It's titled "Mom, Where Are You Going?"
Hello. I'm a 21-year-old college student.
I'm here today to report a missing person.
It's because of my mother
who disappears every night.
Ding dong! "Mom, where are you?"
Ding dong! "Why aren't you home yet?"
Ding dong! "Mom! It's 3 a.m.!"
Ding dong. "Mom, I'm worried. Please text me.
At least send me a text."
My mom stays out overnight
once every two days.
Once it was really bad
and she stayed out all week long.
Is she busy?
When I finally get ahold of her,
"Mom! Where are you? What's going on?
Are you in trouble?"
"Stop calling me!
I told you not to bother me when I'm having fun!"
Oh, she's busy having fun?
I don't know what she does
that she doesn't come home to sleep.
- She really knows how to have fun. / - Right.
My whole life, whenever I was happy or sad
I never had my mom by me.
"Mom! It's my birthday.
Spend the day with me.
"No! I have to go out and have fun."
(Is she really a mother?)
"Mom. I'm worried about my future career."
"Talk to your teacher about that."
Does she not love me?
She's busy having fun all the time.
Please make her stay at home.
She sent her concern to us.
She is busy having fun.
A daughter wrote to us because she couldn't
get ahold of her mother.
Please come on out.
(Who's concerned about her mother?)
(Going to greet the daughter)
(Seunghyeon works the hardest today)
You wrote to us that
she doesn't come home every other day?
Yes. She doesn't come home every other day.
(Really?)
She owns a clothing store.
She never comes straight home after work.
She goes out and comes home at 3 or 4 a.m.
Or when it's bad, she stays out all week
and I never saw my mom during that time.
(Such a serious concern)
What does she do?
She just says she's with her friends.
She never tells me anything in detail.
Does she enjoy drinking?
She can't drink all that much.
- Really? / - She can't drink.
Can you drink more than she can?
We're just about the same.
(No slang)
Just about the same.
Right. Just about the same.
You're quick.
Does she go traveling?
Even when she goes on a trip
she tells me after she returns.
Have you ever tried to talk to her
about your concerns seriously?
She just answers evasively and brushes me off.
Does she do that now that you're all grown up?
Or has she been doing this for a while?
Ever since I was in elementary school.
My birthday is a day after my mom's.
She was born on the 5th and I was born on the 6th.
She goes out with friends on her birthday
and I never get to see her on my birthday.
All I get is the cake she got on her birthday.
That's so upsetting.
You must've been upset when discussing your future.
"Figure it out yourself. Don't ask me.
I don't know either." That's what she said.
Considering that, you're quite cheerful.
Do you think there's a reason
why your mom goes out so much?
She had me when she was 20 years old,
- so she's 40 now. / - She's young.
(In a similar situation)
She has the energy to go out.
We don't understand though.
This sounds more like your dad's concern.
My dad passed away of a disease
when I was in fourth grade.
So after my dad died
she started to go out even more.
Since my dad passed away
my mom hasn't cooked for me once.
I know it was upsetting when you were young,
but you're all grown up now.
Can't you be a little more understanding now?
You're grown up and she's still young.
Yes, I try to be understanding, but once
she goes out, I can't reach her at all.
On time, we were supposed to go to a party,
but she never called and stayed out all night.
I wasn't sure if I should report her missing.
Then around 9 p.m. she texted me that
she went out with her friends instead.
When I was in middle and high school,
I called her until she answered.
When she answered, she said,
"Stop calling me."
Subin! Are you watching this?
Learn from her.
My daughter doesn't want me to call.
She tells me to stop calling and
- it's enough that she's alive. / - Oh my.
Girls can be tricky.
Did you try lying to
get her to come home?
I once texted her,
"Help! Help me!"
I even made mistakes on purpose. "Plea...."
I misspelled on purpose.
But she never cares.
- You were pretending? / - Yes.
But she never responded?
She didn't even text me to ask if I'm okay.
She's quite determined.
Since you are both females,
I think she knows what you're up to.
There was once a mother who pretended to be sick
because her daughter was causing trouble.
How dare you!
When she collapsed, the daughter said, "Get up."
Then she'd just get up while cussing.
They just know.
But it must've been tough for the daughter.
She must've missed her mom.
Let me blatantly ask you.
Did you ever consider living your own life
and not caring about hers?
