I literally just spilt glitter.
All over!
Real queer lyfe!
There's glitter everywhere ALWAYS. You can never get rid of it.
[upbeat music]
Hello, my name is Jackson Bird and today is
National Coming Out Day!
If you want to learn more about the history of the holiday and get some advice on coming
out or how to react when someone comes out to you, you can watch the video I made last
year for part of my Queerstory series.
But today, I want to make a video specifically for anyone who just came out today.
If someone came out to you, share this video with them!
If you came out today, welcome to the family!
This is your introductory video to out and proud queer life.
I'm going to tell you everything you need to know.
So listen closely.
So now that you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you may start noticing certain
superpowers that our cis heteronormative pals do not possess – chiefly among them, the
ability to rattle off really long initialisms with grace.
LGBTQIA+ whaaaaat!
Don't be alarmed if your vocabulary suddenly includes an increase in puns.
Queerly beloved, we are gathered here to gay.
(laughs) I'd make more queer puns, but I can never keep a straight face.
(audience groaning)
This is just your standard level power, keeping you in tip top fighting shape for when you
gotta go into battle in which case you'll be able to use your new super power, witty
clapbacks at haters.
It's super effective.
You've also now been endowed with a complete knowledge of the astrological zodiac, an unironic
appreciation of rainbow, and the superhuman ability to totally own alternative lifestyle
haircuts.
Now onto some housekeeping notes:
Be sure to download the GayOS 2.1 software update to recalibrate your gaydar for optimum
safety, solidarity, and cutie perusal.
(wink)
By now you should have received a copy of The Gay Agenda in the mail.
And uh, be careful when you open the package as it is filled with glitter.
Though don't worry about it too much.
Now that you're out, you will constantly be finding glitter in your house, on your
clothes, on your skin without any recollection of how it got there.
Also Included in the package is a rainbow flag, some pastel hair dye, a box set of Steven
Universe blu rays, a Tegan and Sara album, this petition for Wonder Woman to be openly
bi in the next film, and a copy of the documentary Paris Is Burning because if you're going
to be vogue-ing at queer night clubs now, you best know who created vogueing.
And it wasn't Madonna.
You'll also receive a list of all of the homophobic and transphobic legislators in
your local area, along with their addresses, phone numbers, and some suggested talking
points for every time you have to call them
Uh hi, yeah, my name is – RECORDING: INSERT YOUR FIRST NAME
- I'm a constituent of RECORDING: INSERT YOUR DISTRICT
- and I'm calling to urge you to vote against RECORDING: INSERT LATEST DICKBAG MOVE CONGRESS
IS MAKING
- But wait! There's more!
Also in your Queer Starter Kit, you'll find: 5 pieces of poster board and some glitter
pens for making protest signs, a coupon for 15% off all organic body soaps at your nearest
local feminist co-op, a bedazzler, some extra glitter, and a jean jacket, complete with
pronoun buttons.
Oh and if you're trans, don't worry.
You'll be getting the Transgender Expansion Pack in the mail soon.
It includes such fun additions as: noise-cancelling headphones so you don't hear misgendering
and verbal harassment, a power-up bonus for calling even MORE legislators to remind them
that you exist, and a Marauder's Map style smartphone app download for finding trans-friendly
bathrooms anywhere you go – it even includes features like a birth certificate with the
gender you identify as so you can get into those tough to access bathrooms.
And a realistic fart noisemaker for covering up those unwanted sounds like the opening
of sanitary napkins.
And if all else fails, your expansion pack also includes this reusable titanium bottle,
which you can pee in at your own convenience anywhere!
Who even needs bathrooms?!
Stay safe kids!
Alright, all joking aside, I have put a list of real resources down in the description
box for you to turn to when the homophobia and transphobia of the world gets to be too
much or if you find yourself in need of shelter, legal protection, or other basic necessities.
Sometimes coming out is dangerous.
Sometimes just existing as an LGBTQIA+ person is dangerous.
But I hope the start of this video also showed you that it can be super fun and that you
have a lot to be proud of.
The most important thing to remember is that you are worthy of love.
Even if your family and everyone in your social circle is unaccepting right now, the LGBTQIA+
community has an amazing history of found family.
We're here for you.
And we're so happy to have you.
So happy National Coming Out Day to everyone!
If someone came out to you today, please share this with them and maybe it will brighten
their day.
And if you liked it, please hit that like button, comment below, share it on social
media, and subscribe for more videos like this one.
That is it for now.
I wish all of you nothing but good things.
Thank you so much for watching and I'll see ya next time!
[upbeat music]
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