you're a man of action you live life to the fullest embrace your fears and
boldly chart your own path when life knocks you down you get back up one more
time every time you are not easily deterred defeated rugged resilient
that's strong this is your life this is who you are this is who you will become
at the end of the day and after all is said and done you can call yourself a
man gentlemen what is going on today my name is Ryan Michler and I am the host
in the foundry this podcast the order of man I want to welcome you to what I and
thousands of men across the planet will consider the best best podcast available
for men we're talking about all the issues important you health
relationships leadership confidence which we'll be talking about today
business finances anything else that may pertain to you as a man now today is our
Friday field notes where you get to listen to me for the next I don't know
10 or 15 minutes or so but if you don't already know we also have an interview
show where we are interviewing the world's most successful men on every
front these are guys like Brett McKay Andy Frisella Jocko Willink Grant Cardone Aubrey
Marcus and of course so many more so if you haven't already subscribed I would
encourage you to go ahead and get that taken care of right now
just subscribe right now and if you would please please while you're there
leave us an iTunes rating a review this goes such a long way in helping us
spread the mission of the order of men which I know a lot of you know by now is
to reclaim what it means to be a man in a society that seems to have distorted
it quite a bit and frankly just dismissed it for far too long now I only
have a couple of quick announcements before I give you a crash course in
confidence today first if you would make sure that you get your ticket to the
order of man meetup we've got six seats left that's it six seats left that's
gonna be held January 26 and 27 2018 so just in the next couple of weeks here we've
got 75 men coming in from all over the country for brotherhood and camaraderie
and the tools and the insights and the resources were providing then of course
the connections to help you on your journey to become a better protector a
better provider and a better presider you can register for the event at order
of mancom slash nashville but again do it quickly since we only have those
those six seats left and the other announcement the book guys
is hitting the shelves on February 1st it's titled sovereignty the battle for
the hearts and minds of men and I could not be more excited about the way this
thing turned out my publisher sent it to me the interior the exterior it's it's
beautiful and I hope that the words match the cover and the interior and the
way it's laid out and the design work you guys are going to be proud to hold
this book and of course the message within the book itself there have been a
handful of people who have read it and I'm absolutely blown away I'm humbled
with and by the feedback that we've received so far and I know what's going
to change men's lives which in turn will change the lives of families and
neighborhoods and businesses communities so with that said if you are going to be
at the meetup in Nashville you are going to get a signed copy of the book before
it's even available to the public if not you're gonna have to wait a couple more
days until it is available but in the meantime head to order of man dot com slash
book order of man dot com slash book to download the introductory chapter and
then you'll be signed up to be notified when the book is available all right
enough of that let's get into the conversation today on the topic of
confidence just so you know a lot of these topics in conversations on the
Friday field notes come from the discussions happening inside the closed
Facebook group which you can join at facebook.com slash groups slash order of
man now one topic that I see talked about more than just about any other is
that of building confidence it seems that more and more men are lacking the
confidence they desire in their lives I think there's a lot of reasons for this
so today I thought I'd share with you why we seem to be experiencing more of
that and then of course give you some very quick and actionable tips in order
to develop confidence and of course the results the results that stem from it
more than anything guys we've got to understand that you are not entitled to
confidence I know you may think that you know that but it's amazing to me how
many men seem to think that confidence is something other people are just born
with and that some men just inherently have some level of confidence I think
there's probably some truth to that some men are probably born with a
predisposition to be more confident in their lives but I believe the bigger
variable the bigger variable here to building and developing confidence is
the ability to take action despite your fear see it's
my belief that confidence is the natural byproduct of action a lot of guys seem
to think it's the confidence that comes first it's not it's courage in order to
foster confidence in your life you need to display courage to take action
nothing more nothing less you know men will ask how do I get more
confident around women or how do I gain confidence in my ability to start a
business or ask for a promotion or take calculated risks or just confidence in
myself and the answer is that confidence is earned it's earned by taking part in
the very activity that you lack confidence in so if you want to gain
confidence with women you need to spend more time with women if you want to gain
confidence in your ability to start a business you need to start a business
and ask for people to do business with you it's going to be awkward at first of
course you're going to look a little foolish but remember the guys who have
confidence have already gone through that stage it's a mistake to believe
that they haven't gone through that I remember going into the gym for example
the first time in probably five or six years I still have the pictures to prove
it in fact you know I was so hesitant to go in because I knew I knew how bad it
had gotten and I thought people were going to laugh at me or think less of me
or whatever lies whatever lies that I have conjured up to keep myself
comfortable to keep myself complacent but I went anyways I put all that fear
aside because what I wanted which was to be in shape was more important to me at
that point than the embarrassment of stepping into the gym for the first time
in years so you've got to ask yourself how badly do you want it if the answer
is I want it badly then you've got to be willing to put that fear aside recognize
that it's going to be a little bit uncomfortable maybe a lot uncomfortable
and take pride in the fact that you did it anyways and then that pride of
overcoming what you resisted doing is what Foster's confidence in your ability
to go back at it again tomorrow and the next day and the next and the
next the biggest hurdle I had to overcome in my desire to be more
confident was this actual tendency that we all have to
choose the easy path and not that doing things the easy way is wrong but when
you're faced with two choices the status quo or pushing yourself outside of your
comfort zone the only way to build the confidence you want is to choose choose
to step outside of your comfort zone don't lie to yourself and think it
should be easy or dismiss another man's confidence is something that guy just
inherently has recognized that it's hard recognize that building confidence takes
effort not just for you but for everyone and face that reality then you
consciously make a choice one of the things I ask when I'm facing
difficult work or circumstances is will the action I'm about to take help me or
hinder me on my path to become a better man it's a great question to ask
yourself if you want a promotion ask yourself if asking for that said
promotion will help or hinder you if you want to date ask yourself if asking for
that date will help you or hinder you if you want to be more confident with your
fitness just ask yourself if going to the gym is going to help or hinder you
if you want to be more confident with other people ask yourself if going to
that networking event is going to help you or hinder you then you act
accordingly in spite of your uneasiness and in spite of your fear gentlemen I
know that it's not easy I was not confident in myself for a lot of years
it's not something where you can simply flip a switch it takes years of effort
it's almost like that adage what came first the chicken or the egg you may not
have the confidence now but you don't need it right now
you don't need the confidence right now what you need is courage courage the
courage to act in spite of the feelings that have been keeping you back for so
long only when you're courageous enough to take bold action have you earned and
have the right to that confidence that comes with it so guys as I sign out
today please if you would do this send me a message tag me on instagram tag me
on facebook or twitter with your post about the things that you are doing to
old more confidence in your life it's about doing it's about the action of
courage I love seeing these success stories and
watching you men do what is required of you it's inspiring to me and it goes a
long way on my own personal journey to become a better man now guys remember
again as we wind down today six spots left for the event in Nashville that's
on the 26th and 27th 2018 of this month January you can get registered at order
of man dot com slash Nashville and then the book that will be available in a few
weeks February first which you can get the introductory chapter at order of man dot com
slash book until next week gentlemen take action build confidence and become
the man you are meant to be thank you for listening to the order of man
podcast you're ready to take charge of your life to be more of the man you were
meant to be we invite you to join the order at order of man dot com





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