hi a happy Sunday if you're watching
live happy April Fool's Day happy Easter
Sunday
happy day so first of all I want to
thank you all everybody who who
commented on my last couple of posts we
really got an amazing number of comments
and the last post which was the
announcement that the movie of my book
of my story dying to be me is about to
be made and I am so excited about that
like truly I am and I'm working with an
amazing team of people who are so
respectful of keeping the story
authentic and and that really means a
lot to me to keep the story authentic
because I don't know if you know this
but I'll share it now anyway something
from quite a few years ago before my
story got published before the book got
published by Hay House I was actually
approached by someone else prior to that
who wanted to help me get my book
published and she had said that she
would like to she feels that my story
deserves to be published as a book and
she wanted to get it get my story into
good shape to submit it to publishers
and as she did that she started to
change the story and she changed a lot
of the elements about it including what
I experienced in the other realm and
when I said to her that this is not my
story you've changed my story and she
said that she needed to do that because
the way my story was she said it won't
sell and I said to her I'm not sharing
my story to sell books I'm I came back
from dying to change a paradigm to help
people to share what I have to share my
you know I have to share it the way I
experienced it whether it sells books or
not anyway my relationship with her did
not work out for that very reason
because she actually kept saying what I
didn't like was she kept saying but the
American market won't buy this they
won't buy it because you are a Hindu
person and you have to change this and
change that and I was like whoa okay
I am not changing my story for any
particular market or for anyone's money
so fast forward Wayne Dyer discovered my
story and when I spoke to hey house I
said you know I don't want to change my
story for the market and they said no
we're not asking you to that's why we
wanted your story because of what it is
and who you are and I said great I'm
going with you and then so with the
movie people same sort of thing it was
really important that they kept the
story authentic and of course I
understand they have to use creative
license to get it across to elicit the
right feelings in people but yet they're
going to honor the story for what it is
and not change it just to suit the
market so to speak so that was really
important for me and I'm so thrilled as
to how respectful they are I just wanted
to say that to give them a shout out
now today excuse me I have a really
important topic I want to talk about mmm
because people write to me people write
on Facebook and oh and if you're
watching this live please tell me where
you're from who are you say hello I love
getting comments I am going to take
questions in about 10 minutes or so so
please write in your questions Danny my
boo who is helping me behind the scenes
he's gonna punch up questions on I have
a little screen here I hope it all works
technology sometimes is so unpredictable
I'm terrible with technology so he's
gonna punch up questions on the screen
if it doesn't work he's going to shout
them out at me but if we don't take your
questions please don't take it
personally
sometimes they go by so fast sometimes
there's more questions than I can handle
I always go back and read your comments
and questions later
so that it gives me ideas of what to
create videos on and what to talk about
and what it is you guys want to know
more about so please please don't take
it personally if we don't actually
address your comment because truly there
are too many and Danny's just trying to
pick the best ones or the ones that are
most relevant for this conversation
and remember I do go back and read them
all later and I really do try and create
videos for the most important questions
that come up so today's question which
you will probably already see on on the
title of the video is can we help our
loved ones to heal from illness or is it
something that they can only do for
themselves now I always say that the
real the true healing has to come from
inside it has to come from inside the
person who is unwell who is going
through the illness it's an inside job
because they have to get these insights
or they have to get this feeling of oh
my gosh this is why I'm going through
this and they have to work through
things however however there are things
that the loved ones around them can do
and say and there are ways they can
support them so that the person going
through the illness gets the right
insights so in the one hand there are
things that we can do to help them and
support them to get the transformation
and the insights they need and also of
course just to support them physically
through their illness but also there are
things that the loved ones who are
around them should not do because it
kind of sets them back and so I want to
talk about these elements today so if
you have a loved one who's going through
an illness I think this will really help
you if you know somebody who is taking
