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Restaurant Style Kadhai Paneer | How To Make Kadhai Paneer | Kadhai Paneer Recipe - Duration: 10:11.
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Arrow 5x21 Extended Promo "Honor Thy Fathers" (HD) Season 5 Episode 21 Extended Promo - Duration: 0:46.
Every time I take a step forward, it feels like the past is pulling me back.
Where are we on finding Chase?
We're nowhere.
I'll bet real money that Sampson's working with Chase.
Makes sense.
They're here.
He's mine!
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The 100 4x11 Extended Promo "The Other Side" (HD) Season 4 Episode 11 Extended Promo - Duration: 0:47.
You can't expect me to stay down here not knowing what happened to my sister!
The radiation levels have become critical,
and if we open that door,
those people outside will kill us.
Your plan is to hope Bellamy comes to your rescue?
Yes.
I am opening that door.
To stop me, you're going to have to kill me.
What are you doing?
What I have to.
Like always.
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CITY2CITY | Mumbai | Episode 3 | Jill Scott Helps Make Dreams Come True in Mumbai - Duration: 11:21.
For more infomation >> CITY2CITY | Mumbai | Episode 3 | Jill Scott Helps Make Dreams Come True in Mumbai - Duration: 11:21. -------------------------------------------
My Experience with Childhood Onset OCD - Duration: 26:07.
Hello everyone, its Agatha and today...I've been meaning to make some videos
about mental health stuff for a while but I never got around to it--'cause it's so personal I don't know and I
wasn't sure what to say 'cause I always forget everything when I'm in front of
the camera. But I thought I would do a video on childhood onset OCD. Um that
made it sound really fancy. I meant more like my experience. Um I thought it would
be a good thing to talk about because it's like essentially "over" since I'm an adult so it's something I could reflect
on easily and not feel like I'm talking too much about myself now either, you know. I'm sorry about if my voice
seems weird. It's just 'cause I'm still sick. Um anyway childhood onset OCD is
OCD that has its "onset" or start before you're 8 years old. That's pretty early in childhood now that I
think of it. But I guess later they'd call it adolescence. But yeah um I
started to notice...oh that's another thing. I still have OCD it's just I
*clenches fists melodramatically* got it at a young age. I started to
notice--well I can first remember--having OCD symptoms when I was about five. I
just had sort of these obsessions with things. I mean, that's what OCD is. You
have obsessions and then you usually feel like there are some things you have to do to try to shake the feeling
worries you have. There is some OCD that is just obsessive but it's less common. Usually
people are trying to do something to feel better.
Um yeah. When I was little it could be like any little thing I would be obsessive about. Since when you're so
young you don't really have a sense of what's important or not. I was never
worried about a big issue so much as I
was about small issues or I guess the
big attends on how you look at it one
thing that really worried me was
religion um I also worried a lot about
the sort of well-being
the general well-being of any inanimate
object um I see an inanimate object
because I wasn't convinced things why
inanimate and honestly I'm still not
really convinced so that's another thing
else but so I was aware of the idea of
God for as long as I could remember
um I was mostly exposed to the Christian
idea of God although I'm Jewish
because my mother is converted to
Christianity so that's what she was
wherever told us about except I didn't
really understand it well enough to have
discretion about religion so I was just
always focused on the idea of heaven and
hell and what could yet you in there um
I would kind of thought anything-goes I
thought doing bad things which could be
stealing um and stealing to me was like
um
eating a piece of cake off like swiping
off the cake in the kitchen or like
taking a coin from my dad's like coin
jar or like drawing on the walls I was
just like any of those things I would
worry I would be going to hell and so I
would just develop like these really
complicated prayers I would do so like
at night before I went to bed I would
count - don't laugh it 666 was my lucky
number because six was my lucky number
so and 666 was I guess the highest six
number I could count - I'm glad I didn't
choose like 6,000 or something cuz I
never would have slept all the idea I
would stay up so late because first I'd
couch 666
then I had to do like a prayer before I
went to bed and in the prayer I would
pray for like the safety of all like my
toys or like my family like every little
thing and if I forgot I would keep going
and like add on and I get I don't know
how long it would take I mean I didn't
sleep that well I would stay up till
like 11:00 p.m. like with my sisters or
whatever because I was dreading going to
bed and like having to do all this I
guess and then when I was in bed I would
just keep like going on this prayer that
