hey mermaids this is my andis copy vlog I was not in a good mood at all the
morning of this procedure the day before a very devastating thing happened to me
and I was still filling that so the morning of I was just not wanting to
talk at all but I knew I would regret it and be mad at myself if I didn't record
something when I was there so I recorded myself in the office
ticking it was the first time I'd been that loud in public
I have ticked in public before you know like at Walmart and Best Buy but they
were small tics nothing loud at all and I was very loud and it was echoing and
it was just I was dealing with things that didn't want to deal with
particularly on a day that I was doing something so nerve-racking for me it
this is the footage that I do have
I do want to say when I was coming out of anesthesia to me it sounded like I
was trying to tell them that I had it in like an icy flare which is interstitial
cystitis and when I was there we were only in the waiting room area for a
little while I feel like they brought me back really
quick um so that was nice especially I was since I was really embarrassed by
their I just didn't like the people staring at me and I had brought a pillow
because I'm weird with pillows and I used that to kind of muffle my tics a
lot and that seemed to help but like muffling it but I didn't feel like I
don't know I want to be able to my I don't know how I feel about my tics so
far like totally yet alright like I feel like they're rude but I can't help it so
like not be able to help it doesn't mean does it make it totally rude in my
opinion like and I went to a movie theater
and I was no no screaming really loud and stuff and having a lot of takes I
think that would be rude so I personally would not go to a movie theater but in
public in an office situation where I can't help it I'm not gonna always have
a pillow and doing my hands over my mouth which I've tried a few times what
I move you know slow and trying to keep your hand with your face is just really
hard to know today now you're gonna notice in the video that I'm very
frustrated by my tics I hate them they're not fun so I was frustrated and
I am kind of apprehensive of showing you me showing showing you me showing myself
frustrated I don't like let it get so frustrated but I was frustrated and that
is authentic and I want to be authentic with y'all so I'm gonna show you
ha
thank you ha ha you're helping my headache yeah
give your neck so it doesn't sound getting the blow my nose want to do that
whoo hmm
no they put me in a room alone I fell out I am I think I ain't actually a
console girl I'm just paranoid
yeah I'm waiting in the consult room and like this annoying thing these are like
sensory hell I hate these how are you I need to when I woke up I pretty much
immediately started ticking my mom said and she got a little video of me waking
up it's kind of embarrassing I'm gonna show you anyway your gun Jake your
nose-ring out girl Katie hey calm down well you're gonna yank your ring out if
you don't stop ready
Katie calm down um and she had to stop the video because they were going did
they need it off hold me down I wasn't they needed to hold me down I wasn't
like a gir like angry or anything I was just really very confused when I woke up
and my ticks were awful when I woke up
it was just I don't know I still felt like the they put oxygen mommy
and it made my nose really itchy and
it's been several days since the thing I've kind of put off making this intro
um I still have like little bitty bruises on my or don't think this one
has very many that's gonna show where is it at there is um they give you at the
hospital I went to they give you lidocaine when
they do your IV that's cool um they always have to dig on me so that was a
plus but on this side is the side that they
finally got they finally had to do it on and they
were digging to get it in and when they finally got it in it didn't feel very
right but we left it in anyway and it left like this awful scar that not scar
but bruise it kind of looked like hickeys to me and coming out of it I do
not like anesthesia they use this I can't remember the name of the stuff
that they used to put me under it's the stuff that Michael Jackson died on so
propofol something like that propofol so they like that I'll put the
name up um I have heard that it was like crap going under and just like falling
asleep on it um I don't really remember going to sleep on it I remember they're
bringing me back there and putting this like blue yeah I get in my mouth that
had like a little hole I remember telling them out there like open your
mouth or gonna put it on my white that's a gag they gave me this like loopy stuff
first and so that was weird and I don't really
remember getting loopy I just remember getting kind of sleepy and I've met -
anesthesia people so far and every single anesthesia person that I met is
kind of weird and like a good way I guess like they make all these little
bitty jokes and stuff and the key said I flipped it and you didn't even know it
and he says I gave you loopy medicine so feel free to enjoy that I'm like okay so
I remember that what else do remember Oh waking up like
when I got home was weird I had a weird dream about tattoos I'm
getting my first tattoos and since I'm turning 21 and I'm so excited and so
I've been overthinking about tattoos so I want to tell you on my dream because I
