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hi hi so I don't think I've ever been nervous to do Facebook live um but I'm
trying something new because I'm both on my personal page and on my public
professional page so hopefully you all can hear me on both
of them so I because I have my phone on one and my computer on the other so
please give me a thumbs up if you're watching um and if you can hear me let
me know if you can hear me and see me fine because I'm on both my pages at the
same time but I have literally never been nervous to be on a live because one I've
never done it on both pages at the same time but two I've also never done a live
without mascara and for me mascara like maybe
it's my mask right I don't know maybe it's my okay hi Cassandra thank
you um so I have been having this thing on my hi Laurie
thanks for being here so I've had this thing rolling around in my head and then
I worked on a training today that I'm gonna do for my team tonight this is not
a plexus video I promise but Margo you lash boost would probably be my
best friend okay so I'm working on a training tonight for
my team and of course my team is stuck with a therapist and a certified
daring way facilitator as their leader so they get a lot of extra stuff but I then
also watched a video by Bob Heilig which for those of you that are in
network marketing you definitely know him oh my gosh who is calling me
no someone called me on facebook messenger doing it I have no idea what
happened so hopefully I'm still here anyways squirrel that one was not that
squirrel is not my fault anyways so um but I also watched a training by Bob
Heilig about like the Facebook algorithm and things like that so I I had this
this is a topic near and dear to my heart it's actually one of my most
popular blog posts called like I think I called it years ago how to make friends
with social media again so I want you to ask yourself a couple questions like are
you feeling down every time you log into social media after you log off of it are
you feeling down are you comparing your life to everyone else's posts on social
media are you just over it and you don't find like you think it's a huge waste of
time and you're just pissed off about social media and you don't get it are
you worried about the algorithm that people are posting about all of these
different things that are happening on social media like Facebook is making a
bunch of changes things like that so you're annoyed and you're frustrated and
you're not feeling filled up when you leave social media and yet I'm going to
guess that you're still scrolling and I love social media I don't think any of
you on here would ever doubt that I love social media I have met some of my very
best friends simply through social media I love using it to learn and grow and
teach and make people laugh and things like that however I'm also gonna I'm not
gonna trump you but I'm gonna trump you a little bit I hate comparison but I'm
gonna ask you to think about something I'm a 38 year old woman who can't have
kids social media is a literal landmine of baby bumps and back-to-school
pictures and baby pictures and family vacations and things like that and so if
I can learn to love social media so can you and so I wanted to jump on here and
tell you a little bit about why I am so passionate about this topic and maybe
give you some tips to help so the first thing that I did to make my relationship
better with social media was I detoxed from it so I like went through a
hardcore detox I don't check it first thing in the morning I have a very very
hard and fast rule about that and I also tried very hard this one and I struggle
really hard with this one but I try very hard not to make it the last thing
that I look at before I go to bed that one is my that's my trouble if I'm
scrolling Facebook in bed I know I'm struggling with numbing and probably not
rumbling with the emotions I have going on in my life but so I had to detox like
literally when I first detoxed from social media to make my relationship better
after failed infertility treatments I detoxed I only allowed myself to check it
like twice a day at first and then I increase to four times a day I never
started my day with it I never ended my day with it so do you need to detox from
it a little bit do you need to set boundaries around it do you need to set
an alarm when you go to scroll Facebook like literally you set a ten minute
alarm because you would be shocked and there's apps for this now that tell you
how much you scroll Facebook so and what we now know Facebook is going to like
they don't want you to scroll they want you to engage and so my other thing in
regards to detoxing and then setting boundaries around it and this is the
biggest piece that I am so passionate about are you actually using it for what
it was meant for because social media was meant to connect us and I know that
there's so much research right now that shows that it's actually causing
depression causing comparison causing bullying causing the feeling of
loneliness that we have in this world and yet I'm over here feeling the most
connected to people that I love ever and a big reason of that is because I use
social media for what it was meant to be used for for freaking connection and if
you're not using it for connection then I'm willing to bet that you're one of
the people that hates it and yet you're still freaking scrolling it and feeling
worse and blaming Facebook for or blaming Instagram for it when it's
really your own behaviors and what would it be like for you to reclaim your
relationship with social media and fill back up with it like it's meant to be
it's meant to be used as a way to connect I believe social media is meant
to learn make laugh inspire and connect with people the thing about that is
though you have to actually engage with people on it you have to comment on your
friends posts because if you don't all you're gonna see is business ads and
you're gonna see salesy graphics and you're gonna see the same five people
over and over comment on those people that you love and then they'll also see
your stuff but the other big thing and this is obviously what I'm super
