great question from Ashlee very
important one she wants to know my
thoughts on depression healing and
personal struggle so here are my
thoughts first of all you guys know that
I have suffered with anxiety my entire
life Chris and I have two children that
have suffered with significant anxiety
too I had serious postpartum depression
when Sawyer our daughter who's now 17
was born and when I say serious I mean
Hartford meds no nursing
around-the-clock supervision serious so
when it comes to any kind of depression
or mental health issue what do I think
about it I think they're real I don't
think that we do enough in this country
to remove the stigmatism and I don't
think there's anything wrong with having
a mental health issue either with
yourself or with somebody that you love
I think about mental health a lot like I
think about diabetes people that have
diabetes have an inefficient physical
system for processing insulin which is
why you need to inject yourself with
more of it when you have a mental health
issue part of your wiring is
insufficient to help you process day to
day life that's it and there are certain
chemicals that are helping you those
certain therapies that will help you so
here's the deal
the way I feel about is this this is not
something to ignore if you have
depression if you have anxiety if you
have post-traumatic stress disorder if
you have any kind of mental health
condition it's nothing to be ashamed of
and it's nothing to hide and it's
something to hit head-on with there's
one thing one thing that if you did
every single day no joke it would make
an extraordinary difference in whatever
mental health issue you're struggling
with and that is exercise and the reason
why I say this is not based on my own
personal experience it's based on the
fact that the I think it's the American
Psychiatric Association this is coming
from dr. John Ratey a friend of mine
who's written a ton of books about not
only ADHD but also the benefits of
exercise and what it has on your brain
but he's also a professor at Harvard and
a practicing clinician and this is his
area of expertise and one of the things
that they now mandate as a diagnosis for
anybody
depression or anxiety or any mental
illness frankly is you gotta exercise
every day and the reason you've gotta
exercise every day is because what we
know about human beings is that when you
physically move your physiology changes
and that changes your brain getting your
heart rate up getting outside breathing
feeling connected getting out of your
house which may make you feel depressed
and trapped doing that every day that
physical push you don't have to run you
don't have to go to aerobics class class
get outside with your dog in the woods
walk with a good friend for two or three
miles doing that every single day not
only moves your body which changes your
mind it gets you out of your physical
environment which is one of the things
that people with depression tend to have
a hard time doing and it also creates a
bit of momentum and a bit of a routine
in your life you take on just that
single thing get outside and exercise
every single day as if your life depends
upon it because you know what it does
your brain needs it your body needs it
your mental health needs it so you know
in closing be open don't be ashamed get
the help that you need if you want to
start doing something today that you can
manage every single day you can't go
wrong with forcing yourself to exercise
and by the way what can you use to get
your butt out the door you guessed it
the five-second rule five four three two
one
give yourself a push and you're gonna
feel a lot better and some of you have
thought of suicide
some of you are in the darkest of
darkest valleys and I was there once too
I was a is old depressed nine years old
even darker at ten years old I came to
the edge and I thought to myself there
is no hope at age ten tried to drown
myself in six inches of 15 centimeters
of water I told my dad I just wanted to
relax but really I wanted to end my life
I had enough the first two times I
rolled over I was trying to work out how
much error holding my lungs before other
did out the third time
in my mind knowing that I wanted to get
out of here because of the bullying in
my life because I was going to be a
burden to my parents it had nothing to
look forward to I realized at that
moment that if I actually went through
with committing suicide I would leave a
greater burden for my parents than they
already had so when I saw in my mind my
mom and my dad and my brother crying at
my grave if I went through with that one
thought saved
of encouragement you can save a person's
life
[Music]
you may have arms and legs but unless
you know three things number one who are
you what your value is number two what
is your purpose here in life and number
three what is your destiny when you're
done here if you don't know the answers
of any of those three questions you're
more disabled than I if I gave you a
billion dollars would you be happy if
you gave me a billion dollars I'd be
very happy but then if my mom dies
tonight am I happy no life is worth
living when you find purpose Nick I
