think we work for free?
- Come on, man, all I did was ask you some questions!
- And I gave you some very intricate answers.
- And for those answers, we expect some compensation!
- We gonna call this one a consultant fee.
Now get the hell out of here!
- Let me just owe it to you, man!
- Get the hell out of here!
- Come on, Ed, man!
- What do you mean can we owe it?
- Come on!
- Get out of here!
That's how we do business around here, sexy.
(slaps) Ooh!
I'll be back, sexy.
- Hey, hey, how are you?
Hey, how you doing, miss lady?
I brought my dawgs here to meet Mrs. Johnson and Ed,
and let her know that homey (laughs)
brought the business! (laughs)
That's right!
(phone rings)
- There's a Mr. Griff here to see you
with two other gentlemen?
- What do they want?
- [Both] Homey brought the business.
(laughs)
- Well, why didn't you say so?
Send them right in.
- Okay, okay.
Go.
- Alright, we're in, let's do it.
- Excuse me, how you doing, baby?
My name is Cool Breeze.
You ever been to Aruba?
- [Receptionist] Have you?
- Girl, I own the whole island.
Let me do something nice for you.
Take you to get your nails done, hair--
- Come on man, let's go, man!
- I'm trying to talk to the...
I gotta go right now talk business,
but you hold this for me.
I'll give it to you on the way out.
- Hey, how you doing, Mrs. Johnson?
What's up, what's up?
These are the hot rappers I told you about.
Cool Breeze and Ace!
Off the hook!
- So gentlemen, have a seat.
So, word on the street is y'all the next big thing!
- Everybody knows them on the street!
Even the crackheads! (laughs)
- Do you know who we are?
- Well, let me put it to you this way.
We're the shit, stinky shit!
You can smell us everywhere!
Quite sure you heard about us.
We make money, we make money.
We make money.
- And what does that mean for you?
- (laughs) Money!
- Look, no disrespect or anything but,
what we're trying to do is produce our own thing.
You see, we got labels hollering at us every single day.
- I know, so why should you give away all your publishing,
give away your masters, and sell millions of records
making someone else's pockets fat,
and all you see are a few pennies, right?
Well, that's where we come into the picture.
Do you know how many people we know
who get rich off of these crooked labels?
- Kylie, could your fine ass
bring these gentlemen a contract?
- What we wanna do for you is we wanna produce your CD.
We'll put it out ourselves, put you in the best studios
with the best producers.
- Get some hot women, get the hot women!
- Man, forget the hot girls, we're about--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, forget about the girls?
Is there something you're not telling me about this act?
- You two are not riding doggy style, are you?
- You don't bumpity, bumpity, bump?
- Hell no! - Hell no, man!
We just all about getting that money, that's it.
- Just checking, just checking.
Damn, Kylie.
Always make me so smart. (Kylie laughs)
- You are welcome, Ed.
Oh, my God!
That rhymes with head! (laughs)
- See, now you're staring too hard.
Keep your eyes to yourself.
Now take a look at this.
- Okay, see fellas, this is what I'm saying.
This is how we move.
- So hold up, so how do we cut things up?
(Ed and Mrs. Johnson laughing)
- How we gonna cut things up?
- Let's give them the specials deal.
88/12 split. - What, are you crazy?
We got an offer from P. Diddy and Bad Boy Records.
- P. Diddy is a wannabe pretty boy.
Ugly people rule this world.
Think about it, President Bush, Donald Trump,
Bill Gates, DC Ko!
Does he have any money?
But, you know what I'm saying.
Russell Simmons, ugly and rich!
- But, you guys aren't, I mean, y'all ain't that ugly.
- But I'm a bitch when it comes to making my clients money.
(whispering)
- 60/40. - What?
- We will do everything.
Promotion, studio time, marketing, distribution of your CDs!
- [Ed] 60/40?
We can't make a living on that!
So, we won't see a dime of that money.
- Trust me on this one, we're going to invest
at least $250,000 in your project.
And what we guarantee is a deal with a major
with at least 100 grand upfront money for you.
- Now in order for us to see a true commitment
from that author that we expect to get
to guarantee our money, is 10% up front.
It's just a sign of--
- Wait, how much?
- 10%? That's $25,000!
- Look gentlemen, time is money.
And if you're not with it,
then we have things to do.
- Look, wait a minute, all we got is $15,000.
It's all we got.
- You know what, negroes is always on welfare!
We've gotta go.
- [Mrs. Johnson] Wait a second.
Look, my brothas, being that I like you so much,
this is what we can do.
How much did you say you had again?
- $15,000.
- So, what we're gonna do is,
we're gonna take this as a down payment.
We can get started on cleaning up your masters,
and when you come up with the other 10 grand,
then we can get things rolling.
So, come back in one week with the rest.
- Alright!
Wait, hold up, now is that five or seven days?
- Five.
- Let's go, come on.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- I don't know, baby, this shit sounds too good to be true.
- Well, don't worry about it.
I got this, you worry too much, baby.
- I don't know, I've never heard
of no Slick Row Records before, you know what I'm saying?
It just sounded so slick.
- See, you ain't got nothing to worry about.
You know why?
Because it's ran by a little old white woman.
- Exactly! (laughs)
- The white people lie, too!
- Exactly, baby, white folk lie.
And black folk are slick!
It's just natural.
- The hell are you saying?
- That's why we got Jheri curls.
- Exactly. - Whatever!
- He can't dance.
- No ma'am, (yells) no ma'am, look I'm sorry,
but it's out of my hands.
Listen, I said it's out of my hands!
Why can't you understand me?
Listen very clearly, you dumb psychotic idiot!
(yelling) It's out of my hands!
(phone slams)
(yelling) And don't call here anymore, mother!
Was just my mother.
We really love each other very dearly.
So, how can I help you today?
- Yeah, uh, my name is Ace Jones,
and I wanna know how do I go about getting a loan?
- Oh, really?
So, let me get this right.
You want to know how can you get a loan?
I see we have the same last name, Mr. Ace Jones.
That's funny, I've never seen you at any
of my family reunions. (laughs)
Ace, I like that name.
My Ace, my number one, my Ace in the hole!
Who's he? Your Ace moomba-goomba? (laughs)
$10,000 is a whole lotta asking for a brother named Ace.
What type of collateral do you have
to secure this loan, Mr. Ace?
- Collata-What?
- Collateral, you have something of value
to secure this loan.
- Oh yeah, we got about
$50,000 worth of studio equipment.
- Studio equipment?
This is a bank, not a pawn shop.
It's for, you know, recording music.
You see, me and my partner here,
we're trying to secure a record deal.
- Oh, I see!
- So, what do we have to sign to get the money?
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
- Get out! (laughs)
Get out!
(Cool Breeze mumbling)
- [Radio] Hey, there's a lot of weird stories out there,
but this we call, It's Your Lucky Day.
A woman who wanted to commit suicide stepped
in front of a large truck.
The truck hit her but didn't kill her.
In the hospital while recovering,
her attorney sued the trucking company and won $10 million.
You go, girl!
$10 million?
Get hit by a truck and get $10 million dollars?
- To get hit by a truck, Ace?