care of a loved one who is going through
an illness I think this will help them
so please share this with them if you
are a caregiver I think this will help
you if you are a healer a nurse even a
doctor I think this will help you so
anyway let's get started so the number
one thing that I would ask you to do if
you are taking care of a loved one is
help them get excited about life again
like truly help them get excited about
life you know usually an illness is like
a wake-up call or an accumulation of
being tired of the way life is for the
person going through it you know they've
taken on things that they don't want to
they've lost their way emotionally
spiritually they're not on the path that
they intended to come here to be on
they've kind of lost they've started to
become somebody who they're not they're
they're people pleasers they're doormats
so it's all these kinds of things and
they don't know how to get excited about
life again
also a lot of people who go through
health challenges who get repeated
health challenges like it might be
somebody for whom they have a chronic
illness that's gone on for years or
somebody for whom they're getting cancer al iwj 0:07:22.419,0:07:27.039 for the third fourth fifth time I mean I
know of people who contact me and say I
don't know what to do I'm getting this
is like my fifth time or my sixth time
and I thought I was done with it so
here's the thing for people for whom
it's repeated or it's chronic and it's
been going on for years it's like they
don't know how to be a well person
that's really what's going on so the
more that we just focus on the actual
physical illness which is what we do
when somebody gets ill the minute they
get ill we're all jumping in and saying
oh my god you're sick you have to take
these meds you have to go through this
protocol the whole focus is on the
illness this and if this is the only way
they know how to be a victim of illness
then this is what they will continue to
be we have to help them be a well person
again and we do this by getting them
excited about being a person who's well
by getting them excited about life and
living life so it's not about focusing
on healing their illness but as a
caregiver as a friend as a family member
your job is to help them focus on
getting excited about life what do they
love to do what are their hobbies help
them to laugh take them to the beach
take them on a car ride do fun stuff so
that is really important if you if you
are someone who
has a kind of a coach personality a
healer personality you can even go
deeper and delve into like what is it
that's burdening them in their life are
they the type of person that says yes
when they mean no maybe encourage them
to make a list of things that they've
taken on recently that they don't want
to that they haven't wanted to but
haven't been able to say no encourage
them to let go of those things one by
one let go of their burdens so basically
the number one way is help them to get
excited about life including helping
them to let go of their burdens and look
forward to life again ask them what
would you do if you had a clean bill of
health and then help them to do it say
what would you do to celebrate if today
yeah the doctor said you have a clean
bill of health
you don't want to go back to the old
life and the old person that you were
and help them to celebrate and live a
life of health and vibrancy and joy and
happiness so that's the number one thing
the number two thing is what not to do
and it's do not judge them do not judge
them if they look frail if they look
sick if they're not improving do not put
pressure on them do not make them feel
pressure that they need to see other
people because here's the thing a lot of
people that are sick even while they're
sick are still thinking of the people
around them they still have trouble
saying no even while they're sick
they're still taking on the duties and
the responsibilities of being a good
parent or a good wife or a good daughter
or a good friend they're still doing all
those things so do not judge them in
fact help them let go of those things
and remind them to take care of
themselves remind them to look to follow
their own joy and that they don't need
to look after other people and encourage
them tell them they're doing great so
let me give you some examples of how we
judge people if they're not improving
absolutely do not say like
oh my gosh you still look terrible or
you're still so sick and it may sound
weird the way I say it it's like who
would say such things believe me people
do and I went through that so I am
speaking from my own experience of
having a diagnosis of terminal cancer I
am NOT a doctor I am NOT somebody who
has studied how to treat people I am
speaking from my own experience of how
the way other people treated me how it
affected me I am Telling You what I
would want in terms of support knowing
what I know now if I had to go through
it again so this is where what I'm
saying come is coming from and I
remember that I went through a long
phase of not wanting to see anyone
because I didn't know what reaction I
would get I knew I looked sick I knew
not everyone agreed with the protocols I
was going through but more than anything
