- Boys, we had a good birthday party, didn't we, yeah?
- [Jack] Hmm, no. - [Kieren] No.
- It was all right, but anyway,
we're back here in the office,
Marty's office, and we're going to finally do
some episodes of Marty's Internet Show Season 3.
Here's a stroke, any ideas?
- [Jack] Nope.
- None at all... Kieren?
- We get testicular cancer.
- [Marty] I can't do that...
- [Jake Paul] And then we'll be here for 3 minutes.
Only need one thing there, then we'll be on the 7th floor.
- Is that Jake Paul?
- [Jack] Yeah. - Is that fuckin' Jake Paul?
- Yeah.
- Fuckin'!
(phone smacks floor)
No Jake Paul!
Only Logan.
Okay, so look, I didn't mean to overreact,
but when we're in the office, we write, we work.
We work hard.
We don't just give shitty ideas.
Testicular cancer, what was that?
Let's- - My dad has testicular cancer
- Does he actually?
- I don't know. - I don't either.
Anyway!
That Jake Paul video gave me a bit of an idea.
- What was the idea?
- I dunno, you'll find out today on Marty's Internet Show.
That's what we're watching now.
(upbeat electronic music)
♪ Marty has an internet ♪
♪ Marty has an internet ♪
♪ Marty has a internet ♪
♪ Marty has a internet ♪
♪ Marty has a internet ♪
- Sometimes in life, it's not about the strategy.
It's about the execution of it.
It started all of the big YouTubers.
Shane Dawson, Ricegum, Jake Paul, Logan Paul,
Keemstar, Kalab Templeman.
And all of these kids, they all have,
they all have these four things in common.
One: outlandish personalities, crazy bunch of kids.
Two: a bit of drama, bit of drama.
Three: they always try to start beef with each other.
And four: that sweet, sweet merch store money.
They are always plugging that merch store.
And you know, after studying this art of YouTuberism,
I think I've figured it out, and I'm going to use it
with my new YouTube persona: Dirty Burnt Jew.
What's up, Jewheads?
Back 'atcha again with a new video.
It's Dirty Burnt Jew, and today,
we got a really cool challenge.
It's the milk, cinnamon, milk, chilli challenge.
You ready, boys?
- Yeah. - Yeah, sure.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Yes, a bit more, a bit more. - Yeah!
- Marty, yeah! - Yeah, woo.
- Yeah, Marty. - Woo, yeah!
- Fuck you!
- Yeah, whoa! - Fuck you!
- Fuck you, fuck you, Marty!
(mumbles)
(gags and coughs)
- I don't want to do it, guys!
I don't want to do anymore. (coughs)
Okay, okay, Kieren! - Fucking do it!
I'll do it, I'll do it! (mumbles)
Can I have a bit of that water?
- [Kieren] Nope, chilis. - [Jack] Chilis.
- [Kieren] Get 'em in ya.
- Woohoo, nice and-- (coughs)
no, no, no, don't!
(techno buildup)
Whoa, shit!
No, no more, I'm not doing all three.
- [Kieren] Go to the next, go to the next.
Come on, the views!
- Oh, you piece of fuckin' shit, oh.
I don't wanna do this anymore; I don't want to!
(vomits)
Okay, the challenge is all right.
The next stage:
vlog.
The vlog's next.
Stage two!
Hey boys.
Just having a fuckin' bit of a
fuckin' Dirty Burnt Jew vlog in the park today.
It's a bit forecast today.
Just hanging out with Jack in the background there.
How you're going, man?
Hey, Ben, Benji!
Benji, over here, come on, man.
Come to vlog. - I'm buying drugs, man.
- It's the Dirty Burnt Jew vlog!
What are you thinking?
Ooh, is that a vape?
Fat clouds, brother!
Now I'm taking this.
Aw, fuck, I forgot he knew karate!
Fuckin' oh, guys, so Benji's a pretty good kick.
We're gonna head on home now and see if we can
do some cool, new videos for Marty's Internet Show.
See how that goes, so if that's okay, you know?
Hey Jack, what's going on, my man?
- Fuck over here! - Oh shit!
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben?
- Fucking don't move!
Fuckin' put that on.
- I don't wanna put it on.
- Put that the fuck on!
- Okay, okay, I'm putting it on, I'm putting it on.
- Yes.
Now kiss.
- No, I'm not, I'm not gay.
- Kiss!
Fucking kiss!
- He might be a bit gay.
Ben, if you watch, you're a fuckin' faggot.
Look...
Look, lemme guess, lemme guess.
You're a YouTuber, aren't you? - Yeah.
- Lemme guess, vlogging channel?
No, gaming channel, right?
- Yep, Roblox. - Roblox.
- And Poptropica.
- Look, you don't have to do this.
Look, I know what it's like.
I know what it's like to have a channel
and nobody's watched your videos, I understand.
It doesn't have to be like this.
If you join with me, we have a strategy.
We can do this together, okay?
You can do it?
Okay, hostage-taker, so look.
We've written our PewDiePie diss track.
It's gonna get us all viral.
I'll do the first bit, you do the second bit, okay?
So after I give you the cue, you start doing it, okay?
You ready?
Okay, here we go!
(rap music)
♪ Uh, yep, Motherfucking Marty in the house ♪
♪ Skeet, skeet, skeet, uh ♪
♪ Yep, let's go ♪
♪ Hey PewDiePie, also known as Felix ♪
♪ Your vids are as original as motherfuckin' trail mix ♪
♪ You ain't even that funny, I miss your gaming vids ♪
♪ but not like actual good ones, ones aimed at kids ♪
♪ I also think your girlfriend's really hot ♪
♪ And she's definitely not a, not a, not a thot ♪
♪ But back to you, remember when you said the n word? ♪
♪ And you meant it, you racist, cause you said the n word ♪
♪ You're a fucking racist, said the n word that time ♪
♪ You're a fucking racist ♪
♪ And you think black people are not fine ♪
♪ You a fucking racist, you hate black people ♪
♪ You're a fucking racist who hates black people ♪
♪ But also your vids are also not that good ♪
♪ Maybe you should get some advice ♪
♪ From the guys from the good hood, like Ricegum ♪
♪ Or Jake Paul, or Keemstar, or Logan Paul ♪
♪ Make some good content, you racist piece of shit ♪
♪ If you think it's funny saying (beep), you'll get hit ♪
♪ Yep, yep, now it's your turn ♪
♪ Remember your bit? ♪
♪ Remember your bit? ♪
Gimme the fucking gun.
Come to my fucking office and try to do this fucking shit.
You think you're fucking gonna do this to me?
- I just wanted to watch The Boss Baby.
- Fuckin' coming into my house
and trying to do this shit to me?
You know what?
I'm gonna fucking unmask you, you piece of shit.
You know what?
Kieren?
- Yeah. - Why?
- I wanted to watch The Boss Baby.
- Get out from the chair, come on.
Jack, get up too, man.
I thought this, this YouTube stuff would be pretty cool.
Like that's how everyone's getting big these days.
Vlogs, challenges, diss tracks, but you know what?
You can't just...
you can't just do what everybody else does.
You gotta be original, and you know what?
I think you, Ben, Benji, Kieren, Jack, Marty,
I think altogether that we can make
one of the most original TV shows ever.
- Nothing you make is original.
(slaps)
(upbeat electronic music)
- Oh, Bobby.
- [Kieren] Think of the views.
- It better get a million.
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