would like the beginning of the prayer
was I'm sorry for and then I would like
list anything I thought I did wrong that
day and then I would say I'm also sorry
for anything I might have done wrong
just in case I missed something because
you don't want to get snuck into hell
because he forgot and so
then after that would move on to like
and I would think about like where each
like toy or whatever like plush toy or
anything I had what was in the house and
say I wanted it to be safe um I would
also say about my family and I would
also like play that like my family like
wouldn't go to hell or anything cuz I
that's pretty bad it going to hell
there's nothing after that I'm laughing
talking about it now but I was dead
serious
um so that was when I was about six I'd
say it was the one I had that the
strongest um I wasn't generally very
anxious about everything long about my
day so I had a plush bunny purse toy I
wish I had it with you to show you guys
but she was like rabbit with likey a
white sort of cream-colored rabbit I
think you actually can see her in my
room to her video but she was sweet and
I would just carry her around everywhere
I want I guess to ease anxiety pretty
much from when I was like five until I
was like eight all around that period of
time um I was were always really worried
about my space like we had sort of the
finished basement in the house we lived
in when I was around that age
um that had all my siblings and my toys
and stuff and there was the portion of
the basement
we called the doll house that was most
of like the girl stuff like dolls mostly
mostly my dolls I was
like I was very obsessive about how
everything was arranged and if anything
got out of place or like toys got mixed
in or my siblings were like playing like
raucous Li like near them I would just
freak out so I wasn't very good to play
with and I remember I would get in
trouble full of trouble for like
bullying and stuff because I like did
not get it because to me like the rules
about where everything were and how you
handled everything it was always so
obvious to me that I didn't really get
that to other people it wasn't like that
that they were just playing and whatever
happened happened so that was kind of
awkward I remember like the thing is
about that just like no one ever like
tried to like mess anything up to upset
me until they noticed that was bothered
by it and then like I remember my sister
would move stuff around try them bug me
like if she felt resentful of me or
anything like that she'd move things and
mess things up to get me riled up
because I was really up I was really
strong-willed when I was a little kid I
would just talked all the time and I was
really bossy and play and always wanted
my own way
people always have trouble believing
that when I told them this now I'm more
like one more if I make friends now
they're like really but I was quite uh I
was quite a child in that way
um I've always wanted to be talking and
doing really um intense discussion I
play with a lot of rules and complex
stories or whatever outside or else I
would just arrange things if I wasn't
like doing some kind of elaborate game
but that's kind of good enough topic but
I was really specific anyway about how
tours and stuff were arranged and I had
a lot of anxiety about that like
sometimes I'd even worry about like
lying awake at night Oh where's like
that did I put this in the right place
did I forget something that's and
something's out of place and it's going
to be this way all night oh my god like
that was also this fan in the bedroom I
slept in the same bedroom is my parents
um and my younger sister and we had a
like a fan for white noise but I would
like to start freaking out and upset
some of the fan because it would make
this noise like really wasn't any like
kind of complicated noise but to me I
was like freaked out by it I started to
hear like sort of like this voice of
this light kind of it's sort of I would
sort of like create like I sorta demonic
mmm
chant to it so it would so it would just
be going like shrilly but out here like
this that's kind of like how it sounded
to me and I would just get freaked out
hearing that night and thinking about it
and fancied sort of alive to me and I
was just I don't know why it worried me
so much but it really did um I also
worried about like
I had some sort of one I guess the nine
compulsions like I would worry about
like the ditches um in the kitchen like
which ones I used to eat I would only
eat with a small fork I actually still
have a preference to that but at the
time that was like I'd eat with a small
fourth grade wouldn't eat like it when I
went out to restaurants and stuff I was
okay but at home it had to be the small
fork um I remember when I was two d was
really bad I would only like eat with my
toy rabbit with me like I would hold her
under my arm they were like having my
lap were on the table she always had to
be there and then as it gradually didn't
get was not quite as bad I would put her
on a shelf while I was eating but of
course that sometimes worried me because
some thing could happen to her something