think it's hilarious but yeah come out of anesthesia did not like it at all
like it was yeah honestly I already just knew I was
acting weird and couldn't stop I didn't know it but I left my phone on in my
purse when they locked it up so I had like my phone was dead when I got it
so I couldn't record anything else but I have a bunch of like blank stuff I have
to go through of like I can hear things and it's just entertaining to hear it
was locked up all the whole time but when I got my purse back when my mom got
my purse I could hear myself waking up and so that was interesting to hear I
might leave a clip of it at the very end of the video like after that the the end
card I don't know yet I need to listen to it because I know
when sound weird cuz I was saying no constantly and they were ticks but um I
don't know it's still kind of berry Singh for me but yeah my mom was afraid
I was gonna rip my nose ring out but I'd be really hard it's way up there it's
like right here kind of it's up there I'm septum piercings or pierced up there
if they're Pierce correctly not like in the way in the front but anyway um I
remember the nurse telling me that um she catch my mom wanted to take the ring
out or something I don't know gladly she didn't but um they did tape
my piercings I'm very glad they didn't tape my VCH that would have been an
awkward piercing to tape but they did take my nipple piercings and they taped
this piercing like you saw on the I
can't think
come now so they did tape that peeling off the tape afterwards was annoying and
my nipples were hurting afterwards so I don't know now that I am totally like
awake and thinking they taped the piercing stupid if they're actually
trying to tape it to keep you from burning yourself if they need to shock
you with a defibrillator they're not taping it correctly at all because they
just put the tape on the nipple they should have put tape underneath each
ball and then put tape on top of it like I still would have gotten burned inside
the nipple but that would have kept scars from forming on my areola and I
don't understand why they didn't tape it that way so they didn't like if you're
gonna tape something to keep like yo they need to think about that
and then like they first when they first taped my septum piercing they we're
gonna tape it like this and I'm like let's fix it up like this and actually
wrap the tape around it right here so if anything gets burned it gets burned up
inside and it doesn't see you don't see a fucking big scar because that's the
only thing I would be worried about is like scar tissue or having to take the
piercing out that would like I'll cry it's been several days since the thing
I've kind of put off making this intro I still have like little bitty bruises on
my Lauren I don't think this one has very many that's gonna show where is it
at their knees they give you at the hospital I went to they give you
lidocaine when they do your IV that's cool
they always have to dig on me so that was a plus what on this side of the side
that they finally got they finally had to do it on and they were digging to get
it in and when they finally got it in it didn't feel very right but we left it in
anyway and it left like this awful scar that not scar but bruised it kind of
looks like hickeys to me coming out of it I do not like anesthesia they use
this I can't remember the name of the stuff
that they used to put me under it's the stuff that Michael Jackson died on
propofol something like that propofol so do I got um I have heard that it was
like crap going under and just like falling asleep on it um I don't really
remember going to sleep on it I remember they're bringing me back there and
putting this like blue yeah I get in my mouth that had like a little hole I
remember telling them out there like open your mouth we're gonna put it on my
white that's a gag they gave me this like loopy stuff first
and so that was weird and I don't really remember getting loopy I just remember
getting kind of sleepy and I've met - anesthesia people so far and every
single anesthesia person that I met is kind of weird and like a good way I
guess like they make all these little bitty jokes and stuff and the key said I
flipped it and you didn't even know it and he says I gave you loopy medicine so
feel free to enjoy that I'm like okay so I remember that what else do I remember
Oh waking up like when I got home was weird I had a weird dream about tattoos
I'm getting my first tattoos and since I'm turning 21 and I'm so excited and so
I've been overthinking about tattoos so I want to tell you on my dream because I
think it's larious but yeah coming out of anesthesia did not like it at all
like it was yeah honestly I already just knew I was acting weird and couldn't
stop I didn't know it but I left my phone on in my purse when they locked it
up so I had like my phone was dead when I got it so I couldn't record anything
else but I have a bunch of like blank stuff I have to go through of like
I can hear things and just entertaining to hear it was locked up all the whole
time but when I got my purse back when my mama got my purse I could hear myself
waking up and so that was interesting to hear I might leave a clip of it at the
very end of the video like after that the the end card I don't know yet I need
to listen to it cuz I know I sound weird cuz I was saying no constantly and they
were ticks but um I don't know it's still kind of bear sing for me but so