I needed support and I didn't feel I was
getting it from everyone and I didn't
feel safe around a lot of people I
didn't feel safe that they would say and
do the right things that I needed to
hear to support what I was going through
so I was very selective and I wanted to
be alone or just with my husband Danny
or with my immediate family members who
I trusted I didn't want to see visitors
so when people would send me messages or
try and call me and say they want to see
me it would put pressure on me and so
this is something I would say is that
when your loved one or the person who's
sick doesn't want to see people honor
that please honor that because the more
you force yourself on them the more
again you're putting pressure on them to
say yes when they mean no they're people
that are not going to fight very hard
and they're gonna do it and they're
gonna do it for you and it's actually
going to put even more pressure on them
and it's gonna drain them even more
that's what happened to me and I
remember one day when this couple friend
they were close friends of ours and I
didn't want to see anyone because they
were including them because I knew in
order to see them
they wanted to go out and have dinner
and I knew I would have to dress up and
I didn't want to face the public because
I really felt I looked terrible
I looked sick I was drawn completely
drawn and sick looking so finally one
day because they really said that oh you
know we need to see you it's been too
long
finally I gave in and I said okay let's
go out for lunch and I think it was a
Saturday or a Sunday and we went to a
restaurant and Danny and I were there
first and we were sitting there and then
when the couple showed up the lady the
wife when she looked at me she said oh
my god I didn't realize you were this
sick now that was the last thing I
needed to hear and I don't know what
made her say that I think she she was
just overwhelmed as to how sick I look
but that made me feel so awful about
myself because when I'd got dressed up
and come out I thought okay I don't look
so bad I'd convinced myself I didn't
look so bad but her reaction it was just
I just couldn't take it I went to the
bathroom and I started crying and of
course they knew something was wrong and
then she came in to the bathroom and
then she apologized to me but for me my...
it was over I couldn't eat I told Danny
that I need to excuse myself and then he
of course got up and he brought me home
and then I was too traumatized to
actually meet other people because their
reaction was so unpredictable so if you
know somebody is sick even if they're
deteriorating please please don't tell
them that please don't put any pressure
on them that they have to get well they
have to meet people they have to do this
please don't do that to them the best
thing you can do is just be there for
them number three and that's number
three your only job is to love them
through it that's it
love them through it support them
through it but the biggest element is
just love them love them unconditionally
where they are right now just love them
and really that is the best thing
that is the absolute best thing that you
can do and as I said you know make them
forget that they're sick don't treat
them like a sick person make them laugh
don't judge them if they want to drink
wine if they want to eat something fun
don't judge them for doing that because
those foods are not what made them sick
what made them sick was the pressure of
trying to live up to everybody else's
expectations so number three is loved
them through it so if I can repeat
number one is get them excited about
living number two is don't judge them
number three is love them and number
four really important take care of
yourself if you are tired if you are
drained if you are fearful about their
condition don't go near them don't go
near them because they can feel your
energy
you need to take care of yourself you
need to be in a place and in a position
where you can be strong enough to show
up make them feel joyful love them if
they want to cry on your shoulder you
need to have the energy and the strength
and enough charge in your own battery to
take that from them if they want to cry
on their shoulder if they want to trust
you so you need to charge your own
batteries so don't do it out of
obligation don't do it out of fear even
if it's your parent even if it's your
child you need to take care of yourself
you need to spend some time every day
charging your own batteries practicing a
random act of kindness for yourself
soaking in a tub doing whatever you do
and don't feel you're selfish for doing
it I know I did when my friend had
cancer and I was well I did not have
cancer I felt guilty doing anything for
myself to the point that I got so
drained that I got my own diagnosis so
don't do that
don't do that you don't need to be sick
to take care of yourself so take care of
yourself and then be there for others
remember on every airline you fly in it
says to put your own mask on before you
assist others
so this is something you really have to
do and number five if your loved one
does cross over I want you to remember
that they did not lose the fight it
wasn't a fight against their own body
our bodies are not war zones our bodies are
not something are not battlegrounds that
we have to win so if they do cross over
they did not lose they have gone to a
beautiful place and it was their time
they crossed over not because they don't
love you enough not because they don't
love life enough but for their own
reasons whatever they may be because
when they cross over they love you
unconditionally absolutely
unconditionally they love you for being
there they love you even if you've had a
falling out with somebody when they
cross over that's all gone they know
your heart they know what you feel about
them so they know you love them so when
they cross over you take care of
yourself take care of your own grief do
what you have to do but don't feel bad
for them they're in a beautiful place
and they are somewhere where they can
actually do more because very often
people cross over because they feel they
can do more from the other realm than
this realm
sometimes people cross over because it
is their time when it's their time it's
their time and people cross over they
choose different ways to cross over
sometimes an illness like cancer has
come to rescue someone from a life which
is no longer the life that they intended
to create so don't feel bad for them but
do take care of yourself and take all
the time you need to grieve and just
remember when someone crosses over they
haven't lost they haven't lost and
cancer is not an enemy it is your body
actually trying to tell you something
trying to rescue you from a situation
and your physical body is actually your
physical body loves you unconditionally
and is wise beyond you give it
credit for so thank you for listening in
I'm ready to take your questions I'm
going to look towards Danny to see if
he's got any questions and hooray
there's something that's been punched up
on the screen but I have to wear my
glasses Katherine
Dawnae Nickolson's question I was told
in a meditation that my back problems
spine are due to me being out of
spiritual alignment I can't be in
spiritual alignment all the time or
meditate all the time so how do I heal
this I love that question did you all
hear me Katherine has been told that her
back problems are due to being out of
spiritual alignment so she says she
can't be in spiritual alignment all the
time she can't meditate all the time so
how do i heal this so here's the thing I
want to tell you being in spiritual
alignment does not mean to do something
to go and meditate to learn about
spirituality that's what I used to think
I believed that I had to be more
spiritual meditate more read more
spiritual books in order to heal the
cancer in order to be more spiritual I
learned in a death for me to realize
this so I can't be that smart that being
yourself and being spiritual is one and
the same thing embracing spirituality
and embracing your own creativity
embracing your own heart is one and the
same thing so if someone says you're out
of spiritual alignment it means you are
out of alignment with your own self
it's not about meditating more or trying
to be more spiritual or trying to read
more spiritual books or listen to more
spiritual teachers no no no no no it's
about asking yourself what have I taken
on that's not actually mine what am I
saying yes to and I mean no what are how
do I unleash my own creativity and be
the person I came here to be what am i
passionate about what brings me joy have
I forgotten how to laugh have I
forgotten how to be happy when you are
happy you are in spiritual alignment
when you are following your calling
you are in spiritual alignment when you
are feeling joy when you're with people
you love when you are laughing when you
are joking when you are feeling light
liberated free when you are in love with
your life that is when you are in
spiritual alignment so I hope that
answers your question go pursue what you
love follow your heart follow your
passion and your back will be fine so
thanks for that question I'm sure your
question helped a lot of other people so
and thank you all for your comments as
well but I I'm happy to keep going for a
bit and take more questions from you any
more questions yes he says yes and he's
looking at them so when you're working
with me ah okay
Silvia Bellini my father is determined
to go as he does not want any further
treatment
we've got him into a fabulous hospice
and it's a case of waiting how can we
support him greetings from London hi
Sylvia thank you for writing in from
London so the best way to support him is
exactly what I said so whether a person
wants to go or doesn't want to go the
best way to support them is to support
them in living life and finding their
joy and just ask your dad every day what
does he want to do and I and respect his
choices of not wanting any more
treatment because here's the thing when
a person lets go and says I don't want
to live anymore do you know what they're
actually saying they're saying I don't
want to fight anymore that's what
they're saying it's saying I'm tired of
fighting that's why they're saying I
don't want to live anymore because to
them living equals fighting and it means
they're tired they're tired of either
fighting in their life like maybe they