That's crazy, man!
Worry about how we gonna get this money!
- Trust me, trust me, dawg.
If there's a will, there's a way.
(screams) (tires squeal)
(loud thud)
- Oh, my God, goddamn!
Oh, shit!
He ain't got no money?
Damn!
- What's wrong with you, man?
- Nothing, nothing.
- Crack kills, Ace.
- Let's go, dawg.
- [Cool] Go where?
- I don't know, let's just go.
- Yo Ace, I got it! - What?
- What don't we get a bunch of fine naked women, right?
And we get them to wear real tight clothes.
I mean so tight, you can see they areolas, Ace.
And sell t-shirts of themselves butt ass naked,
bent over like this smiling at you?
And we get them to walk into rush hour traffic, right?
With a t-shirt that says drop it like it's hot.
- Yo, man--
- Ace!
- Look, I love the idea,
but we need the money now, let's go.
- Yo, Ace!
- What's up, cousin?
- Shelley, What's up, Breeze?
- Not a damn thing.
- Why y'all niggas looking so crazy?
- Look man, we need to raise about $10,000
so we can sign with these partners.
- Alright, straight, straight.
Nigga, why you ain't call your cousin?
I can put you in contact with that Daddy T.
- Daddy, who?
- Nigga, the Daddy T, nigga!
Look at you, you done forgot your third cousin
on your father's side.
- Oh, Daddy T!
- Yeah, Daddy T, nigga!
He's a loan shark now.
- Daddy T's a loan shark?
- Yeah nigga, you need the money or what?
- Man, check this out, man.
Why don't you come on though my crib tonight?
I'm fixing to have this little NBA player hook it up.
- Alright. - Alright,
you and Breeze come on through.
See if I can hook it up, fo sho!
- [Ace] Good looking out, Joe.
- Alright, what up, fam?
Yo, my nigga, Polo,
Jay Jay.
Alright Polo, get Breeze on a drink.
Come on man, let's go call Daddy T.
- What you drinking, nigga?
- Got any Bud Light?
- Hell no. - That's cool.
What about a Corona?
- Let me go check and see.
Let me go check and see.
- Alright.
- You look like this nigga in prison.
Li'l Bit was his name.
You know Li'l Bit?
- Li'l B... No, I don't think so.
- Yo Polo, don't this nigga here look like Li'l Bit?
- Man, I was thinking the same thing.
Hey, all we got is wine coolers.
Is strawberry okay with you, nigga?
- Wine coolers?
Man, that shit is for bitches.
- Here Jay Jay, take your cooler.
- Damn!
You see Shaq dunk that ball?
- Man, I love me some Shaq.
What about you, do you like Shaq?
- Yeah, yeah, Shaq is my nigga.
- Oh, he's so big.
- Yeah, he's big as hell, ain't he?
- Man, he can dunk my balls any day.
What about you, Jay Jay?
- Hell, yeah.
Nigga, you sure you don't know Li'l Bit?
- I'm positive.
- You and Li'l Bit could pass for twins.
I love that nigga.
That's how I got this scar on my face.
I had to kill a bitch for fucking with my bitch.
Now there is some sweet hair.
- (screams) Ace!
(screams) Ace!
They're crazy, Ace!
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- We gotta go now, Ace!
- Why? - Because,
Mac there and Incredible Hulk think I'm Li'l Bit, Ace!
- Li'l, who?
- Li'l Bit, they bitch from prison.
- Now hold on man, I'm trying to handle business.
Hold on, hold on.
- Man, forget business!
I'm coming in there with you!
- Nigga, chill, chill--
Daddy T, we'll be there tomorrow, alright?
- They're on my ass, Ace!
They're out there having flashbacks and shit, Ace!
And I ain't trying to be a part of it!
I don't wanna reminisce with them!
My asshole is a virgin and it's staying that way!
Come on nigga, let's get the hell out of here!
- Come on man, it's down, bitch.
- $10,000 - $10,000 nigga!
Oh that's it, that's definitely it!
Come on, Cool.
Man, hopefully my cousin come through, dawg.
Cuz!
- Yeah, me too, later.
(laughs) What's up?
Took you long enough to come holler at cousin.
Ace!
How's your moms and pops, they coming to the family reunion?
- Yeah, yeah, they were talking about that.
- That's good to hear.
Nothing more special when family comes together.
So,
what you pimps need?
- Well, the bottom line is,
we're trying to get our CD out.
And we need about $10,000.
- Oh, well...
You gotta have something to offer me.
You can't just waltz into a bank
and ask them for some money without some type of collateral.
- Who you telling?
We been turned down four times already.
- Well, I need something of value.
Something worth my while.
- Well, we got about $50,000 worth of equipment.
- I'm not a pawn shop.
I need guarantees that a nigga's gonna pay.
Uh, baby?
Fix daddy a salad.
Ace, Breeze, something to eat?
- No, no, no, it's alright.
- If you want dough from me,
you have to secure your loan
with a body part. (laughs)
- [Both] Say what?
- For one to five G's, I'll take an arm or leg.
- Are you serious?
- I find that this method guarantees me 100% return
on all my loans.
I'll tell you what.
I don't usually do this, but since you're family,
I'll give you my favorite.
The super deluxe package.
- What's that?
- If you hate pain,
my girls will take the arm or leg
of someone you love
while you watch.
- Let's see what we got.
- If we sign this, we get $100,000.
- This is of no value to me.
- This is a guarantee that we're gonna pay you back, cousin!
- Listen!
I'll give you five days to pay me back double
the amount of money I loan you.
So, if you are getting $100,000 when you sign that contract,
why you worried?
Now,
do we have a deal?
- Hell no!
- Hold on, hold on, hold on for a minute!
What are you doing?
Listen, listen, listen!
All we gotta do is sign this contract.
We sign the contract and then we use the money
to get that T-back, man!
Look, look, look!
What's five thousand dollars when we're gonna make millions?
Millions of dollars, man!
Look, all I need you to do is
put up one of your legs or arm for the other half.
- Put up one of my arms, I'm scared of pain, Ace!
How about this?
You put up both legs.
You can sill rap in a wheelchair.
- He's only giving $5,000 per person.
Look man-- - No!
- Think about Darla, the twins.
Millions of dollars.
Millions, millions.
- Millions? - Millions.
Come on, now, partner?
- Alright man, fine!
But if I lose my leg, Ace,
I'm beating your ass with my other one.
- You got yourself a client.
- Verbal agreement mean nothing to me.
I don't do business that way.
But,
since you're family,
before you leave,
you need to wear these monitoring bracelets.
To make sure that my girls can keep a location on you.
Now, before you leave,
go sign your name by the body part
you'll be using as collateral.
Allow me.
(whimpers)
- Daddy T, I'm gonna call you and let you know
that I'm taking the super deluxe special,
and I'll let you know who'll be going home with one leg.
My mamma getting old anyway.
- Ace, baby.
Oh, and Breeze.
Now, you have one week.
- Is that five or seven days?
- Five.
You have 120 hours or five days,
starting
now.
Have a nice day.
Oh, Ace.
Tell your mamma, I really love her.
