I have a place here. I love it here.
This is my second home.
I keep trying to figure out where I wanna live, and I keep coming back here,
because I can't quite find anywhere I want to be more.
There are problems with any place you live in...
I sat with six wonderful women before this event.
Just trying to get a read on their take on this place.
Wherever I go, I always wanna tailor what I do to the place that I'm in.
I don't wanna just give an off-script piece.
I wanna figure out what are you going through here in L.A.
I've had some experience dating in L.A.,
but I wanna get the woman's experience.
Where are we interacting with these people?
I mean, where are you guys finding,
if anywhere right now,
and I totally accept that it may be nowhere.
I've had times in my life in L.A. where I thought, god...
I'm not meeting anyone,
but where do you...
Where would you bump into people, or do you in your life?
Nowhere?
The grocery store?
Yeah.
That you're not interacting with people.
Right.
Get into your box,
and you drive wherever you're going.
You get out of your box, and you go into your...
your building.
It really...
I think that element might just be the hardest.
For a long time in L.A.
I didn't meet women, because I didn't have friends,
because when I on a Friday, or a Saturday
actually wanted to go and do something,
and be in a social environment where I might meet people.
I didn't have anyone to go with.
Sometimes I think
the hard part about being an adult
is we feel like we're supposed to have
friends
already. [Laughter]
Right? We feel like we're supposed to have
those great people in our lives already,
and the idea of like starting again, and going out and building that...
We almost pity ourselves a little bit.
We feel a bit sad, like, god, I have to go and...
Like... Forget like...
It's one thing saying, I really want someone to share my life with.
It's another thing being like, I want some friends.
Yes...
[Laughter]
That's tough for most people, but
actually the...
The thing that I feel becomes before meeting the love of our life in a place like L.A.
is having that group,
because when we have that group,
going out, meeting people...
It...
All of that actually becomes a lot easier.
I recommend having a fortnightly happy hour,
where every fourteen days
you do an after work drinks just for you and whoever you know.
Your friends,
colleagues,
whoever...
If two people show up, fine.
It doesn't matter,
but from five to seven...
"Oh, we're just getting a few people together from five to seven. You should come join."
That's it.
You could do the same with men, by the way.
You meet someone. You think they're cute.
What's less risky than being like,
"Oh, I'm getting together with some friends tomorrow night. Feel free to come along."
The happy hour thing gives you things to bring people to.
People say, I live in L.A., so
I have all of these problems in terms of
people are always looking for the bigger-better deal.
They're always looking for the better thing.
They have so many beautiful people to choose from.
Usually the answer to everything in life is the same.
The answer to everything in life is either
change your mind-set about it,
or be better.
Those two are usually the answers to everything.
"There's so many good looking people around me."
Be better!
Maybe, stop competing on looks.
Stop competing on looks, and start competing on something else.
Make the best of what you have, and then compete on something real.
Something that actually does hold people, because we all know that looks don't.
I think
what all of this is amounting to is that there is
something to be said about being
much more... Doubly proactive in L.A.
about creating community where there is none.
People don't say this enough about L.A....
Yes, L.A. is a town full of struggling people,
but guess what?
It's a town of talented people.
L.A. is a town of people who come from all over the world,
because they were the best in their town at something,
and said, "I wanna be in a pool of people"
"where I'm not the best anymore."
"I wanna be in a pool of people where what was good in my little town"
"is nothing to these people."
What an amazing peer group that is to be around, by the way.
So I think we have to start by appreciating where we are.
Ladies, this is a wonderful time to date
no matter what anyone tells you.
Stop reading the articles that tell you,
that it's doomsday in the dating world.
Alright? This is a wonderful time to date.
It's a wonderful time to be alive,
and this is a wonderful place to live.
When we start there,
now we can actually start making some progress.
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