To me, the phrase 'family is the most important thing,' does not make much sense. Family is
the root of all problems, I think. Yes, socially, family is the root of all problems. I will
explain why. Family is the basis of society, and that is how we have defined it
and accepted it. It is a given. And in fact, if I question family, everyone gets
terrified and angry. There are rallies on what a natural family is, what a non-regular
family is. I always wonder, how much darn free time do you have to think about
what other people do? And how other people live. And then I wonder, why does
it matter if it is not natural? Why keep or why take care of something and keep something, just because
it is normal and natural? Nature is very wise. There are natural and normal things
that if they do not endure, they become extinct. And it gets rid of them. But no, humans want to keep everything 'because
it is natural.' And that is just to defend what nature does and question what
we do. But I want to talk about the other extreme: Why is it that just because it is natural, you are
well and someone else who is not normal, is not? Living in a typical family does not
have to be the way to live. There are families with two fathers, there are families of
two mothers, there are families with three. There are families that do not have children, there are families that live in different houses.
There are families that have different agreements, but no. This family unit has been what
has divided us, because that first division of 'this is my family,' makes you not even know
who the heck your neighbor is. And of course, that goes even beyond that: you do not know who lives in
your building, and of course, what matters to me is everything up to where my limit reaches, I do not care about
what is beyond my limit, and that is no longer my concern. And that keeps us divided and separated.
Family is the basis of nations, races, religions, and finally, one
in three marriages in the West ends in divorce. And the problem of that
also has to do with ownership. It is an ownership agreement.The husband owns the wife
The husband and the wife own the children. Children belong to the parents. What's more,
when they leave the house, it is a problem because they left and they are not yours, they never were.
But in legal terms, I understand where family comes from. It is a way to function.
It is an issue related to last names, traveling, logistics, material possessions, who inherits what,
but it should not be the most important thing. It is a way how we have functioned and
I am not saying that it is the way we function. That is how we have functioned.
But, what if it changes? In my opinion, the most important thing is not family, it is love. In my opinion,
the most important thing is not ownership or agreement, it is love. Owning my children is stupid.
I want my children to be free, worthy, full of beauty. Not owned, controlled, divided,
separated, and competing and losing their individuality to fit into society. Nowadays the
person who is less likely to fit into society is the one who is the most successful. We need unique beings.
Who are you? Go and do it. But no, you are very focused on how society works.
What binds us is love. I do not have a bond with my children and my ex-wife because of a contract
or the marriage we had. I have a bond with them because of the love that I feel and I will always feel for them.
And love is the only thing that grows when you share it. Nothing else does. So, I
could rebuild my life with whoever I want and there will always be room in my heart
for my two children and my ex-wife. But since people do not get that because
marriage and family are what is natural, when someone wants to break out of that normal mold,
they tend to do it aggressively, breaking things, yelling, violently, with deceit, annoyances
and separation and division and complete polarization. And I would like for you to understand that
you can leave the concept of family and you can, not only keep, but grow the understanding
of love inside you. I love my children. And I think that loving them does not necessarily mean living
in the same house. Or changing their diaper so they know I am there. Loving them, my way
of loving them, in my opinion, means spending time with them. I spend time with them. But loving them,
my way of loving them, is to be the best self that I can be, the happiest I can be, to let them see me fulfilled,
happy, living life and giving the best I can give to others. And that
will teach them more than what I could tell them. So, I think we have to break
the concept of family to interrupt the concept of society. Society does not work. It does not work.
Do whatever you want, you are going to get angry, you will write that I am crazy. I cannot explain
all of this that I am thinking and how breaking out of the mold that we know today works from my point of view in five minutes.
But also, I am not trying to give a solution and
I am not judging you for living as a family. I do not judge, I question. Actually, people
judge me for questioning. It is very different. I accept that you live as a family. I understand
that until today, it is all you know. I did it myself. There is no bad or good. You are not doing badly
and then you will be doing well. I just think that if it does not work out now and you do not have the life
you want, why not move on? Why live as a family? Why live
in a unit that separates? We come from communes. In communes, children were not
educated by a father and a mother who had to work. Dad has to go to make money
and mom has to lose her individuality to educate two children or three or four
however many they have. And at the same time they have to educate them. And the famous 'it is your turn' begins.
It is three in the morning and a child cries and you or mom, dad or mom are going to have to get up.
In a commune, with many adults in different stages of their lives, someone with much
love and desire at that moment will do something for that child. It was usually the grandparents.
Another advantage of living in a commune was that if you do not know which one was really your child...
That is how it used to be. I am not saying that is how we are going to live. But if you did not know which
one was really your child, which one were you going to protect? All of them. And that is the advantage of living in a commune.
When everything belonged to everyone, even the children. They were not yours. We lived in a commune. We lived
n a common agreement. We lived in a community. Not like a divided society. Now your children
are yours, you do not care about your neighbor, you do not care about what happens in Syria. It affects you,
you post on Facebook about it, but you do not know what the heck you can do. And as long as your children are well,
it is okay. The nice thing of a commune as we used to live is that since nothing was yours,
you protected everything. I am not saying that we go back to living in communes, in fact I am just saying
that we take the best from it, the best from a family unity and how we have lived until now,
and we make a new mix. In fact, there are already people who live in a type of commune
as a family. Latinos live very much like that. You live with your grandmother, your uncle is there, your neighbors
are your brothers, your children have a neighbor they can visit and go out to eat
and spend the night and have fun, with that, there are other parents, there are other
uncles, there are other adults who educate them. But your ego, because he is your son,
it bothers you that someone else will educate your children. I see my life the other way around now.