don't know my purpose is I don't know my
parents want me to do this my teachers
want me to do that my friends think that
I should do this and I don't know what
to do and you're torn man you don't know
what to do you have to make important
decisions man you don't know what to do
who do you believe
[Music]
follow your heart if that's who you want
to be
if that's what you want to do in life
and walk to him one day at a time you
got to come to the truth of knowing who
you are and why you're here William
Barclay he said the greatest two days in
anyone's life the day you were born and
the day you knew why I know that there
are a billion people going hungry today
I know that this year a million people
will commit suicide it's one every 40
seconds I know today they're 120 million
slaves and I've met sex slaves
so many people tease each other you know
you're too short you too tall you look
whatever a different hair and all that
it doesn't matter see thing is when
you're in school when you're growing up
in life it actually sort of matters to
people how you look and any matters to
you because it matters to others why why
does it matter how you look because if
they don't like you then who will if
they don't accept you then who will I
know so many teenagers who look
themselves in the mirror and wish that
they had a different body I want to ask
you what are you gonna believe are you
gonna believe in yourself you're gonna
believe everybody else's judgement on
you are you gonna believe people when
they say that you're a failure no one
really likes you don't really cares
about you that's what this world is I
want to look like her if I was taller
shorter smarter or popular whatever you
want it's not enough and the fear that
we have is that we're gonna be alone
that we're not good enough and you know
we have to change ourselves you know so
many people put me down and say Nick you
look too weird and no one's really a
friend and you can't do this and you
can't do that and I couldn't change
anything I it's not like it's fixing my
hair one day and everything's fine it's
not like you know just whatever I
couldn't change my circumstance
I couldn't just one day wake up and say
hey give me arms and legs I need arms
legs but it was so hard because people
put me down and I started believing that
I was not good enough I started
believing that I was a failure
that I'll never ever be somebody who
people would like or people would accept
and it was so hard man I thought to
myself I you know I can't go on to go on
to a soccer field with like everybody
else and I can't ride my bike and I
can't skateboard and all these sort of
things I started getting depressed I
thought what kind of purpose do I have
to live I mean do you are you just here
to live to die I mean is there not a
purpose for me is there not a purpose in
life
and I had questions and no answers and I
asked my mom and dad why did this happen
I asked doctors why did this happen they
don't know there are some things in life
that are out of your control that you
can't change and you got to live with
the choice that we have there is either
to give up or keep on going every single
human being has value and my values are
determined on how I look or what job I
have or where I'm from where I was born
how much money all that stuff nothing
and it's funny how the friends around
you sort of determine who you are you
change yourself you come to school and
everybody swore around me in high school
so I started swearing why because it's
the cool thing to do everybody swears so
I don't want to be left out and I want
to be accepted so I started swearing you
go to a party everybody's drinking so
you drink why well everybody else around
me is doing a big deal and you start
losing yourself and you stop putting
your security in temporary things
you start putting your happiness in
things that were last you can get drunk
or you like but in the morning you're
gonna be sober with a headache with the
same problems Nick you're not good
enough Nick just give up Nick you're
never gonna get a job you won't get
married you can't even hold your wife's
hand
what kind of a father are you gonna be
if you can't even pick up your kids when
they cry
[Music]
but I'll tell you there are some times
in life where you fall down and you feel
like you don't have the strength to get
back up because I tell you I'm down here
face down and I have no arms no legs it
should be impossible for me to get back
up but it's not you see I will try 100
times to get up any five fail 100 times
if I fail and I give up do you think
that I'm ever gonna get up
no but if I fail I try again and again
and again for as long as I try there's
always that chance of getting up does
that make sense and it's not the end
until you've given up and just the fact
that you're here should persuade you do
you have another chance to get back up
[Music]
that we have a choice I did to be angry
for what we don't have or be thankful
for what we do have you have a choice
every day you come to school to either
tease somebody gossip about somebody or
you can go up to them and encourage them
there's still hope I'm not here today to
