but to ask ourselves if there are, if there are ten boxes that's going to be placed in
front of your body when you die to showcase what you have contributed to
this world what would it be have you filled up the ten boxes
sufficiently and if you have then you can say you know what I may be 35 years
old but I fill it up I am good if I die next next year or next day no
problem will we be able to do that and if you are not able to you have to ask
yourself okay that ten boxes what have you put in so far and this is about the
contribution you have done to this world not just about satisfying yourself but
what have you done for anybody and I'm not here to make you feel miserable oh I
didn't do anything no I'm here to tell you many of us fail
to see our contribution to others and that's why we are not able to face them
because in fact in many in our own ways abide imperfect ways we have
contributed to other people we have contributed to their well-being first
and foremost I want all of you who are parents to raise your hands all parents
please raise your hands let me assure you by by by that I mean that you
have kids ah ok let me assure you in that 10 boxes you can easily fill at 4
to 5 boxes ready for every child that you have you can fill up at least one or
two or one and a half depending on how much the child require you to give
attention now I'm not just trying to say things to make you feel good I'm not
such a person you can ask around I'm not exactly known for saying things that
make me feel good I'm known for making people feel
uncomfortable with what I say so rest assure if you feel good it's not
because I'm trying to make you feel good I'm telling you
many people feel then I didn't do much I just go and work I didn't really spend
time with them I didn't care for them I didn't bring them to Disneyland and so
on yeah it'd be nice if you if a father and mother can bring their kids to
Disneyland but so what if you didn't you know Chinese say 养育之恩
养 and 育 never say 玩 never say 玩 没有say 养育玩之恩 养育
养 you know giving the material ya care, and then 育 educating your child and
educating your child is not simply about sending your child to school and
then making sure that your child has tuition and that's part a small part
of it but it's about educating your child in the ways of life and I've been
telling my parents my mom my dad you should be proud of yourself if not about
me but of all your children not simply because your children went to university
or whatever not because they have big house or car whatever no but because you
have taught them values you have taught them values my mum always tell me I 最
没用 I'm the most useless and since young I've been telling her why do
you say that is as though we are horrible people now and in case if your
children grew up to be horrible people I may be laughing but I'm not
laughing at you it's a it's a sad thing because I've
sent out with many parents and if they are around my age
some are older than me and they sit down maybe 5 minutes they talk half way they cry you
know tears they have all but given up you know
they're like I don't know what else to do Shifu just tell me tell me what I need
to do they're so lost because they have tried and tried and tried and the
children just some are just in the primary school some in secondary school
some in their 20s and some are ... they are successful and failure in their
own right your know and the thing is that the parents feel
so much such a great sense of of burden and responsibility for their seeming
failure and this one I want to tell all parents something I've been hyping over
and over again 因上努力果上随缘 that our children is the
product of many many factors of which we are a crucial part when they were
young so when they are young if you see small little rascals you can look at the
parents and say aye you never teach ah you can say that but when the child has
grown up is really the child aye you never learn ah because when the child is young
really requires input from from the parents but even then it's not that the
child is totally absolve of all responsibilities neither are the parents
parents are involved in the process and this is what I asked parents to do I
sometimes ask them to take these cards you know this reflection cards and I
asked to do this
I asked them to play the tower of cards the house of cards and formed a
pyramid and it's not as easy as it seemed especially when just doing it in
front of a whole hall of people and you know you get idea if you can extend the
time by 1 hour we can perhaps do it if you think this is difficult I asked them
to stack three layers and when they .. some of them give up like and I
said no no try again try again I'm surprised so many of them actually
humor me but I'm glad they did because when they go through that they did and
then I tell them the message then it makes a lot of sense and I tell them
what if now I ask you to do it with your husband and they look at me like you
know after 15 minutes half an hour of trying and failing and collapsing many
times they finally form three layers some of them stopped at two is like Shifu
that's all like I'm not even breathing like and then when I tell them
now do it with your husband each of you can only hold one card at a time
and they look at me like you know what you play lah and that's how life is
about you know your child comprises many of these cards and each of these cards are
input from father mother from themselves from the nursery teacher from the
primary school teachers and eventually from their friends that they allow
to put inside and as they grow up
more and more of the cards are no longer put in by parents more and more the cards
are actually put in by themselves so why should parents feel so burdened with how
the children end up if you have put in the right cards to begin with
what this means is that parents are not totally absolved of responsibility but
not totally to be blamed or burdened for the outcome as well but this is just one
part of life an important part no less and if you can
apply the same principle perhaps it can help you to look at very various parts
of your life I mean we are running short of time with seven minutes left life is
too large to waste thinking fearing death it's up to each and every one of us to
look at our life and ask ourselves what have we done and my point about this
parent-child thing is if you have done your part know that are the 10 boxes
that you would have to show when you pass away eventually you have at least
filled up quite a few boxes already good job you know good job don't feel
bad yourself but wait some of you who are single and you know they're like
aye Shifu what about us likewise don't think little of good of the little
good that you have done all the times where you went into the lift and you
held the door how many of you have never done that before never like you go
into the lift and you see someone running over and you just
anybody no right all of us would quite naturally like hold
the lift when you walk past one of the doors in a shopping mall you will
hold the door for someone behind isn't it yeah and sometimes people will just
walk past and not take over from you and they would not even say thank you and it
makes you feel like wah lao what is this and I become jaga and it's not just one
person because the whole family decided to just all rush in and then
like even maybe push you to the side and makes you feel horrible but yet the next
day you still do this let me tell you this makes you a good person a wonderful
person you should be proud of that don't think little of these small little things
because how many of us discovered a cure for cancer
how many of us have a chance to say ya Shifu I'm not so bad I saved three
persons' lives last year this year I almost save one person but it's only
April so who's counting how many of us can say that not many yeah unless you're
in the medical field yeah but at the same time those in the medical field I
know a lot of doctors and nurses who feel miserable because for every one
person they save there's always that ten other persons they
didn't save and the they are like oh and I'm telling you you cannot spend your
life worrying about the the one person you didn't save because if you each hour
each minute each second you worry about that you fret over that you're gonna end
up losing more so facing death is perhaps not so much about thinking about
what will happen after that but asking yourself what do you want to have
happened before that how do you want to people do you want how do you want
people to to come up to your coffin and look upon you and think and say
because being unenlightened we will definitely do some stupid things here and
there I've done my share of stupid things and my share
of not so stupid things and some will say quite good things and I know that even while
I'm alive not everybody is happy with me the important thing is can you sleep with it
are you able to have your conscience clear and in the same way is
the same when you're gonna approach death will you approach death peacefully
but peace is not something outside peace is if you can live with what you
have done or not done don't live your life thinking about that one thing you
didn't do or the one thing that you did yes there are things that we have done
things that we have done you can undo it like seriously if it's something that
you shouldn't have done and you did it don't do it again that's it end of story
that is repentance in Buddhism but many times for many people the regret is over
things that they didn't do and unfortunately some things that you
didn't do you didn't do it you cannot go and do it again so the next time if you
encounter something that's worthwhile doing that you should be doing don't
don't hesitate don't wait for one more moment and in some ways you got to ask
yourself
is this how you live a life because how you live your life is going to probably
not probably it's going to determine our life will come to an end and how we're
going to move on to the next life
For more infomation >> Sossegai quarteto - Duration: 3:43. 
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