(Ace chuckles nervously)
- Give me the money.
- [Ace] Some for you.
- The most important thing.
(camera clicks)
That's all we need. - Yeah, baby!
(camera clicks)
(singing)
(singing)
- Master Ace!
Yo, what's up, what's up? - What's up, baby?
How you feeling?
- I'm feeling good, dawg, feeling good.
- Ready to go make this money?
- Oh, my God, yo, big times ahead, dawg!
You ready for the ride?
- Oh for sure, today's the big day,
and we did this together, baby.
- That's what I'm talking about, together.
- Let's go get this money.
- Alright, let's go.
(singing)
- What the hell?
- Excuse me. - Yes?
- Where did our Ed and Mrs. Johnson go?
- They're gone. - Gone?
They left earlier today.
- What do you mean earlier?
- You mean gone, like gone to lunch?
- I mean gone, like I don't know where the hell they are.
- [Both] What?
- [Cool] Ace, Ace!
Look at this, man!
- Ah, damn Griff!
- Aw man, forget Griff!
- What? - Daddy T!
(knife chops repeatedly)
- Oh shit, we're gonna lose our legs!
- Damn! - Damn!
(phone rings)
(speaks in foreign language) - Hello?
- Yo, Volcano!
- [Volcano] Yo, what's up?
Man, you know where Griff at?
Nah, I haven't seen him, why, what's going on?
- Man, those promoters you were talking about, they bounced!
- What do you mean they bounced?
- Man, they're gone, man!
- Yeah well, I know where Griff hangs out in Miami.
If I see him, I'll keep an eye out for him,
I'll let you know!
- Alright, you do that!
- What did he say?
- Damn man, he don't know where they at.
- What am I going to tell Darla, Ace?
This is all your fault, man.
- How's it my fault?
- If you wouldn't have been so greedy.
Get my uncle to read this, be independent!
Independent we can make so much money!
- Whatever, man.
- Ace, there go Griff right there!
Right there, Ace!
- I'm going to whoop his Rico Suave lookin' ass, go man, go!
- It's gonna be awesome, you're gonna love it!
I wanna tell you, this gonna be fine!
(Griff screams)
- [Ace] Get Rico Suave! (Griff screams)
- Whoa, wait!
- You're gonna tell us where the hell is our money,
our tracks, Menudo!
- Okay (speaks in foreign language)!
Yo man, they were threatening me!
They threatened my family!
I mean, if I did not deliver you guys,
they would kick my ass.
- Hell yeah!
Listen Rico Suave, where the hell are they?
(speaks in foreign language)
Where they at?
(Griff babbles incoherently)
(Cool Breeze yells angrily)
- Okay, okay (speaks in foreign language)
Ah, that's it, the Bahamas, that's it.
- Listen negro, if you are lying, boy,
I'm gonna personally whoop your ass!
(speaks in foreign language)
- [Cool] Shut up, man!
(speaks in foreign language)
Let me find out you lying!
(Griff yelps and speaks in foreign language)
- What we gonna do, Ace?
- I don't believe I put up my name
to that freaky damn psycho.
(monitoring bracelet beeps)
Shit! - Damn!
- Yo Cool, hell, we gotta go to the Bahamas, dawg.
- Aight, how much loot you got?
- Hold up, hold up.
$300, how about you?
- I got, that's $20.
Hold on, $20 there...
Dammit, 11 cents.
- Are you serious?
(whispers)
- Hi, how can I help you?
- Yes, so we need to know the price
for two round trip tickets to the Bahamas, please?
- Two cheap tickets.
- Oh, you're in luck, we have a special.
- Well, that's good, 'cause this is a special situation.
- Well, on our excursion special we have a price of $314.93.
- Oh, straight! - Well,
let us get that one then.
- [Woman] And what day will you be flying?
- Oh, as soon as possible, today!
- This is based on 14 days advanced purchase, gentlemen.
Let me see what I can do for you.
Guys planning to get your freak on in sunny Bahamas, huh?
- No, we're going for business.
- Oh, business, what kind of business?
Getting on some hotties, smoking a couple of blunts?
(sighs) Let me see.
The best I can do is $1,440.11.
- [Both] Damn!
- Take me with you.
- Huh? - I wanna smoke blunts
while listening to Jaz Z under a clear open sky.
I wanna rump shake my ass while you hit it from behind!
We can work something out.
- Look, we gotta go, we don't have enough money,
so, Cool, come on, let's go.
- But I watch BET!
- Uncut? - Uncut!
- I'm gonna take your business card.
Didn't I see you on Girls Gone Wild?
- [Woman] Travel Agents Gone Wild, yes, you did!
- I knew it.
(phone rings)
Mile High Travel.
- What are we gonna do now, Ace?
- I don't know, man.
- Well, where we gonna get the money from?
- Nigga, I don't know!
(monitoring bracelet beeps)
Shit!
(monitoring bracelet beeps)
Damn!
Let's go!
- Man, $1,500, that's a lot of enchiladas, papa!
- Show him, show him.
You see this, you see this?
This bracelet around his ankle?
If we don't get the money, Daddy T's gonna cut off my leg!
How the hell I'm gonna be a rapper hopping
around on stage, man?
- And it's your fault, papi!
- My fault? (speaks in foreign language)
- Who gave us Griff's number, huh?
- I'll tell you what, papi.
I got your back, papi.
But I need my money.
You feel me?
- [Ace] I feel you, dawg.
- We got you, man.
- Alright, you need your money.
All you do is spend it on that exotic dancer in there.
- Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
- And you don't never wanna share.
Hey, let me go get her number.
- Yo, stop hating!
- Good looking out, though.
- Yeah, whatever!
Yo, I need my money!
- Yeah, okay, we got it dawg.
Bahamas here we come!
- Like Batman and Robin, we off on they ass!
(plane engine rumbles)
- Shit!
(Keep on Hustlin'" by Courage Band)
♪ Keep hustlin', keep hustlin', keep hustlin'
♪ Courage for the hustlers
♪ Keep hustlin', keep hustlin', keep hustlin'
♪ Let's do it
♪ Keep hustlin', keep hustlin', keep hustlin'
♪ Hustling time
♪ Keep hustlin', keep hustlin', keep hustlin'
♪ Keep hustlin', keep hustlin', keep hustlin'
♪ Keep hustlin', keep hustlin', keep hustlin'
- Yeah baby, yeah!
That's what I'm talking about baby!
That's what I'm talking about.
Look at this, look at this, though, fantasy island, baby!
Whoo, oh, this is beautiful.
Look at this, look at this!
- Ace, Ace! - What?
- Look man, that's the girl from the office.
- Right!
- You know what?
She got something to do with this man.
- You think?
- [Cool] Of course, she does.
We're all part of this, let's follow her.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Welcome to the Bahamas, brothers!
What's up, man?
You brothers need a cab?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need a cab.
- We gotta get my uncle, how much?
- Don't worry about that all that, just get your uncle.
We in a rush!
- [Man] Come on, follow me.
- You hugging him like you know him.
- [Ace] What the fuck was I supposed to do now?
- [Driver] Are you all looking for quality place to stay?
