Yo, welcome to Nerd Rocks.
I'm the game master
and I'm playing a game with people.
These are them.
Hey, this is Ronnie, Ronnie Donnie,
Ronnie Donnie A.
Hey, I'm Emily and I'm really happy to be here.
Hi, I'm Lee.
Yep.
That's right.
Hello, I'm Roger and one time,
I built a house for ostriches out of cardboard.
Sounded like you said "arstriches."
Arstriches.
Yeah. Where is that accent from?
It's one I made up.
Southern accent or a regional dialect?
It's the Camp Riviera accent.
Oh, it's starting to get to you.
So just sort of all different variations.
Yeah, like indistinct.
Unbayou folk.
Yeah.
Cool.
People who've walked--
People who have walked from New Orleans to Michigan.
They picked up all the accents in between.
[laughter]
It's very common.
-It's very common. -Spent 120 years there.
One hundred and four.
I'm sorry.
It's all right. Apology accepted.
So last game, you guys started hunting down
Renald Riviera's friends.
You encountered Brenda in a Mech suit
and you fought her to the death.
You made her rip off and eat her toenails.
Pretty intense.
[laughter]
You're going to need a lot of therapy after this, Roger.
Yeah, I feel like he already does.
[laughter]
And then you went to a room full of garbage cans,
you got stabbed by some kind of needle,
and then you guys kicked over the rest of the garbage cans.
They were full of garbage.
You decided not to play around in it anymore,
went back into the woods, went through the doorway,
and you are currently in a cave with a giant in a sundress.
Who we recognize.
-Yes. -Yeah.
And it's awake.
Yeah, and I'm doing one of those like, Mrs. Doubtfire, like "Hello!"
He's slowly starting to get up.
He looks pissed.
Yeah, okay.
Well, he's going to look even angrier
when we shoot him in the face.
Yeah. You know what?
Let's just fight him.
[laughter]
Does anyone have any ice tea?
Because he looks like, with that sundress,
he looks like he could use some ice tea.
Do you like ice tea?
And the giant turns to you and says,
"Prefer an Arnold Palmer."
[laughter]
Roll initiatives.
Yeah, okay.
Here we go.
-All right. -Niner.
Plus your spryness.
Oh, good. Cool.
Twenty-one's not bad.
Eleven.
Eleven.
I had 20 with my spryness.
Ten, twenty, Roger?
Twenty-one.
Cool.
Oh, thank you.
I think I'm last again.
That's good. Clean up.
[laughs]
The Guy takes a shot at the giant...
Hey, all right.
I always forget The Guy's there and then I'm so glad.
...and he hits him.
Nice.
All right.
-Okay. Well, that's fine. -That's three damage.
[laughs]
Load that thing up with BBs.
Yeah. That's right. That was a warning shot.
[laughs]
Roger?
Well, I'm just going to toss the missile,
that we got last time, right at him.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah, might as well.
Just take some physical damage from hitting him.
Just pick up the missile and just toss it.
All right, give me a power check.
Oh, come on, man.
All right.
Oh, six.
He catches the missile.
Wow.
Okay. Well--
And he gently sets it down.
Good effort.
Okay.
Emily?
I'm going to shoot at the missile
that's right next to him.
Yeah, that's a nice one.
That'll do it.
All right!
All right.
So the missile does two D6 damage,
but because you crit, you do four.
Oooh.
Wow.
Four sixes?
Wow.
Forty-six, here you go.
Oh, thank you so much.
Yeah.
Oh, you got them.
Give us a good one.
So many.
End this now.
Nice.
Wow!
Twenty.
Wow, 20 damage.
Wow, nice!
Wow, how's that sundress looking now?
Yeah.
[laughter]
The sundress is starting to burn away.
Yeah!
Looking more like a moon dress, am I right.
[laughter]
No.
No.
[laughs]
Oh, dang.
All right.
Giant comes lumbering over.
He tries to swing on you, Emily, first.
Makes sense.
With a spryness?
Yeah. He's going to get you.
He's going to get me.
Yep.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Take one for the team.
Take nine damage.
Okay. Okay.
That's fine. I shot him.
He tries to smash you with his other fist.
He's just bringing these big fists down on you.
Oh, Lee. Roger, sorry.
I'm up?
Oh, no, he's trying to hit you.
Oh, he's trying to--
Okay. All right, well.
Yep.
He hits me?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Giant. This giant.
Ten damage.
Okay. Well--
Plants ya.
Ay, yi, yi.
[laughter]
All right. Lee, now you're up.
Okay.
Bring the heat.
Yeah.
I'm going to shoot the giant.
Oooh, all right.
Yay!
Nice shot, Lee.
