ANNOUNCER: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS PAID FOR
BY THE FRIENDS AND PARTNERS OF JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES.
JOYCE: THERE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL PROMISE OF GOD
AND IT BASICALLY SAYS THAT, "FOR YOUR FORMER SHAME,
GOD WILL GIVE YOU A TWOFOLD RECOMPENSE."
AND RECOMPENSE IS ANOTHER WORD FOR REWARD.
GINGER: AS WE WALK THROUGH EACH NEW DAY,
WE ALL HAVE QUESTIONS.
THEY'RE JUST PART OF LIFE, BUT DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE
ANSWERS FOR YOU?
GOD SAYS WHEN WE LOOK, WE'LL FIND HIM.
HE'S NOT TRYING TO HIDE ANYTHING.
SO TOGETHER, WE ARE DISCOVERING LIFE'S EVERYDAY ANSWERS.
GINGER: WELCOME TO "EVERYDAY ANSWERS."
YOU KNOW, PAIN IS SOMETHING THAT WE ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH
BUT HOW WE CHOOSE TO DEAL WITH IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.
SOMETIMES WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
SO TODAY, JOYCE IS GOING TO ANSWER THE QUESTION,
"HOW DO I GET RID OF MY PAIN?" FIRST, SHE'S SHARING IN DETAIL
ABOUT THE PAIN SHE ENDURED FOR YEARS.
JOYCE: THE THINGS THAT I'M GONNA SHARE WITH YOU TODAY,
I'M NOT DOING IT BECAUSE I WANT TO BECAUSE, IN FACT, I DON'T.
IT'S VERY EASY NOW TO STAND UP AND SAY MY FATHER SEXUALLY
ABUSED ME BUT TO TELL YOU THE THINGS I'M GONNA TELL YOU TODAY,
SOME OF THE DETAILS, THAT'S NOT EASY.
AND I DON'T DO IT FOR ME.
I DON'T DO IT BECAUSE I NEED TO, BUT I BELIEVE THAT SEXUAL ABUSE
HAS BECOME SUCH A WORD THAT WE ACCEPT THAT NOBODY--
THAT PEOPLE DON'T EVEN REALLY GET IT ANYMORE.
IT'S JUST LIKE, "OH, YOU KNOW, YEAH, YOU WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED."
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND MORE ABOUT THE PAIN, AND THE
TRAUMA OF WHAT THAT MEANS TO HELP YOU, NOT ONLY UNDERSTAND
YOURSELF, BUT DEAL WITH SOME OF THE OTHER PEOPLE YOU MIGHT
BE DEALING WITH.
MY FATHER DID MANY PERVERTED THINGS AND YOU CAN BELIEVE ME
TODAY WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I'M ONLY GONNA TELL YOU A FEW.
THERE'S SOME THAT WOULD BE WAY TOO DISTASTEFUL FOR ME TO TRY TO
TALK ABOUT IN A CROWD LIKE THIS.
HE MADE ME LOOK THROUGH THE KEYHOLE AND WATCH HIM
AND MY MOTHER HAVING SEX AND THEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO
TELL HIM HOW IT MADE ME FEEL.
IF I WALKED INTO A ROOM WHERE HE WAS AND NOBODY ELSE WAS IN
THERE, HE WOULD GRAB HIMSELF OR REVEAL HIS PRIVATE PARTS AS IF
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO EXCITE ME.
ANY TIME HE HAD OPPORTUNITY, HE GRABBED ME IN PERSONAL PLACES
SO I DESPISED EVEN HAVING TO GO INTO A ROOM WHERE HE WAS AT.
AND I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS AT HOME, MY GREATEST GOAL WAS TO
STAY OUT OF THE SPACE HE WAS IN.
IF HE WOULD GO TO THE BASEMENT OR THE GARAGE TO DO SOME WORK,
HE WOULD TELL ME TO WAIT 5 OR 10 MINUTES
AND THEN COME WHERE HE WAS AT, ACT AS IF I WAS LOOKING FOR HIM.
AND THEN HE WOULD MOLEST ME IN THOSE SITUATIONS, TOUCHING ME
AND MAKE ME TOUCH HIM.
I WAS CONTINUALLY FEARFUL THAT MY MOTHER WOULD COME IN THE ROOM
AND CATCH HIM AND BLAME ME.
WHEN HE WAS GONNA GO PLACES IN THE CAR, HE TOLD ME TO BEG TO GO
WITH HIM IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER AND THEN HE WOULD TELL ME NO
AND THEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRYING TO GET HIM TO LET ME GO
UNTIL HE FINALLY GAVE IN.