- [Cool] Don't worry about that right now.
We're trying to follow that cab.
- [Ace] Cool, Cool, (mumbles)
(engine roars) (tires squeal)
- [Both] Oh, shit!
(both men clamor)
(both men clamor)
- Ain't that a bitch, damn! - Damn!
What's wrong with you?
- My brand new Air Force Ones was in that bag.
- Black ass hellraiser!
- Oh hell no! - What?
- He done stole my wallet!
- Oh, now you worried?
Don't worry about no money.
- What you talking about don't worry about no money?
How are we going to survive?
- Don't you watch Survivor? - No!
- On these island there's all types of bugs,
and berries and fruits.
We can live for days.
We'll be alright.
But my shoes gone!
- You know where you going?
- No! - Damn!
Hold up!
- [Cool] I ought to kick your ass like this really.
- [Ace] I oughta kick your ass!
- [Cool] I'm hungry, I'm thirsty,
and I gotta use the bathroom!
- [Ace] Nigga, I feel you, dawg, thirsty as hell, too.
- [Cool] No, I don't gotta pee, Ace.
- Man nigga, man what you doing, man, that's saltwater, man!
- I got cottonmouth!
- The hell we gonna do for water, man?
I just thought about that juice but you gave
that homeboy our luggage.
- I didn't know the Bahamas had a desert.
I gotta shit, man.
- (mumbles) nigga!
- Aw, nigga, where you going?
- To use the bathroom!
- Nigga, you got no toilet paper!
- Fuck that!
Aw, damn.
(mumbles)
- What the hell are you doing?
- I told you nigga, you need to start watching Survivor!
You see all these bugs?
And all these bugs are little animals on this island
got vitamins and nutrients and minerals.
- Fuck this, Cool Breeze.
- You gonna die, nigga, I'm gonna survive.
I'll be damned!
Look at that, see that shit?
I got a crab!
You see that?
- That ain't no crab, man!
- Just like the song nigga.
I will survive!
I'ma survive, nigga!
Fuck that, just like the song.
(singing)
- Negro, we got no water!
- Can't eat these crabs with no hot sauce!
(singing)
That shit's hot. (coughing)
It's cool.
The hell you doing with that coconut, Ace?
- I'm exercising.
- Exercising, my ass!
Soon as I fall asleep, you gonna hit me
over the back of my head, and eat me!
- Nigga, if you don't shut the hell up,
I'm going to hit your 'do across the head
and feed your crazy ass to the fishes.
- It's only 'cause your brains, Ace,
you ain't right in the head!
(sobbing) We goin' die, we goin' die!
- Hey, what happened to your (singing)?
(Cool sobbing)
(upbeat music)
- Cool. - What?
- Cool, I think we dead.
- What? - We dead, dawg!
I think I see an angel.
♪ I'm in deep
♪ I feel the breeze
- Wait, that's the girl from the office.
♪ Eventually and her eyes to my side
♪ But if I think one first of yesterday
♪ Boy, he came around my way
- Stay cool, stay cool, here she come.
- [Kylie] Hello, gentlemen!
What are you doing here?
- I should be asking you the same thing.
Where your bosses at?
- Don't be so obvious!
- What you talking about?
Look, I need my money or my track
or somebody's gonna get hurt!.
- Listen, I can help you, if you help me.
- The hell you talking about, bitch? You ain--
- Learn some respect.
- Girl, my daddy was a pimp--
(Cool groans)
- You have anything else to say?
- [Cool] We cool, we cool.
- Listen, I've been investigating Slick and Ed
for a while now.
You are not the only two victims of their scam.
- What you talking about victims?
- Slick and Ed are ex-cons
running this game on excited dreamers,
others like yourselves,
who would do anything to make it big in the music industry.
- Wait a minute, it seemed like you were part of that scam.
You and Ed was happy when you was in the office.
- Look, I don't have that much time.
Ed and Slick are in the Bahamas,
because they know the feds are hot on their trails.
You two were their last victims.
We had been investigating the so-called promoters
for the last six months trying to bust them on racketeering
and extortion charges in over 12 states in the US.
Right as we were about to move in and make our bust,
they left the country.
- So hold up, so why you need us for?
- In order for us to bring them to justice,
we need them back on American soil,
'cause of the jurisdiction laws
outside of contiguous waters.
Once arrested, I will need for you to testify against them.
- Why the hell we should trust you?
- You don't have to trust me.
But it seems like you don't have a choice, now does it?
I have to go, but I will explain more to you later.
- Whatever.
- But I warn you,
stay out of my way.
You boys can't do this alone.
But until you come to your senses,
don't piss me off!
Enjoy the Bahamas, fellas!
- If she would've hit me again, I would've whooped her ass!
(upbeat music)
- Wait til I find that nigga that stole my money.
You all got a dollar I can borrow?
Yo, Cool, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Cool, man.
What are you doing?
- I'm eating.
What's up?
Cool, cool, I'm gonna eat first.
I got this planned, look.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom, right? (mumbles)
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna sneak out the bathroom window,
and in 10 minutes, not five, but 10,
you get up and you run.
You run like Forrest Gump outta this restaurant, man.
Trust me, it's gonna--
- Oh, hell no, man!
You sneak out the bathroom window and leave me by myself,
why I gotta run?
- Nigga, you faster than me!
- What? I am not Carl Lewis!
Either we go together or we don't go at all!
No, no, mm-hmm!
- What?
- Oh.
- Where you think you're going, boy?
- I'm going to the bathroom, if you get out my way.
- You trying to sneak out on me without paying?
- Girl, you're tripping, man.
You know who I am?
I can buy this whole restaurant if I want to.
See, me and my boy, Cool, here, we run shit.
- Who you trying to fool, boy, huh?
You know your friend ain't got no service up on this island
with that phone, boy!
- You know what kind of phone that is, girl?
Man, it's one of them phones from Japan, Konichiwa!
Look, look, look, he got really good service.
International, global.
- Let me tell you something, you're gonna pay me,
or am I gonna have to call Mamma Gree Gree on you?
- Hold on for a minute.
Cool, Cool, come here.
(Cool laughing)
- No, yo, I told him not to do this shit.
What's happening? - Man, this girl--
- Hold on, yeah, let me call you right back.
- Man, she's tripping man.
She talking about calling Mamma Gree Gree,
'cause she think we can't afford all this.
- Calling who? - Mamma Gree Gree.
- Look, call Mamma Gree Gree.
We don't care!
You know where we from?
We from - [Both] America!
- We'll come down here and vote y'all off this island.
- Boy, who you think you is?
Mamma Gree Gree, mami, come here!
- Mamma Gree Gree, bring your ass!
- [Mamma] What?
Who calling me while I trying to work?
I got guava duff on the stove, man.
Who calling me?
Debbie, what happen?
- Mami, these two done eat and now they don't want to pay.
- Mamma Gree Gree, look.
Someone stole my wallet.
- Oh, hell no.
You gonna pay, one way or the other.
You either gonna pay me or the doctor.
- Mamma Gree Gree, can I please get a glass of water?
- A nigga can work!
You eat your pain!
- Come on, Mamma Gree Gree, please!