passionate about is that you need to share your life on social media if you
are yearning for connection share your life with us
and share it in a real authentic way and I will tell you it is scary as hell
my heart is racing and my voice is in my throat because this is scary but like
share your life with the people who care about you share your life be real it
doesn't have to be all rainbows and butterflies you need to be real on
social media and you can still be real and not be a debbie downer and super
pissed off at the world and angry all the time like we don't need those posts
on social media also so like are you sharing in an authentic way because when
you share your life in an authentic way on social media your loved ones feel
connected to you which means they're gonna comment on your stuff and then you
have a conversation we don't need to worry about the algorithm we don't need
to worry about depression and comparison when it comes to social media if you're
using it to freaking connect with people and that was a big soapbox wait works
that's not a big one if you are going to use social media to truly connect and
you are gonna use it in a vulnerable way and share authentically which I know you
all love that I do it I have some amazing relationships with people on
social media because I share in an authentic way I let you in on the shit I
let you in on the hard stuff I let you in on the good stuff I let you in I give
you resources that I love I am as um Tasha I want to pronounce Tasha
Eunich I'm reading her book right now Insight it's a business book and it's
not an easy book to read but she talks about being informer on social media
give people what you are passionate about give people what you know about
like share those things with your loved ones on social media in an authentic way
that's my spin on it if you're going to do that you must have the skills to cope
with what comes with that so I love what about Heilig is doing I love what Tasha
is doing yeah Tasha is sorry it's a new book so I keep reading
her name yeah I love what Tasha was doing I love what all these coaches are
doing like you like work your business on social media share authentically that
I that's what I'm asking you to do and on the other side of that coin you
better have the skills to cope with the emotions that come up when you share
your life in an authentic way so here's my therapist rising strong lesson for
you because when you share your life in an authentic way people are going to
shame you blame you judge you and criticize you and guess what no matter
how perfect you appear to be on social media if you're going to use it and only
use it in that way that you only share that perfect made-up mascaraed version
of you you're still going to be shamed blamed criticized and judged because
that's the world that we live in if you're going to show up and be seen in
this world especially on social media you have to have the skills to rumble
with those things that come with it that's why I'm so passionate about the
work that I'm doing that's why I do the self-care stuff that's why I meditate
that's why I pray that's why I ask for help that's why I reach out and ask for
what I want to need that's why I have boundaries around things that's why I do
the work that I do in the rising ever upward work because I have to be able to
rumble with the emotions that come up because I live my life with my whole
heart and sometimes it sucks and sometimes it feels way easier to live in
a boxed up shell of who you once were pissed off at the world and never
letting anybody in there are days that that would feel easier nope it's not
that is your known misery so I have to have the skills to rumble with the emotions
that come up which are like shame and criticism and anxiety and forgiveness
and grief and boundaries and trust and like all of these things that are just
about human emotion and connection you have to have the skills to rumble with
those things if you're gonna show up in your life and if you're going to show up
on social media and those skills include the language asking for what you want and
need speaking your truth self-care filling yourself
I mean I could go on for five hours about that I mean take care of Tuesday
starts on Tuesday watch my youtube channel for that anyways okay I've
already cried three times and gotten on like three soap boxes and gone over what
I wanted to go but and I haven't answered any of your comments so I am
going to jump off because it's Sunday night and yeah I will actually I will
respond your comment so Emily yes see you reconnect with people like literally
I just found them like today I got two messages from people that I they just
needed a little like support and they felt like they could reach out to me and
when I feel like I need that I can reach out to them um when I share the hard
stuff I mean even if all you get is major prayer warriors which my wall is
full of um that in and of itself is pretty powerful if you share your full
life on social media so thank you Spring for watching
hi Christina ginger uh-huh next what about the choice to take time off for
self-care stopping the overwhelm I mean you all know how much I am disciplined
and diligent about my self care that's why I'm starting take care Tuesday
on Tuesdays on the YouTube channel because if you don't make time to take
care of yourself and fill up you will have nothing to give from and when I ask
you to take better care of yourself I am asking you to add more stuff to your
plate choose you're busy if you don't start to take care of you you will crash
and burn so you can watch the youtube channel for that because there's gonna
be a lot more to that Margo thank yes I agree
Margo says Facebook has been a lifesaver when it was can't when I was caring for
my mom and after she died
yep because when you use this in a way to add to the world and to serve the
world you'll get back what you need it's called community and you were not meant
to do this life on your own we are wired for connection
and Facebook is a place for that so let's Instagram if you use it in a
healthy way okay I'm done thanks for yeah thanks have a great make it a great
night I need some dinner now bye
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