I found it without any help.
Yeah!
Two.
Man.
Ten.
Sixteen damage.
All right. Good.
That's a healthy shot.
Cool.
Ron?
Well--
There's your Arnold Palmer.
Where's your Ronald Palmer?
Said it a little late, he didn't hear you.
[laughter]
It's kind of more of my style.
Under your breath, like, there's the Arnold Palmer.
There's the Arnold Palmer.
Well, I mean, I feel like--
I feel somewhat helpless
because all I have is my magic barf,
but I'm going to magic barf all over you.
All right.
-No. -No
Dang it. Sorry, guys.
It's all right.
He jumps out of the way.
The Guy is like, "He's distracted by the puke."
Takes a shot at him...
...and misses.
Oh, wow. Wow.
-This is an illusion. -Good theory.
Not good.
This is an elusive creature.
Roger.
-I'm up? -Yep.
I'm going to do the flashlight thing again,
where it like puts him at a disadvantage
by blinding them.
All right.
I'm going to do that.
All right.
That's a powerful flashlight.
It is.
Yeah. That'll do it.
All right!
Nice.
Too early for this.
[laughter]
Emily?
So he's at a disadvantage.
So I'll shoot him.
All right.
Yeah.
Actually, that's a tie.
Oh, all right.
We go again?
-No, nope, nope. -Yeah, it misses.
All right...uh.
No disadvantage?
But he has a disadvantage to attack.
Oh, right, right, right.
All right, so now he's trying to attack you first, Emily.
Oh, man.
All right, go ahead and roll your spryness.
That'll do it.
All right. Nice.
Just made it through.
Wowey. Okay.
And then he tries to smash you, Ron.
Bring it. Bring it.
How are you going to get through the shield?
Yeah. You're going to defend it.
Yay!
[laughs] That's a catfish power.
Lee?
Oh, well, uh...
I'm going to try to blow that sundress right off of it.
Yeah.
All right!
With a gun, right?
Yeah, with a gun.
What was that?
Did anyone see what that roll was?
Five, I think?
-Okay. -Yeah.
I couldn't see from the angle.
And a seven.
Nice. Nineteen.
-All right. -Wow!
Strong damage.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like this giant's going to go down pretty quick.
He's uh... He's looking pretty busted up.
Nice. [laughter]
-I'm impressed, Lee. -Well, thank you.
Ron?
A lot of you guys didn't know this,
but me and Beauregard, we had relations.
So inside of me is a million catfish eggs.
Yeah, fertilized catfish eggs, I guess.
Yeah.
And I mean, I feel like-- let me know,
but I feel like they're full of dangerous acid.
I mean, what kind of babies are you--
Well, I have acid puke.
Yeah.
Or they could be just like little tiny catfish babies,
flying catfish babies, a million of them.
What're you trying to do?
I just want to send my minions to attack him,
like a million tiny catfish babies attacking the giant.
[laughter]
I don't know.
I feel like--
Is that too abstract for this game?
[laughter]
Not necessarily.
Okay, I'm just going to vomit puke on him.
It's maybe not how fertilization works.
Okay, acid vomit.
No.
Oh, well.
Can't say I didn't try.
Yeah.
Yeah, we definitely can't say that.
The Guy taking a shot at the giant.
Yeah, The Guy.
I mean... Yeah, he crited him.
[laughing]
Nice.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This might end up getting you out of the hot seat, Roger.
Thank goodness.
Wow. That's so much.
Yeah, 16, 27, 32 damage.
Woo.
Take back everything we said about you, The Guy.
The giant is hurt.
He is--
Still just hurt?
Well, this is not cool,
because it's coming up because my turn's next.
So you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to use the sunscreen
because I realized I haven't applied sunscreen to myself
this entire journey so far.
I'm going to use the sunscreen that's in my bag
and just go in the corner
and run away from everything and just put sunscreen on.
Great.
It's the middle of the night.
Yeah, but it's fine.
It's fine.
I just don't want to kill anyone.
Wow.
And you guys thought the million babies thing was crazy.
Emily?
I guess I'll just shoot the giant.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, that was a crit fail.
So you hit him.
Nice.
Great.
Three D10.
Three.
-Seven. -Ten.
That'll do it.
Nice!
You take a shot.
What happens to the giant?
I take a shot.
It hits the giant right in its heart
and he stumbles around
and he looks at Roger and he says,
"I forgive you" and then he dies.
All right.
Thank you, my fellow murderer.
[laughter]
The giant is dead.
[cheering]
Can we search its body,
see if it had anything in its pockets of the sundress?
Yeah.
He has like a pouch on his side, tied with twine.
Inside of it are a bunch of rocks.
-Okay. -Okay.
