Hey hey, my friend! Welcome to Parenting A to Z! I'm Kelly Bourne and this week we're
talking all about Zen. How to introduce mindfulness to your kids, when maybe
they're the kind of kids that get ants in their pants. Maybe they're the kind of
kids that can't sit still for more than two seconds. So I've got five different
tools and strategies you can try that are really fun, that I think your active
kids are really going to enjoy.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions with
mindfulness is that in order for us to be mindful we need to be really quiet,
and sit really still, and be really focused... Yeah. I know. And for a lot
of us with active kids, that seems like the impossible
task. But really, what mindfulness is, is just being present.
It's being aware of the here-and-now. And that doesn't mean you need to be sitting
in silence for 25 minutes in order to learn what mindfulness is, and in order
to reap the benefits of mindfulness. It can decrease our anxiety, it improves our
attention and our focus. It helps us find clarity. It helps us find our calm. When
we can pull on our mindfulness practice. When we're feeling really stressed, and
we're feeling really agitated. What are the biggest things, from a parenting
standpoint, that mindfulness brings? It helps our kids regulate their
emotions on their own. So they're not constantly having these high,
high peaks, and low, low valleys. Having that mindfulness allows them to
self-regulate, and self soothe, so they can be more on an even keel. And it
allows them to respond with focus, and with attention, and with clarity, when it
is called upon them -- when they're facing stress and frustration. So I've
got five different activities you can try with your kids who are really active.
If you thought that mindfulness was a lost frickin' cause for your kids,
this one is for you! And one strategy that I really like to use with my kids --
this is not even a strategy, it's just play and it's fun -- is activating their
spidey senses. And if your kids aren't into Spiderman, that's totally cool. It
can be a princess, a character on TV, or another superhero.
Or for older kids, even a character in a movie. But for us, we use Spidey senses.
And we get them to activate their superpowers. So talking to them about
activating their superpowers and getting them to really intently focus on what
they're seeing, and what they're hearing, and what they can touch, and how their
senses are super-sized. When, I know! I'm getting really animated even
talking about it! But getting them to describe what they are experiencing, and
what they're seeing, when those superpowers are activated and their
senses are really tuned in to what's going on around them. That's
mindfulness, right there. And it's so much more than than sitting and being quiet
and being calm and still. Of course, that works for a lot of kids, but if your
kids are active, this is a great alternative to get them to
practice tuning in and describing what's going on around them. Another really fun,
active way that we are using with our kids, to get them to engage with the
present moment and get them to focus on what they're experiencing, it's something
that we call "Jump Around." Any other House of Pain -- I know, I'm such a, like, NOT a
gangster AT ALL, but I love that old music! -- is we'll blast the
music, we'll get our kids to jump around, being really active, you can put on
whatever tunes that they're in to. And then we'll shut the music off and just
get everyone to lay down, close their eyes, and be really still. And then, I know,
I'm closing my eyes too, just because that's what we do in the moment, and
then getting them to pay attention and getting them to just be quiet and listen
to what they're hearing. Listen to what their body's telling them. Getting them
to put their hand on their heart and feel their heart beating, and tell you what
that feels like, and what that sounds like. And how their legs feel, and how
their arms feel. How their body feels. What they're seeing, what they're hearing.
Paying attention to their elevated heart rate, and maybe even their elevated
breathing, or their belly going up and down. That's all mindfulness, right there.
Just getting your kids to have fun, be active, and then paying attention to what's
going on in their bodies. It's really fun. Something else that works
really well if your kids like to eat, if your kids are into snacks.
And whose kids are not into snacks?! Is to try doing a
blindfolded taste test. Again, really fun, not the typical thing you
think of when it comes to mindfulness, but by making it fun, having some things
that are crunchy, some that are salty, some that are sweet, just a wide variety
of things. From watermelon, to granola bars, crackers, cheese, whatever -
yogurt, all the things they like eating. You can blindfold them and then practice
doing a taste test. Asking them, how does it feel in your mouth? What are
you tasting? What do you think it is? Is it crunchy? Is it sweet? Asking them all
those questions, just to slow down. I know, again, closing my eyes -- I'm such a weirdo --
but to pay attention to what's going on in the present moment. I feel
so sneaky with all these tips! But they really do help with our
active kids. Another thing that's really fun, is we take our kids on "noticing
walks." So I know, that probably sounds weird. But we will go for walks with our
kids where the sole purpose of the walks is to talk about all the stuff we notice.
Again, zeroing in on the senses. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What
are you feeling? All of all of those things. And getting them to explain
what's going on, and what they're noticing, and taking those moments for
everybody to be really quiet and listen -- it's like I'm doing this right
now, here with you. Getting really quiet, and then hearing what they can hear, and
describing what they're hearing. And it's also a really fun, engaging way
to spend time as a family. So you're having that togetherness time, you're
having that connection time, you're having that quality time, while also
boosting up your kids' sense of mindfulness. And you're essentially
teaching them how to get grounded. How to pay attention to the leaves. How to pay
attention to the sky, and the trees. And how to pay attention to what they're
hearing, and seeing, and feeling. Just noticing. So a "noticing walk"
is a really fun thing you can do. Snd something else you can do when
you're on your noticing walks, or you can do this at home, or in the grocery store,
or really wherever, is we call it "five things." So again, you're focusing on your
five senses. So thinking of the five senses, what are five things you can see,
five things you can hear, five things you can touch... I'm losing track of the senses,
as I'm explaining it to you! But getting them to do that, again, it gets them to
focus on the present moment, and focus on what they can see, and what they can hear,
and really dial it in without having to sit and close their eyes and teach them
how to meditate. It's a great option, give it a try.
Give it a try and see how it goes. You may find that you have a new fun family
activity! I know, I'm such a loser, but I can help it! Give it a try, for real.
And the other thing, too, that goes along with that, with the five things
piece, is it works really well for us adults when we start ruminating. So
you know when you get that tape that keeps playing in your head, of
how you're a bad mom, or how you made all these mistakes, or how come this is
happening again... when that train starts going? Please
tell me I'm not the only one that happens to?! But the "five things"
mindfulness tool also helps us when our mind starts going. To snap out of it.
Cuz when you're focused on what are five things I can see, what are five things I
can smell, what are five things that I can hear, you're not thinking about
whatever was driving you bonkers. You're now focused and distracted on this new
task. And you're being mindful. You're coming back to the present moment. You're
coming back to what's real and what's around you, and not this made-up
thing that you're spinning in your head. So again, that's a really good one to
just to put in your back pocket for the next time your brain starts
going. So I hope that helps! I'm sending it out to all my other
fellow parents of really active kids who are wanting to teach them to be aware of
what's going on, you're wanting to teach them to be mindful, but it seems like all
the resources out there are for kids who like to be really quiet and sit still. I hope it
helps! I hope it helps. Give it a go. Let me know how it goes. Leave
any questions or comments below. Of course, if you're looking for any more
in-depth parenting resources and support, don't forget to check us out in the
Parent 'Hood. I hold regular office hours and it's lots of fun! So merry
mindfulness! I hope you can find your Zen and help your kids do the same. I'll see
you in the next video!
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