I should be the grownup if my mom isn't.
(So touching and sad)
She's so mature.
Your mom made you become independent.
Does she give you allowance?
No, I don't get allowance from her.
I know that she doesn't have any money
so I work part-time and give her an allowance.
You're such a good daughter.
You give money to your mom?
Yes, I do.
Does she pay for your tuition?
No, she's never done that.
I pay tuition with the money
I've saved up since elementary school.
Wow.
You're an angel.
I'm sure she has her reasons, too.
Let's meet her mother. Hello.
Hello.
Mother.
Please say hello to your daughter.
How long has it been?
Two days?
Is everything she said true?
Yes, it's true.
- How upsetting. / - The tuition, too?
Do you understand her concern?
No.
Why not?
It's not like I'm doing something bad.
What's considered bad in your definition?
Drinking and ending up at the police station.
I just have fun sober.
Do you have a boyfriend that
you never told your daughter about?
No, not at all.
- No boyfriend? / - No.
You don't drink.
You don't drink. You don't have a boyfriend.
What do you that you stay out all night?
What do you do?
Do you play patty cake?
What do you do?
I like to have fun.
To be honest, I go to nightclubs.
Oh, nightclubs.
You like to dance?
I just go to relieve stress and
waiters treat us so well
that I feel like a princess.
They usually set you up with single men.
No, we don't do that.
Do you tell the waiters that you won't do that?
We always go to the same place, so they know.
Even at a new place, we tell them we don't do it.
At least she has rules about not meeting men.
I'd like to ask you this.
When your husband was alive
I assume that you didn't party so much then.
I had fun then, too.
- Even then? / - Wow.
It's not easy to go clubbing for 20 years.
How often do you go clubbing?
I sometimes go every day of the week.
At least 5 times a week.
I go at around 10 p.m. and leave at around 4 a.m.
You leave when the closing song comes on?
I leave just before the song comes on.
Clubs close around 3 or 4 a.m.
What do you do when you don't come home
all week long? You pack all your clothes?
We go to Seoul or Cheonan.
We go to other clubs if we hear
they have good DJs or good music.
I'm sure you had an inkling that
she went to nightclubs, right?
Yes, I did kind of hear about it.
But I didn't know she went every day.
- Are you surprised? / - Yes, I am.
- But she doesn't have a boyfriend. / - Right.
Are you relieved or disappointed?
She wouldn't care, probably.
Why can't she meet men at nightclubs?
Oh, you don't understand that, huh?
So the daughter is wondering
why her mom would go to nightclubs.
Why go if she's not going to meet men?
Since I deal with people at work
I get stressed out.
So when I go to clubs and watch people
I get to relieve stress.
I don't really care about men.
When you say you watch people,
I'm sure there are many types of people there.
What makes you relieve stress?
I watch people get drunk and stumble over.
I like to watch people get into fights.
- You're a spectator. / - Right.
Have you ever been
to a nightclub yourself?
I became an adult last year
and went to a club out of curiosity.
It was so loud and crowded.
So I just came right out.
I wondered why my mom likes to go to
loud clubs when she doesn't dance well.
She's a spectator.
How do you know she doesn't dance well?
At home... Oh gee.
She dances when she gets excited.
I wish I didn't see that.
Ma'am! Is it okay for her to go to clubs?
- No way. / - Why not?
She's too young and naive.
I once went to a club in Daejeon and
girls were half-naked and
boys were walking around drunk.
She must never go.
How old were you when you first went to a club?
(Flustered)
How old were you?
She's so nice though.
She can't lie.
Your husband passed away years ago
and your daughter is all grown up now.
We understand that you want to relieve stress.
But why won't you call? She's worried.
I don't check my phone when I'm having fun.
Even when I see that she's calling
I know she'll just nag at me to come
back early, so I don't answer it.
She said she texted you that she was sick.
Why didn't you text her back?
I knew she was pretending.
See? They know.
How did you know?
She's not the type to get sick.
You're very healthy, huh?
How can you be so sure though?
She could really be sick one day.
She hasn't gotten sick and my mom is with her.
If it was really urgent, my mom would call.
Why don't you think of it this way?
What if your daughter went out
and you couldn't reach her?
That would start a war.
That would start a war?
That's how your daughter feels, ma'am.
She would get angry and call until I answer.
Really?
Why do you do that?