it's been several days or actually week probably a week since my endoscopy was
done in I was just really out of it I had a strange dream and I wanted to tell
y'all and I filmed part of the intro but then I needed to stop because I was just
there's so much brain fog that I'm doing this that I couldn't even get through
the video and I didn't want to have to cut out several minutes of video because
I'm just sitting there trying to think of what I want to say cuz that's kind of
how it is normally but normally it's about like a minute to lease but this
was probably like 10 minutes of just a brain fog and so I just had to stop and
I would recorded it later I still have a lot of brain fog right now today but I
need to get this edited and up and didn't want to kill I didn't want to not
tell you on my dream because I think it was really weird basically like you know
while I don't know how to say it it's Wiley coyote that cartoon from loony
tunes with roadrunner you know those like you know how like in the old
version like when we were a kid how you had those like little rocks that they
had to climb over I think you might know what I'm talking about
but um basically I got a I've been wanting a tattoo and I have planned my
tattoo that I in thought of it and have custom kind of designed it from
ideas and drawings that I want not drawings but like I've gone and found
other tattoos that kind of look like what I want and I have cropped it
together and made my tattoo and I'm going to bring it to an artist and he'll
draw it up and make it my own and I want all my tattoos to be custom
so that's what I'm doing and so I've been thinking about tattoo so when I
went to sleep the day I got home from the endoscopy part of it was me because
I'm just a weird person and I stress about things and a lot of my stress
comes out their dreams and like I've had weird dreams like one day I was writing
a llama in the sea like underwater and we had a snorkel and everything it was
an interesting dream and anyway this one was an interesting dream too I had to
like I wish I could paint y'all a picture of this because it is just
interesting the way I can see it in my head like it was like this cave and
inside this cave it was really really dark and if I wanted to get a tattoo
that was cheaper I could go inside the cave and get tattooed with the
alligators and it would be cheap like cheap as in like a normal tattoo today
anyway the rule of this tattoo shop which it wasn't even a tattoo shop it
was more of like a tattooed cavern or something like this these tattoo artists
we're hosting a tattoo shop inside of a alligator-infested gross like Pondy
water I don't really know what to call it it's like water in a cave type area
and in order to get to this area you had to climb and scale these huge rocks
rocks that are like the size of the little bitty rocks that were drawn and
like um Looney Tunes you know what I'm hopefully you know what I'm talking
about and you know if a person just think about think of like me trying to
climb over a rock it just wouldn't work very well
so I'm literally like I don't think my disabilities were like brought into the
dream at all because I could not climb a rock but I'm climbing this rock trying
to get to this cave and I get there and I'm like dude I want an alligator tail
tattooed on my leg and what I mean for my leg I mean from
here all the way down to my fucking shoe that's huge and if somebody wants an out
I get a tattoo on them cool but if I personally woke up with the tattoo of an
alligator towel on my leg that big I would cry and I would be upset there'd
be no way I could first of all I've got plans for this
right leg I don't have any plans for my left leg yet but I don't even know if
I'll get tattoos a lot alike but I have plans for my right leg I want it to be
under the sea themed and if I go to now I get hurt on to there that would be
awful and you know I'm worried about getting a tattoo that I don't want or
end up being in a way that I don't want it or maybe I'm in the tattoo shop and I
tick and then I have like a big ass line going down my arm or something or maybe
he goes in too deep and then I get what is it called tattoo blowout like I know
tattoo Blewett is a possibility when you get a tattoo but in its really scares me
because I'm so pale and you would notice it long way more so that that's just
something I'm worried about I do not want tattoo blow up I'm willing to get a
tattoo and hope and just hope that I don't get it like I don't it's not
something that is going to keep me from getting it tattoo but I would be upset
about it if I got a tattoo blow up I would probably get over it but you'd
be something that I'd be at first said about so can't think anyway I get the
tattoo and in order to get the tuck - you don't have to climb into this cave
and it's like Grand Canyon's like it was just half of the dream was
me climbing into this place and finally I get there and I start talking to him
and it's weird the cave is really really tall like tall
like a building like the the top of the cave was pretty high and it looks
straight and flat like if it was in a normal room it's almost like my brain
forgot that I was in a cave anyway we had to climb up this area again because
in order to get the tattoo I want he needed to have light and the other
tattoo artists apparently didn't need light I guess that was part of the well
if you want a cheaper tattoo were gonna do it in the dark and anyway he gets me
