because before I take calls I want to speak about the provocative subject of
egos spiritual people don't have egos or do they ha ha so I'm sure those of you
who read my books know my views on this but it is a subject that keeps coming up
it's something that probably a lot of people have questioned me or my views
about this and my views in that's and yet so so I I don't share the same views
as many spiritual teachers or many people because I grew up with one set of
views but after almost dying it completely changed and if you're
anything like me you've probably grown up in a paradigm where spirituality
spiritual teachings of any kind taught you that spiritual awareness means
rejecting the ego it means suppressing the ego controlling the ego overcoming
the ego you probably grew up in a paradigm that taught that because I
certainly did and basically in the paradigm that I grew up spiritual
awareness literally in the ego was the enemy of spiritual awareness they were
the two polar opposites and and basically in order to increase spiritual
awareness you had to decrease your attachment to the ego and that is
basically what I was taught and I spent a lifetime trying to do that trying to
overcome my ego suppress the ego tame the ego and interestingly it wasn't
always easy so so let me tell you a little bit more about what what I feel
about the ego and it only took death for me to really understand it and you know
in my understanding keeps them evolving but it only took death for me to have a
completely different perspective and I want to also mention something here and
just interject that if you have if you go through
something that changes your perception of life let's say you have a near-death
experience a spiritual awakening or something whatever it is that completely
changes your perception of life from that moment on your perception may be
changed but it's not stagnant it doesn't mean your perception doesn't continue to
grow or evolve so when you have an awakening the thing that I sometimes ask
people to caution about is what what we have a tendency to do is to believe that
what we felt or understood in that awakening that's it that's the be-all
and end-all and so we then hold on to that and when people challenge that we
stick we stick to what we learned on that specific incident on that specific
day but that's actually that is very stagnating and what the way that I
prefer to look at it is that having something that happens to you that
completely changes your perspective it all it does is it takes you to a
different point and gives you a new beginning a new starting point but it
doesn't mean you don't move forward from that point it doesn't mean you don't
change evolve and grow from that point onwards it's a different place from
where you were before because that spiritual awakening or that near-death
experience or whatever has completely shifted your perspective but it doesn't
make you stagnant so don't be afraid to grow evolve and change your views
because you can rest assured that these views are only coming to these new views
that are coming to you every day as you grow and evolve coming to you from a
different perspective than where you were before it's like you're standing on
a completely different platform now but it doesn't mean you just hold on to what
you learnt on that one day it's like a new door has opened now go through it
and keep going so so although I keep trying to evolve my
views on the ego I realize that on the day at the time at the incident that it
completely changed the one thing that I learnt the biggest thing I learned was
that the ego is not the enemy the ego has to be embraced because it is a part
of who I am and if I don't embrace the ego I cannot love all of me I can't love
all the different aspects of me I have to in order to be able to love myself
except accept myself and see myself as a true expression of God or a true
expression of the universe I have to love every part of me and that includes
the ego and when we see the ego as the enemy it prevents you from being a full
expression of yourself because every time you see your ego pop up you will
judge it and here's another huge problem that we're facing in the world right now
and I'm going to explain a little bit about the differences between ego and
egocentric they're two completely different things but we seem to have
confused them but in rejecting our egos and especially people who believe that
spiritual awareness means rejecting your ego what this means is that people who
are spiritual teachers who have spiritual awareness which means an
awareness of their connection and awareness of everyone around them
because they're rejecting their egos it means they're also rejecting leadership
roles which puts them out there in the frontline it puts them out there to take
leadership roles in the world and because this is what we're doing the
ones with spiritual awareness are rejecting leadership roles we are
actually finding that the only people taking leadership roles are the ones who
have no spiritual awareness the ones who are more egocentric which is the other
end of the spectrum and that's what's actually happening and causing an
imbalance in our world so it's actually becoming more and
more important and more and more dire for people who have who are on a journey
of spiritual awareness to actually embrace their ego so that they can
embrace more leadership roles so that's why it's important for me to speak about
this subject because I want to shed some light for the people who still believe
that we have to overcome our ego and the ego is is the enemy and so on so
whenever I'm in an event or at a workshop and if I'm with people who've
never heard me speak and who don't know my views on the ego if I was to ask
everybody in the room can we have a show of hands of everyone who believes that
the ego is the enemy of spiritual awareness you would find pretty much
most of the people in the room if not all the people raise their hands and and
really you know in any room full of people where you have where people are
at a seminar where they're learning about you know anything to do with with
virtuality religion anything like that if you were to ask that kind of question
most people would raise their hand that they do feel the ego gets in the way it
gets in the way of spirituality it gets in the way of our awareness and and this
is a very very common theme so firstly I want to say that the ego is neither
spiritual or not spiritual it's neither it's just I see it as just your
interface it's just the interface you use with which to deal with the physical
world it's what in a sense it's what here
while you're in this physical body it's what allows you to have your
individuality but we are both individuals and connected as well at the
same time when we don't have a physical body when I was in the other realm I was
connected to everyone and it was very hard to tell where I ended and someone
else and when I was with my my dad and when I
was with my best friend then when there were other beings surrounding me it's
very hard to tell where I end and where they begin so I could feel everything
they were feeling and it's very hard for me to express my individuality when I am
in that in that state when I was in that state of the other realm of not having a
physical body not having a physical identity it kind of merges with them you
don't know where how much of what you're feeling is your feelings and how much of
what you're feeling is their feelings so in this world we need an ego to be our
interface to interact with other people and to navigate our way through the
world otherwise we'd all just be kind of melded with everyone else you know kind
of a little bit fluid and blob like so we would have no way there's no way we
would be able to stand up for ourselves we would open ourselves up completely
for everyone else's emotions and everyone else's dramas and everyone else
is everything to completely rule our world rule our day rule everything about
us and this doesn't work unless everybody every single person around us
has no ego has no interface and that only happens when we die that only
happens when we're on the other side when as long as you are here on this
realm you need that interface because if you don't have it but other people have
it then there's nothing to protect you from not feeling everything they're
feeling there's nothing to separate your emotions from theirs
there's nothing that tells you that okay this is me this is what I have to do for
my own survival you will start to feel what everyone else is feeling and you'll
get drawn into doing everything for everyone else's survival and you won't
even be able to separate what you need for your survival that's what it means
to have no ego whatsoever that's why you don't want to fight it you don't want to
suppress it and I believe this is why many many people
who have great spiritual awareness but have not learned to embrace their ego in
a healthy way are unable to integrate back into the world they're not able to
integrate back because they have lost that ability to see themselves as an
individual and the only way you can integrate back is to learn that it's
okay to embrace your ego and then you have to really embrace both the
spiritual awareness and the ego so what do I mean by spiritual awareness what I
mean by spiritual awareness is the awareness of our connection with our
world with the world around us and everybody in it it's being aware of what
everybody is feeling what what everybody's needs are but also being
aware of our own with no ego you're not aware of your own you're only aware of
everyone else's and that's very unhealthy and I believe that's why many
people who are deeply into spiritual awareness and don't learn to embrace
their egos they need to be isolated they become Hermits they they become
reclusive they actually cannot integrate back into the world and this is why I
say it's really important to learn a healthy way of embracing your ego so
somebody who has no spiritual awareness and I'll talk a little bit about that
who has no spiritual awareness but only an ego now those are egocentric so we're
not talking about becoming that we're talking about embracing both and I speak
about this to a to a great extent in my book what if this is heaven I think
about how to understand these two elements that when you understand it to
a point when you can truly embrace both see both of them as being who you are
you suddenly realize there is no separation in other words when we see
the ego as the enemy we've created a duality within us
we have created the separation between ourselves and the ego when we embrace
the ego the separation disappears and that's how the confusion disappears you
realize there is nothing separate from me the ego is not separate the
self-awareness or the spiritual awareness is not separate all of it is
won all of it is Who I am none of it is negative none of it is positive it's all
who I am it's the imbalance that causes the problem it's the rejection the
rejection of spiritual awareness causes too much identity with the ego which
causes egocentric which means you reject everybody else and everybody else's
feelings everybody else's egos then you become egocentric when you reject your
own ego and too self-aware you can't immerse in the world you can't integrate
in the world and and I hope that what I'm saying makes sense I hope I've said
it in a clearer way but have a think about this like imagine for when you're
a baby when you're born you're born fully engaged in both in awareness as
well as aware awareness of your ego as well as in your embracing your ego so we
are born and the way I explained it in my book is that if you imagine that you
were born with two dials and one dial measured your ego and the other one
measured your awareness your spiritual awareness and you're born with both
dials turned at 10 so you're born with a super high healthy embracing of your ego
and a super high healthy awareness of the world around you and there's no
separation between it all it's only when you start getting conditioned that you
start to see the separation between your ego and your spiritual awareness and so
on so so for a baby for example they're extremely sensitive and aware to the war
of the world around them they're aware of the feelings of their
parents they absorb the feelings of their mother their mother
is not feeling if the mother is disturbed and when she's caressing the
baby the baby can feel it they're so in tune to the world around them but at the
same time when they're hungry they cry they cry because they know for their
survival they need to to eat they need to drink they need to have their milk
and so a baby cries the baby is not going to think oh my poor mother
I better not disturb her a baby doesn't think that a baby is hungry or a baby is
in pain or in any form of discomfort or needs changing they will cry and they're
not going to for one moment think about how it's going to affect the people
around them that is a full embracing of their ego and a full embracing of their
spiritual awareness or their awareness of the world around them is the way
they're so sensitive to their mother walking into the room they're so
sensitive to the feelings and the energies around them and it shapes who
they are and how they think this is fully embracing all these aspects and
the ego and the and the awareness and a baby doesn't judge any of it they come
in embracing it all as we grow in this world we start to deny that awareness
that connection we have and as we start to deny it because we are conditioned to
start thinking in terms of the physical world
now here's the thing fear actually makes the ego side of us stronger and love
actually makes the awareness side of us stronger
so fear feeds the ego love feeds the awareness and if we are if we so what
happens is if we have a lack of love and a lot of fear then our ego becomes
