Greetings and welcome to Awakening With Brahma Kumaris. Sister Shivani is with us. Welcome, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti and welcome to Soul Reflections.
Thank you.
It has been a very interesting and a long discussion about just one word - Respect.
I found related line.
On relationships.
Let's not forget - it is you and me.
Versus the problem.
It's you and me versus the problem.
Not you versus me.
It's very beautiful.
If we look at the differences of opinion that come up throughout the day
It actually becomes you versus me.
It does not become you and me versus the problem.
What will be the difference between you versus me
And you and me, versus the problem?
It means one option about the problem is
The conflict is between you and me.
It means the problem is between two souls.
And the second option is
Two souls get together to resolve a problem.
What is the difference between the two scenarios?
When we unite we will be able to fight the problem.
It's not even that.
We will be able to solve.
We will anyway solve it.
Relationship will be fine.
This is the point.
You and me together.
And when we are together, the energy between the two souls
Is pure and positive despite the issue.
Issue is still there.
The issue is there but the energy between the two souls is not negative because of it.
We start finding faults with each other.
A few couples go to counselors and complain about their spouse.
When this kind of energy is exchanged, the issue is already there.
Let us allocate a size to the issue.
There is an issue between two souls.
It could be a clash of Sanskars.
Difference in perspectives.
They are not matching at all.
There is an issue between two people.
Let us say the size of the issue is 50%.
It is a big problem so there is a 50% conflict.
But when both of them start radiating negative energy to each other because of that problem
Calling each other wrong
Calling each other bad
Or saying that they don't respect each other
And they blame that the problem is because of him or her
Yes they say - I am in pain because of this person.
My career got ruined because of this person.
The problem was at 50%
But when they start sending this kind of energy to each other
The size of the issue
What happens to the size?
It will increase a lot.
We get singled out, and it becomes a divide and rule situation.
It gets divided.
That's why what we saw last time is
You read a very beautiful quote last time
It's a different perspective so I have stopped explaining myself.
In the sense, expecting every time
That the other person will understand our perspective
This expectation is also not right.
And the problem is - why can't the other person understand?
Exactly, and this is an expectation.
We definitely would like
Our family
We say - okay I didn't expect so much from outsiders but at least family
Or at least close friends should understand me.
They should understand what I am saying.
So we set expectations from people who we feel are close to us.
Because we feel that if our family cannot understand us
If they don't understand our perspective
How can outsiders understand us?
Family means where you have that bonding your energy exchange.
And we have known each other for years.
We have lived together in the same house for years.
Yet if we are unable to understand each other
Then there is a problem.
We keep an expectation
That when I share my opinion or my perspective
When I give them an advise
Or share my perspective
They will immediately understand.
But often, it doesn't get understood even after explaining several times.
Certain people who can read horoscopes
They endorse it by saying - you are often misunderstood.
You will understand the world but the world will not understand you.
You will help everyone but no one will help you.
This information also creates a belief system.
Most important is
Instead of thinking that I am misunderstood
Instead of expecting other people to understand me
It is fine that the other person is not understanding me
Let me pause. Am I understanding the other person?
So now what we will do is - shift to the other side.
The other person is unable to understand me.
Unable to understand my perspective.
I want to understand him.
Why? Because this relationship is important to me.
Harmony in this relationship is important to me.
It is my priority to keep the energy of this relationship smooth.
The word energy
When we say the other person is not understanding me
So much negative energy radiated into it.
Why can't he understand, why is he not sensitive?
He is not understanding even a simple thing, he is so selfish.
So we intensify the bitterness in relationship.
Exactly. In order to get rid of all these lines
As you mentioned - doesn't he understand even this
He doesn't have basic intelligence
You always mention that our thoughts reach first
When the other person gets such thoughts from us
When will he think of the problem between us?
It cannot happen.
This has dominated now.
Negative energy has dominated.
That is why the quotation said
Both of us united have to solve the problem.
Solving it by being united means
The energy between each other
That has to be of unity and respect.
The issue will get resolved.
There could be many issues which cannot even be resolved.
So many issues cannot get resolved.
Which means if two people have a difference in opinion
It is possible that the difference in opinion will not disappear at all for a lifetime.
That can be some things.
Where two people's Sanskar will never match.
They can keep explaining and keep trying.
But the other person will just not accept our perspective.
There will be situations where perspectives of two souls will just not match.
It happens in families often
For example if one person asks not to feed the child while the child is using iPad.
And the wife says the child will not eat without the iPad.
After many rounds of discussion the husband finally surrenders
He says I have accepted it because I am tired.
Is this also understanding or not understanding?
How did he accept it?
Out of tiredness and pain.
He accepted in words. Which means he stopped telling her anything.
Because whenever he told her
The other person did not understand his perspective.