- Freeloader, boy!
- I wasn't freeloading, I was hungry.
- Here, get me son and his friends some water, hurry, hurry!
- We got a great opportunity to get (mumbles)
- Hi. - Hey, mamma!
How you doing? - Hey,
the great Mamma Gree Gree!
- [Man] Still the most beautiful woman in the whole world!
Now where's that lovely daughter yours?
- Oh, there she comes!
- Hey, what's up, fellas?
- I'm hungry.
- Wait man! - I don't wanna wait!
- You're gonna wait!
- Boy, stop your skylarking!
Freeloader boys, bring the water, hurry!
- [Man] Freeloader man.
Got the water in his mouth.
- Hey yo, man, take that time this water.
- Put that smile up on your face.
- Smile, boy!
- Is that a wig?
- What's this?
- Think it's going to be really cool for us, man.
Hey, good morning, Mrs. Johnson how you doing?
(whispering)
- Oh, shit. - You see that?
- That's right.
- I don't believe this.
- I am so excited to be signing Courage Band to our label.
- We gonna make a lot of money, here.
We talking about world wide success.
The American fan they just love your stuff!
- We plan to put your music on every shelf
in every music store around.
We want to promote this music as the new fresh sound.
- Let me put it to you this way, we are the shit.
- Stinky shit.
- [Both] You can smell us everywhere!
- Stinky shit?
- It's the same shit they said to us!
- I knew I smelled some shit during our talk.
- What does that mean for you?
- [Both] Money!
- Money, money.
- Money (laughs sarcastically)
- [Ed] Money!
- Mrs. Johnson, Ed, no disrespect.
We produce our own thing.
Don't expect us to change our style
just to fit into the American market.
- Now that would only happen if P. Diddy was your prodcucer.
- [Everyone] P. Diddy?
(band clamors)
- Not that P. Diddy shit.
- Alright, no P. Diddy, he commercializes everything.
Come on, let's sit down.
- That's were we come into the picture.
Do you know how many people we know get ripped off
by these crooked labels?
- [Man] Exactly.
- Now look, we got major connections
with all the major labels, and all the hot producers.
So, I got you covered, alright?
- Tomorrow night, we will have a great time
celebrating our union together.
(everyone speaking in agreement)
- Feeling it?
Well, let's toast.
- Here's to the Courage Band.
- [Everyone] Courage!
- Let's go! - We can't get caught here!
- Come on, let's go! (whispering)
(laughing)
- What you two doing back here?
- Shh! - Boy!
Don't be shushing me!
Who you hiding from?
- [Both] Out!
- Freeloader, get back here!
Come back here!
(speaks in foreign language)
- It seems like our clients are out of range.
Find Gwen and my cousin Bobby.
Oh yeah, and find Darla.
See if they have any close friends or relatives,
and bring them all to me.
- In one piece?
- Daddy T, can we have some fun, please?
- In one piece.
- Let's go, let's go, man, wait til I find this man, dawg.
- With somebody that black, this is here in the daytime.
- He's probably hiding in the shade or something.
Look man, that's him.
Hey, yo, yo, y'all see a little dark dude
with a bunch worms coming out of his head?
- Yeah, Roger?
- Yeah, Roger, Roger, where he at?
- He at one of them hotels, man.
You guys check up there somewhere.
- The hotel down the street?
- Ah yeah, somewhere up in town man.
- Alright man, good looking out.
- Alright man, let's go.
- Cool, Cool, there he go!
- [Roger] Don't let me call for me granny!
- [Ace] Come here punk!
- Yo, man!
- Ah yeah, you don't think we would get you, huh?
Where's my shit?
- What shit?
- Oh, he don't know. - Oh, what shit, huh?
- Where's my shit man? - Let me see
if I can jog your memory.
- Yo man, I don't want you to kill him, man.
Come here, come here, come here!
- Boss Lady paid me to do it.
- Where's my shit, man?
Where's my shit?
- Who the hell is Boss Lady?
- Pretty smile, big boobs, fake, yeah?
Fine butt. - Oh, it's
that double crossing bitch!
Let's go, man.
- Yo, I'm putting a splinter in your forehead.
- Trust me, let's go
- [Cool] My brand new shoes.
- [Ace] I'm telling you, dawg,
that girl was giving me the eyes.
- Why you didn't say something to her?
- Yeah, we got kicked out, remember?
- I'm tired, man.
- You're tired?
- Where the hell we at?
- I don't know.
- We been walking in circles.
- Yo, Cool. - That's her.
- That's the girl? - Yeah.
- Go say something to her.
- The hell am I going to say?
- I don't know, man, see if she can get us something to eat
or something to drink.
- You right, you right, hold up.
Holla. - You straight.
Fix your collar.
Okay, go ahead.
- Alright, alright, hold up.
- And some corn fritters!
- (laughs) Alright.
(screams)
- What you two doing back?
- No, we just hanging.
- What you doing here?
- We're just hanging, girl.
Yeah.
- You two ain't got no place to stay, eh?
- What you talking about, man, this is an island.
We can stay anywhere we want.
Sleep under the clear sky, right mo?
Here you go.
- Homeless and broke.
Come on, alright, come.
Follow me, come.
- Where she taking us?
- I really don't care.
- Come now or no.
- [Ace] So, where you taking us?
- Oh, big American boy, can't keep up, eh?
Right up here, right here.
- [Cool] (mumbles) Come on, bitch.
(mumbling)
- Debbie, mamma know you be out like this?
- Dee, leave her alone, she's a grown woman now.
- And who be the Yankee boys?
- What? - Yankee boys?
I'm Cool Breeze, baby.
This is my sidekick, Ace.
- What's up?
- Oh, that's the freeloader one work at the restaurant.
(everyone laughs)
- Yeah, that would be me.
- But Dee, they need a place to stay tonight.
- What's wrong with the hotel?
- They ain't got no money.
They broke!
(everyone laughs)
- One of your other cousins stole my shit.
When I find him, I'm putting my foot up his ass.
- Damn straight!
- Mamma Gree Gree, what's poppin'?
- Oh, hell no, hell no, Debbie, girl!
What you bring them over to my house like some stray dogs?
Freeloaders.
You get them out of here!
Now!
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.
What those things for?
- Oh, this?
This is the latest in ghetto jewelry.
- You know what?
You are a foolish, foolish boy.
And one day Mamma Gree Gree gonna teach you a thing or two.
Now tell me what those things for.
- Mamma Gree Gree, it's a long story.
- I'm listening.
(dialog speeds forward)
(dialog speeds forward)
- I put up one of my legs,
and Cool over here, put up one of his twin baby's.
And that's exactly what happened.
That's why we're here.
- What, I, what happened was,
only one of the twins was mine.
I mean, him and Daddy T cousins,
we going to get the money anyways.
- Look, fellas, listen to me, listen.
Ed, Mrs. Johnson, they're crooks.
You can't trust them.
- Mrs. Johnson and Ed are our friends.
Mrs. Johnson is a very loyal woman.
- Trust me on this one.
I'm telling you, we don't get our money,
our originals back, we're pretty much screwed.
- Look, we'll decide what to do about them.
- You know what?
You a good honest man, Ace.
You, you are a good and honest man, Ace.
You, you are disrespectful!
You are no good!
You put your unborn child up for the money.
Lessons need be taught, freeloader.
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
- Mamma, don't!
- Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
- You wanna stop before the hex get worse!
- Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
Bigger, bigger, bigger, freeloader!
- Momma, enough!
- Is that your best shot?
- Now you will see how your girlfriend, Darla, feels.
Ha, ha, ha!
- How'd she know my woman's name is Darla?
- I don't know!
- Here, put them out with the chickens.
- Mamma Gree Gree, is it like that?
- Yeah, it's like that!
(speaks in foreign language)
(soulful R&B music)
♪ Every night I lay awake in bed
♪ And I'm screaming why
♪ I try to knock it out of my mind
♪ But it's just to hard to try
♪ I wanna think of happy days
♪ None of them come to mind
♪ Then you ask me what's wrong in my life
♪ And I turn and I walk away
- So, you have no idea where they are?
- What's he done now?
Get off me, don't touch me!
- Where's my son?
- I don't know.
That is why I have you here, cousins.
To find that out.
And I'll let you in on a little secret later on.
But for right now,
I have a little custom jewelry I need for you to wear.
Zion.
Cousins.
If Ace and Cool Breeze don't show,
well, let's just say,
better you than me.
(chuckles)
- Wake up, wake up!
Sleepy heads, come on!
- Where is everybody?
- At the (mumbles) for the big celebration!
Come on, let's go!
- Feels like my stomach's about to explode!
- Come on!
- Probably something you ate.
- Maybe, I think I just need to stay here,
and get some rest.
You all go, I'll be alright.
- Nigga, we gotta go, dawg, we gotta get Mrs. Johnson.
- Come on, let's go!
- You all go ahead!
Bring me back some ice cream or something.
- [Ace] You nasty, come on, man, let's go.
(Cool groans)
(upbeat music)
- Cool, look at them!
She probably told them we were here.
- Are you sure about this?
- Girl, I need to get that money.
- I know my brother ain't question Mrs. Johnson.
She's a very loyal person.
- That's bullshit.
- [Ace] You got that right.
Sure is bullshit.
- You know, I dreamed of a small private wedding.
- Just a little one?
- A little one?
With nothing but close friends and family.
- We can do that. - Yeah?
- We can do that right here.
Right here, do that right here.
- My mom would have a fit.
I got to get married in a church.
- So, we do the church thing.
- Do the church thing?
- Got no problem with that. - Yes?
- Wherever you want it, you got it.
- Yeah? - Yes, okay.
- Okay.
- Ain't this a bitch?
- I knew it, I knew we shouldn't trust her!
- [Cool] I can't believe she with him.
- Debbie, you think you can get us inside?
If we go inside, I can find out where they got our stuff.
- But Ace, I don't wanna destroy
my brother work so hard for.
- Believe me, they sign that contract, I promise you,
you're gonna lose everything.
Hey, what's so damn funny?
Shut up! - I can't, man!
It feels like something's moving inside of me.
This shit tickles.
- You got diarrhea, man.
(Cool laughs)
What the hell your mamma do to him?
(Cool laughs)
Shut the hell up man, damn.
Nigga, come on!
- You better get the hell out of my face.
I'm sick of you!
Ever since you met little Bahama mamma, you been tripping!
And I'll slice both you all the hell up, Ace.
You stay out of my face, stay out of my face, Ace.
- Put the knife down--
(Debbie shouts)
- What are you three doing here?
- Look, I told you, I want my stuff back!
- We have been monitoring these two bastards
for the last six months,
and we almost have them where we want them.
But we can't afford to have some superstar Shaft,
wannabe rapper come and mess things up!
Now, either you can help us,
or you can spend the rest of your time here
in a less accommodating facility other than the one
you scams yourself into.
Now, let's work together.
- Together, together?
Hell no, how the hell we gonna work together
when I saw you with mini Tyson
trying to bite your tongue off!
Hell no!
- I have to make him fall in love with me
in order to get him back into the States.
If I can't convince him to come back with me,
I lose the case.
They escape forever.
- So, how can we help you?
- Testify against them.
I know the last two people who testified were never found,
but you two can go into our witness protection program.
- You done bumped your damn head.
- So, what you gonna do about Daddy T?
- How the hell you know about that?
- [Kylie] I have my sources.
- Why should we believe you?
Oh, it's shiny.
- We have been monitoring them behind my connection.
Mrs. Johnson and Ed are involved
in illegal internet activities.
They're intercepting internet sales,
and redirecting the funds into a Swiss bank account.
- Look, I just want the stuff back.
- Inside Mrs. Johnson's hotel room
is a briefcase containing a computer disk.
The only evidence we have found to exist.
It contains all their fraudulent records.
- So, hold up a minute, you should be in love
with Mrs. Johnson instead of Ed,
so you can get the briefcase back.
Exactly. - Yeah, yeah!
- So alright, let's just say we going along with this plan.
Are we going to get our money back?
- Any and all evidence involved will be confiscated
until after the trial.
- Hell no.
You know what, you're wasting our time, let's go.
- Wait, wait!
Maybe we can work something out.
- Uh, uh, ain't no work something out.
We got to get our stuff back.
That's what we came here for.
And that's what we leaving with.
- It's all or nothing.
- Alright, alright.
If you, don't touch me!
If you screw me up on this,
I'm gonna make sure the three of you rot
in a Bahamas jail.
(Debbie screams)
- Hey, what you doing, man?
- I don't know, what?
- Break the (mumbles).
- Shh! - What you doing, man?
What you doing?
(whispering)
- Come in, hurry up!
- Cool! - Cool, come on, come in!
- Cool, go!
You look over there.
Dang. (door squeaks)
- Somebody's coming, somebody's coming!
- Oh!
Oh, my God!
Sea Breeze!
I hate you!
(screams)
(Cool whimpering)
- I was looking for you.
Alright, now listen.
I know we're about to make a killing on these Rasta retards,
but you have got to follow my lead.
They trust me.
We can't have another Baltimore incident.
- Man, I was holding his feet tight.
It wasn't my fault that his shoelaces untied.
Think about it!
He only fell three stories.
- Five stories!
All I need for them to do is take the 10% pitch.
- I'ma bring Kylie in on this one.
- I've been meaning to say something
to you about honey girl.
I just, it's something about her.
- You let me worry about honey girl.
You just make sure you bring those Courage suckers
in for the plucking.
- You need to stay focused, Ed.
Women cloud your judgment.
- You know, I've got a life to live, too.
It's not just about the money.
Now, come on now!
You never said to yourself that I wanna love someone, too?
(suspenseful music)
- Okay, they're gone, they're gone.
Come on, come on, come on.
Yo, I think I found it, man!
- What? - The briefcase!
I got it, dawg.
- Open it up.
- We got the disks.
Alright, this is what we're gonna do.
We're gonna find Mrs. Johnson and Ed,
we're gonna blackmail them using the disks.
We're gonna get our stuff back.
- What about Kylie and the deal?
- Hey, forget Kylie, man!