AND SO, IT'S KIND OF INTERESTING, HE HAD THIS THING
ALL SET UP TO WHERE IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS ME.
I, OF COURSE, DID NOT REALLY WANT TO GO BECAUSE I KNEW
WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN IF I WENT, BUT I HAD TO DO WHAT I WAS TOLD.
MY MOTHER WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE EVERY FRIDAY MORNING
AND I SO DESPERATELY WANTED TO GO WITH HER, AND HE WOULD
MAKE ME BEG TO STAY HOME OR MAKE AN EXCUSE ABOUT WHY
I COULDN'T GO.
AND THEN WHILE HE WAS GONE--WHILE SHE WAS GONE,
HE WOULD RAPE ME.
WHEN WE WENT SWIMMING, I HAD TO ASK HIM TO TEACH ME
TO SWIM SO HE COULD TAKE ME OUT IN THE WATER
AND PUT HIS HANDS ON ME.
THERE WAS NO PLACE WHERE I EVER FELT SAFE WHEN I WAS GROWING UP.
HE WANTED ME TO BRING GIRLS HOME FROM SCHOOL SO HE COULD
TRY TO DO THINGS TO THEM.
I MANAGED TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR ALL THE GIRLS AT SCHOOL,
BUT HE DID ABUSE THE GIRL THAT LIVED NEXT DOOR TO US
A FEW TIMES.
SHE AND I WERE FRIENDS AND I REMEMBER MY FATHER
MAKING ME GET HER INTO A PLACE WHERE HE COULD BE ALONE WITH HER
AND THEN HE'D TELL ME TO GO OFF AND WAIT IN ANOTHER
AREA WHILE HE DID THINGS TO HER.
AND I WAS SO, SO PROFOUNDLY ASHAMED AND EMBARRASSED.
I WAS ASHAMED OF ME.
I WAS ASHAMED OF MY PARENTS.
I WAS ASHAMED OF WHAT THEY DID.
AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I WAS AN ADULT THAT I UNDERSTOOD
THE PROBLEM OF SHAME AND WHEN YOU'RE ASHAMED OF WHO YOU ARE,
HOW THAT POISONS ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ACTIONS.
AND I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT THE WORD OF GOD SAYS THAT,
"FOR YOUR FORMER SHAME, I WILL GIVE YOU A DOUBLE REWARD.
I WILL GIVE YOU A TWOFOLD RECOMPENSE."
I REMEMBER MY FATHER BEING VERY MEAN TO MY MOTHER.
EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT AS LONG AS I CAN EVER REMEMBER,
MY FATHER WENT OUT AND GOT DRUNK, I MEAN,
DRUNK, DRUNK, DOG DRUNK, FALLIN' DOWN DRUNK.
AND WHEN HE DRANK, HE GOT EVEN MEANER THAN NORMAL
AND VERY FREQUENTLY HE WOULD COME HOME ANGRY
AND VIOLENT.
IF MY MOTHER SAID OR DID ONE THING, ONE LITTLE THING
THAT WOULD SET HIM OFF, HE'D HIT HER AND SMACK HER.
AND THERE WERE TIMES WHEN I WOULD FIND HER--
I REMEMBER ONE TIME IN PARTICULAR, I FOUND HER
IN THE BATHROOM FLOOR THE NEXT MORNING ALL BEAT UP.
AND HE CONSTANTLY USED FILTHY LANGUAGE.
STILL TO THIS DAY, I CANNOT STAND CURSING.
I JUST--GOD, I HEARD SO MUCH OF THAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP
AND I DESPISE IT.
HE DIDN'T PHYSICALLY HIT ME THAT MUCH BUT HE WOULD ALWAYS
THREATEN.
LIKE, I REMEMBER HIM PUTTIN' HIS FIST IN MY FACE LIKE I EVERY
TIME I WOULD DO SOMETHIN' HE DIDN'T WANT AND THAT THREAT
WAS THERE, YOU KNOW?
AND STILL TO THIS DAY, I CAN'T STAND IT IF SOMEBODY
GETS THEIR HANDS TOO CLOSE TO MY FACE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, DON'T DO THAT.
HE WAS A CONTROLLER.
EVERYTHING HAD TO BE HIS WAY.
HE WAS VERY DEMANDING.
HE BELITTLED MY MOTHER ALL THE TIME.
THE FACT THAT MY MOTHER NEVER CONFRONTED MY FATHER
AND THAT SHE COWARD UNDER THAT TREATMENT--AND I HOPE
SOME PEOPLE HEAR THIS THAT ARE PUTTING UP WITH THAT KIND
OF STUFF.
IT HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON ME.
LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN', YOUR CHILDREN LEARN MORE
BY JUST BEING AROUND YOU AND SEEING HOW YOU HANDLE
OR DON'T HANDLE THINGS THAN ANYTHING THAT YOU TRY
TO TELL THEM.
THE FACT THAT SHE COWARDED UNDER HIS TREATMENT REALLY AFFECTED
ME AND SO I GREW UP DESPISING WEAKNESS BECAUSE I HATED
THE FACT THAT MY MOTHER WAS TOO WEAK TO DEAL WITH HIM.
AND SO, I WAS DETERMINED THAT I WOULD NEVER BE WEAK.
WELL, IN A WAY, THAT WAS GOOD BECAUSE THAT DETERMINATION
HELPED GET ME THROUGH SOME OF THE YOUNG YEARS AND EVEN SOME
OF MY EARLY YEARS IN MINISTRY WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE
TURNED AGAINST ME.
WE LOST FRIENDS AND FAMILY, GOT ASKED TO LEAVE OUR CHURCH.
I MEAN, BEING A WOMAN IN MINISTRY 30 YEARS AGO
WAS NOT POPULAR.
AND THE WOMEN WHO WENT BEFORE YOU AND PAVED THE WAY FOR SOME
OF YOU THAT ARE COMING UP NOW, YOU BETTER THANK GOD FOR SOME OF
THE STUFF THAT WE WENT THROUGH THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
AND SO, I HAD TO LEARN IN MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE THAT WE ALL DO
HAVE WEAKNESSES INCLUDING ME, AND THAT I COULDN'T HATE MYSELF
BECAUSE OF THEM, AND THAT I HAD TO TRUST GOD WITH SOME OF THEM,
DO MY BEST TO OVERCOME, LET HIS STRENGTH FLOW THROUGH THEM.
BUT ANOTHER THING THAT BECAME A REAL PROBLEM FOR ME WAS
I JUST REALLY HAD A PROBLEM WITH WEAK PEOPLE.
I MEAN, I COULD NOT HANDLE WHINERS AND PEOPLE WHO SAID,
"I CAN'T," AND, "IT'S TOO HARD."
AND I AM JUST LIKE, "GET AWAY FROM ME.
DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HARD IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT HARD IS."
BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT ARE JUST BUILT
BY GOD IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY CAN HANDLE A LOT MORE
THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
AND THANK GOD I HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
AND THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE THAT HANDLE THAT MUCH.
AND HERE AGAIN, WE NEED TO RESPECT PEOPLE FOR THE WAY
THEY ARE.
AND IF PEOPLE ARE DOING THEIR BEST, THEN WE SHOULD NEVER
PUT THEM DOWN.
AND FOR WHATEVER REASON, I DO BELIEVE THAT MY MOTHER
WAS DOING WHAT SHE KNEW TO DO.
IN THOSE DAYS, NOBODY HEARD OF ABUSE.
NOBODY TALKED ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE.
THERE WERE NO OPRAHS ON TELEVISION.
THERE WAS NO PROGRAMS ON TELEVISION MAKING IT PLAIN
WHAT ABUSE DID TO PEOPLE.
NOBODY TALKED ABOUT IT.
NOBODY TALKED ABOUT IT.
BACK THEN PEOPLE DIDN'T-- RARELY HEARD OF ANYBODY
GETTING A DIVORCE.
AND SO, IT WAS 30 YEARS AFTER ALL THIS HAPPENED BEFORE
MY MOTHER FINALLY TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT.
AND SHE SAID, "I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I LET YOUR FATHER DO TO
YOU BUT THE TRUTH IS IS I JUST COULDN'T FACE THE SCANDAL."
SHE SAID, "I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR BROTHER.
I DIDN'T--" I MEAN, MY MOTHER LIVED ON A FARM IN
SOUTHEAST MISSOURI.
MY DAD DID.
SHE MARRIED MY DAD WHEN SHE WAS 17.
AND SOMEBODY TOLD ME HE'D ALREADY BEAT HER UP ONCE BEFORE
THEY GOT MARRIED SO, YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK THAT WOULD
GIVE YOU A CLUE.
BUT, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE SOMETIMES ARE SO DESPERATE FOR LOVE
THAT THEY DO THINGS THAT DON'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.
AMEN?
AND SO, I--YOU KNOW, I'M NOT MAD AT HER.
I'M NOT MAD AT ANYBODY.
BUT WHEN I HAD MY OWN CHILDREN, IT REALLY BECAME HARD FOR ME TO
UNDERSTAND HOW MY MOTHER COULD NOT HELP ME IN THAT SITUATION.