fought to get to the position they're in
they fight to earn enough of a living in
their life and right now they're
fighting to stay alive because they
believe there's this enemy that is
that is racing against time to kill them
and to kill their bodies and the doctors
are racing against that enemy to kill
the enemy and in the interim this person
is forced to fight against this illness
and is feeling terrible and is feeling
tired and is kind of done with this
whole thing and ready to go so what's
really weird is that when the person
stops fighting and is actually ready to
go very often they end up out living the
time that they're given so take all the
pressure off take all the pressure off
fighting and the best way you can
support your dad is to support his
decision that he's ready to let go and
just help him to have fun and it doesn't
matter whether he's here for one day one
month one year just make every day count
ask him questions like hey Dad if you
had it all to do over again what would
you do differently listen to what he
says and help him to actually fulfill
some of the things that he regrets that
he didn't do help him create a bucket
list and fulfill the things on the
bucket list I actually wish that
everybody would fulfill their bucket
list or would create a bucket list and
start fulfilling it not wait until
they're about to die fulfill it while
they're living life that's what life is
for that's what it's about it's not
about it's not about living or fighting
it until you get a terminal illness and
then fighting the illness life really is
about living life to the fullest and
that's what embracing spirituality is so
thank you Sylvia and he's lucky to have
a daughter like you
speaking of bucket lists by the way we
had a great time on the cruise and I
loved cruises and that was just a couple
of weeks ago it was fabulous so one of
the things on my bucket list is to go to
Alaska someday and to see those ice
glaciers so how many of you have Alaska
on your bucket list so I'm gonna
manifest that so let's do an Alaskan
cruise next year who's with me I'd love
to hear from you if you are because
that's definitely something on my bucket
list and Alaskan cruise so stay tuned
because I'm gonna see if I can make that
happen
do we have more questions and also by
the way next month I will be traveling
all over Europe I'll be doing seven
cities in Europe and I always love to
see people I always love to see you guys
in person and give you a hug
so if you're around you know check out
so I think I will post the link in this
thread of where I'm gonna be it's gonna
be seven cities including Bristol UK
Paris France Switzerland Basel
Switzerland three cities in Germany and
Croatia love going back to all these
places just love all of them and I love
seeing all of you so we have a question
from Matthew Matthew Aronson hello two
of my grandparents are going through
cancer treatment I was wondering if you
can give me some advice on what I can do
to help them exactly what I've said I'm
guessing yes you wrote this question
about 10-15 minutes ago
so I would ask you to listen to what
I've already said love them through it
help them to have fun if they are
wanting to end their treatments if it's
too much for them I would support them
in that not telling you to do that I am
NOT a doctor so I'm not in a position to
say what they should or shouldn't do in
terms of treatments but I really really
feel that you know a people should be
honored to follow what they believe
works with them works for them I
remember when I was going through cancer
and it was still at the early stage and
I wanted to try some natural
modalities and I remember people calling
me phoning me and actually said don't be
crazy don't do that do the chemotherapy
and this one person I remember was
calling and calling me and saying
have to do the chemotherapy you just
have to do it don't you know don't fall
for the crazy stuff and she was she was
like really so determined to force me
that way that it instilled this fear in
me of the route that I wanted to follow
what ended up happening was I feared
both ways because I already had this
fear of chemotherapy and now I had
developed a fear of the alternative
because of this person who kept saying
it ironically many many years later and
this is sad this is not something that I
take pleasure in saying to you but but
she learned for herself when a very
close family member of hers was going
through cancer and the conventional
treatments of chemotherapy did not help
this person she was
sadly watching them deteriorate and I
was there to help her through it and in
fact her family member went through
alternatives and was trying everything
but my point is that chemotherapy
whether somebody chooses it or doesn't
choose it it's not an exact medical
science is not an exact science when it
comes to medicine and doctors will agree
I know there are many doctors that have
written to me many doctors that have
read my book many doctors who I know
personally today because of sharing my
story and they would actually agree it's
not an exact science and people are
starting to have to get deeper into the
psyche of the person who's sick and
understanding what is it that they want
