♪ Caldwell and Nathan are two cartoonists ♪
♪ They love to draw, but they're not too smart ♪
♪ So they sold their souls to the TV Devil ♪
♪ For a cartoon show, that featured their art ♪
♪ They all shook hands and drank a toast ♪
♪ Neither could believe their new-found luck ♪
♪ But then on the way to the studio ♪
♪ They were both laid out by a hot dog truck ♪
♪ Now in a somewhat ironic twist ♪
♪ They're in Hell forever and hey, get this ♪
♪ They've gotta make a show, that they think is gonna sell ♪
♪ If they ever wanna get out of Cartoon Hell ♪
- Hey Caldwell, are you hearing the song,
that keeps playing on repeat in my mind?
- Yeah, everyone's hearing that,
your brain is one of the top channels
on the Satan's Satellite Network down here.
- It just sounds like styrofoam being rubbed together.
- Ooh, yeah. - and then just a real,
real fresh dance beat underneath.
- All rise, be alarmed,
be ready for the great cartooning
that is about to befall ye.
- Ah. - Hey, Mandagar.
- Hey, Mandagar. - How's it going?
- Not too good,
my bosses have kind of caught wind of the fact
that you've just constantly been producing failures.
- Oh. - That's what we do.
- This next one, no more half-assing, no more lollygagging
and God forbid, if we even dillydally for a second,
it's gonna be our testicles on the hammer stone.
- Oh! - Oh, man!
- Oh no. - Yeah.
- Hey, that's my least favorite stone.
- This week's topic is from a really great demon,
he just goes by A Taco and he says,
draw a cyborg music band, you know,
with instruments as body parts.
- Oh, that's fun. - Yeah, I like that.
- Yeah, we won't do any lollygagging on that.
- No, no, no, I wanna get right to work.
- There is a catch, because the pressure is on,
they've brought in some extra oversights for this project.
- Hm. - Oh.
- You're about to deal with the best of the best,
she's my personal supervisor,
alright, let me get her on this Hell Call,
Aggmin, is that you?
- Yes. - Are you seeing?
- Yes, I see, I see,
hi Mandagar, hi, how are you?
- I'm averting my eyes. - Good, happy to hear that.
Hi little boys, how are you?
Nathan, Caldwell.
- Hi, Aggmin. - Hi, Aggmin.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you,
oh, you have a nice little office set up.
- Yeah, it's very warm, - Hm-mm.
- it's very warm in here. - Yeah.
- But we don't sweat, I wish I could,
but it just stays inside
and kind of like rolls around in my stomach.
- Yes, it's kind of, you know, what you deserve,
so that's good, that's good. - Hm-mm.
- Just don't mind me today, I'm just here to observe,
I'm a little fly humanoid on the wall, you know.
- [Caldwell] Hm, sure.
- So you do everything as normal.
- Okay, great.
Well, I'm gonna go ahead and get us started here, Nathan,
I feel like I've got a great idea.
- Yeah, we'd better get into it.
- [Caldwell] My thought is I wanna take
like a real literal approach here.
- [Nathan] Cyborg music band,
where their appendages are instruments.
- [Caldwell] Yes, I'll just go ahead
and draw like an actual cyborg.
- Sure. - Just like real,
true to the definition, kind of humanoid, 'cause you know,
there's a difference between an android and a cyborg,
I believe. - Right, right,
the cyborg has some biological components,
- Hm-mm. - Which I think you need
to get the real emotional resonance of music.
- Exactly, I don't want music created by an algorithm.
- Hey, boys? - Yes?
- I hate to interrupt, - Okay.
- I'm noticing the way you're drawing this cyborg,
- [Caldwell] Yeah?
- [Aggmin] Does he need to be so sort of gaunt looking?
I wonder if we could beef him up?
- [Caldwell] Beef him up, like you want him thicker,
or more muscular, or what are you thinking?
- [Aggmin] I'm thinking thick, I'm thinking wide,
I'm thinking huge, - Wide?
- [Aggmin] I think that's sort of what sells nowadays,
you know what I mean?
Does that-- - Yeah, yeah,
just stretch him out? - Hm-mm.
