Hey ya'll so I wanted to talk briefly about the fact that you cannot change what
other people do you can only change yourself and sort of this responsibility
that I feel for people's happiness or helping other people and all of that
kind of stuff my whole life I've always dealt with you know stretching myself
too thin and wanting to help everyone it's really come up a lot more this week
for multiple reasons one of them you know
Chester's death um I have a friend who's in the hospital right now I have another
friend who is just going through a really rough time and I'm trying to be
there for her and someone else that is you know she's she's also going through
a really rough time and all of these people that have their individual lives
going on but you know they reach out to me and I try to be there for them and I
try to make time in my day to go see these people all the while I am you know
working full time and all this stuff and it's so easy to feel guilty whenever
people make decisions that aren't good for them that aren't good for other
people you know and it's so easy to feel like you could do something or you could
have done something that maybe would have changed the course of someone's
life All these what-ifs they don't matter
because thinking about all the stuff you could have done all that does is torment
you it just torments you about the what-ifs
and with what could have been because it doesn't change anything nothing good
comes out of that the only thing that possibly good could come out of it is if
you stop that cycle in your brain and the stuff thinking of the past
you take that motivation and that spur of emotion into the present and it's a
really hard lesson to learn the one that other people make their own decisions
that they are the ones that make the decision
and you yourself weren't a part of that you weren't the one that made the
decision you're not the one that can change that decision you know even if
you help someone sway their mind on something you specifically aren't the
one that makes that decision you aren't the one that changes someone's life they
are the one that does that you know and my friend one of my friends who is you
know struggling with a lot of things right now I went on a really long speech
I preach a lot to these people you know all my friends and they're always
laughing me because they're like you're going on another one of your long-winded
speeches but you know I was telling her that you know she's been in-in these sort
of situation before and she's gonna find herself back in those situations unless
she makes a change unless she specifically wants to change that she is
the one that takes the initiative because you know if you don't want to
get better or you inside yourself you can't find that drive or that you know
yearning for change any of that then you're not going to change. People around
you can support you all they can they can give you all the advice you need but
it really comes down to you because unless you take that help unless you ask
for that help you know nothing's gonna happen nothing's gonna change because
it's your life you know and you know for yourself that's empowering because
you're like I have this ability to change or not change
it can also be overwhelming you know but for the people around you that you care
about that's a hard lesson to learn because
you know we don't want to just watch our friends and our family and stuff
deteriorate in front of our eyes we don't want to watch people just go down
the wrong path we want to change them we want to shake them and be like what are
you doing you know and and I mean I get that way with myself sometimes but
it's so hard to realize that all you can do sometimes is be there for a person
and have an open ear and maybe a hug and there's really nothing you can do that's
gonna change the way someone lives their life unless they want to change and if
you're the person that's in the situation that needs to change you know
their life or turn something around I want you to hear this the future doesn't
exist it's only the past and the present and if the future doesn't exist and
there's only the past in the present you can't change the past but you can change
your present moment which in turn changes the future because the future is
the present I'm sorry I feel like I'm going on this whole crazy tangent but I
just want y'all to understand that it is possible to change it can be
difficult but it is possible to change you know but you can't change other
people and that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be there for them or-or give
them words of encouragement and support and help and stuff like yes do that
but that's not gonna change a person that's not going to be the thing that
makes someone turn their life around or make-forces them to make a specific
decision you know it comes down to them and all you can do is offer what you
have and maybe they'll take it. It's like the old saying you know you can lead a horse
to water but you can't make it drink. Thank you!
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