what is it that they've taken on the
burdens they've taken on that they're
ready to let go of and sometimes one of
the burdens even is in trying to stay
healthy so thank you so much for that
question Matthew your grandparents are
lucky to have you as a grandson and to
have you caring for them and do we have
any more questions or yes great I see a
nod from Danny so let's go on to the
next question
Sally Francis Oh
the screen has gone blank so uh it's
back Sally Francis I was told to hurry
up and die by Wow by my elder brother
when I was in hospital I think some
people just can't cope with illness and
are afraid
it makes them have to face their own
vulnerability wow that is amazing and
I'm glad that you didn't die and I'm
hoping Sally that you are not going to
die anytime soon it's time for you to
find your passion live your life and I
will say that you know if any of you out
there are with people who do not want
you to live who cannot cope with your
illness please free them from your life
please free them from your life if you
are going through an illness surround
yourself with people who will support
you please surround yourself with people
who will support you very often the
people who don't support you in most
cases I'm not sure about your brother
Sally because he told you to hurry up
and die that's terrible but in most
cases people who don't support you are
not doing it out of any malice they're
not doing it because they want you to
die it's because they they themselves
are ignorant they themselves feel guilty
they themselves are drained just like my
friend who told me that I have to go for
chemotherapy and she kept saying it and
calling me and and telling me that I was
crazy to try the alternative routes and
telling me that I was crazy and they're
not gonna work she did it out of an
ignorance and it really instilled it
exacerbated my fear tremendously of what
was happening because she really made me
feel that it was huge and the cancer and
nothing can heal it except to to come at
it at like a battleground with this
artillery and so that was out of
ignorance not out of malice she actually
thought she was doing it from a place of
love so so this is why release the
people in your life who are not
supporting you through your illness and
don't be afraid
instruct people how you want to be
supported or share this video with them
if you're gonna support someone who is
ill be on their side give them what they
need help them to take the burdens off
their shoulder help them live laugh
enjoy life doesn't matter how long
they're gonna be here for or not if you
can't do that you shouldn't be around
them you shouldn't be caring for them
and move on and take care of yourself
and do your own thing and heal your own
self
shall we go with one more and let's go
with the last one and that question is
from and of course as I'm doing this
please keep writing your questions
because they actually really help me
even when I look back at them so Carol
Carol Miller hi Carol I know who you are
Carol is from the celebrate your life
events and I'm gonna be seeing you in
June at celebrate your life event in
Chicago so thank you for the love love
them through it reminder I'm on a
journey with my mom and continue to
focus on what she can do rather than
what she can't but there are days that
it's difficult when she feels she is lone...
when she's losing her independence the
strongest woman I know I will remember
to stay focused on loving her and loving
her up regardless of what is showing up
that day ah Thank You Carol that is
thank you for that beautiful note and
yes and that's all your mom needs and oh
my gosh and if any of you that have
known and met Carol she is just the
sweetest soul I I adore you Carol and
that really is all you can do for your
mom and again your mom is so blessed to
have you and actually to be honest
that's all we can do for anybody really
anybody that's all we can do
not just for sick people for anybody for
our children we're here just to love and
most people don't get that most people
think that we're here to fight and we're
here to judge but we're here to we're
here just to love and it starts with
loving ourselves and when we love our
selves we're able to charge our own
batteries and keep recharging our
batteries so that we have enough love to
give other people and when you feel you
can't love just remove yourself from the
situation no need for judgment no need
for anything just keep loving keep
loving yourself and the more you can
love yourself the more you'll be able to
love others that's really all there is
to it thank you for sharing your love
with me on this day if it's if you're
watching it live it's Sunday and if
you're in Europe it's Sunday evening and
if you're in the u.s. it's Sunday... 0:36:06.560,0:36:11.600 early afternoon late morning early
afternoon or af... mid afternoon if you're
on the East Coast thank you again for
sharing yourself with me I love I love
hearing from you I love seeing you I
love seeing you in person you know so so
please join me at my events and whenever
I'm traveling and until next time love
you all take care enjoy the rest of the
weekend and see you soon bye
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