She won't answer, so I call until she does.
Because I'm worried about her.
She's doing the same thing to you.
I am older and have experience.
But she's still too young.
So from what age is it okay to go out?
I would say 25 years old.
So after she turns 25
she can go to clubs every day like you?
- No, she can't. / - That's absurd.
You're saying that because you know it's wrong.
You know that she could be in danger.
But you're saying that it's safe for you to go out.
That's ridiculous.
That's right. You shouldn't think you're safe.
I am safe.
(Frustrated!)
Have you ever suggested to go
with your mom when she goes out?
She won't let me go with her.
- She won't? / - She won't.
Why won't you let her go with you?
Families aren't supposed to have fun together.
Then what do families do?
Families watch television at home.
(Absurd)
But what we don't understand is...
Your daughter says she pays her own tuition
with the money she's saved up since she was a child.
Where do you spend your money?
She said she gives you allowance, too.
I give myself a gift once a month.
What kind of gift?
I like shoes, accessories and beauty products.
So I buy myself those things.
What about your daughter?
- I don't get anything for her. / - Why not?
She buys her own things.
This is ridiculous.
When I watched this program on TV it wasn't so bad,
but being here, this is just ridiculous.
- To hear it in person. / - Frustrating, right?
Your lips are trembling as you speak.
Have you ever gotten a present from your mom?
Never.
- Not once? / - Think hard.
Not even a birthday gift?
I never got a birthday gift either.
I didn't get her a gift, but I gave her a card.
Did you ever cook seaweed soup for her birthday?
You mean you wrote a card, right?
I never made seaweed soup.
She never made seaweed soup either.
Credit card.
I'm not good at cooking.
Did you ever cook seaweed soup for your mom?
She's never home.
She isn't?
She's never home on her birthday.
I never got to congratulate her in person.
Since my mom and I have similar birthdays
my grandmother cooks seaweed soup for me.
If your birthdays are only a day apart
you must've gone into labor on your birthday.
I was with my friends for my birthday party
and I went to labor.
I went to the hospital and had her in 10 minutes.
That's why our birthdays are only a day apart.
You were partying until you gave birth?
- Right up until then. / - Wow.
Since you're here, let's be honest here.
You buy yourself a gift every month.
You must spend quite a bit of money.
She also goes to nightclubs.
She has no money for her daughter.
I spend as little as $3,000 a month
to $5,000 max.
On buying things? Not at nightclubs?
I don't spend much at nightclubs.
I just buy gifts for myself.
Can you afford to spend that much?
You must earn quite a bit.
At first, I couldn't afford it
so I would borrow money from people.
I even asked my mom to get a loan.
But now I can afford it.
Why are you so confident?
We are speechless.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Your daughter has a part-time job.
When you see that, don't you feel like
you should save up some money
for you daughter for when she gets married?
I haven't thought about that yet.
I can see the daughter is here today.
She can't talk to her mom.
No one can get through to the mom.
Did you pay back the money you borrowed from your mom?
- How much did you borrow? / - I haven't yet.
- You haven't? / - No.
- How much was the loan? / - $30,000.
You haven't paid her back yet?
No.
- You're not planning to ever? / - Right.
- Why not? / - Because it's your mom's money?
Yes. We're family.
- I'm so frustrated. / - Do you give her money?
I'm sure she gives money for living expenses.
No, I don't.
So everything you earn is for yourself?
Only for myself.
I've been on Hello Counselor for many years now
and I've never met anyone like her.
I've heard so many concerns here,
but I feel like I'm talking to a wall.
We've been doing this for 8 years, too.
Let's meet one of her friends.
I think she's one of the members.
She's a former member. Not a current one.
Former member.
(Are they a girl group or something?)
We worked together 10 years ago at a department store.
I went to nightclubs with her until last year.
Now I don't.
Why don't you go anymore?
I don't have enough energy anymore.
No more energy.
As her friend, can you understand her?
To be honest, no.
There isn't a mother like this in the world.
Right?
What did you do at nightclubs?
Did you really just watch people?
We only danced.
When upbeat music was on
we danced like crazy in front of the speakers.
When slow songs came on, we just watched people.
Since you say you can dance well sober,
can you show us?
I don't dance well.
You're sober now.
Mom, too.
It'd be embarrassing to dance alone,
so everyone in the front row, stand up and dance.
Stand up.