Let us take the same example.
One person advised repeatedly.
But the other person's perspective was completely different.
The one who is advising not to feed the child, when the child is focusing on the iPad.
He is right.
He is right from his perspective.
The person who is not accepting it
Is not accepting because the perspective is that the child will not eat without playing with the iPad.
The mother's perspective is that she has to feed the child
If the child refuses to eat, I will feed him when he is playing with iPad.
Because what is my priority? To feed the child.
Both the perspectives
Are completely opposite.
But if both stand in their places
And look at their own perspectives
Both are absolutely right.
The husband who is explaining
Will have a simple expectation
That his wife will understand his perspective.
But the wife did not understand.
So the first point - Can't she understand even this?
She lacks basic intelligence.
It is written everywhere but still she doesn't understand.
So here the issue was about iPad.
And its effect on children.
But when the energy between the couple had these things
Now the issue is not about iPad
The issue is now about the energy exchange between the two souls.
It became a conflict between the husband and wife.
What is the energy exchange? The moment the husband sends such energy
A similar energy will come back from the other side.
She will say - can't he understand this much
How can the child survive without eating food?
The child has not eaten anything since morning.
At least he has finally agreed to eat, playing with the iPad.
My husband does not understand even this.
I have told him so many times that the kids don't eat otherwise.
Now the energy that we are sending to each other is
Both of them are sending to each other, the energy - this person cannot even understand.
Now the second point is
When the husband gives an advice and explains it repeatedly
And the wife still did not agree
What is the label we put, as we saw last time?
She does not respect me.
That is why she is not listening to what I am saying.
If parents have to say the same thing they will also say - they don't respect elders.
The second label that gets added is
Which is even stronger
First label is - she does not understand. She lacks basic intelligence.
This is the first label on her.
What is the second level? She doesn't respect me.
If she respected me, or if she respected my wisdom
She would have obeyed me.
She would have respected me.
It means do as I say.
The word respect has got connected with
That the person should listen to me.
Everywhere the word respect is coming up.
Because we labelled respect with
If the other person does as I say
Then he respects me.
Otherwise
If he doesn't obey many times, we say - he doesn't respect me at all.
When we label that they don't respect me
What energy radiates now?
First time the energy was that they don't understand.
The other person also said - he doesn't understand
That was the first negative energy exchange.
Now second
Disrespect hits at the foundation.
When this thought starts getting created
That the person does not respect me
First I will feel bad
That I am not respected in this house.
And second is the energy we radiated to the other person
The they don't respect me despite being my own family.
The moment we send them this vibration
That you disrespect me
What is the energy that will come from there?
The energy will be - you disrespect me.
What else do you want me to do? I take care of children and I do all household work. You are away the whole day.
I manage everything, what else do you want me to do?
You never understand me or my problems.
Not understanding the problem was the first level.
Second level of negative energy
It comes up to - you don't like me.
Because you don't respect me.
What was the issue?
The iPad.
What is the programming created here?
They disrespect me.
We see
Issues was of iPad but the recording on the soul
Is - you disrespect me.
Now whether the issue of iPad gets resolved or not
We move ahead.
Later in the day that will be another scene.
Tomorrow there will be another scene.
Day after tomorrow there will be under the difference of opinion.
But there is one song which has got recorded here.
The impression created about somebody
It's not an impression. Who recorded it?
I recorded on the soul.
I recorded it based on my perspective
As - you disrespect me.
I recorded it.
It got recorded in the situation pertaining to iPad.
Two days later there will be some other situation.
But the song is already recorded.
The moment there is another difference of opinion
We will start singing the same song very soon.
The first thought will be that the person disrespects me.
I have no respect in this house at all.
Very strong energy.
This is very strong energy and a heavy line.
I have no respect in this house.
I have heard heads of family say often
I did so much for them and today they have got everything free from me. Yet they don't listen to me.
No one respects me in the house. I just feel like going away from here.
Just see how far they think.
Some people even leave the house.
All this has got recorded on the soul.
This is very important.
Differences of opinion will come and may come even everyday.
Because when there are two souls
There are two different set of Sanskars.
It seems very small but it is very important.
It is very deep.
That two souls cannot have the same set of Sanskar.
You mentioned in the last episode
But your grandson was away from home only for 15 days.
The environment and the company of people for 15 days
Got changed. And when he came back
His behaviour was totally different.
We need to pause and check that if a soul can be affected within just 15 days.
One entire life time and one more life time prior to this one
Yet another life time before that
Different parents, different environments
And in these 15 days, his family was the same.
Only the environment had changed.
The same family, the same costume and the same situations.
Only the environment has changed for 15 days.
If we talk of 15 lifetimes, different physical bodies
Different parents and different families
Different country, different culture, completely different situations and different environments.