AND I--TO BE HONEST, I ACTUALLY CAME TO A POINT WHERE IT BECAME
HARDER FOR ME--I THINK I FELT MORE RESENTMENT TOWARD HER
THAN I DID EVEN TOWARD MY DAD BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I KNEW
HE WAS MESSED UP AND--I DIDN'T BACK THEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD.
BUT I LEARNED IN LATER YEARS THROUGH THE WORD OF GOD
THAT HURTING PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
AND I EVEN LEARNED THAT HE HAD GROWN UP IN AN INCESTUOUS
ATMOSPHERE IN HIS OWN FAMILY.
AND SO, HE WAS ACTING OUT SOME LEARNED BEHAVIOR.
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY--IT'S EASIER FOR YOU TO FORGIVE
PEOPLE IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT SOMETHING'S MESSED UP
IN THEM TOO, YOU KNOW?
SO, I WAS ABUSED BY MY FATHER AND ABANDONED BY MY MOTHER
TO THE ABUSE.
AT SCHOOL, I PRETENDED TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE.
ALL THE PRETENSE, MY, MY.
BUT I FELT LONELY ALL THE TIME AND I FELT DIFFERENT ALL
THE TIME.
NEVER FELT LIKE I FIT IN.
I COULDN'T MAKE FRIENDS WITH ANYBODY.
I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE IN AN AFTER-SCHOOL
ACTIVITY.
NEVER WENT TO A BALL GAME OF ANY KIND, NO KIND OF A SPORTS
ACTIVITY.
COULDN'T TAKE PART IN ANYTHING.
I HAD ONLY SO MANY MINUTES TO GET HOME FROM SCHOOL BECAUSE
MY FATHER ALWAYS SUSPECTED THAT I MIGHT BE OUT DOING SOMETHING
WITH A BOY.
IT'S KIND OF INTERESTING THAT GUILT ALWAYS BREEDS SUSPICION.
HAD NO FRIENDS AND, OF COURSE, I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO DATE.
I NEVER ATTENDED A PARTY.
MY FATHER WOULD NOT BUY ME A GRADUATION DRESS, A CLASS RING,
OR SENIOR PICTURES.
HE THOUGHT ALL THOSE THINGS WERE STUPID AND A WASTE OF MONEY.
SO, THEN I HAD TO TRY TO EXPLAIN TO MY CLASSMATES WHY I NEVER
GOT TO DO THE THINGS THAT THEY GOT TO DO.
NEVER CAME TO ANYTHING.
NEVER WENT TO ANYTHING.
COULDN'T GET A CLASS RING.
COULDN'T DO THIS.
COULDN'T DO THAT.
AND SO, THAT WAS MORE PRETENSE AND MAKING UP MORE STORIES.
AND IT WAS JUST AWFUL, JUST ABSOLUTELY AWFUL.
I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG AND THEY HAD
A HALLOWEEN PARTY AT SCHOOL, AND MY MOM DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER
AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE MUCH MONEY ANYWAY AND SHE BOUGHT ME
THIS UGLY, RUBBER WOLF MASK.
AND WHEN ALL THE OTHER LITTLE GIRLS SHOWED UP,
THEIR MOMS HAD MADE THEM PRINCESS COSTUMES,
AND THEY WERE LITTLE FAIRIES, AND THEY HAD ALL THIS CHIFFON,
AND THEY ALL LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL.
AND I HAD MY WOLF MASK.
AND I REMEMBER GOING AND HIDING IN THE CORNER OF THE SCHOOLYARD
BECAUSE I FELT SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THE WAY I LOOKED.
IT'S INTERESTING THE THINGS THAT YOU REMEMBER.
AND I CAN REMEMBER BEING IN THAT CORNER IN THAT SCHOOLYARD
JUST AS PLAIN WITH THAT OLD RUBBER WOLF MASK ON.
I THINK THAT'S KIND OF THE WAY I FELT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE WAS A
FAIRY PRINCESS AND I WAS A WOLF.
I BECAME ASHAMED OF MYSELF BECAUSE OF WHAT WAS BEING DONE
TO ME AND I GREW UP VERY LONELY.
HE TOOK ME WITH HIM TO BARS ON SATURDAY NIGHT WHEN I GOT INTO
MY TEENAGE YEARS WHERE HE WOULD GET VERY DRUNK AND THEN
HE'D FORCE ME TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM IN THE BACKSEAT OF THE CAR.
ONCE A POLICE OFFICER CAUGHT HIM AND I THOUGHT, FINALLY,
SOMEBODY'S GONNA HELP ME.
I WAS SO GLAD.