hugely strong and our awareness goes right down and when our ego is hugely
strong we become egocentric and that's when
we stop thinking about other people and only do what works for ourselves now if
you know somebody or if you have children and you want them to be more
balanced my suggestion is it's not about suppressing the ego and this applies to
you as well it's never about suppressing the ego
it's about increasing the awareness so in my book I speak about how these two
the ego and the awareness are two dials if you find the ego dial is too high and
the awareness dial is too low it's not about turning down the ego it's about
turning up the awareness when you turn up the awareness it brings the ego into
balance you never want to suppress the ego you also never want to suppress the
awareness you don't want to suppress both you want to operate life with both
of them turn full on and that's the healthiest kind of person if in this
world we are if we are in like let's say in our schools in our education we are
increasing fear what we're doing is people's ego dolls are full on but we're
decreasing love their awareness dials are going down their awareness for the
world around them and the people around them are going down so we are actually
turning out people from our education system who are more egocentric whereas
what we need to do is turn up the awareness for everybody and we don't
need to turn down the ego we need to turn up the awareness when people go
into spiritual teachings they're then told to turn down the ego but they're
not told that you actually need both so they turn up the awareness but they turn
down the ego because they turn down the ego they don't take leadership roles
because you need an ego to be able to see that my message is needed in this
world so you need that identity me my message is needed in this world so
for me this is a plea to anybody out there who believes that your message is
needed in the world embrace your ego go out there and share it because what
we're seeing in the world today is a complete imbalance of people without the
awareness without the spiritual awareness who are taking on leadership
roles and we're seeing people with the spiritual awareness who have dialed down
their ego so much that they're shying away and instead everybody is kind of
reeling in the effects of the imbalance that we're feeling right now and I've
noticed that women in particular have been conditioned and trained more so not
to be egotistical and I hate that term about don't be egotistical and I would
say remove that from your vocabulary everybody men women you know does apply
to both genders and remove that don't be egotistical from your vocabulary and
instead ask yourself how can I increase my awareness or if you have a child or
somebody you know who's egotistical if it's a partner spouse girlfriend
boyfriend whatever don't say don't be go tist achill but help them to increase
their awareness of other Ness of the other people around them so what do I
mean by that about increasing awareness what I mean by that is that it means
encouraging people to see to see what others are feeling what others are going
through now people whose ego dials are turned right down and whose awareness
dials are right up turn right up they're already aware of the suffering of others
they're aware of the suffering of others but they play down their own suffering
because their ego dial is turned right down so they play down their own
suffering and they get they become really drained in constantly focusing on
the suffering of others this is why you need to turn that ego dial up so you can
be so you take care of your own self as well the
ones whose ego dials are turned right up and the awareness of others dial is
turned right down instead of telling them don't be so egotistical guide them
to the lives of others and help them to feel what others are feeling and there
are different ways of doing this like if it's your kids if it's teenagers
you can give them projects like asking them to be aware this week of all the
homeless people be aware of all the homeless people in your town or
something and how about we make a project of actually identifying them
pinning them out and let's make a little collection to give them something and
ask your children I mean another one that I like to advocate is to ask kids
what do you think it would feel like if I was say a paraplegic if I was in a
wheelchair what would it feel like how would I get around how would I transport
myself how would I go to bed how would I have a shower how would I go to the
bathroom and have them really think about it and pretend that they are
living a life of a parent paraplegic and what does it feel like and different
projects like that different things where you can put them in situations of
what it feels like to be someone else who is not them to be someone who is not
as privileged not as blessed to be someone of a different race of a
different from a different socio-economic level try it that you
know ask the kids try this for a week try this and let them really feel what
it feels like but without dialing down their own ego just feel that and that is
how we turn out people or kids who are really strong who are empathetic who are
aware and yet have strong enough healthy enough egos to take on leadership roles
to actually do something about it that's why it's so important to me that people
don't reject their egos and once again I want to say that when you embrace all of
you or when you embrace every part of you
your awareness your ego all of it it actually all you lose the separation
between them it all becomes one you realize there is no ego that's separate
from me there is no awareness that's separate from me it's all one there's no
lines there's no separation and that that to me is what's really important is
getting to that point and realizing that that there is no separation and that I
have to love all of my self and another just really important piece is that when
we judge our own ego every time we judge our ego when we see ego come up in
someone else we judge their egos too because we've been conditioned to
believe that the ego is negative and we judge other people's egos but when we
stop judging our own when we identify that yes it's part of my interface and
yes sometimes your ego will do things that like it has this need to win in
certain situations and things like that and you can see that if you don't judge
it it becomes easier to see these things and to overcome them and when you see
that don't beat your ego up don't suppress it don't push it down ask
yourself this question how can I increase my awareness more how can I
increase my awareness how can I see it from the other person's point of view so
it's not about judging your ego it's not about pushing it down it's not about
suppressing it it's always about increasing the awareness
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