Oh boy!........... Really nervous about recording this video for some reason......... Don't know
I suppose I'm just really really nervous about talking about my life stuff in
general.......... ah come on Jim let's go
Hello chums, James here. Welcome back to my channel!
Now if you know me personally or read the title of this video and you all know that I am single,
and that is perfectly okay with me.
Of course now I've got the actually pretty hard task of explaining why that is.
So as I stated before I've been single my entire life. Yes all 30 years of my life I have been single.
I have never been in a relationship or any kind of serious romantic involvement with anybody,
and in the grand scheme of things I'm perfectly okay with that for
a couple of reasons that I'll go into in a minute.
I tell a lie, I'm going to tell you about them now because quite frankly I couldn't
think of anything else to say beforehand.
So the first reason and I think the most major reasons as to why I'm still single is because I have low self-esteem.
You know I'm not going to make a big thing of that I'll hide it but I have...
low self-esteem and I think that one of the main things that comes from that is that
I don't deserve that you know that kind of romantic involvement with anybody.
I don't deserve that kind of love. Friendship love perfectly fine but
romantic love, In the position I am at the moment I just don't believe I
actually deserve it because I know what I'm like and it's really really hard I
have to do some serious mental gymnastics, to believe that I'm......
worthy of that kind of romantic involvement and that kind of love.
So I think that is the main reason why I'm still single........
but there are a couple of other reasons that just augment that kind of augmented it.
The first one of those would be the fact that I am heavily Introverted.
Now I'm not saying that that is what's causing my low self-esteem I'm
just saying that that augments my low self-esteem.
Being heavily introverted I highly value my own alone time. Therefore I it's not that I don't enjoy
spending time with my friends mainly, but I don't crave that
kind of social interaction. As a matter of fact in most cases I will prefer not
to but in most cases I will usually decline social invitations....
and I'm struggling to find a link as to what that has to do with low self-esteem but
I'm sure there is one somewhere. But with the whole Introversion thing again,
I know what I'm like and it just feeds into my low self-esteem.
I think that's all I can really say on the Introversion side of things.
The next reason doesn't really feed into my low self-esteem so much but it is kind of important and
that is the relationships are really not at the top of my priority list right now.
I have way higher priorities. I am very much a work focused person a career
focused person so, my YouTube stuff and my writing..... comes first.
That's at the top of my priority list, relationships are pretty low down on my priority list.
I'm just not looking for one but then that kind of feeds back into the low
self-esteem, because I don't feel like I deserve to be..... deserve that kind of love
I'm less likely to look for one anyway. So yeah it kind of feeds it a bit of a
vicious cycle really with that one but due to my low self-esteem I'm more
likely to prioritise the relationships lower. I'm sorry if this video is really
really all over the place in terms of my thought process, but again I'm very
anxious about recording this so.... My brain doesn't work when I'm anxious.
Now I suppose the three reasons that I've just outlined..... kind of beg the question:
Do I get lonely?.... and the answer that is unequivocally yes. I do get lonely
but I only get lonely very rarely, I don't get lonely very often. Thinking
about relationships and stuff doesn't really enter into my head all that often,
and usually when I do get lonely it's the feeling's gone very quickly. So yeah,
loneliness really isn't that much of an issue for me. But I suppose that would
then lead on to the next question which would be: Would I refuse a relationship
if one came along?.... and to that I would say again no. I wouldn't refuse a
relationship if a very special someone came along that could deal with the low
self-esteem and heavy Introversion and actually wanted to be with me despite
both of those things. God yes I would say yes or a relationship with her.
Whichever woman that is she would have to be someone pretty special to deal
with all of that crap. But at least I have looks ay? So to summarise I've been
single my entire life and I'm perfectly okay with it. I have not done a very good
job of explaining it in this video. I think I've explained the reasons more
why I think I'm single rather than why I was okay with it but as a matter of fact I don't
even really know why I'm okay with it I just know that I'm okay with it.
But to be fair I've got no more energy to go any further than this in this video so
I'm done. Are there any of you out there that sells and not so bothered with
relationships please let me know down in the comments. it would be nice to know that
I'm not so weird again. Again sorry for the lack of energy in this video but for
some reason my bodies crashing today but I had to film this video today so, sorry
about that. So if you liked this video give it a thumbs up and hit the subscribe
button if you want more videos like this, thank you so much for watching and I
will see you chums in the next video.
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