BUT HE AND MY FATHER TALKED OUTSIDE THE CAR FOR A WHILE
AND THEN MY DAD FINALLY TOLD ME, HE SAID, "I TOLD HIM YOU'RE MY
COUSIN AND HE PROMISED TO LET US GO IF I WOULD LET HIM
HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
SO, YOU'RE GONNA JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE OTHERWISE WE'RE GONNA
END UP GOIN' TO JAIL."
WELL, THANK GOD THE POLICE OFFICER GOT A CALL ON HIS RADIO
AND I GOT OUT OF THAT ONE.
ONE TIME MY MOTHER WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND I WROTE MY FATHER
A LONG LETTER TELLING HIM HOW DIRTY ALL THIS MADE ME FEEL
AND HOW MANY BATHS I TOOK A DAY TRYING TO GET RID
OF THE FEELING.
AND TOOK ALL THE COURAGE THAT I POSSIBLY MUSTER TO WRITE HIM
A LETTER ASKING HIM TO STOP.
AND HE WORKED NIGHTS SO HE GOT HOME AROUND MIDNIGHT AND MAN,
HE CAME IN MY ROOM RANTING, AND RAVING, AND SO MAD.
AND SO, I ENDED UP, JUST OUT OF FEAR,
APOLOGIZING TO HIM AND TELLING HIM I SHOULD HAVE
NEVER WRITTEN THE LETTER.
I'M HAPPY TO SAY THAT GOD GAVE ME THE GRACE TO COMPLETELY
100% FORGIVE MY FATHER.
IT TOOK SOME TIME BUT I WAS ABLE TO DO IT.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: AND I HAD FORGIVEN HIM, BUT I HAD NOT TOTALLY
FORGIVEN HIM AND I REALIZED THAT WHEN GOD ASKED ME SEVERAL YEARS
AGO TO BRING MY MOM AND DAD TO ST. LOUIS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED
IN SOUTHEAST MISSOURI AND MOVE THEM CLOSE TO OUR HOME AND TAKE
CARE OF THEM UNTIL THEY DIED.
AND I THOUGHT, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING."
I MEAN, AT FIRST I JUST REBUKED IT.
I SAID, THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS GOD.
NO LOVING GOOD GOD WOULD ASK ME TO DO THAT.
OH, THAT WAS SO HARD FOR ME.
MY GOD, THAT WAS HARD FOR ME TO DO.
BUT I, BY THEN, I HAD ENOUGH EXPERIENCE TO KNOW WHEN GOD IS
DEALING WITH ME AND I ALSO KNOW THAT GOD NEVER TELLS US TO DO
ANYTHING IF IT'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT FOR OUR GOD.
I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT.
GOD WILL NEVER TELL YOU TO DO ANYTHING IF IT'S NOT GONNA WORK
OUT FOR YOUR GOOD.
ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING MY MOTHER CALL AND SAID,
"YOUR DAD WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME OVER.
HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU."
SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM.
HE'D BEEN CRYIN' FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS."
SHE SAID, "I THINK I KNOW BUT YOU BETTER COME OVER."
SO, DAVE AND I WENT OVER AND HE LOOKED AT ME
AND HE STARTED CRYING AND HE SAID, "I JUST NEED
TO TELL YA HOW SORRY I AM FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU."
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: AND HE SAID, "I'VE BEEN WANTIN'
TO SAY SOMETHING FOR 3 YEARS BUT I JUST WASN'T MAN ENOUGH.
I DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO DO IT."
AND MY FATHER, BY THE WAY, RECEIVED CHRIST THAT DAY.
WE BAPTIZED HIM 10 DAYS LATER.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: AMEN?
AND HE DIED ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO, BUT I MEAN THAT MAN WAS CHANGED.
I MEAN, HE ACTUALLY BECAME A SWEET, OLD GUY.
I COULD ACTUALLY KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK AND NOT BE AFRAID.
AND, SO THAT WAS A BIG BLACK EYE FOR HELL.
I BELIEVE THAT GOD PUTS A SEED OF GREATNESS IN EVERYONE.
I BELIEVE THERE'S MORE CAPABILITIES INSIDE OF YOU
THAN WHAT YOU CAN EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE BUT SATAN TRIES
TO DIMINISH US.
HE TRIES TO DEMEAN US AND BELITTLE US THROUGH
PEOPLE MISTREATING US.
BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW TODAY THAT EVEN THOUGH I WAS
BEIN' ABUSED, AND ABANDONED, AND IT SEEMED THAT NOBODY
WAS GONNA HELP ME, AND THAT IT WOULD NEVER END,
RIGHT IN THE MIDST OF THAT, GOD HAD A PLAN.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: GOD HAD A PLAN.