Help them out.
(Bursting with spirit right as the music starts)
WJSN, dance with them!
So they're dancing.
They're dancing.
They're dancing.
(A male customer shows up)
Here comes a man. What do you do?
You do dance with men.
(Defending her friend)
She's defending her friend.
Are you here alone?
I came with a friend. What about you?
I'm here with a friend, too.
(Hello! I'm a long-shot pool player from Nokbeon)
- Have fun. / - Okay.
Thank you, everybody.
So it's true that nothing happens.
Let's applaud to those who were forced to dance.
Thank you.
So the friend blocked Seunghyeon from coming.
Did you normally do that?
Yes, we protect each other.
Do you have children?
Yes. I have a son in middle school.
So he knew that you went to nightclubs?
He doesn't know. It's okay.
He's in his second year of middle school?
- He should know. / - He doesn't know about clubs.
He pretends not to know to his mom.
I did the same thing.
Your friend has a daughter.
Did you ever tell your friend that she should
go home to her daughter and mother?
Every day.
But she never listened?
She just said, "I'll just sleep away from home."
It must be upsetting that she never comes home.
Yes. She doesn't do anything at home.
She leaves all her clothes on the floor.
She never does the laundry or the dishes.
Then why do you give your mom
the money you earned by working?
Because she's my mom.
Since my father passed away
I want to fill in that gap for her.
Their roles have reversed.
Look. I think she's earning enough money.
You're just letting her spend more money.
Did you work many part-time jobs
to give her money?
Yes, I've worked many jobs.
I worked from 6-12 hours.
What kind of jobs?
I worked as a waitress in a restaurant.
As you can tell already,
she matured at an early age.
She could be upset or frustrated but
she controls her emotions perfectly
so that she doesn't hurt her mom's feelings.
She's trying hard not to get hurt, too.
That's even more heartbreaking.
Were you ever hurt by your mom?
My mom sometimes has a temper.
One time she cussed at me and
hit me with the remote control for no reason.
I can't remember why she did that.
Do you remember, ma'am?
- No, I don't. / - You don't remember?
How did she cuss at you?
"You b... Are you retar..."
You're pretty good.
(She turns her pain into laughter)
Is your mom on good terms with grandma?
No, they're on terrible terms.
My mom can't control her temper
so she yelled at grandma.
I saw grandmother crying a few times.
How can she do that to her own mother?
My grandma works for a moving company.
- She works? / - Yes.
She hurt her wrist and arm,
so she got surgery and went through rehab.
She said she can't do house chores anymore,
but my mom never cared.
She is your own mother.
Why did you treat her that way?
Even if I don't help out,
my daughter helps my mom out,
so I never cared.
Is this why?
You had your daughter at a young age
and you were hurt.
Are you acting this way because you feel
like you never got to enjoy your life?
Compensation mentality!
That's part of it.
After I gave birth so young,
I saw my friends go out and have fun.
I had to stay at home.
I got depressed for 2-3 years
and never left the house.
My husband gave me money so that
I could go out and have fun.
He took care of our daughter for me.
I guess that became a habit.
Your husband passed away so soon.
Are you still in shock from his death?
I was shocked and couldn't do anything.
My daughter was in fourth grade.
She put her arm around me and
said, "Cheer up, mom. You got me."
I realized then that I need to get a grip,
but I couldn't give up on having fun.
It's like having a game addiction.
She knows it's wrong,
but she can't give it up.
You know that you're overdoing it, right?
- Me? / - Going out to have fun.
No.
Staying out all week isn't overdoing it?
I should have fun while I can.
I couldn't do this for many more years.
I think you could do it for 15 years more.
To sum up how your daughter has lived,
I think this is how she might feel.
"Am I somebody she doesn't need in her life?
Am I being loved?"
How do you feel? I'm so curious.
When I was young
I thought I was adopted.
But I found my birth certificate.
She had one,
so I knew I wasn't adopted.
Maybe this is how you feel.
Are you giving money to your mom
so that she will care for you?
Are you giving her money so that
she'll show some interest in you?
Yes.
Imagine a little kid feeling this way.
She was neglected for too many years.
My daughter is older now,
so I try to talk to her about our concerns.
Have you ever tried doing that?
Even if I talk to her about my concerns,
she wouldn't be able to solve them for me.
She should be having fun with her friends.