on this ledge inside this cave and I spread out eagle and for some reason I'm
spreading my arm out in letting him tattoo my arm but the tattoo was on my
leg so that part of the dream just doesn't make any sense but the tattoo
was on my leg at the end of the day um but anyway he put blue in the tattoo at
first for some reason and he's like wait alligators a green so he goes over it
with green and then I go home and I've got this like beautiful tattoo on my
body you know I was so happy about it and for some reason I somebody with
white ass hair like white hair like Billy Elish or great she was great hair
but it was pale whatever it is and she had short hair as
a kebab almost kinda like Lady Gaga was driving me and it'll girl he messed up
we gotta go back so we go back and we climb and scaling man he's like oh yeah
I I miss some of the blue so he goes over the blue again some more of the
blue with green and then I go home and then I go back to him like dude I hate
this tattoo I don't know why I wanted an alligator intent to I'm really and I'm
starting flipping out like realizing what I did you know I got a shitty
stupid tattoo in my opinion on my body it's I don't think other people who are
stupid if they want an alligator tattoo personally I would be up
set I just want to make sure no one's getting like offended like you want to
get a tattoo a fucking butthole do it but personally I would be upset about
that you know and if I got a tattoo that big you know you can't really cover it
up you wouldn't really be able to cover it up and I guess you could try to let
laser it off and then try to cover it up with something but gonna be a lot of
money and in this dream I was stressing out you know like what am I gonna do I
got the stupid tattoo I had plans for this you know the blue I think
potentionally I think originally in the dream the blue was supposed to be
because I wanted a mermaid there because that's what I want and then I guess
somehow I did it up being turning into a alligator tattoo in my dream so I don't
know I wish I remembered the whole thing it's all I know bits and pieces and it
was just an interesting dream you know I've had weird dreams before like once
one time I was writing a llama in the sea like underwater and the llama had a
snorkel and I was a mermaid so I didn't need a snorkel and you know in the dream
the snorkel wasn't even above water but apparently it worked I don't know but I
went to my mom and then I went to a horse and then I finally upgraded into a
seahorse it was a weird-ass dream so yeah that was my dream for you the
doctor said that my throwing up could be from the Tourette's we he called it
Tourette's but it's but or that I'm assuming he thought I had to rest on it
could be Tourette's but you know we don't know yet I did get referred to a
neurologist they finally called me I can't get into October so I asked her
I'm like can you bite the doctor to see if I can get in sooner and she says I'll
see what I can do so she's going to call me back and see if I can get in before
October he says normally if somebody has been having tics for this long
he'll get them into so wealthy fingers crossed
the gastro knowledge Asst stomach guy he did a biopsy
we were waiting on the results of the biopsy but the biopsy results came back
and they looked good so he didn't see anything on my stack so I'm really
excited about that because they were worried about gastroparesis um so I
think um I gotta go back to him and we're gonna see what else he has to say
because there might be other tests teeth to do but I really don't think he's
gonna do other tests I think they're probably gonna diagnose me with what we
originally thought it was before my GP sent me over to him we thought he was
like I can't think of a name it's a vomiting syndrome I'll put it up on the
screen things I can't remember my minds blinking but it's something you know so
we'll find out what it is but yeah I'm just really excited because I was you
know I did I I know about gastroparesis and when he said that it worried me so
I'm happy about this no gastroparesis and there was no ulcers he said my
stomach looked pretty good so um hot buyer about dat I do he's either gonna
call me about the trots because or the tech disorder because I do understand
where he's coming from where if I took a lot it back to back to back to back that
has caused me to throw up but this is different
you know I'm waking up in the morning that like every it's like every time at
3 to 4 a.m. and I'm throwing up on myself and that really fits that
syndrome thing so we'll see what he has to say I don't think he diagnoses that
though I think just a GP diagnoses it and you know my GP wanted everything to
be checked out first before understandably before he diagnosed me
with the syndrome so we'll see how it goes and I'm just happy about the good
news yeah
so you probably been noticing I don't have my septum piercing hanging down
from my nose I do have jewelry in it if I do have Doria my nose
it is a retainer if you see it it's blue
there it is that's up in my nose it is a little swollen so it does look like it's
slanted it does that when you're sometimes your septum piercing can look
not straight when it's swollen I know is this very swollen comment I'm putting it
back up hmm basically I was trying to learn how to get the captain beat
captive bead on and off and I'm a very spontaneous and impulsive person so my