- [Caldwell] I'll just stretch him out a bit,
- Yeah, there we go - from there,
how's that feeling?
- Yeah, I'm wondering just for giggles,
does he go wider, does it go wider?
(laughing)
- We could try, I don't, I mean, the canvas,
I'm gonna run out of canvas at a certain point.
- [Nathan] I like the idea of a leading musician,
who is as wide as the stage they performance on.
- Oh, that's true. - Yeah.
- Maybe he's the stage himself, I mean like,
(laughing)
he's got a presence, to be sure.
- That's, yeah. - I mean,
this kind of works in with what I was actually planning,
so honestly, Aggmin, you've only helped me.
- [Aggmin] Hm-mm.
- [Caldwell] I'm just gonna keep him as wide as possible,
but what I am thinking I wanna do here
is just give him a keyboard
kind of like popping out right here.
- Oh, keyboard belly. - Yeah, keyboard belly.
I mean, this is like a korg, it's like a cykorg,
I guess is how you would describe him.
- [Aggmin] Interesting.
- [Caldwell] So he's like half cyborg, half korg.
- [Aggmin] Now, I'm noticing the way
you're sort of drawing that keyboard,
it seems rather thin.
(laughing) - Okay.
- Now is there any way that we could perhaps
get it a little wider?
- Wider? - Yeah.
- [Caldwell] Okay.
That seems to be kind of the flavor of the day, huh?
- Literally I'm just thinking about our demo, you know,
young women in Hell wanting to watch something,
they're gonna want a little treat, you know what I mean?
Sex sells. (laughing)
- They're gonna want a snack for sure.
- [Nathan] It's so wide, it goes all the way around, yes.
- [Aggmin] Oh, now that's interesting.
- [Caldwell] Like a full kind of like circular bar,
kind of like a floating island of keys.
- [Aggmin] Yeah, yeah.
- [Nathan] Yeah, that way, he's got keys everywhere,
he never runs out of space. - Exactly.
- [Nathan] Tickle the ivories.
(laughing)
- Does he have like a fun catchphrase we can give him?
Something that people can really latch on to?
I just wanna make sure we're marketing this
the way that we should be, you know.
- [Caldwell] I'm open to anything.
Nathan, you wanna help me brainstorm
maybe some catchphrases for this fun fellow?
- That's the key's knees. - Interesting.
(laughing) - No.
- Maybe like I'm tickled by that,
- [Nathan] I'm tickled by that is pretty good.
- Hm-mm. - I do wanna just
kind of shove as many keys in here as I can.
- Oh yeah. - Hm-mm.
- [Caldwell] So I'm gonna go ahead
and I'm just gonna put some,
do like a little mouth thing right there,
he's got kind of like an islander vibe a little bit.
- Yeah. - Like this feels like
a grass skirt almost to me.
- Oh! - Oh.
Hm-mm. - Hm-mm, that's good.
Now Caldwell, I hate to interrupt,
- Okay. - I'm sure noticing
these legs, they're kind of little chicken legs.
Is there any way, that we could go wider?
(laughing)
- I mean, I'll see what I can do, Aggmin,
we're really stretching the boundaries of reality,
what's possible with art,
but you want some tree trunks, I'll give you tree trunks,
Ma'am, I live to serve.
So maybe just like, how about like that?
- Oh, baby, wow! - Like he's just got
some big JNCOs on, if somebody were wearing some big JNCOs,
but then they took off their JNCOs
and it was just all flesh under there,
- Oh, yeah. - It's like a hideous
tree trunk of flesh, kind of like that?
- Yeah, that's speaking to me,
I want this to sort of be like our Magic Mike, you know.
- [Caldwell] I'm feeling very aroused
looking at those legs. (laughs)
- [Nathan] This is just like, like Baymax's shitty brother.
- [Caldwell] Baymax's sexy brother, you mean.
(laughing)
- [Aggmin] Is there any way we can
slap a little Yamaha on that keyboard,
maybe double this as some sort of branding exercise?
- [Caldwell] Yeah, maybe it's just like right here?