Why should she talk to me?
(All she can do is smile)
I feel like I'm seeing my older sister.
My nieces were 3 years old and 3 months old
when her husband passed away from kidney failure.
My sister really enjoyed going to clubs, too.
I guess she couldn't handle his death.
But she didn't go clubbing for that long.
But my niece always got worried
when her mom went out.
"What if that cab driver kidnaps my mom?"
She was afraid that her mom would disappear.
That is why I can understand how she feels.
It's okay to do it temporarily but
you've been doing this for more than 10 years.
You must live the way you think
but you think the way you live.
That's why we think you should end this.
Don't be stressed out anymore.
Acknowledge your mom's way of life
and just live your own life. Can't you do that?
That's what I thought, too.
But recently, I went to see my dad.
I looked at the visitors' log.
I didn't know, but mom visited
my dad's grave quite often.
She wrote, "Honey, it's hard.
Our daughter is growing up well.
Show up in my dream and listen to me."
When I read that, I realized that
my dad was the only one she could rely on.
Now that my dad isn't here
I want to share that burden with her.
Did you love your husband very much?
You relied on him a lot?
Yes, I did.
Sure. It's tough and lonely.
Why did you go see your husband?
I go whenever I miss him or when things are hard.
You want to rely on him, right?
Were you lonely often, too?
I get lonely quite easily.
Since many years have passed,
you could find another man
who could love you.
She doesn't want that.
- You don't want that? / - Not yet.
No.
You are grateful to your daughter, right?
Yes, of course.
Without her,
I could've ended up worse.
I'm always grateful to her
but I don't normally show that.
She doesn't express her feelings.
Why don't you tell her now?
Look at that.
(No no)
Why not?
You may not be able to be with her often,
but when your daughter really wants it
look her in her eyes and listen to her.
Even if you don't have anything to say
just listening to what she has to say
could be a big help to your daughter.
I know it feels awkward,
but try to express how you feel
to your daughter for the first time.
I know you're shy, but please try.
Just briefly. Look her in the eyes.
You came to Seoul today.
If you can't do it here, you'll never do it.
Think about it.
Just briefly. Look at her.
(She finally holds the mic up)
Yeojin.
Oh, this is awkward.
I can't promise that I won't go to clubs,
but I'll try to go less.
Please understand me going about 3 times a week.
I will try hard to talk to you more.
She was holding back well until now.
Not just your promise but
tell her how grateful you are, too.
How you really feel inside.
Why won't you tell her?
- She won't know unless you tell her. / - Foolishly.
Just once.
I will introduce you to a great nightclub.
It's in Shinsa-dong. It's a popular place.
Do it.
Yeojin.
Must I do it?
You're sorry and grateful. Tell her.
I'm always sorry and grateful.
I may not show it, but I always think of you.
I hope you always stay the good girl that you are.
And tell her you love her.
I love you.
I love you.
Yeojin, you held back tears so well.
Why did you suddenly burst out crying?
It's the first time she's looked at me and said it.
She finally called your name softly.
- I got chills. / - How did it feel?
She sounds like your mom?
Yes, finally.
It finally feels like I'm her actual daughter.
I came out of her womb.
Seunghyeon.
I know exactly what you're going through.
I was hurt when I was young, too
and I was often intimidated by others.
Try to be a little more understanding.
More?
Just be as understanding as you are now.
I think once time passes by,
she'll come around.
Try to compromise a little.
Don't bother your mom too much and
you should try to care for your daughter more.
I think it's a concern, too.
Bona.
Even when I have close members with me
there are things that only mom can take care of.
- Sure. / - That's true.
Many thoughts are going through your head.
A daughter needs her mom so much.
I hope this is resolved well.
It's a concern.
I think it's a serious concern.
If you can relate to her concern,
please press the button.
(What does the audience think?)
4, 3, 2, 1!
- Please stop. / - Please stop.
Please say a word to your mother.
Mom.
I won't tell you to stop going to clubs.
Just try to go less.
Tell me when you're sick.
Please let me know of any hardships you go through.
Thank you.
Their roles are reversed.
- Right. / - Their roles are reversed.
Please show us the result.
"Mom, Where Are You Going?"
To the nightclub.
The last digit is a 7!
They got over 100 votes.
How many votes did they get out of 200?
157? 167?
147!
(They got 147 votes)
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