Got to be a reason he was carrying those with him.
How many rocks?
I'll eat those rocks.
No.
Please don't.
[laughter]
There are-- let's see.
There are a total of 10 rocks.
Nice.
[overlapping conversation]
My bag is so heavy.
I'll carry them. I'll carry them.
You'll carry 10 rocks?
-Yeah. -Who has the magic potion?
I do.
She does.
And you have the map and you have the book.
Yeah, I got a book in there, guys.
A missile.
The hunting rifle.
The boom box.
Can I examine the rocks to see if I can figure out
what they do?
Yeah. Give me a brains check.
Yeah.
I don't think it's going to work, but--
Eleven.
Eleven?
Yeah, they--
They don't seem like ordinary rocks,
but you don't know.
Okay.
Can I try to convince him of something?
Oh, boy.
So have you ever seen the movie, "Space Jam?"
You know how like in Space Jam
when they have the water
and they pretend like it's magic water
and then they all are actually real basketball players?
-Then they win the game? -Yeah.
So I'm going to try to convince you
that those rocks are magic rocks,
that when you throw them,
it's immediately going to kill whatever we see in one hit.
-Okay. -All right?
Cool. That's fun.
And then maybe the power of believing
will give us a power bonus or something.
It's "The Secret."
All right. Let's see.
And Lee, you're opposing this
unless you want to just believe him.
No, I do want to just believe him.
Yeah. You believe him.
Nice.
[laughter]
Cool.
Can I just on the sly examine the rocks
to see if there's something real going on?
Yeah. Go ahead and give me a brains check.
Just for my own knowledge.
Fourteen.
Fourteen?
They're magical rocks.
-You don't know what they do. -They're definitely magical, but I don't know.
Okay. All right. [screaming]
There you are.
Thank you.
Can I just swallow one just to see what happens?
Yeah, go for it.
You don't have to roll.
[laughter]
You swallow a pretty big rock.
Mmm.
[laughing]
Down to nine rocks.
Yeah, nine rocks.
Yes, you have nine rocks.
Yeah. Nothing seems to happen after you swallow the rock.
You just swallow a rock.
-Okay. -Earthy.
-Yeah. -Cool.
I'll let you guys know what--
Yeah, no. Keep us posted.
Okay.
Should we-- Se should head back out?
Head back in, frankly.
-Yeah. -Head back out.
You know, I feel like Lee's kind of like the first mate
to your Captain Blackbeard.
[laughing]
I like that.
It seems like hierarchies are really important to catfish.
I just like structure.
Just Ron in general.
I've met a lot of weird people in these woods.
This catfish is one of the strangest creatures
I've ever come across.
I like your hungry eyes, The Guy.
So, wait.
What's left to kill, horcrux-wise?
The puppy at some point, but I'm not doing that.
Yeah, okay.
But--
There could be more that we haven't seen.
How do we know when we've killed them all?
Didn't Renald Riviera say he'll show up
when he wants us to see him or whatever?
Well, sure, but--
Well, maybe he doesn't want us to see him
until we kill all the horcrux's.
Oh, so we'll just go back into the door
and it'll be like the right room?
-I'm guessing. -Maybe.
Hoping.
Okay.
Yeah, why not?
There's the rule of horcrux's.
Oh, wait. What time is it?
It is now 1:00 in the morning.
Okay. So we probably have time for one more fight.
We can sleep and then go to the catfish place.
Oh, wait. That's right.
Let's go to the catfish place.
We can do that during the day.
If you guys still want to.
[laughter]
Yeah. Yeah. We'll do it.
We'll do it.
I feel like there's going to be an awesome boss
in the catfish place,
like a giant, evil catfish or something.
That would be cool.
Oh, god.
[laughter]
Okay.
We'll go to the Gungan City later.
All right!
Let's step out and then step back in again.
All right. So you guys step out into the woods.
Yeah.
You step back through the doorway
and you are in the study of Renald Riviera.
Hey!
Is he there?
Yeah. He's there.
Oh, okay.
Sipping a mint julep.
Hey, little fellow.
Hey, there, little catfish.
Bold.
How you doing?
Well, it's been a really tough couple hours for me.
I lost a husband, got my eyes scratched out.
I realized one of my most handsome teammates
was a murderer, serial killer.
That's what happens when you fall in love with a catfish.
Yeah. I guess you're right.
Yeah. All of that is what happens when you fall in love with--
[laughter]
I never knew that when I decided to become a catfish--
thank you for these powers--
I just didn't know that that's what was going to happen.
It's a heavy burden.
Pow wow?
-Yeah. -Pow wow.
I feel like we can't--
I think we can't try to kill him
until we're certain we've killed--
It's a classic horcrux situation.
If you kill him before you kill the horcrux,
he'll just come right back.
So we'll just bail.
So what if we leave and try to come back in
and just see if it's still him or if we may get somewhere else.
Yeah.
Can I just ask him if he can turn me back into a person?
Sure. Why don't you ask?
Yeah. That's worth asking.
Let's ask him.
Hey, Reno Renay.
That ain't my name.
Renald Reno?
That ain't it either.
Anybody?
Renald Riviera.
Renald Riviera.
[laughing]
Remember when you gave me those magical powers?
Mm-hm.
Do you have the power to take them away as well?
I'd love to not be a catfish because I've got a gig.
If I take away your powers,
I got to take away all the powers.
Okay, cool.
-Pow wow. -Don't do that.
Yeah, don't do that.
I mean--
Although, we haven't been using them really.
I mean, I convinced someone to eat her toe nails.
You're right.
And I can teleport us
to the bottom of the lake to Catfish City.
Otherwise you'll have to swim it.
You have to envision it though.
We'll have to swim there regardless
because you don't know what it looks like.
Well, you just decided that was a part of my powers.
Oh, no we did.
We did.
I was going to say no, I could convince you.
[overlapping conversation]
Well, here's the thing is that there's probably another way
because you mentioned the Catfish City.
You know, Ron, maybe don't be selfish.
Stay a catfish for a while.
Me don't be selfish?
You guys are all about, "I want to keep my powers" and you know.
We didn't make you ask to be a catfish.
That's on you.
That is on you.
Have you guys ever been in love?
Not as much as you.
What I would question, have you ever been in love?
[laughter]
Right. That's a wonderful answer.
All right. Well...
Okay. I'll hold off just for now.
I mean, the acid barf does help.
Yeah.
It's a good life.
All right. Well, never mind.
Just give me a mint julep. Please.
I'm going to give it to you with a straw,
so you can drink it with your little catfish mouth.
You're the nicest.
I want you to remember that
when you all come here trying to kill me later on.
Oh, that's right. He knows everything.
Yeah. I do.
Good to see you though.
How's Derek doing?
Oh,that boy out in the woods right now
eating berries with his butthole.
[laughter]
I love that.
Yeah, that's a pretty good prank, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, since you know everything,
can we just like ask you something just outright?
Mmm hmm.
Is Derek one of your horcrux's now?
-No. -Oh, okay.
Who are your horcrux's?
I ain't going to tell you.
Oh, don't be that way.
You're just like your brother.
Do we really have to kill a puppy?
Oh, Professor Wuzzy Fuzzles?
Yeah.
Yeah. He's gets it.
All right. Well, we'll be back.
Hey, thanks for being so chill
even though we're going to kill you later.
[laughter]
You really are a down dude.
I'm going to kill all you all later.
I mean, good luck.
All right.
You guys are going to keep trying to do your thing,
but eventually, I'm going to kill all of you.
All right. Well, we'll see.
Okay.
Yeah. Good luck.
Say hi to Sarah Whitmore.
Ohhhh.
Good slam.
Good slam.
Was that really a slam?
You couldn't kill her.
-We killed her. -Yeah, so.
I mean, I could've.
I just thought it would be funner to make you guys do it for me.
You thought it would be funner
to hold off 104 years on turning everything into butt monsters?
I think you didn't have the power.
Double slam.
-Boom. -Boom. Boom.
You think I don't have the power?
Lee. Lee. Lee.
He stands up.
He takes off his little carnation.
He sets it down,
rubs his hands and he shoots a ray of energy at you.
What?
Give me a spryness check.
I'm going to try to dodge it.
Yeah. Give me a spryness check.
-Okay. -Oh, boy.
No.
Lee, no.
Whatever.
Whatever.
It was worth the slams that you got in.
Yeah. I burned him up good.
Got him good.
He said, "This is just a little taste
of what you're going to feel later on."
Oh, man. What?
Not that much.
Fourteen damage.
Whatevs.
A little Crudité of pain.
My guy's like, "Didn't hurt.
Didn't hurt."
You a liar and I know it.
[laughing]
Okay.
Anyone else want to feel the thunder?
Nah.
I'm all right.
I don't.
I mean, it depends on what kind you're offering.
Magical.
Oh. No, I'm good.
Painful, magical thunder.
I'm good. I'm good.
Good to see you.
[laughs]
Always a pleasure.
Great to see you all too.
Yeah.
We'll be back after we've done some more killing.
On the way out,
I would like to try to steal that carnation he took off.
Ooooh.
Okay.
How are you trying to do it,
like stealthily or are you just trying to grab it and run?
Stealthily.
All right.
Give me a spryness check.
Yeah.
[gasps]
I'm not even going to roll. Yeah.
[cheering]
You sneakily pocket that carnation.
All right!
Wow.
Let's go, guys.
-Let's go. -Let's go.
We hold hands and exit the door.
All right. You guys are back in the woods.
First mate, Lee.
Whoa, what time is it?
It's 1:10 a.m..
Nice. Let's go back to the door.
I want to examine that flower first.
Let's see what's up with.
You're so--
So.
Hey. I got it.
It's so yellow.
Anyone want to take a look?
-It's pink. -Except that it's pink.
Yeah.
Sorry my--
Night vision goggles?
No, it's my catfish eyes, man.
He could only wear one of the night vision goggles at a time.
It doesn't quite--
Fit on you fit on you.
Does anyone want to look at this carnation?
Yeah. I'll look at it.
Okay.
Brains check?
Yeah.
It's pretty.
As far as you can tell, it's a flower.
I'll look at it too.
Ohhh!
All right.
You know that this flower gives the wearer of it magical powers.
[gasp] Wow.
Well, you're a catfish.
I feel like you kind of need it.
Oh.
Yeah. Give it to Ron.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or we could save it until one of us is on the edge of death.
Yeah.
Well, the thing is, with the Catfish City,
if we're going there,
the only one who could breathe underwater is you,
unless I convince us all that we can breathe underwater.
[laughs]
That defies physical limitations.
So I feel like if you got to go down there by yourself,
you're going to need all the help you can get.
So you got the shield, the flower,
the night vision goggles.
We'll make that call when we get there.
Who has the sword?
I do.
Yeah, he does.
I've not been trying to use it at all.
[laughs]
All right.
But I think you should at least wear the carnation around
for a little while, just 'cause you--
Yeah. I'll pop it on.
Okay, cool.
Do we want to go to Catfish City or do another--
It's still nighttime.
Let's take another crack at the horcrux.
All right.
Boom. You guys are going back in?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Okay. You go in and you are in a room,
like the ceiling is a large dome and ahead of you,
it looks like there's a hedge maze.
Do you have your lighter still?
Yeah.
Why don't we just burn down the hedges.
Yeah, definitely.
I mean, it's not like it's dead leaves.
It's going to--
lighting it with a lighter isn't going to do much.
We could do some flying, Lee.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
The maze is no problem for someone who can fly.
Take the GoPro!
Oh, yeah.
Here. I give you my GoPro.
I'm doing cool drone shots above the maze.
Do I see anything?
Cool. Yeah, give me a brains check here.
All right. So you can tell that this maze--
it looks like--
it's kind of in the shape of a big middle finger.
Would be a good prank for Renald Riviera.
But you can't really discern direction to go through
to get to the end.
But is there anything at the end?
It looks like there is a pedestal
with like a glowing stone on it.
Okay, so something.
Yeah, may as well.
All right.
Well, I've been filming with the GoPro though,
so I'm going to show the footage to these guys,
see if they can figure out any better than me.
All right. Give me a brains check.
All of us?
Mm-hm.
Okay.
Damn. Damn.
Guys, I've always been good with maps.
I can already tell it's a few clicks away.
Twelve.
You are not confident,
but you think that you know the way through this maze.
[laughing]
Wait.
Did you-- When you had your GoPro,
did you film the end of the maze?
Yeah.
If you show her,
she could see it and then envision it and teleport.
Oh, yeah.
Oh. Wow.
Okay, cool.
So I look at the footage and create a mental picture.
I'm like visualizing it.
We hold hands.
The Guy's still here too, right?
The Guy's still here.
He's holding our hands
and I teleport us to the end of the maze.
Nice.
All right. You guys are at the end of the maze.
There is a pedestal in front of you
with a glowing stone just like floating kind of above it.
What do you think, The Guy?
What's that about?
It looks like a magic rock or something.
Don't we already have 10 of those?
Yeah.
And you ate--
Well, nine because you ate one.
Do you think it's a horcrux though,
like that pond that what's-his-face had to drink?
Dumbledore?
Remember?
Wait. Is it surrounded by water.
-It's not. -Okay.
So it's just sitting there.
It's a rock just sitting there.
Mm-hm.
I'm going to go ahead and take it.
If you ate one already,
I'm not going to let you eat two.
[laughter]
This is a glowing rock.
As you grab the stone,
the light starts to like beam out from it and it gets red hot.
You take six damage and then the stone explodes.
Oh.
Everyone give me a spryness save.
-Oh, man. -Wow.
It's okay. We had to do something.
I knew I should've ate it.
Okay, 19.
-Oooh. -Nice.
Yeah. That makes 15.
Okay.
So you're going to take full damage.
Everyone else is going to take half damage.
Okay.
Oh, my god.
Oh, no.
Oh, god no.
Sixteen, 27.
Oh, I'm dead.
Oh, no.
You fall unconscious.
I'm knocked unconscious.
You all hear a laugh.
[laughs]
That's a pretty good prank there.
Henry?
No. It's Renald.
Wait. What's happened with 27?
Oh, I'm gone.
He rounded down.
Yeah.
I know how you feel now.
Yeah. It's not fun.
It's not fun to be unconscious.
No, man.
I don't like this.
Twenty, 11 plus 2 is 13.
Okay. Well, you got us, Renald.
You damn right.
All right, well--
I thought it was pretty funny.
Can I try and give Roger CPR?
You look so cute all knocked out.
We did learn that you trained as a lifeguard.
Oh, that's right.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah. Go ahead and give me a brains check.
Oh, boy.
Yeah. You guys just see this fish
trying to like blow into Roger's mouth.
Right, he's still a fish.
It's not working out great.
All right, well, we got to get out of here.
Yeah, but let's wake Roger up, I guess.
Oh, well...
Do we have anything?
Will the stones help him?
Will the potion help?
He's just unconscious.
Yeah, I'm not dead.
Do we just got to drag him along?
Put him in your backpack, Emily.
Give him like a few slaps on the face,
like, come around.
No? Nothing?
Just pull him out.
All right.
Let's put him on my back.
Okay.
I'll carry load.
Let's just teleport back to the door.
Yeah. Let's teleport back to the door.
Oh, right, the maze. I'm sorry.
I visualize the door
and I teleport us back to the door.
So you guys are back at the door.
We exit.
Cool.
Drag Roger's body.
Drag Roger with us.
Well, all we got was an exploding rock?
Yeah, could've gone better.
So I guess let's go back to camp,
rest for a while and then when it's day,
we'll go to the Catfish City.
Yeah. I'm not going with you to Catfish City.
That's fine. You can wait for us here, right?
Yeah. I'll wait for you right here.
Okay.
We'll be at the door.
Yeah, at the door. Sure.
We'll see you at the door tomorrow night.
Okay.
And he just sits down on the dirt.
Cool.
I'm going to teleport us back to camp.
Oh, thanks.
You guys are back at camp.
Nice.
Oh, feels good to be back at camp, doesn't it?
It's like 1:30 in the morning.
Let's put Roger in bed, let him rest.
I mean, I think we all need to rest.
Yeah.
We'll all rest.
Do we get a full night's sleep?
Is that what we're going to do?
-Let's do it. -Yeah.
Let's get a full night sleep.
Cool. So you all wake at 9:30 in the morning.
Henry is there.
You all want some catfish and eggs?
Catfish and eggs?
I'm going to say, no, Henry.
Where'd you get the catfish?
The lake.
Oh, okay.
That's good.
Where in the lake do you find
you find the most catfish when you're fishing?
Oh, I fish right above the Catfish City.
Where's the Catfish City?
It's right in the middle of the lake.
Right in the exact middle of the lake?
Could you take us there on your boat?
I could take you above it, yeah.
It's a tiny boat.
That's true.
It's going to be snug.
How many horcrux's are there for your brother?
I don't know.
He keeps on making new ones.
Oh, man.
If you had to guess.
If I had to guess, I'd say he's got about maybe nine?
What?
He's got a horcrux factory.
I'm just guessing.
What does it take for him to have to make a new one?
There's got to be some sort of limitation.
He can't just make them all the time.
It's got to cost something.
He's got to think about it real hard.
He has to think about it real hard?
He's been pretty focused on the butt monsters though.
It seems like his output of horcrux's should be lower.
Is that's true?
He's not great at thinking either.
He's not great at thinking.
Okay. Okay.
A weakness is thinking.
Got it.
Maybe we hit him with some riddles.
Yeah.
That's a terrible idea.
All right, Henry.
Can I ask, Henry,
do you know what that the little carnation
that your brother used to wear?
Oh, you got that?
Oh, yeah.
That's what he uses to make the horcrux's.
[cheering]
Okay. So we know he can't make any more as long as we have it.
Yeah. And I want to make a horcrux for myself, I guess.
What?
Why?
Is that bad? Why is that bad?
It's a good idea, right?
Another party member, I guess.
Have you don't that before?
Well, no.
You're going to have to think about it real hard.
It's tough.
All right. Well, then I'm [mumbling]
Wait. Am I awake yet?
Yeah. You're conscious.
Oh, I'm conscious?
Do we all have full--
Yeah. You guys are at full health.
Full health? All right.
Cool.