- [Aggmin] Yeah.
- [Caldwell] Since he is such a fucking snack,
I'm gonna make it say Yummyha.
- Oh, terrific. - Just like right there,
just slap that on. - Yeah.
- Is that his name?
Can that be his name?
- I think Yummyha is definitely
this big, tubby piano boy's name for sure.
- [Aggmin] Yeah.
- [Caldwell] I just have one last thing I need to do,
which is give him, - Oh wow!
- just these little like, - Yeah.
- just a little flourish, - Wow!
- [Caldwell] just a little flair,
Yummyha's ready for the stage floor.
Nathan, would you please draw your cyborg band member?
- Yes, oh my God, I'm so excited.
Is the entire band wide, or is this sort of the gimmick,
is Yummyha the wide member? - Hm.
- [Aggmin] I think Yummyha is our sex,
our sex man for the band. - Sure.
(laughing)
- [Nathan] So we need like the more sensitive band member
now, I think. - Yeah.
- [Caldwell] Okay.
- [Nathan] Yeah, maybe he's sort of the long to,
(laughing)
- Oh, perfect. - to Yummyha's wide?
- [Caldwell] What instrument is this though?
'cause currently you've just drawn like a snake man,
you've just drawn like Inspector Gadget's emo cousin.
- Well, okay, well, you know,
maybe he's just got like some flutes coming out.
(laughing)
- [Aggmin] Oh, a flutist.
- [Nathan] Ah-huh, this is Flutus Brutus,
Flutus Brutus, - Flutist extraordinaire.
- [Nathan] I think he does just have
one sort of attached to his face as well.
- [Caldwell] He's like a robotic millipede made of flutes.
- Yeah. - I like that a lot.
Does he slither or does he use the--
- [Nathan] Oh, he can never touch the ground.
- [Caldwell] (laughs) That would sully his flutes.
- Yeah. - Which he does
have to put in his mouth.
- [Nathan] I am gonna give him just sort of like a cool hat.
- [Caldwell] Yeah, he's the sensitive boy,
but he's also very fashion forward.
- Or maybe just like a tie? - Oh, I like that.
- And Nathan, I hate to interrupt,
is there any way via the tie, via the hat,
we can indicate that he is single?
We need people to be like clamoring for his attention,
if someone found out he had a boyfriend or a girlfriend,
I feel like no one would go to see this band,
he's the sensitive one. - Oh, sure.
- [Caldwell] Could we take a page
from the Jonas Brothers' playbook
and give him like a big promise ring,
just indicating that he's saving himself.
- Yes. - I don't know
what a promise ring looks like,
so I'm just gonna put a big, sort of gemstony ring,
- Great. - around the tie.
- Ah-huh. - Another one on the hat.
- Great. - Oh, I like that, yeah.
- [Caldwell] I mean, maybe he's just holding a sign
in the coil of his tail, - Yeah.
- that just says like, I've never had sex.
- Beautiful.
- So this is Flutus and he's the sensitive one,
yeah, he's never had sex and he's not afraid,
he's not ashamed to let you know that,
because maybe you could be his first?
- [Nathan] So he's just got just sort of like a classic
Wile E Coyote style, - Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- [Nathan] just piece of poster board tacked on.
- [Caldwell] I don't think that he actually has
like a tongue or any means of creating glottal noises,
I think he's just got like a hole,
that he shoves a pipe into.
- [Nathan] Yeah, but oh man, what a melody.
- [Caldwell] For sure.
- [Nathan] Maybe he's got some
like cool streaks in his hair.
- [Aggmin] Oh, lovely, yes.
- [Caldwell] God, what a heartthrob.
This is gonna be the cover of Teen People magazine.
- I don't know what he is,
but he definitely is throbbing constantly.
(laughing)
- [Caldwell] And he's very phallic,
so I think that's gonna work in his favor.
We need like one more band member obviously
and we've got our front man, we've got our baby,
we need kind of like, you know, like a rhythm, a bass,
kind of like the rock, the foundation.
- Yeah, so I'm thinking maybe just like
just one of them tall drums.
- Ooh, not a bongo, but like a--
- A conga. - Ah!