GINGER: JOYCE IS COMING RIGHT BACK TO SHARE MORE OF HER STORY.
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S EVEN HARD TO LISTEN TO BECAUSE YOU JUST FEEL
HER PAIN.
I REMEMBER THE NIGHT THAT SHE WAS SHARING
THIS AT THE CONFERENCE AND IT WAS HARD FOR HER.
SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN VERY TRANSPARENT ABOUT WHAT
HAS GONE ON IN HER LIFE BUT THIS WAS DETAIL
THAT SHE REALLY NEVER SHARED BEFORE.
SHE DID IT BECAUSE SHE KNEW THAT GOD WANTED HER TO FOR HER
HEALING, AND FOR YOUR HEALING, FOR ALL OF US.
AND THERE'S POWER IN OUR STORY.
THERE'S POWER IN SHARING WHAT GOD HAS DONE.
SO, COMING UP, JOYCE IS GOING TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION,
"HOW TO GET RID OF MY PAIN."
BUT FIRST, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR STORY.
THIS COMES FROM SOCIAL MEDIA AND LAURIE SAYS, "GROWING UP,
MY FAMILY WAS IN THE OCCULT AND I WAS IN BONDAGE TO
SEX TRAFFICKING UNTIL I WAS 19.
MY ROAD HAS NEVER BEEN EASY, BUT GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH
A RICH FAITH AND A LARGE FAMILY OF MY OWN.
I CAN TESTIFY THAT GOD IS WEAVING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
OUT OF MY LIFE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TRANSPARENCY."
SHE SAYS TO JOYCE.
"KEEPING ME IN THE WORD AND HELPING ME TO HAVE A HABIT
OF HOPE."
WOW.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT WITH US.
AND YOU SEE HOW MUCH SO MANY OF YOU ARE HURTING BUT DO KNOW THAT
GOD IS BIGGER THAN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DEALT WITH.
GOD IS HERE TO HELP YOU RIGHT NOW.
SO, TELL US HOW GOD HAS HELPED YOU OR IS HELPING YOU HEAL
FROM THE PAIN OF CHILD ABUSE.
LET US KNOW SO THAT WE CAN ALL SHARE IN OUR EXPERIENCES
AND OUR HEALING TOGETHER.
USE FACEBOOK, TWITTER, #EA.
AND RIGHT NOW, HERE'S JOYCE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION,
"HOW DO I GET RID OF MY PAIN?" JOYCE: I WAS SEXUALLY,
MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSED BY MY FATHER AS
FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER UNTIL I FINALLY LEFT HOME AT AGE 18.
ABUSE MEANS TO BE MISUSED, USED IMPROPERLY, TO BE USED UP,
OR TO BE WASTED, TO USE IN SUCH A WAY AS TO CAUSE
HARM OR DAMAGE OR TO BE TREATED CRUELLY.
PEOPLE LISTENING OR PEOPLE HERE TODAY MAY HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY,
EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY OR VERBALLY ABUSED
BUT ALL TYPES OF ABUSE ARE DAMAGING.
ANYTIME WE'RE MISUSED OR USED FOR A PURPOSE
OTHER THAN WHICH GOD INTENDED US FOR, IT IS DAMAGING.
IT TRAUMATIZES US AND THE WORD "TRAUMA" MEANS ABUSE,
ESPECIALLY REPEATED ABUSE, WHICH TRAUMATIZES THE INDIVIDUAL
BEING ABUSED.
THEY BECOME WOUNDED.
THEY SUSTAIN A SHOCK THAT CREATES SEVERE AND POSSIBLY
LASTING DAMAGE TO THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT
OF THE INDIVIDUAL.
NOW, THINK ABOUT THAT.
WHEN A PERSON HAS BEEN REPEATEDLY MISTREATED,
IT CHANGES THE WAY THEY THINK.
IT CHANGES THE WAY THEY SEE PEOPLE.
IT CHANGES THE WAY THEY SEE THEMSELVES.
IT CAN CHANGE THE WAY THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO SEE GOD.
IT MESSES UP THEIR EMOTIONS.
THEY JUST BEGIN TO REACT TO THINGS AND MANY TIMES HAVE
NO SELF-CONTROL OVER HOW THEY BEHAVE.
THEY'RE ANGRY.
THEY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE DUE SOMETHING BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM IS NOT RIGHT, YET THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.
MANY OF THOSE PEOPLE SPEND THEIR LIFE IN BITTERNESS
AND RESENTMENT USING ALL KINDS OF WORLDLY THINGS TO TRY
TO DROWN THEIR PAIN, WHETHER IT'S SUCCESS,
OR BUYING THINGS, OR RELATIONSHIPS,
OR SOME KIND OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE.
YOU CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH PAIN AND THEN YOU HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING TO GET RID OF IT.
BUT GOD OFFERS US A PLAN WHERE WE DON'T JUST COVER IT UP
AND NEED ANOTHER FIX EVERY DAY BUT WHERE WE CAN ACTUALLY
BECOME A BRAND-NEW CREATURE.
I LOVE 2 CORINTHIANS 5:17, MY GOSH, WHAT A WONDERFUL
SCRIPTURE.
"IF ANY MAN BE IN CHRIST, HE IS A NEW CREATURE.
OLD THINGS PASS AWAY AND ALL THINGS BECOME BRAND NEW."
NOW, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THAT JUST LIKE HAPPENS
BUT WHAT IT MEANS IS WHEN YOU RECEIVE CHRIST, YOU HAVE
A BRAND-NEW OPPORTUNITY.
YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE HOPELESS AGAIN BECAUSE GOD PROMISES
THAT HE CAN RESTORE, RENEW, LIFT, HEAL.
AND THERE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL PROMISE IN THE WORD OF GOD
THAT I'M GONNA SHOW YA IN JUST A LITTLE BIT THAT IT
SHOULD LEAVE US SO EXCITED.
ANYONE WHO'S BEEN ABUSED CAN FULLY RECOVER, FULLY RECOVER.
NOW, THERE ARE THINGS THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE THAT SURE
I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE HAD.
I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A GREAT DAD.
I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON MY DAD'S
LAP, PUT MY ARMS AROUND HIS NECK AND JUST GET A HUG WITHOUT FEAR
THAT IT'S GONNA TURN INTO SOMETHIN' ELSE.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BE HURTING, AND ASK MY DAD
TO GO HAVE COFFEE WITH ME, AND SIT DOWN AND JUST TELL HIM
WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH, AND HAVE HIM REALLY CARE.
I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT.
I'LL NEVER REALLY HAVE A MOTHER THAT REALLY CAN BE WHAT
A PERSON NEEDS AS A MOTHER.
MY MOM, SHE'S A SWEET LADY, BUT SHE WAS ALSO SO MESSED UP
FROM THE ABUSE IN OUR HOME AND DIDN'T JUST HAVE
THE RIGHT PERSONALITY OR THE COURAGE TO KNOW
HOW TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
AND SO, SO IT'S JUST NOT THE KIND OF SITUATION IF I'M HURTING
I'VE GOT A--I'VE GOT A MOM AND A DAD THAT I CAN GO TO AND SAY,
"GEE MOM, I'D LIKE TO COME HOME FOR DINNER AND TALK ABOUT WHAT'S
GOING ON IN MY LIFE."
I CAN'T DO THAT.
BUT I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: BECAUSE I HAVE A WALK WITH GOD AND A RELATIONSHIP WITH
GOD THAT IS THE ABSOLUTE MOST WONDERFUL AND PRECIOUS THING
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
AND THE BIBLE SAYS IN PSALM 27:10,
"EVEN IF YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER FORSAKE YOU, I WILL TAKE YOU UP
AND ADOPT YOU AND I WILL MAKE YOU MY OWN CHILD."
AMEN?
IN ISAIAH 61, VERSE 7, THERE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL PROMISE
OF GOD.
AND IT BASICALLY SAYS THAT, "FOR YOUR FORMER SHAME,
GOD WILL GIVE YOU A TWOFOLD RECOMPENSE."
AND RECOMPENSE IS ANOTHER WORD FOR REWARD OR PAYBACK.
"INSTEAD OF DISHONOR AND REPROACH, YOUR PEOPLE SHALL
REJOICE IN THEIR PORTION AND THEREFORE IN THEIR LAND,"
NOT WHEN THEY DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN.
COME ON, NOW.
IN THEIR LAND, THEY SHALL POSSESS DOUBLE
WHAT THEY HAD TO GIVE UP.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
JOYCE: AND EVERLASTING JOY SHALL BE THEIRS.
AND YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT SCRIPTURE AND THAT'S ONE OF THE
THINGS YOU NEED TO KEEP PRAYIN' AND SAYIN' UNTIL YOU SEE IT
COME TO PASS IN YOUR LIFE.
I DIDN'T GET FROM WHERE I WAS TO WHERE I AM OVERNIGHT.
AND IT WASN'T WITHOUT EFFORT, AND A LOT OF PAIN, AND A MILLION
TIMES OF WANTIN' TO GIVE UP.
