YOUTUBE IS SHUTTING US DOWN!
Please give me money.
[intro]
…
(Kaz) "Why are we here?
Just to suffer!"
HeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEY gay demons, your dark overlord JAMMA here.
Guys, it's so fucking hot in here, it's SO HOT, have you seen the fucking thermometer?
Forget about the fact that I'm wearing my trademark black sweater indoors right here,
IT'S SO HOT.
It's so hot, I'm constantly sweating out my fat like a pig all the time!
I can't stand it!
HNNNNG!
That's the youtuber summer line quota over there, and… done.
So today I'm going to make an EDUTAINMENT educational video.
Lately the YouTube ego, despite not being something new since the case of GameLife,
is an epidemic that is overextending itself over YouTube far and wide faster than the
WannaCry virus lately.
And at this rate, it will probably infect you too.
So what I'm going to do is probably give some examples of guidelines to follow in order
to avoid this pandemic from infecting even more fellow youtuber folks.
So, listen class, today's lesson time, grab your notebooks and start writing.
Or don't.
I mean, it's up to you if you want to get Internet Ebola
or not.
[CIRCLEJERKING AND TOESUCKING]
Some say the most common way to boost an immense ego is by surrounding yourself with yesmen
that will agree with everything you ever say, even the stupidest shit you can ever say in
your life.
This practice is more commonly known as "circlejerking" and "toesucking", the latter invented
by Professor Dominic Vanner back in 2017.
Circlejerking involves what a lot of rational people call "in jokes", which you may
commonly know as the usual "My Name Jeff" memes or the sort.
But it doesn't limit itself to the comedy here.
Notably, a lot of youtubers, when fairly criticised, they'll just cry, hide behind their particular
army of white knights and then let those said white knights do the job for them.
Oh man, sure it saves me work from dealing with those haters!
I would just deal with you myself, but eh, sorry, I'm too busy dealing myself with
the lowest hanging fruit.
I'm not a coward at all!
…
I'm not!
Another common practice related to circlejerking is the so-called "toesucking".
Just surround yourself and make "friends" with other youtubers who just agree 100% on
everything you do and say because they're just doing the same toesucking than you.
In fact, they just don't call it "toesucking", they also call it "making friends" or
"networking".
Because these think of youtube as a business, and they know a business is all about the
green.
[YOUR SUBCOUNT DOESN'T MEAN JACKSHIT]
Speaking of what generates the most money, it's proper to say that the subcount is
really an arbitrary number that states how much influence and power you show off on the
platform!
While it isn't.
You see, at the end of the day, your subcount is just an arbitrary number.
If you take it that seriously, you're kinda of a faggot.
I mean, tell me about the countless fucking times I've been told my opinion isn't
valid because I have less subscribers than these guys have, and that I have botted my
subscribers like, years ago.
While the latter is actually true as I said many times and as I admitted numerous times
just to not to do it ever again, I think it still shows that this is a big sign that the
YouTube ego has just reached another phase upwards.
You may have not botted your subscribers, but oh boy you sure like to shove your subcount
down everyone's faces as an argument point!
Look, my man, your little arbitrary number next to the "subscribe" button doesn't
mean apeshit.
It could maybe mean that you're being successful on YouTube, I don't deny it, but it isn't
a valid counter argument to defend yourself with.
I know I have said this already in a more flawed way, but if it really means something,
that would mean that people like DarksydePhil, having over 100.000 subscribers, has a more
valid opinion and actions than me.
And look how that turns out.
[POSH VOICE DOESN'T MAKE YOU SMART, SMARTASS]
The easiest way to have such an ego is just to pretend you're a superior being with
just the verbal and nonverbal communication signs.
And this just goes unrelated to the subcount itself.
I mean people who will represent themselves as "really intellectual people" with a
cigar, or an elegant suit, or even a top hat on the top of their heads.
Maybe if you just show off your "intellectual" attire on your online persona, despite having
a video called "THE DEATH OF YOUTUBE IS NEAR", people would believe you're really
that smart,... at least those who are not as smart as you are.
(Mr. Dapperton) "YouTube is dead.
YouTube is DEAD.
So, what's the solution, you may ask?
Well, the solution is very simple: you need to start FUNDING-"
(MundaneMatt) "Turn off that pesky AdBlock!"
YOUTUBE IS CENSORING US!!
YOUTUBE IS SHUTTING US DOWN!!
Thus give me money.
Guys, if someone's gotta save YouTube, it's all about ME!
ME ME ME ME ME!
You see the kind of selfishness over there, a true intellectual is not the one who's
of rational thinking, but it is the one who's telling you to give him your money the most
subtle way possible.
Ka-ching!
[LOOK AT YOURSELF FOR ONCE, YOU DIMWIT]
You know, speaking of what makes money, back in 2016 there was a GOLDEN ERA of making fun
of reaction videos, prank channels, food reviews, actual rats…
But at the end of the day, sometimes we're not much different from those pieces of shit
we used to criticise last year.
You see, you can criticise the fact that people overextend their videos to gain maximum revenue
and exploit the algorithm, that's for sure.