Oh, he's a little spider, he's like a little.
- [Nathan] You know, I like the robot spider,
I wanted to get that in.
- [Caldwell] That's a classic, yeah,
I would say a classic robot archetype.
Are those his eyes down there?
'Cause I'm seeing two eyes down at the bottom
- Ahh! - and it's kind of cute.
- [Nathan] They weren't when I started drawing it,
'cause again, I figured eyes would go on the face,
but you know, who am I to say where the eyes go?
Yeah, maybe he's got some eyes down here
and then some arms to hold the drumsticks.
- Oh yeah, sure. - You don't use drumsticks
for the type of drum I drew, - No. (laughs)
- [Nathan] but this guy doesn't know that.
The drumsticks are not for playing the instrument,
they are just to clap together
to indicate the start of a new song.
- [Caldwell] I think that's great.
- [Nathan] What's this guy's name?
- He's a bongo, he's a conga drum,
Krongo. - 'Cause he's kind of wrong?
- He's kind of wrong, he's kind of a crime against humanity
and he's also a crab and a conga.
So we've got Krongo, we've got Yummyha
and we've got Flutus, - Hm-mm.
What's the name of their band?
- [Caldwell] Oh, how about Relative Peace at the Library?
(laughing)
Oh, eyebrows, perfect.
This is a very emotive crab drum.
- [Nathan] Yeah, what do you think his voice is?
- [Caldwell] Oh, I think he's very worried all the time.
I think he's got like a real snivelly voice,
- "Guys," - Yeah.
- "Guys, we've gotta play the next song."
(laughing)
- Nathan, I do realize we have forgotten
one crucial aspect of the band
and I would love to add it in if possible.
- Yeah, please.
- [Caldwell] The one thing that we've forgotten here, y'all
is a singer. - Oh yeah,
none of them really have mouths that would work,
- No. - Good.
- [Caldwell] Aggmin, I'm gonna kind of take a swing
and I understand if you're not gonna be into it, but--
- Okay.
- We've got this big, wide guy and he's fun,
but what if like there was someone even wider?
- I'm loving the direction this is going.
(laughing)
- Wait a minute. - So--
- [Nathan] Yummyha's whole thing is they're the wide one.
- So what I'm thinking here
is you remember those like animatronics,
that you would see at a pizza place, like a showbiz pizza
or like a Country Bear Jamboree type thing?
- Oh,
oh, God, you drew the edges, the bounding.
(laughing)
Oh, it's a Furby,
you've drawn a Furby.
- It'll still be adjacent for sure,
I think, like that's a point of inspiration, I would say.
- They did sing, didn't they? - Hm-mm
and I would say they were of Hell.
- Yeah. - I am gonna make these hands.
He gets up on stage and he's like, "Are you guys ready?"
- Yeah. (laughs) - "I can't hear you,"
and he like makes a pointer finger
and points it towards-- - Caldwell,
for product integration, can the nose be the microphone?
- [Caldwell] Absolutely, thank you so much.
Do you want it to become like a pointy one like that?
- [Aggmin] Yeah.
- [Nathan] So it's pointing away from the mouth.
(laughing)
This is a good band. - This is a great band.
Did we come up with a name for the band yet?
- [Nathan] I like Relative Peace at the Library.
- Okay. - I feel like it makes
about as much sense as everything else we've come up with.
Thinking about the actual show,
- Hm-mm. - so like a typical episode,
they're on tour and they get into some sort of mischief,
there's a lot of sort of band drama,
is this a drama or a comedy?
- [Caldwell] I think it's like, yeah,
it's definitely a situational comedy,
I feel like they're either solving mysteries
or causing them, I think it switches week to week.
- Oh, that's fun. - Yeah, like some weeks
they might be like murdering an old man
in an amusement park for his gold
and other weeks, they might be like, you know,
helping a kid find his long lost dad.
- [Nathan] But then every episode just sort of ends
with a fun, musical number, - Hm-mm.
- [Nathan] that sums up the adventures that they've had.
- [Caldwell] Exactly, one last,
I'm gonna give this guy some Elton John sunglasses,
some Elton John shades.
