- Let's face it.
  Deliveries from Amazon make it feel like
  it's Christmas all year round.
  - Ooh, I got a package!
  - But can our favorite online retailer
  give us the gift of fab  when it really counts?
  - A.k.a shopping for formal dresses.
  - [Jen] It's Ladylike  and today we're buying
  formal wear off of Amazon.
  - I pretty much only online shop.
  I don't like to physically go the mall.
  - I've definitely never  bought a formal dress
  off of an online website.
  - When I buy clothes, they  are almost exclusively
  purchased online because they do not sell
  fabulous clothes for me in stores.
  - I'm terrible at shopping  for clothes online.
  My arms are really long,  my torso's really short,
  and my legs just go on for days.
  - I always tell myself like,
  "oh my god this is gonna be so cute,"
  and then half the stuff I buy
  just doesn't fit my boobs  the way that I want it to.
  - I'm usually going for  pants, a sport coat,
  a blazer, maybe a bow tie.
  Usually I do have to go into the store,
  occasionally shop in  the little boy section
  and try and find stuff that fits me.
  - Buying pants is a goddamn nightmare.
  Don't even get me started on dresses
  because like, I will find  like a cute bodycon mini dress
  and I'll get it to me and it  will be like Vaginatown, USA.
  - In my head, Amazon is a  place where you buy home goods.
  Amazon, formal dress, like the two
  don't really go together in my mind,
  so I'm a little worried.
  - Always read customer reviews.
  I am extremely skeptical of  brands I don't know well.
  Here's the thing about Amazon.
  It's sort of the Wild West  junk drawer of brands.
  There are some quality brands there.
  There's also an old man date
  you haven't looked at in 10 years.
  - I buy books on Amazon,  I buy knives on Amazon,
  I buy eye cream on Amazon.
  Amazon doesn't really know  what to recommend to me.
  It's like do you want  this fancy moisturizer
  or do you want this torch?
  - I'll buy anything if I can get it
  shipped to me in two days.
  - Our beautiful manager  and lovely angel, Thesbie,
  is planning a team outing for us
  where we're going to the Magic Castle.
  - What?! We're going to the Magic Castle?
  You bury the lid on this whole video.
  - So we're going to order  formal dresses off of Amazon
  and then wear them to the Magic Castle.
  - [Devin] It's literally  a castle in Hollywood,
  and it's like very old-timey.
  There's all these magicians who are there
  who put on shows and  you can go to this bar
  and there's a ghost that plays the piano.
  - I don't know if you know this about me,
  I fucking love magic.
  - I would love to look like a magician.
  That'd be so fun.
  I hope they think I'm one of their peers.
  - What we're all kind of going for
  are like formal, like  vampy Hollywood type looks.
  You can't fake that.
  - All right, let's shop!
  - Plus vintage dresses.
  - Shout out to anyone whose  save list is like 200 items.
  That's me.
  - Let's just put formal  wear into the search bar
  and see what they come up with.
  I feel like I inherited  the taste of my mother
  which is when it comes  to formal wear I'm like,
  everybody dress like  you're going to a funeral.
  Just so much black.
  - Ooh, I like this mermaid gown.
  They have emerald colors, just my vibe.
  - Oh, I like halters.
  They make my shoulders look nice.
  Ooh, should I get something  with highest slit?
  - I'm seeing a lot of $22,
  so I'm just gonna put prices high to low
  and then we'll scroll down a bit.
  - Formal dresses that cost less than $50
  give me a lot of pause.
  It makes me wonder what  about their construction
  is being skimmed on.
  - Suit for women.
  Swimsuit.
  Nope.
  Ooh, what if they have a tuxedo romper?
  These are all for babies,  tuxedo rompers for babies.
  I do like rompers.
  I think it's 'cause they're flowy.
  They're hard to pee in.
  - Okay, I'm gonna redo my search
  to say formal jumpsuits.
  When I buy jumpsuits, they  either look really, really good,
  or just look like a baby wearing a onesie.
  This one is 15.99.
  Oh should I try to get  something that's a little dippy?
  - [Devin] Yeah, we never  see cleave from you!
  - So I've decided to search for dresses
  that are no cheaper than $50
  'cause I don't wanna get a  dress that's just gonna be like,
  it's four plastic bags,  and there's a rat inside.