But don't be such a petulant hypocritical piece of shit and accomplish what you claim
to be against.
(WildSpartanz) "Why would 10 minute videos get such a stigma to become worse than Satan
himself?
What would they do?"
Well, we would say that 10 minute videos got such a stigma because people like you usually
make unnecessary 10 minute videos every day.
WildSpartanz, I don't know if you are either hypocritical or just utterly retarded, but
you surely lack severely of such self-awareness it even hurts me so much to the point of being
self-aware of myself.
But hey, sure, you did expose 10 minute videos!
Does that mean you did also expose yourself too?
I mean, c'mon, gimme a break!
[HYPOCRISY FIESTA]
Unluckily, WildSpartanz doesn't seem to be the only hypocrite around, lots of people
like to contradict themselves in some way or another.
Let's take a prime example: when Britbong did get that video from Spooks which everyone
did defend so thoroughly, there was one clown who pointed out the horseshit from it on Twitter.
Then the well known Paki King himself was all like "dude I understand why you're
friends with Britbong and all that", only to slip this:
(Bunty King) "I actually wanted to give you a legitimate explanation, I don't wanna
restrict myself to 140 characters here…"
(Bunty) "Britbong is a fucking cunt, dude."
(Bunty) "Your friend Britbong, dude, is an absolute piece of shit, dude."
(Bunty) "But your friend Britbong is, without a doubt, a massive fucking LOSER CUNT."
You see that kind of freudian slip over there?
"I understand he's your friend, Colossal, but HE IS A LOSER CUNT!
HNNNG!"
He just literally stepped out of the bar from whatever social life he was doing just to
yell that at a camera for a Twitter video, that's quite the saddest thing he could
ever do.
[DON'T BE A DARKSYDEGOUT]
In regards to sad people, we all know DarksydePhil, in fact, I've already made a video on him
which still remains almost completely true at this date.
But the thing is, we're not much different from the pig roach that he is.
We all know the usual DSP clichés, he insults people who try to either help him or criticise
him, he keeps e-begging, produces shit content for money, and he sometimes shields himself
behind his own cockgobbling fans.
What I'm going to show you now is a side-to-side comparison between DSP and several youtubers
on the terms of some of these clichés, so you can see how much of idiotic bumbling farts
they are.
[Calling people idiots]
(DSP) "The people who do that are sick in the fucking head, and I stand by that statement
that the guy who made that video is SICK."
(GradeA) "Like, for example, THIS FUCKING DICKHEAD, who's telling me not to waste
my time making my #MakeYouTubeGreatAgain videos back in February, telling me that they wouldn't
get YouTube to listen or change anything."
[E-begging]
(DSP) "About a week and a half left to pledge to my Patreon and keep in mind when you pledge
not only you are contributing to this goal, but you're also getting personal perks,
like text or verbal shoutouts, get a t-shirt, you can get, uh…"
(Boogie2988) "Please, PLEASE, whitelist those websites.
We've got to sit through those ads, we gotta deal with them, and I hate them…"
[Brigading]
(DSP) "Ladies and gentlemen, you found the epitome of a loser on the Internet.
Find that man, find his fucking tag on PSN, and I give you permission to spam his fucking
inbox with enough nonsense so he's never able to do anything ever again.
Seriously, what an asshole!"
(Sinn0h) "Be sure to slap on a rating, tweet this out to Sniperwolf or anyone else…"
"TWEET THIS OUT TO SNIPERWOLF…"
(GradeA with goofy music) "So if you want it, maybe you could tweet at her, saying something
in the lines of 'Hey Susan, no one respects YouTube's Community Guidelines and it's
slowly destroying YouTube.
#WakeUpYT #MakeYouTubeGreatAgain'"
If you end up committing the same crimes than the worst gaming youtuber that ever exists
on this fucking planet, then…
I don't know, maybe you're doing something REALLY wrong, isn't it?
I mean, what's next, someone just jacking off on stream-?
Oh wait, that did happen, isn't it?
[CONCLUSIONS]
With this concludes this lesson in several guidelines on how to avoid the YouTube ego
epidemic.
There may be other many ways on avoiding it, such as ADMITTING YOUR WRONG FOR ONCE, but
I think it should be already obvious with all the previous points here.
I hope you learned a lot on how to prevent this cancer to spread around the YouTube landscape,
and I'll see you later with more lessons on how to be a proper satanic nazi.
Class over kids, tomorrow you'll have an exam to test your knowledge and I'll see
you making videos then.
Now fuck off.
…
You know what would be great?
If you would actually LISTENED TO WHAT I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN'T DO, YOU FUCKING BRAINDEAD
MONKEYS!
For more infomation >> Billie Eilish - COPYCAT (Audio) - Duration: 3:18. 
For more infomation >> México vs. Jamaica en Vivo Copa Oro 2017 - Live streaming Gold Cup - Duration: 2:01:59. 
For more infomation >> HISTORY of RICE INTERESTING FACTS HD - Duration: 2:42. 
For more infomation >> New bangla Movie 2017 | Boss 2 Full Movie Jeet YouTube|New Action Movie||Kolkata Bangla || 2017 HD - Duration: 2:01:53. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét