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Hello everyone! What a beautiful day. It's gorgeous,
the sun is shining, is blue, blue, blue outside in Southern California. Yeah, it's
just a great day. But I wanted to talk about something that I'm confused about,
maybe you can help me. I'd like to talk about femininity.
Because I don't know what it is. I really don't. There was an article posted a few
weeks ago about the science community but specifically the females in science
community and specifically on Instagram. I'll put that article in
the description below and there's been a lot of like backlash on it especially from
females in the field because the article talked about these women who are posting
their pictures on Instagram and they're taking selfies and they're posting their
cute outfits and brandishing a smile. And it kind of was upset with those, with
those women and.... I like, I understood the article. I understood where this person
was coming from because they were talking about how there's this like
narrow group of femininity showcase for females in STEM and I like, I get that.
But my question was like, maybe they weren't looking, you know, in a lot of
other places. but I don't even know like what femininity is, like I'm
still trying to figure that out for myself.
Because for a very long time I was like "oh I'm not a real girl because like I
don't do makeup and I don't do my hair. I don't really like doing that stuff.
and like I don't really have a great fashion sense." I kind of you know put
things together the way that I like them. My fashion sense has gotten a lot better
but it's actually gotten a lot better with the help of my boyfriend because he
has a very good eye for that stuff and he knows what looks good on me and he he
wants me to look good and he doesn't want me to be a frumpy mess. Which is, you
know, kind of how I prefer to dress but I don't also like feel the best when I
when I dress that way. Like it may be comfortable for me but it also may, you
know, it's not necessarily the most flattering. I want to look good, I
think I'm pretty and I'm not afraid to show it. My mom when I'm filming she's
like "you need to wear more makeup, you need to put lipstick on." So I have
lipstick on today and I have mascara on. And though, when I film I usually try to
put those things on just because I know that if you want to see me on camera
that those things need, need to be done. It's just it's just another tool to make
sure that you actually show up on camera. But then she looked at me and she's like
"Are you wearing lipstick? Are you wearing mascara?" And I was like yeah. So obviously,
I did it wrong because I don't know what I'm doing. and I'm and I'm learning and
I'm trying to figure that out. And I I'm trying to dress better. I like dresses
now, so I wear dresses. But I hated them for a very long time and I only wore
shorts and like Razorback T-shirts and then for a while. I hated shorts so I
only wore pants. And I dressed more masculine for a while. And the reason I
did that is because I wanted to be swimming in those clothes because I
didn't feel... because I wanted to be invisible for a long time. And that was
when I was suffering from depression and the more that I've come out of that the
more that I've experimented with the way that I dress. Like how I feel
comfortable, because I didn't know how I felt comfortable any
more. So it was deciding for myself, do I want to wear gym shorts and a baggy tee
to school? Do I literally want to shop in the men's clothing department anymore?
And for me I found the answer became "no." Those, for me, I would rather wear as like
pajamas or like when I'm at home but that doesn't mean that if you do wear
them that you aren't still a girl or that you are you can't still identify as
a girl, that you can't still, you know, be feminine. Just because I have no interest in
doing my hair, or and really putting on makeup because when I say makeup I'm
literally referring to mascara and maybe eye shadow because that's what I'm
comfortable in. Doesn't mean that I don't also appreciate those girls who put on a
full face of makeup and I'm like "hey good for you, like you know, I wish I
could do that stuff, like that's awesome. When I see girls eyebrows like amazing
and like just defined lips... like I have no lips. very tiny, but I still love them. And
I still appreciate those girls who know how to do that and who are excited about
you know, sharing their story and you know, doing makeup when I was wearing you
know, pants and or you know, baggy shorts. It wasn't like I didn't you know, like
when girls wore dresses. Now that I wear dresses it's not that I'm like
putting girls down for not wearing them like... So I guess I have a problem with
like what femininity is, is because I don't really think that it's a real... that
it just, but it's one thing. It's a real thing. I don't think that there's one
thing. I think that you can be on a spectrum of femininity and I think we
all have feminine and masculine energies within us.
And I think that that's beautiful and I think that we should embrace them. We all
have testosterone in us, we all have estrogen in us, in male and female and I
don't, I don't think that it's, you know, all about being like "oh I'm a girly girl
or I'm a tomboy or I'm I'm alpha male or I'm FEM ," or you
know whatever the lingo is like my whole thing is I don't, I don't like labels.
Which is like so cliche and like sounds really weird and I don't like them
because I don't understand them because like I'm me, I'm just me. And so on some
days I'm gonna wear like my cardigan and like my nice pink t-shirt that I
recently got from Target, and other days I'm gonna wear my... what does it say... like
my makers shirt where my pants have stains on them because that's because I'm
making things that day, you know, I just I dress how I feel and I wear makeup, how I
feel and I look how I feel and my hair is done how I feel. That hair flip was on
purpose because I know I'd do it involuntary. I'm
sorry. I'm working on the whole touching my hair while being on camera. Yeah so
maybe if you understand a little bit more about femininity and masculinity
you can put in the comments below and explain that a little bit more to me. But
what I would also like to suggest to you is like, who cares what you are?
Only you
should care what you are, how you dress, how you look and you should be the one
who dictates that. And that is beautiful, I you know, I was talking earlier about I
think how my boyfriend understands what looks good on my body
and I love him and he's always right so I listen. My mom, I listen
to her, because I know she's right. I know that I'm not showing up on camera as
well as I as I could be .She was like "you're a beautiful woman. I just want
people to see that," and I love her for that. That's amazing because she's like "I
want you to be successful and I want you to to put your best self forward." And if
that's putting on a little mascara or putting on a little bit of lipstick,
putting on a little blush. Whatever just so you can see my features, then that's
amazing. She's not wrong and she was also telling me you don't have to do that on
on your day to day, just you know, when you're on camera. And and I agree with
her. And so we're, we're gonna start doing that. Uh, just because it's just so you
can see me you know? I'm not changing myself because of it. And right now I'm
starting to get a little bit more into makeup. I think it's really interesting. I
kind of want to see that art form. I kind of want to delve into that but I've it's...
I'm not doing it because I feel like I'm less than a girl or I'm not doing it
because I want to change myself for my YouTube presence or for my podcast
presence. It's, it's a new stage in my life and I think that that's cool and
I'm gonna share that with you guys. I
don't think that it's changing me. I think that it's, I think that I'm just
playing around and experimenting because I'm a scientist and I experiment and I
take data points and then I make a decision because, as I said in the
"Follow Your Instincts" video I'm not very spontaneous. So yeah I just wanted to
share that with you, and kind of my thoughts and just get your thoughts on
it as well. So let's talk in the comments below. I'd love love to hear from you
guys. Yeah okay, have great day friends!
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