And in these 15 lifetimes, how many Sanskars would the soul have changed?
Let us create a little compassion now.
That when there can be a change in just 15 days
Then how different will two souls be in 15 lifetimes?
After 15 lifetimes, if these two souls get married to each other by chance.
Then how many complications will arise?
Let us always keep telling ourselves that differences of opinion will definitely be there.
Difference of opinion will always happen.
Somebody had said beautiful line
We agreed to disagree.
We agree to disagree means
We were disagreeing
But in that disagreement
We did not create any negativity towards each other.
That can even be two brothers contesting from different political parties.
The event discuss about joining each other's party but they say No.
They both agree to disagree - they will continue to remain in their party.
Which means our opinions can be different
But the energy of the relationship is pure.
There is no problem between you and me.
It means Disagreement in the opinion and agreement between the souls.
That is the quotation you read out today
That the issue is there, but we both are together.
How should we apply this throughout the day?
That we will be together despite an issue arising.
Compassion that the other soul's Sanskars are completely different from mine.
It is not a question of right or wrong.
It is only about being different.
When we go to purchase furniture for the house, three to four people of a family visit the place together and give their opinion.
Even the interior decorator starts giving his opinions.
The couple and that children also have opinions. But everybody lovingly discusses in that case.
But in small things like changing volume on TV
Which channel to watch?
My child should have slept by now, why is he still awake?
We will have so many arguments over such little things.
Because what is the recording we create in these small little things?
You mentioned about going to purchase furniture
It is very easy to accept that your taste is different from mine.
You like this sofa and I like that one.
Then we take the third person's opinion.
It is very easy. Of course, sometimes the differences of opinion will be a little strong there too.
But it is easier to accept
I feel there it was easier to accept because
Because we had discussed before-hand that all of us will together solve the issue.
But there we have the acceptance that people will have different tastes.
We will never expect there
That all of us will go to the furniture shop and all of us will like the same piece of furniture there.
We don't have that expectation because we know
That our tastes are different.
In fact If it happens that all of us like the same furniture
We say it is a miracle that all of us like the same thing.
That is taken as a surprise.
How come every one life to the same thing?
Because it is very natural
The different people like different kinds of dresses, colours
Different furniture
This is natural and accepted.
But when there are small situations that come up at home
We expect that the other person understands our perspective
Will obey me
And when he will obey me
It means he respects me.
When we do this programming within
The heavy energy that gets created
It is not heavy because of the issue
But because of the thoughts.
Today we need to do this small practice
Differences of opinion are certain to come.
We need to fit this in the mind.
That differences of opinion are sure to come.
When there are two different souls and two different personalities
If they are from different schools of thought
They will place their opinions.
Yes, they will place their opinions.
But when their opinions are different, what is the recording to be created?
Recording.
What we record first is - he does not understand.
He is not intelligent.
He does not understand even simple things.
This recording has to stop.
We say he intentionally does the opposite of what we ask him to do.
And he is so adamant
I don't know what Sanskars he has.
It doesn't end at 1 or 2, it goes on non-stop.
We will talk about his family.
You were asking why small things become heavy at home.
We even give back references to what happened 10 years ago.
We know all our recordings.
We can see what we are recording here.
Let us change this recording.
So that when there are differences of opinion
A different song gets played.
Right now all these songs are getting played.
When all these negative songs get played
These are very heavy songs.
And when they go from here, the same kind of song comes from there too.
The same Sanskar and same recording.
Energy in the house will become very heavy.
Now, when there is a difference of opinion next time
First of all, keep aside the expectation that the other person will understand us.
Accept that the opinions and Sanskars of two souls
And even the way of doing karmas are always going to be different.
The first recording which we were creating
That other person is not wise, he does not understand what I say
That recording stops.
When somebody comes to me to take my opinion
And finally say they will do what they want to do
I ask them why they had to come to me.
If they had to come to me, listen to my opinion and not obey
If they had already decided what they wanted to do
They should have told me that they are only informing me .
Why should they say that they are asking me?
And if they ask you, then they have to obey what you say?
Otherwise just tell me that they are informing me about their plans.
So this creates problems.
Very true. Let us just reflect today
And we will discuss further on it.
Because the programming on the soul needs to be changed.
We need to change the recording here.
If the recording here is not right, then this lifetime will also have struggles.
And when the soul carries the same Sanskars forward
And that child (soul in the next lifetime) will start feeling even about small things that he is not being loved.
And as we grow, we say nobody respects me.
When we are children (young) we say nobody loves me.
They love my brother and sister more.
It is a same recording that is getting played even in the next lifetime.
We record things like - when he was young he would obey me. Today he listens to his wife.
We need to check and change the recording on the soul.
How to change it? We shall discuss it in the next episode.
Thank you so much, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti.
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