Can you make me like a handsome horcrux.
What?
Looking to be in a committed monogamous relationship.
Oh, no.
It's not in my powers.
I was going to say,
if you have to think real hard to create the horcrux,
I'm going to convince you that this is the opportunity
to use one of those nine magic rocks.
Why was my--
I hit the little thing where I like put my chair down.
[laughter]
Nine. Whoop.
Is that--
Well, Henry, what do these magic rocks do?
Well, I ain't never seen no magic rocks.
Exactly.
They were on the sundress lady-man person.
Oh, Barg?
-Yeah. -Barg?
They were Barg's stones.
Yeah. I don't know what he's doing with those.
Okay.
How many horcrux's do you know about,
regardless of whether your knowledge is complete?
Oh, hmm... I know at least three or four.
Okay.
You said Brenda.
You knew about Barg.
You knew about the dog, which we haven't seen yet.
-Yeah. -We killed two of those three.
Is there another one that you know about?
Yeah. There's that phone.
He's got a little phone that talks.
A phone that talks?
Yeah. It's a little talking phone.
Is it a rotary phone?
No. It's like a Nokia, like a little--
Oh, man.
It's tough.
He keeps it on himself
or it's like his phone or just a phone?
It's just a phone.
Was there a glowing rock that explodes?
Oh, did he prank you with that rock?
Yeah.
He pranked us good.
He pranked us pretty good.
Yeah. He got you, huh?
Henry, are you one of the horcrux's?
No. I'm just his brother.
Okay.
That does though sound like a thing a horcrux would say.
And he's been alive for a really long time.
I'm his older brother.
I was around before he was around.
No, you just said he was your little brother.
Is he your horcrux?
No.
He's my little brother.
Is there any sort of interlocking system of horcrux's?
What you getting at here?
You trying to kill me?
No.
I'm trying to decide whether or not we should kill you.
Yeah. I don't like that.
I ain't going to talk to you no more.
-All right. -Lee.
Well, thanks for the catfish and eggs.
Hey, it was just a prank, Henry.
-Good one, Lee. -Yeah.
I'm not buying that.
He walks away.
All right, well... He's not helpful.
That's true.
Okay, we just woke up.
Get our stuff together and go to Catfish City.
-Cool. -Go to the catfish city.
I'm so down with this.
[laughter]
You've seen the lake, right?
Yes.
So why don't we just teleport to the lake?
Now, Henry can't help us.
But, that's fine.
That's fine. I know where it is.
He told us.
Yeah. Yeah.
I teleport to the lake with everybody holding hands.
So you guys are at the edge of the lake.
Good.
Ron, why don't you go check it out?
Yeah, okay.
It's right in the center.
Yeah.
So farewell.
I fly to the center of the lake.
And guys, if I don't come back,
don't come looking for me.
-Okay. -Okay.
All right, no problem.
[laughter]
Wish me luck.
Good luck!
-Good luck. -Thank you.
-Yeah, good luck. -Best of luck.
Oh, thanks, Roger.
-You're welcome. -Okay.
Bye.
I swim down into the--
All right. So you dive into the water.
It's a really murky lake, but with your catfish vision,
you can see close to the bottom,
it looks like there is a small village down there.
Oooh. Wow.
This is my homeland.
[laughs]
So I swim down and I see some stuff.
What do I see?
Yeah. It looks like there's a--
All of these little houses are made with mud.
They're just mud piles with holes in them.
There is one that has a sign on it that says "City Hall."
There's one that says "Courthouse"
and there's one that says "Jail."
That's it.
Other than that, it's just a bunch of little mud houses.
Wow.
It's a real small town vibe here.
I go to the City Hall and knock on the door.
It's just a hole in a pile of mud.
I swim into the City Hall hole.
Okay. There's a bunch of catfish in there,
arguing about something.
They're arguing about whether or not they should expand the city
and what kind of like vibe they want for their town.
Do we want to build this town up
or do we want to keep it like the small-town vibe?
We don't want a bunch of tourists coming here.
It's a pretty heated argument right now.
Yeah, okay.
So I come up to them and ask and introduce myself.
Hi, I'm Ron, a female flying catfish from up top,
the air village.
Everyone looks up you and a couple of them scowl,
like, "What're you doing here?"
Well, I just-- I have a problem.
I accidentally got turned into a catfish by--
Accidentally.
[laughter]
Shh, Lee. I can hear you from down here.
Sorry. Sorry.
[laughter]
And I just--
I kind of want to go back to my original form.
What's your original form?
A human being.
Hmm.
You guys know how to do that?
Does any of you catfish know magic?
I mean, there's a wizard.
I guess she's more of a witch, that lives up in the hills.
She could turn you back into a human.