She probably set us up!
Deb, go find your brothers.
Tell them not to sign the contract.
- Okay, I'm going right now.
- Alright?
Let's go.
(Kylie gasps)
- I'm sorry, I just can't allow you to do that.
Over there.
You just don't understand, do you?
I need them to come back to the States.
Any screw ups and I lose them.
- Cool, you smell something?
- Yup.
- I sure smell bullshit.
You're in with them, huh?
- No, she's not.
She would have warned them by now.
She's for real.
- Yeah, real fake.
- See, honey?
I told you they followed us here.
- [Ed] Well, I'll be damned if it ain't Ace and Cool Breeze.
- Don't you mean two dead men?
And one Bahama mamma? (laughs)
- Bring your asses on.
- Oh, what do you wanna do with them?
- Kylie, come on.
- Oh, I have an idea.
- [Ed] Bring your asses on!
- When the sun comes up,
you will have maybe three hours of slow death.
Well, that is if the tide goes 'round you first!
- You a bad mother!
- Shut your mouth!
- Right on, see ya! (exclaims)
(Ed laughs)
See ya!
- Cool?
Cool?
- What?
- I gotta tell you something before I die.
- [Cool] What's up?
- You promise you won't get mad?
- Promise.
- Me and Darla been sleeping with each other.
- What?
- Those twins might be mine!
- Oh, nigga, I'm gonna bite your fucking face off!
- I'm just joking, dawg.
I'm just joking, you know I would never do that to you.
- That shit ain't funny.
Don't be getting me excited in my condition.
- But for real,
you're the best friend I ever had, dawg.
The best.
I should have signed that damn contract.
I should have thought about you and Darla.
I'm sorry! (sobbing)
- Oh, we'll still be able.
We was in this shit through thick and thin.
And shit don't get no thicker than this.
- [Ace] Debbie?
The first time I saw you, girl, dancing.
It was like love at first sight.
- Guess what?
- What?
- I wanted you, too.
- Aw, damn!
No use in trying.
- I gotta go to the bathroom!
- Number one or number two?
- [Cool] (sobbing) Number two!
- [Ace] How you gonna wipe your ass?
("Homecoming" by Courage Band)
♪ This one is called Homecoming
♪ To all the sexy and beautiful ladies out there
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ (vocalizing)
♪ We're all coming out tonight!
♪ Homecoming and I'm coming
♪ Are you ready to go
♪ Homecoming and I'm coming
♪ Are you ready to go
♪ If you see the way that she looks at me
♪ (mumbles)
♪ It's all about the ladies
♪ Party, party, baby
♪ See all the girls in (mumbles)
♪ Tonight's the night
♪ And the girl's in the house
♪ Tonight's the night
♪ I wanting girl's in the house
- Stay focused.
Don't let that girl cloud your judgment.
We're here to make this money and jet to London.
- But I never met anybody I dig like this.
- She's after the money.
All women are after money.
- This one,
this one's different!
- Trust me on this one.
♪ You drink I drive
♪ Listen, only baby gonna party tonight
♪ You drink I drive
♪ Listen, only baby gonna party tonight
♪ You drink and I drive and
♪ Listen, only baby gonna party tonight
♪ You drink and I drive and
♪ Listen, only baby gonna party tonight
(mumbles)
- (gasps) I want to make this simple,
so special and so great.
Something I can remember forever.
- Yeah, me too, me too!
- But,
I'll marry you, but first we have to ask my father.
♪ Tearing up the dance floors
♪ Spilling red wine
♪ Oh, Madam Gree Gree you drink and I'll drive
- We can get married anywhere you want to.
Then we can go to London.
And live happily ever after.
♪ Do not disturb
♪ Holler when the man
♪ Homecoming, I'm coming
(both laughing)
♪ Homecoming, I'm coming.
- May I have everyone's attention?
It gives me great joy to introduce my favorite band,
and seeing them for the last time on this day of success,
and dreams coming true!
Here's to the Courage Band!
(crowd applauds and cheers)
The Courage Band is about to sign
a lucrative three-album deal with Slick Row Records!
(crowd applauds and cheers)
- And it also gives me great pleasure to announce
that Kylie and I will be getting married.
(crowd applauds and cheers)
- Today, kiss her, baby.
- And may they live happily ever after.
Now, getting down to the business,
that we've all come here for.
If the Courage Band would please come up.
- [Ed] Come on, fellas.
- [Photographer] One, two, three, smile!
- Dwight, where your sister is?
- I don't know, mamma.
- What's wrong, Dwight?
- I don't see my sister.
- Oh, I'm sure she's here somewhere,
but we can keep Red and Slick waiting much longer.
- Okay, bye.
(upbeat music)
- Look, what is that?
- What, I don't see it.
(Debbie screams)
- It's a fucking alligator!
- Oh, hell no!
(Debbie screams)
- Wait a minute!
Oh, that's Roger! - Who?
- Hey Roger!
Hey, bring your ass over here!
- [Debbie] Me first!
- Please Roger!
- [Debbie] Come now, me first!
- Nah, me first!
- [Debbie] Ladies first, freeloader!
- I feel like I'm having bad cramps in my ass!
- Look what your mamma did to him!
- She's making him feel the same pain
as his pretty girlfriend is feeling.
(Ace mumbles)
- [Cool] This shit ain't funny man, it hurts!
- Roger, hurry up!
- Now you know how we feel!
- Hurry up!
- [Cool] I'll never have sex with kids.
- You know who it is, bitch.
You didn't think I was going find you?
If I don't have my money here
by 12 noon Friday,
I'm taking your mother and your father's legs.
Oh yeah,
and you tell,
Fool Breeze,
I'm gonna sell his little stupid ass baby
on the black market.
- [Debbie] Come now, come on!
- Tell Mamma Gree Gree this is wrong!
Fake ass Miss Cleo!
- Ready? - Yes.
- Let's go. - Okay.
- Come on, we're almost there.
- Yeah, we're here, come on.
- Look Cool, we got 24 hours, dawg.
24 hours to go back to the States with the money.
- We gotta go with your heart man.
We going with your heart,
because I'm sensitive, I'm mad as hell,
and I'm ready to whoop a nigga's ass!
- That's what I'm talking about, baby!
- Let's get these motherfuckers.
- Let's do this shit.
- Hey!
- [Debbie] Mrs. Johnson!
- Well, well, well, sister.
Just ran into the Courage Band,
and it looks like congratulations are in order
on their contract. (laughs)
- You know what?
You are a backstabbing witch!
- Backstabbing?
I have always taken care of my Courage Band,
but I need more.
Do you think this property runs itself?
They'll get paid.
Not enough to feed themselves, but they will get paid.
- Just cut the bullshit!
- Where's the disk?
I know you stole it.
- So, what now?
- Two clowns.
Sorry, but Ed and Kylie,
they're on their way to the airport.
You're too late.
- You better check our signatures.
- Dwight, Chang, Dannard, Jammie,
what do you mean check your signatures?
- And we trusted you!
- Yeah, bitch!
- [Man] We should have listened to Debbie!
- Like I said, I needed the money.
Please don't make me do this.
