today's video is for all the women out there who are feeling isolated we're
going to talk about why it happens and what we can do about it so if you'd like
to know more please keep watching hi I'm Schellea this is fabulous50s a
lifestyle channel that explores fashion beauty and lifestyle for women over 50
and if you're a woman over 50 click subscribe and click the bell and you'll
be alerted every time there's a new video and all of them will relate to you
today's topic is really important because as a woman over 50 you are most
likely to be on a roller coaster of emotions and thought processes that just
don't serve you it's so easy for us to feel alone and not enough and when you
feel isolated everything bad becomes magnified when we see others on social
media everyone's life looks shiny and bright and magnificent and we can often
feel that we just haven't done enough and that our lives are nowhere near as
good as theirs and then we start making unrealistic comparisons to the person
that you see in these highly edited photos it just seems on the surface that
everybody else's life is way better than ours and then this can create anxiety
which makes us feel even more isolated many of us are experiencing menopausal
symptoms that we just don't understand our bodies are changing our moods are
swinging and our health seems to be changing it's kind of like we're very
different to what we knew ourselves to be add to that that our children are
living home and they don't need us the same way that they used to that's why
today I want to talk about some really useful ways to help bring us out of
isolation and feel connected again to feel useful to feel valued and to feel
excited but it's up to you you've got to do the work there's no substitute for
actually just going out there and doing it you've got to make this happen and
you can't make this sort of thing happen with the belief that you're not good
enough so here are my three suggestions for you the first one is a really cool
trick that you can use if you're feeling isolated in your life
imagine somebody who you wouldn't think would be isolated in their life like
someone like Oprah and imagine they switched out with you they will take on
your body and your situation that you're living right now do you think they would
allow themselves to remain isolated for long what would they do in your
situation and what are they doing differently to what you're doing right
now this is such a cool trick because it's
all about mindset just by thinking about this right now what you've done is you
have just accessed what you think their mindset would be so next time you're
feeling isolated ask yourself what would that person do in this situation right
now this kind of sounds really really simple but when you start accessing what
somebody else would do in your situation you're activating different parts of
your brain and when you do that you can start going and making different choices
and have the courage to do something different to what you're already doing
the second thing I want to say is there is no substitute for actually going out
there and taking some actions so this is what you can do to stop feeling isolated
you can join the church a gym a gardening club you can offer some of
your assistance to like a young mom who doesn't have family support around her
when you're helping someone else and not focusing on yourself and your problems
it's impossible to feel isolated you can invite someone to coffee make the effort
and don't wait for other people to call you you be the one you can contribute to
your favorite YouTube channels and just join in on the conversation below start
talking to the other women and look after the relationships that you've
already got spend more time on those spend more time thinking about what you
can do with your friends or do for another person and the third thing you
can do is to find a buddy I call it an accountability buddy this has really
helped me in business it keeps me on track to grow and improve and it helps
hold me to a higher standard you can do this too so here's what you
do you set some guidelines for a new relationship if you want things to be
different in your life you've got to do things differently to get different
results it might be difficult and it probably will but you are worth it and
to get out of isolation it's worth it this is going to be the kind of
relationship where you connect with another person and share your successes
your failures and your dreams and your job is to hold each other to a higher
standard ok so here's some guidelines find one person and ask them to be like
your cheerleader your buddy your person and you and your buddy will help hold
each other accountable to all of the commitments that you've made like what
are you going to do differently moving forward you become accountable to them
and they become accountable to you the main purpose and the only purpose really
of this new relationship is to uplift and support each other so when you pick
your buddy you've got to commit to these guidelines otherwise it won't work you
or they can't talk negatively about anybody and that includes yourself you
set enough time for both of you to each talk about what went great during the
week and shine a light on the things that you did really well you've got to
be a great listener so you can't allow for things like criticism judgment and
sarcasm to even enter the conversation you have to make a rule that that's not
going to happen and then each week set one goal for yourself that's going to
push you past your comfort zone something that's uncomfortable and
something that you're not doing now you're going to become the cheerleader
for somebody else and someone else is going to become the cheerleader for you
and the most important thing is you're going to become the person who stops a
conversation cold if your person starts beating up on themselves start with a
once-a-week conversation with its person by email or video conference or phone
calls and see how you go you may want to increase it two more times but one time
a week is a great starting point so with all that in mind I'm going to give you
some ways to initiate this with another person one thing you can do is share
this video with someone that you already know who might be interested in being
your buddy you could connect with some of the ladies here already in the
community you could go to someone on Facebook or Instagram that you might be
following or I could start up a group here if anyone was interested in that
like a private group or you could ask somebody that you already know like
what's the harm in asking they could say no and then you could ask somebody else
you've got to get started and it is uncomfortable but anything was doing to
push you out of your comfort zone is going to start off being uncomfortable
particularly when you're feeling so isolated but doing these things is going
to help lift you out of that and you are just going to start enjoying your life a
whole lot more isolation is a mindset and it's something that we're telling
ourselves over and over and over and over again and we start to believe it
but there is a way out of it and it's baby steps every single day doing that
one thing that makes you feel uncomfortable
Brene Brown said if you have more than one true friend in your life you have
more than your fair share and for a no brown if you don't know about her is
amazing and i'm going to leave some links to her youtube videos below
because she's just really empowering and smart and she's got so many answers but
it's true we all think that everybody has so many friends and so many
opportunities and so much more of everything than we have but it's not
true that's why so many of us feel isolated because we don't have that one
person so why not reach out to somebody today and ask them if they'd like to
join you to become your person it takes a really long time to build that
particular kind of trust but you've got to start somewhere and you may as well
start today if not now when are you going to start so many people care I
know that for a fact I see the comments from all of this community here at
fabulous 50s I see how caring you are towards each other so there's absolutely
thinks stopping you today from making one small change it only has to be this
big and when you do something small outside your comfort zone magic happens
don't give up because if something in your life
isn't working out the way you want it to try something new and if that doesn't
work try something else you are so worth it you have so much to offer and don't
hold back all of your gifts by isolating yourself from the whole world please
give a thumbs up if this was any use to you at all and why not get out of your
comfort zone altogether and share it with someone who you'd like to be your
buddy thank you so much for watching and have a beautiful week
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