la was there I wasn't like a little kid
like who has drags around like the toy
with them I was like really careful and
like incredibly anxious about like the
upkeep of this rabbit like I thought of
her as alive so like every single day I
had like a drawer of bows and stuff like
that my mom my grandmother gave to me or
that I made myself what little knit
scarves and things for my bunny and I
would like put them on her a new one
every single day and I was always
wanting her to be washed and I would
just wait outside the washing machine
watching her go around till she was
finished and like oh wow I was always so
worried about any like little damage to
her I'd like go to my mom like freaking
out like oh my gosh she'll good did she
need this does she need to be washed or
what's like I was just one day I really
became convinced that she was sick I
thought she was dying my something I
really don't remember exactly what it
was it's it's hard to remember the
details of these things because they
don't really technically make logical
sense but I thought something was really
something really bad was
to her so I was just like crying like
all evening and I was talking to my
older sister about it and like my dad
like noticed I was like crying and
freaking out he's like it's okay
anything you've done like we're not mad
like if you've broken something just
tell us it's okay it's not what we fight
freaking out like this but I couldn't
tell them for some reason I was just
like freaking out him I don't know how
that even ended I think I just like
spent the whole evening just like kinda
whatever I guess eventually I just want
to sleep and sort of forgot about it um
another thing I had about when I was
sleeping at night
is before I went to sleep I would tell
myself these stories that were like so
judges we at which realistic stories
we're the same thing always happened I
don't really know how they were
comforting to me because they were
always really morbid or like kind of
like sort of messed-up interpretations
of things I heard your song on TV like
add this one story I would tell myself
about this girl and she was like maybe a
little older than I was at the time I
was like six and she had like this
blonde hair she really look like one of
those little model girls on TV and like
in like this would of like story she
would eat and eat and eat and eat and
eat like a really big pile of food and
then like her stomach would just like
get like huge huge like she was like
pregnant with 20 babies so big and she's
like lie down and then like a doctor
would come and feel like you ate too
much so now I have to cut off your
stomach
yes that's how I understood soo-ji
and he'd like the doctor whatever would
like cut off her stomach just like sawed
off streets like this and I mad beat and
then she'd be like kind of cured and
that would just be it some kind of noise
I don't know um another story I had was
about this like really really like bad
like mage he worked like at this castle
um but she wasn't really good at all at
it and so she would always just be like
fooling around with other employees like
oh my mo what kind of TV I was watching
um um and then she'd almost get fired
but she wouldn't get fired because she'd
like grovel at her boss or whatever I
don't know what kind of story that was I
think that one was a little knows a
little younger before I had that story
with the girl who has her stomach cut
off I'd say around the same time I had
that story about the girl had her
stomach cut off I had the story about
this one girl who was like she was like
really like this cool character she had
like really really straight dark hair
and like I imagined she was 16 it's
crazy that this character I imagined was
16 but I didn't know anyone that age so
I thought of that as like being like a
really kind of cool age like adult kind
of but still like young enough to be
doing weird cool things and she had like
this like boyfriend and I would have
these crazy fights like I think just
stuff I saw on TV because my parents
never fought like that or anything or
I didn't know anyone's who did that they
just like would be like yelling and
screaming at each other and waving their
hands around oh my god and then that
would make out and make out like I don't
know what I thought what this kind of
story was like I think it was just like
these really cathartic kind of
storylines I was attracted to and I
would just tell these to myself before I
went to bed or whatever probably weird
honestly I don't know um what else sort
of compulsions in obsession stab when I
was a little kid hmm oh yeah back to the
table um table compulsions that I forgot
about I always had to when I was younger
like five I always had to finish my food
last um so I referred to myself in my
head as doctor finish last
so my stuff is pretty imagine to now
that I think of it but yeah I consider
myself doctor finish last and I wouldn't
leave the table or finish eating until
everybody else had I also had to use a
certain chair which was marked with the
bow because one day life before
Thanksgiving I Biff something I freaked
out where did all the chairs would get