If tomorrow my ex-wife falls in love with someone else and there is another man in her life, and my children
have another dad, nobody will ever replace me, I know that for a fact, but they have another
role model of man in their life, instead of getting jealous, because they are not mine, I deal with that,
I am happy that my children can see another man, another male role model that is not just
me with all my flaws and my traumas and my issues. Another one. And if they had access
to 15, they could learn from that. But living as a family means educating children with
a man, a woman, colliding with each other, having unresolved baggage from their past. And having to survive
and paying bills. Of course it is inconvenient. Again, I am not telling you
to go live in commune tomorrow or that you go knock on your neighbor's door and you all live together. I am telling
you to treat others as if no one belonged to you. To try to get to know your neighbors,
people from another country, as if they were part of you. And to understand that your children and your family
are not yours. To summarize, love should be the only thing used as a measure to be with someone.
And not the color of the skin, last names, whether they are your uncle or not, whether they believe
what you believe or share your religion, whether they live in the same country as you, whether they have the same nationality or not,
why the heck does that matter? Being proud of your nationality is stupid. You did not do anything.
You were spat in a country. Why should I be proud to be born in
one country and segregate myself from others? I like my country's customs, I admire them and enjoy them.
But it does not make me better than someone else. It just separates us. And the same thing happens in the family unit.
Why should I be proud of a last name? Why should I
be proud to be the only one my children turn to look up to? Why not allow openness,
love among many, learning from others, seeing the world of all colors, flavors
and smells, and stop thinking that dad and mom mean the world?
So yes, I think family is the problem. And in addition to family being the problem, the problem is
the fear you have to question how you have lived until today. Understand that
questioning how you have lived until today does not mean that you are disrespecting all the people who have come before you.
It does not mean that you think that your father or your grandfather are wrong. It means to be grateful
or what our ancestors have done, take the best from that, and decide on a new future, and decide
what we want. Why the heck do I have to live like they used to live before, just because
that is how it was like? Today, and I allow myself to be vulnerable and tell you that, I do not live in the same house as the mother
of my children, nor with my children and I love them deeply, we have great times together, we are great friends,
we have a lot in common, we still love each other, we still have a bond,
they are still, under these normal definitions, my family. But at the same time, my family
is the person behind the camera right now, and family is people who live in this same
place where I live. My family is people with whom I can share things at work, my family is
people with whom I sit and share different beliefs. It could be that even someone
who is watching me ends up being my family if I get to know him, he loves me and I love him.
But, in the end, I do not separate myself from people due to race, color, belief, and that unit that
helped us work until today, is killing us. It is polarizing us. And it makes
someone do well and someone do poorly. It makes you take care of some and not take care of others,
it makes you care about yours and not care about others. And the truth is that this goes for very religious people,
isn't it supposed to be that your neighbor is your brother? And also, where does family end and
where does it start? Above you is your grandfather, he is your family, and above him,
isn't he supposed to be your family too? You just did not get to meet him. And above him
is also your family, and above, and above, and above, and above and your great, great, great, great, great
isn't he also your family? All of those people before that, aren't they supposed to be your family?
And couldn't it be that one of your great-grandfathers or great-great grandfathers,
18 generations back, was one of mine's first cousin? And it turns out we are family.
And on the way down, where does your family end? I understand that for legal and practical reasons,
family has been a model, a model that has kept us living in society.
Do not get hung up on the fact that you are doing poorly and I am doing well. Just question
that it is no longer working. And if I could say something very drastic, it is that it would be necessary to eradicate
the concept of family. We should eradicate religions, eradicate
nations, and eradicate everything that separates us. Religions separate,
nations separate, family separates. Do you not like my concepts? Get angry.
In the end, I think I just question. And by saying what I am saying, I do not hate other nations,
I do not judge you because you have a family and love your family, and I do not criticize
you or judge you because of your religion. On the contrary, I love that you think the way you think, I love meeting
people who do not think like me and be able to put ideas in front of them and see where we end up,
what is our best life, what we can change. But if you cling to your beliefs, your religion,
your nationality, and your family for fear of not knowing what may come, you are lost. Dare yourself to do it.
The only thing that will really bring you together is love. And loving in freedom is beautiful.
The rest is owning. This is the longest video I have ever made, because I think it is worth
talking about this in depth, and I could still talk for two hours. Nothing I said
is the absolute truth. I left a lot of things out. I am not criticizing you and I am not
judging you. I need you to open up. And if not, do not follow me. But this is what I think
so that from now on we can move forward. Question everything. I would like you to write
in the comments what you are going to question from now on, how you are going to open your life, what
can change in your life tangibly from questioning how you live as a family, who can
you attract, who can you meet, who can you help, how are you going to free,
how are you going to start to love, what do you dare do to have a better life. But if you stick
to what you have for fear, you are the only one who suffers. And as I always say,
if everything I said is silly, I am stupid, you are right and I let you be right,
I do not have any issues and I do not want to be right. It is all yours. I live in love. I enjoy life.
I have only one life and I do not give a darn what other people think.
That is what I want to happen to you.
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