BUT THERE'S SCRIPTURES IN THE WORD OF GOD, PROMISES IN THE
WORD OF GOD THAT YOU CAN HOLD ON TO DURING THOSE MIDNIGHT HOURS,
AND THOSE DARK TIMES, AND THOSE LONELY TIMES THAT LITERALLY HAVE
THE POWER TO PULL YOU THROUGH.
AND I KEPT SAYIN' TO GOD, "YOU HAVE PROMISED ME
A DOUBLE REWARD.
YOU HAVE PROMISED IF WE WILL FOLLOW YOU AND DO THINGS YOUR
WAY, THAT WE WILL HAVE A DOUBLE REWARD IN OUR LIFE.
AND I AM LOOKING FOR DOUBLE REWARD."
AMEN?
AND I THINK IT'S PLEASING TO GOD WHEN WE SAY,
"AND I WILL NOT DO WITHOUT IT.
I WILL NOT BE DENIED."
YOU SAY, "WELL, ISN'T THAT A LITTLE HAUGHTY?"
NO, IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS THAT THE PROMISES
OF GOD ARE FOR WHOSOEVER AND I FIT INTO THAT CATEGORY,
AND SO DO YOU.
GINGER: IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THAT JUST AS JOYCE
HAS FOUND IT, YOU TOO CAN FIND THE FREEDOM IN CHRIST THAT SHE
IS EXPERIENCING TODAY.
AND SHE WANTS TO HELP YOU ALONG THE WAY OF THAT JOURNEY.
THIS IS WHAT SHE'S OFFERING TODAY AND THIS, I BELIEVE,
IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL THINGS THAT WE'VE OFFERED.
IT'S SOME OF HER BEST WORK JUST BECAUSE IT COMES OUT
OF HER LIFE.
THIS IS OUR "BEAUTY FOR ASHES" ACTION PLAN.
GOD SAYS THAT HE WILL GIVE YOU BEAUTY FOR YOUR ASHES.
AND THIS IS THE WAY THAT YOU CAN REALLY THROW YOURSELF
INTO GOD'S WORD AND START PUTTING ALL OF THAT
INTO ACTION INTO YOUR LIFE.
THIS IS GREAT FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL STUDY.
IT'S GREAT TO DO WITH YOUR FAMILY, WITH A SMALL GROUP.
THIS HAS THE CDS OF JOYCE'S TEACHING,
THE DVDS OF JOYCE'S TEACHING ON "BEAUTY FOR ASHES,"
A PERSONAL STUDY GUIDE, AND A LITTLE JOURNAL
THAT CAN HELP YOU.
AND ALSO WITH THIS, WE ARE OFFERING YOU JOYCE'S BOOK,
"BEAUTY FOR ASHES."
THIS BOOK HAS BEEN AROUND A LONG TIME BECAUSE
IT'S HELPING SO MANY PEOPLE.
PICK THIS UP TODAY AND MAKE TODAY BE THE FIRST DAY IN YOUR
WALK OF HEALING FROM THE PAIN THAT YOU HAVE OF YOUR PAST
AND INTO THE BEAUTY THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE.
CALL RIGHT NOW.
NEXT WEEK ON "EVERYDAY ANSWERS," WE'LL HOPE YOU'RE WITH US.
JOYCE: I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW HOW GOOD GOD IS AND THAT
YOUR STRUGGLE IS WORTH IT.
YOUR JOURNEY IS WORTH IT.
DON'T GIVE UP.
GINGER: IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION, MAKE SURE YOU ASK IT.
DON'T WAIT.
JUST DO IT RIGHT NOW.
GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA, GO TO TWITTER.
MAYBE YOU'RE ON FACEBOOK.
ANY OF THOSE PLACES WILL WORK.
USE #ASKJOYCE.
AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU ASK THOSE QUESTIONS SO THAT WE CAN ALL
FIND THOSE ANSWERS TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, THE EMOTIONAL HEALING PROCESS IS NOT EASY.
THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE OPTIONS,
IT IS SO WORTH IT.
DON'T STAY STUCK IN THAT PAIN THAT YOU'RE IN RIGHT NOW.
GOD'S SPIRIT AND HIS WORD ARE THERE TO HELP YOU ALONG THE WAY.
WE LOVE YOU.
WE'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME.
[MUSIC]
CC BY ABERDEEN CAPTIONING 1-800-688-6621 WWW.ABERCAP.COM
ANNOUNCER: THE PRECEDING PROGRAM WAS PAID FOR
BY THE FRIENDS AND PARTNERS OF JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES.
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