mixed up and I wouldn't know which one
was mine and then God knows what so I
would always use the same same chair
marked with the boat might actually
still just have the bow on it because we
never removed it which is quite a long
time for type of bow especially since
we've moved since then but um I then I
guess I'll finish by telling you two
specific stories about my OCD I had when
I was little that I think kind of good
examples of what it's like if this isn't
something you've experienced um one of
them is so you know my little pony like
the little plastic ponies and stuff when
my sister's now a little we had a lot of
them
we still do have them somewhere and
there was this one I had that was sort
of I forget exactly what it looked like
but it was a sea pony it was good of a
teal color I think shaped like a
seahorse and then one day I must have
knocked her on the ground or something
and my dog at the time she chewed off
the head of the pony and I was like like
just things like that were just like so
disturbing to me like and then I would
have like these nightmares after that
that like the pony got was like out that
I was in this water park I'd have this
repeated nightmare that I was in a water
park all around and there were all these
slides going down but I was just sitting
in the water that was rushing like in
sort of a cavernous place and I was
playing with the pony and it slipped
away and fell down the waterslide I
would have that nightmare all the time
which doesn't sound like a big deal I
guess now but to me at the time or even
now to me that still sounds scary um but
I got a replacement for this pony
eventually that was it went pretty well
the replacement I still have um my
mother bought her for me and I remember
before we bought her I would look online
at the picture before she came in the
mail cuz my mom bought from online I
look at the picture every night with my
mom um eventually I couldn't look at the
picture anymore and I remember being
like upset about that but I was
definitely happy to have a new pony um I
couldn't look at the old Pony that had
had the head bit off sometimes my dad
would show it to me I don't know why dad
sometimes think that kind of thing Sonia
well when I was like oh my god
ah it was so disturbing to meet
another's joy also relates to toys and I
think a lot of people have had this
experience I had a Furby okay you know
the robot fuzzy animal toy that like
plays games and stuff you can play red
light green light with it it'll say
you're my friend or whatever and I had a
Furby when I was eight and I would play
with it all the time everything was cool
and then one day I had the phobia was
just in my sister's my two older
sister's room upstairs and then my
younger sister got a hold of it and she
tore off its nose it had a rubber
covering its nose mechanisms of mouth
opening um and she took it off so it was
like the Furby skeleton was showing
underneath and I was I was not okay with
it and like so I went to try and turn it
on and then like the Furby said like it
started to like move around and talking
but it couldn't do it right and it said
you're my friend I was gonna say you're
my friend but just kept going friend
it was dead it was oh my god I was
terrified and so I turned it off and I
was like freaking out to my mom I was
like oh my god well good well why did
you let my sister like cuz I was like
upset that my sister got ahold of my mom
was like hey years old it's just a Furby
like it's fine I thought she was flying
with it nice loop and I was like to me I
just like I was just like I was so
disturbed by seeing like this thing that
I thought was of is alive was like
disfigured and like no longer like
functional and I went behind the
curtains like that was like we had like
these silky stretchy curtains that I
like to go behind when I was little and
I just stood like between the curtains
in the windows you know and I was just
like looking at the window dramatically
thinking about the Furby and how it
failed as a mother
I'm like oh my god I was so upset um I
think I don't think I stayed upset about
that - one two long low I think just the
rest of that day because by that time I
was older um and I wasn't quite as like
I'd seen my OCD at that time was like
that bout of us he was like worse when I
was like six and I remember my mom didja
like apologized he was like she was like
okay I'm sorry like about the Furby um
but yeah so it was always like things
like that I guess with childhood OCD
like always these little things look
like are not actually a big deal with
both and when you're a child they seem
like a big deal and then when your child
with OCD is just like this incredibly
huge deal like to freak out with all the
time I'm sorry about the organization of
this video this is just I dunno I like
to watch kind of videos like this
sometimes so I hope it's enjoyable it's
awfully personal
obviously but thank you for watching I
like subscribe comment
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Comenzó una nueva era en el fútbol mexicano: el Torneo Femenil MX - Duration: 2:25.
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