- Oh, thank you, so is the name of the show
Relative Peace at the Library?
- No, I think the name of the show is something like
Robo-Goofers or something like that.
- [Nathan] Maybe, you know,
maybe it would be the name of one of these,
'cause did we give this guy a name yet?
- What about D.Rock? - Okay.
- [Caldwell] What about D.Rock's Far Out Futuristic Band?
- [Nathan] D.Rock's Far Out Futuristic Band is a great name,
because people can just shorten it to D.Rocks,
just be like, "Oh, you catch the new episode of D.Rocks?"
- Oh yeah, that was a great one, they went to the moon
and suffocated an astronaut, it was wild,
I can't believe that this is a children's show.
- Oh, Lord, no, oh, God, we're not ready yet,
the Crimson Flame has a lit. - Oh, shit.
Oh. - Okay, we got this, guys.
Hands in the center, I can't reach you,
'cause I'm in a TV screen, but,
- Yeah. - I'm so nervous,
arise Cartoon-O-Tron, please judge this cartoon,
which we have presented for ye.
- I am ready to rock and roll.
I am here to audition for the band,
give me a song and I will sing it.
- Oh, Cartoon-O-Tron, you know your job
is to make cartoons and not sing.
- No, dammit Daddy, I want to be in the rock and roll band,
I learned how to play the dulcimer.
- Well, you know, that's just not what you're here for.
- I'll never forgive you.
The only thing that will make me feel better
is a big, tasty cartoon.
- Alright, well here you go, Cartoon-O-Tron, eat up.
- Num, num, num, mm, taste funkadelic.
Okay, here comes the cartoon.
(dynamic upbeat music)
- Well, beep my box,
it turns out the ghost of the amphitheater
was none other than Old Man McReary, the ticket salesman.
- I keep telling ya, I wasn't trying to scare anyone,
this is all just a misunderstanding.
- Well then how do you explain this bed sheet?
- Sometimes I sleep here overnight,
but just to make sure nobody steals anything.
Please let me go.
- A likely story, time to find out who you really are.
- What, what?
No, no, argh!
- Oh-oh, guys, first he was a g-g-g-ghost,
now he's a z-z-z-zombie.
(melancholic trombone music)
- You said it, Flutus, looks like another case solved
by Relative Peace at the Library.
- Great work, everyone,
but shouldn't we get back to the show?
(heavy metal music)
- Oh yeah!
(dynamic upbeat music)
- Okay, so that was D.Rock's Far Out Futuristic Band,
it's a crazy, kooky bunch of characters,
but I think it's got a lot of potential.
What did y'all think?
- (sighs) I'm super sorry to say this,
little boys, - Hm.
- but I'm gonna have to give this a huge thumbs down,
- Ooh! - simply because
maybe you can predict that not wide enough.
- Not wide enough, God,
it's just our feeble human minds can only go so wide.
- Mandagar, thank you so much
for filling these little boys with false hope
about even succeeding in the first place,
it was an impossible task and--
- Wait, what?
- Ah, honestly I knew it from the very beginning,
that I was going to reject it. (laughs)
- Hm, ah, just keep that in mind
at this year's performance review.
- You'll see.
- Did y'all know we're still on the call,
I don't know if you knew that.
- Yeah, we're still here.
- We don't care. - Oh.
- Oh, it's fine. - Oh.
- You mean nothing to us.
- Well. - well.
- Thank you. - Good to know where we stand.
- Yeah, nice to know. - You know,
I think we all learned something.
- What did we learn?
- That music can heal all wounds.
- I mean, I've got plenty of wounds, it's worth a shot.
- Yeah, let's try it.
- Okay, I'm gonna tune back in to the private radio channel,
where all of my friends and family berate me
and see if that helps with the boils in my nether regions.
- [Nathan] Y'all, this has been Cartoon Hell.
- [Caldwell] And you're here forever.
- Let me listen to that too. - Hm.
- [Nathan] Caldwell, you never call, you never call.
- It's really harsh. - Oh, so catchy.
- [Caldwell] Yeah.
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