hands were feeling pretty good and I hadn't been ticking that much throughout
the day so I thought it'd be safe so I got on my bed and I set the bed up to if
I dropped the bead because getting it out isn't hard it's getting it back in
and you know I had to tape the piercing when I went to this place because when I
went to this place so I'm getting glass a glass one of these eventually so that
if I ever have to have a procedure where I go under again that they that I can
switch the things I'm stood at taping the things cuz I have issues with tape
in my skin reacts not the best way so I wanted to learn how to do it so I didn't
have to learn how to do it in the hospital next time I go and I wasn't
gonna take the actual piercing out of my nose I was just going to figure out how
to put the captive bead back in and out because it doesn't it doesn't screw into
it it um is held in there by pressure so oh my goodness my cats anyway I was
gonna get back in there and I had it just sitting there and I just needed
tight to tighten it and then all of a sudden out of nowhere
I had a clapping tick and clapping tics are very powerful they make my hand
bright red when I do them and I bent the whole metal around my nose and I
honestly don't really know how I did this because my dad had to get two
pliers and pry it off of my nose and he had to use force like a lot of force I
know that my tics are very powerful but it was so powerful I bent a whole metal
ring into the shape of a like fish pretty much the end of the end part of
the piece where they kind of connect and the ball goes through had crossed over
like this kind of and the part of the ring circle ring had turned into an oval
and I don't know I'm not explaining it very well but like it was shoved up in
an oval towards this part of my nose up here in the um cartilage so my nose up
there is all fucked up it's very sore it's very sensitive when I talk I can
feel the septum hurting so hopefully this will heal it was already painful
still prior to so I was healing so I'm healing slowly as it is and now I fucked
my nose off um eventually probably tomorrow I'm gonna go back and get some
new jewelry I just haven't been able to drive and go up there so my mom's
probably gonna take me tomorrow so I'm really mad I'm not really mad I guess
I'm just kind of upset because the jewelry was expensive and I fucked it up
but I'm probably gonna get him to color the jewelry this time into like a darker
color um I noticed that in my pictures and and sometimes in my video you can't
really see that it's there and only every now and then you can see it shine
and I do like that look but since I'm gonna be wearing it constantly until it
heals I want it to be seen all the time and I've I don't know I just like the
way the darker one looks eventually I'll probably get another
silver 1/2 because I do want to switch my jewelry out when it hills and play
around with different dory so this time I think I'm going to get the darker one
depending on pricing honestly but yeah that's why you don't see my septum
piercing in this video I don't know you'll see a lot of old videos with that
septum piercing in it so just don't get confused pre-recorded video is a thing I
really do like seeing myself after when I'm editing because I can notice more of
what's going on with me you know people tell me for the longest time that you're
not saying what you mean like with me switching words you know and me having
to put the correct words on the screen I can see it and it's my cats in the
litter box sorry it's just I'm gonna explain it it's fulfilling not
fulfilling it's just validating I know I can't
think of the word that I want it's just nice to see it myself instead of having
other people tell me you're doing it constantly because for some reason I
hear myself say the right word and so for a long time I was having
trouble believing that I was doing that and so now that I'm seeing myself do it
on camera and I'm having physical proof in front of myself it has helped me cope
with it more and I can now laugh about it
so I'm sorry this video is so long I'm gonna try to edit a lot of this stuff
out I don't really think you'll want to hear me tick constantly so if I'm wrong
about that I'm totally willing to show you the hole the hole in the future my
whole like experience there I think I'm probably going to edit down the video a
lot of what I got at the place because I I left my phone going the whole time
that I was there and had it pointed up at me on the ground when I was what do
you call it I like to sit on the ground I take a lot less on the ground for some
reason sitting in chairs seem to escalate my tips in public so I've
always been a ground person even in high school I would bring a pillow and
blanket to school and sit on the ground otherwise my ass would be freezing so
yeah don't forget that I fucking love y'all let me know how y'all are doing in
the comment section and thank you for being alive today
No
yeah long as you know any place to have them I think
there's okay you know they put in there it usually it put a gag in my mouth no
and I didn't put a gag in blue that's a bike lock I was thrown about remember
how they tell you to bite down so you have to open it so they can put the
scope down we talked about that here drink some more water that keeps you can
be enunciated popcorn I'm not giving you nothing right now not right now No
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