Oh.
Yeah. Well, she left.
[laughter]
I knew of her, Sarah Whitmore.
Oh, yeah. That's her.
She's gone?
Yeah. She left.
One of the buses from camp took her home.
Oh, no.
She protected our village.
Yeah.
Well, hey, you know what?
I've got a group of really strong friends
and we would love to protect a village.
So we can take over for her if you just give me some--
give me my legs.
I'll sing you a song.
Well, I mean, maybe one of her books
had the secret to turning someone into a human.
Oh, yeah.
She took all her books, but I actually--
I know what's inside--
I know the secret of those books.
Thoughts become things.
If you hold a thought in your mind,
you can create it into reality.
Like, say I'm looking for a parking space--
You're the craziest fish that we've ever met.
[laughter]
So there's no one down here that can help me out?
I mean, not down here.
No, Sarah's the one that can help you.
Oh, boy.
She doesn't exist.
Well, is there any doctor fish here?
Oh, yeah. We got a doctor.
I love doctors.
Where's he at or she?
She's at her house.
She's at her house?
Okay.
Can you tell me-- Okay.
So I swim out--
Carry on, guys.
Well, I recommend that you--
Y'all start arguing again.
Keep the small-town vibe.
[laughter]
So I swim over to the doctor's house
and swim into the mud hole.
Yeah. There's a sign outside where it says, "Doctor's house."
Okay.
Swim into the mud hole and there's a doctor there.
Yeah. There's a very attractive female catfish in there.
[laughing]
Hi.
I go up very--
Oh, hello. How can I help you?
--demurely.
Well, I have a little bit of a problem.
I was accidentally turned into a flying catfish
and I'm thinking about making the transition
to identify as human.
Do you guys do those kind of operations here?
It's a small town here.
Never really had use for surgeries like that.
I don't even know if they exist.
Oh.
Yeah. Well, they exist.
See, there's this thing called "The Secret,"
and if you just hold a thought into your head,
it can become reality.
So if you can imagine it, it can be real.
I mean, I could try, but you might die.
I'm totally okay with that.
[laughter]
I'm ready to go.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Do you want to just do it right now?
Yes, please.
Give it a go.
[laughter]
Come into my office.
She takes you into a little room and there's a table.
Next to it is like a little nitrous tank.
She's like, "Just start breathing deeply from this
and this and count backwards from 100
and hopefully, when you wake up,
you'll be a human or hopefully you wake up."
I breath the nitrous and go off into a dream.
I start saying all the truths.
Yeah. You dream that you're a human again,
frolicking through a field with Beauregard.
Back on the beach,
I am beginning to worry that we let Ron go alone.
[laughter]
I'm realizing that there are several scenarios
in which he does not come back.
One of them, just he falls in love with a catfish
and he just stays down there.
Or just like a rock or something, who knows?
Yeah, just anything.
All right. So I'm going to roll this.
If it is 75 or below, that's good.
All right.
Cool. So it takes about two minutes.
[laughter]
Skilled doctor.
Very skilled doctor.
Ron, you awake
and you are floating on like a little barge on the lake
and you're floating towards the shore.
You guys see him kind of starting to wake up,
floating over towards you guys.
What's he look like?
He looks like pretty much like Ron, pretty much.
There's a few differences.
Does he still have a catfish mouth
or fins or anything?
No, he's got like a mustache that's kind of catfish--
Oh, that's cute.
Do I have gills like water world?
No. I mean, you have scarring where gills used to be.
Ron!
Your arms are also much smaller.
[laughter]
Hey, guys! Come on.
I'm coming to shore. Give me a hug.
Yeah, all right.
I can't really fit my arms around.
Yeah. You can't give them a full hug.
Sorry.
Well, mission accomplished, Ron.
Good job, Ron.
Thanks, everybody.
How do you feel?
It's good to be back.
It's sad that I can't fly.
I don't have any magical powers anymore,
but I'll tell you, there's a magical world down there
where they're building--
Very cosmopolitan?
Well, it's got a small-town vibe.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Ron, give me a power check.
Yeah. You feel terrible,
like a sharp pain in your stomach
and you throw up a bunch of fish eggs.
Your babies!
Oh.
They're still here.
Can they still be hatched?
Give me a brains check.
Oh, nice.
Oh.
You are confident that your fish babies have all died.
Oh, no.
And that's where we'll end today's game.
No!
So tune in next time to find out what other weird shit happens
at this camp site.
[laughs]
Oh, that's really sad and dark.
Just ended in abortion.
Yeah, that was the most convoluted abortion
there's ever been.
I'd call it more of a miscarriage.
Yeah, I'd guess it'd be more-- Yeah.
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