I have a plane to catch.
Back off!
I said back off!
Back off!
(gun fires)
- You alright? - I'm alright, man!
Hey man, I'm okay, I'm okay, get her, get her!
- Are you alright?
- Yeah mean, I'm alright, just get her, get her, get her!
(everyone clamoring)
- Hurry up, hurry up!
(everyone clamoring)
- Come on, hurry up, hurry up!
- Get her!
(everyone clamoring)
(everyone clamoring)
- [Cool] It's over now, Suge White!
- [Roger] Come on, come on, we gotta go!
- Okay, we got it, we got it, dawg!
That's what I'm talking about baby!
(propeller whirring)
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!
Come on, nigga, get going!
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, let's go, let's go, let's go!
(propeller whirring)
Go, go, go, go, go!
(propeller chugging)
- Damn, man!
- Debbie, what time is the next flight out?
- Tomorrow morning.
- Early morning or late morning?
- Late morning.
- We're screwed.
Fucking screwed!
Shit, we gotta pay Daddy T back by noon,
and how the hell we gonna get there?
- I feel like killing myself, man.
I can't believe I was so selfish.
You know what, you make me sick, Ace!
We had the money in our hands, $100,000 man!
- Oh, now it's my fucking fault?
- Yeah, it's your fault!
I'm going to lose my baby, Ace,
but it's always about you
and your bright ass ideas!
Why don't you think about other people sometimes?
- What happened man?
What the hell you want me to do?
- Stop it, stop it!
- Get your hands off me, man!
- Alright, it's my fault.
Is that what you want to hear, huh?
It's my fault.
- Calm down.
- [Ace] Look, I failed you, alright?
I failed myself and I failed you.
- [Debbie] It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- It doesn't matter now.
Kylie took all our stuff.
We're screwed.
Pretty much screwed.
- Go.
- Lucas Waters a/k/a Ed!
- You know these jokers?
- You are under arrest
for racketeering, extortion,
and fleeing the country while on parole.
- Hold on, big boy! - Against the car!
- You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can
and will be used against you in the court of law.
- Thought you said you was my baby?
- I was never your baby.
- (whispering) I got something, goddammit,
I got something for you.
- Get in there!
- You know they say the best way to kill yourself is
by drinking sleeping pills.
Just try and there's more to find, huh?
God, I wish that kiss could make everything I done right.
- Well, it wasn't meant to.
I just wanted to.
You're a special guy, Ace.
- I'm not special.
I'm selfish.
I'm careless.
I'm just a big idiot.
You don't understand, sweetheart,
you really don't understand, it's over.
This is the end.
I'm pretty much finished.
- Your waters run deeper than that.
- I hope so, sweetheart.
I really hope so.
God, I hope so.
(groaning)
- Oh, Mamma Gree Gree, why you do it to me?
- Why? To teach you a lesson!
- I learned it, I learned it, I'm sorry!
I'ma care for your baby's life!
I'll never do it again!
Please, have mercy, have mercy!
- The spell shall not be broken,
until your girlfriend has your babies! (laughs)
- Oh, it's burning!
(groans)
- Hey! - What the f--
- Let's go!
Where's Cool?
- What the hell you doing here?
- You two are my most important witnesses.
I have to protect you.
- What time is it?
- 8 o'clock.
Oh shit, Debbie, get up!
Cool!
Cool, we gotta go, dawg.
Sorry about yesterday, dawg, but we gotta go.
- But where we going?
- We going home, come on let's go!
- Ace, did you hit it?
- Girl, what are you waiting for?
It's okay, go ahead!
- Thank you!
- Stop the car, stop the car!
Go, go, go!
(Ace and Cool exclaim excitedly)
- Thank Lord, I'm home!
Thought I wasn't going to make it off that island.
(phone rings)
- Oh shit, Daddy T!
- Hello?
- [Daddy T] What's up with my 20 Gs?
- We'll be right there.
- Here, I have someone I want you to talk to.
(muffled shouts)
- Darla baby, don't worry, I'm coming!
- If I don't have my money in 20 minutes,
a leg and a baby, $20,000.
Now the clock is ticking!
- Yo, why we rushing over there, we don't have the money?
(muffled crying)
(muffled screaming)
- Kylie, look, I know we didn't believe you the first time,
but you did promise us,
we're gonna get our money back, right?
- Did you get the disk?
- Yes!
- I got the disk?
- You got the disk.
- Oh, shit.
There you go!
(phone rings)
- Yeah?
Make that move.
- Should we follow?
- Come on, man.
(muffled crying)
- Hold it, FBI!
- Darla baby, I'm coming!
- Damn!
- Leave him alone, it's my leg you want!
- Yeah, y'all go whoop Ace's ass!
- Let's do this!
- Ain't nobody scare of you!
I'll whoop your ass, Alfalfa!
- I never hit a girl before.
But there's a first time for everything.
- Girl, that ain't hurt!
You hit me again, I'll beat your motherfucking ass!
- Like Ali, baby, move like a fly, a butterfly,
and sting like a bee!
- Oh, thank you, Jesus!
- Freeze!
- Hey, FBI, how you doing?
- She choking me with her titty!
- G-- - Get your hands up!
- D-D-D-D--
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Fuck you!
- Get the fuck over there!
- Ain't that some shit?
- I'm a businessman. Them boys owe me money!
I don't play when it comes to,
hey, don't fuck with me!
- [Agent] Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to hook up over here.
(groaning)
- Oh, Jesus.
- Yeah, you got your ass whooped.
- Shut the hell up!
- I straight up beat Alfalfa's ass.
- Mom, Dad, you guys okay?
- Oh my God, my baby!
My baby!
Oh, my God, are you alright?
(Darla screams)
- It broke!
- Is it coming?
(everyone clamors)
- Give me the keys!
(everyone clamors)
- Oh, Ace, Ace, Ace!
Ace, don't you leave me here by myself, Ace!
(yelling)
- Come on, Mr. Jones, let's go!
- Wait, Wait!
(singing)
(singing)
(singing)
(singing)
(singing)
- Yo fellas, take five, it's a wrap!
- VIP.
Hey there, my girl!
- What's up, Cool?
- Nothing much.
- [Cool] How you doing?
- I'm good, how you doing?
- I'm fine, let me ask you a question.
'Cause I asked this one.
Do I look like I'm gaining weight to you?
Seriously, have I gained weight in my ass?
- You are silly!
Look!
I got something for you.
A little something, something.
- Something, something?
- Uh, oh!
- Look Kylie, we really appreciate
everything you done for us for real.
Now we were really happy to testify,
so our first concert, you're definitely invited.
- Oh yeah? - VIP.
- I'm counting on that!
- Alright. - Alright?
- Okay. - Alright.
Gotta go.
- Okay. - Later.
Bye!
- You can come back stage, too!
- Let's see what's inside, man.
What do you think it is?
- I hope it's a new outfit.
Oh, my Jesus!
- Oh, hell no!
- Oh, Jesus!
- Is this what I think it is?
- Darla baby, I'm getting you a real diamond!
- Now we rich!
(shouting happily)
Wait a minute let me slap you with it!
(shouting happily)
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