tell you that I understand your pain I
don't know how it feels to be abused I
don't know how it feels to feel quote
fat and you're gonna eating disorder I
don't know how it feels to have a broken
home but I just want you to know that
it's not the end it matters how you're
gonna finish are you gonna finish strong
at age 10 I actually tried to commit
suicide by trying to drown myself in my
bathtub
and the only reason I decided to stay
was because I didn't want to leave my
loved ones with that pain so I decided
to give my broken pieces a chance man am
I glad that I'm still here today
I still have no arms or legs but
everything's changed when I'm 24 years
old five six years ago I was in
California and I never met anybody I'm
selecting me when I was 10 years old I
wish I would have met somebody like me
never did didn't get that miracle but at
24 in California saw a little boy with
no arms and no legs 19 months old just
like me I knew he was going to be
bullied I knew who was gonna go through
the pressure I knew he would feel alone
I knew that he would give worried if
he's ever gonna have a girlfriend and so
on and so I got the father to bring him
up on stage in front of 2,000 people and
everyone was crying and it was a
materialization of when you don't get a
miracle you can be a miracle for someone
else think of the three biggest
discourages in your life they're not
your biggest discourages you are but I
hope you are inspired to know that if I
can dream big then so can you
that honor was find your piece and
you'll make your walls doors I want you
to know that no matter where you are in
life no matter how low you have sunk
no matter how bleak your situation this
is not the end
this is not the end of your story this
is not the final chapter of your life
[Music]
I know it may be hard right now but if
you just hang in there
stick it out stay with me for a little
while
you will find that this tough moment
will pass and if you are committed to
using this pain using it to build your
character finding a greater meaning for
the pain you will find that in time you
can turn your life around and help
others going through the same struggles
[Music]
the world right now is in the middle of
a mental health crisis it's estimated
almost half the population suffers from
depression at some stage throughout
their life rather than join the queue
it's important we learn why we get down
and then how we can change it because
believe it or not we create our own
negative feelings and we can also ensure
that we turn our lives around and be a
positive change for others the reason
anyone gets depressed always comes down
to the consistent thoughts we think and
the consistent beliefs we hold let me
say that again the reason anyone gets
depressed always comes down to the
consistent thoughts we think and the
consistent beliefs we hold the point
here is that anyone that is depressed is
so because there is an external factor
that didn't materialize in their life
they have lost something outside of
their control or don't have something
that is out of their control
in school we are taught how to get a job
but no one teaches us how to live in a
state of happiness no one teaches us how
important our conscious and unconscious
thoughts and associations are is our
happiness not worth more than a job yes
it is and before you say happiness won't
pay my bills
happiness will pay your bills when you
realize you will be 10 times more
energized focused and take positive
action in your life when you first
choose to develop yourself as a priority
and then get to the stuff of the world
I've seen some people who many would
consider to have it all in their life
because they thought they were not good
enough a thought a belief within them
told them they were not worthy these
people that many were jealous of many
envious of were not good enough
you must value yourself enough
to take the time every single day to
work on you to engage in something that
will ensure you are a positive influence
on the world
this of course doesn't mean life will
suddenly be perfect the same life
challenges will show up but if your mind
is strong if your mind is at peace your
reaction to the challenging times will
be very different your reaction will be
how can I make this work now why is this
happening to me and then others will
look to you not with pity but with hope
because your strength will become their
home their strength you really can't be
that powerful you can't ditch the
victims story you can leave the pain
behind and focus on how you will react
next how you will react positively
read rial you can read to get your line
in a positive place take steps to ensure
you will be in a better position next
time whatever pain you are suffering
from how you can ensure it won't show
again take little steps and soon you
will be at the top of the staircase
don't give up you are worthy you are
more than worthy
you deserve to experience how great life
can be and you owe it to the world to be
that positive change for others to
inspire others who will look to you and
say he did it she did it and I can do it
too
[Music]
[Music]
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