  - There's a $3,500 dress.
  I could get an LED wedding dress?
  "Be the first to review this item."
  Well no shit no one's bought that.
  - I thought I was ready  to buy and then I realized
  that some of these dresses  look very different
  on the Amazon models than they do
  on the people who actually  bought the dresses
  and sent in photos for reviews.
  I just don't know what to expect.
  I don't like to be deceived.
  - So I have 1
  2,
  3,
  4,
  5 options.
  - I kinda want this.
  I don't know if it runs in my size.
  I don't think this is gonna fit me.
  - No, I don't want a swimsuit.
  Maybe I'll just get that romper.
  There's only one review.
  - I think I like that one.
  Typically don't do this strapless thing,
  so let's try this out.
  Usually my default is to go to extra small
  if they don't offer number sizes.
  - The yellow is really fun actually.
  Such booty!  - Much booty.
  - I don't have that much juice!
  - Let's see if $100 to $150  gets a little bit easier here.
  - I don't know if I should do
  the red dress or the apricot one.
  I kinda like apricot,  I think it will be nice
  on my skin tone.
  - So we've picked a yellow jumpsuit
  that doesn't have any reviews.
  Realizing a little bit that  I don't quite know my sizes.
  - There is no standard size chart
  because every single  brand has a different idea
  as to what their size measurements are.
  - I'm like nowhere near finding something
  that I'm even excited about.
  So I'm just going to put a pin in this,
  and circle back and find  a dress later tonight.
  - I found a dress!
  I'm still a little  skeptical about this dress,
  but maybe it's cute, we don't know.
  - So this dress is $58.
  Hopefully it's all that  it's cracked up to be
  'cause it looks great on these models.
  - It costs 23 dollars and 99 cents.
  Hopefully I have enough  booty to fill it out.
  - There are two reviews.
  "Be aware the entire  bodice is see-through"
  "With only two round cups  to cover the breast."
  Let's just do it.
  - Added to cart.
  I am very excited.
  Can't wait to get my maybe  fitting tuxedo suit romper.
  - So the dress in the color that I want...
  It's sold out.
  - It's okay.  (dramatic music)
  - Why would they show it  to me and it not be there?
  What I'm gonna do is I'm  just gonna get a size small.
  Hopefully it fits, if not  I'm gonna get it tailored.
  Let's see if Amazon can deliver.
  (trippy music)
  - So we're going to the  Magic Castle tonight
  but we haven't tried on our dresses yet.
  So we gotta try these on.
  The Magic Castle actually has  a really strict dress code.
  The women have to wear dresses or skirts.
  - If they are wearing pants,
  it has to be not denim and  they need to have a blazer.
  Hopefully these sizes are accurate enough
  that we can fit into them  and feel like it's working
  and we can wear it to this  very dress code-y event.
  - I'm getting naked!
  - We also don't have a curtain,
  so we're just gonna hide  behind racks of clothes
  and try to film what's happening.
  - Wow!
  Feels like a life preserver  was just handed to me.
  Devin, you gotta come out.  - No.
  - Devin...  - It's a little...
  - [Kristin] Oh.
  - When I got it I was like,
  "Wow, this looks teeny tiny."
  It's a little too much.
  - [Kristin] Turn around,  do it from the back.
  Okay from the back it's actually...
  Oh wow I can see, it's like...
  - I have to not wear underwear with it.
  I thought it was gonna be like down here.
  Why is this entire leg out?
  Like am I gonna need to lunge?
  The cut comes up to here and my vagina
  is just a little bit far west.
  - [Kristin] Pull it down  a little bit actually.
  So now there's less gapping.
  - I don't think I bought  this in the incorrect size
  because these feel like they're  about to slide off my chest.
  - [Kristin] I think you look really good.
  I mean, the material does  kinda look like a seatbelt.
  - I'm definitely strapped in.
  It's my first time trying  on a bandage dress.
  Where are my boobs supposed to go?
  Are they supposed to go here?
  - [Kristin] That's actually  where they're supposed to go,
  you figured it out.
  - The problem is I don't  think they'll stay here.
  My boobs are like your boobs Kristen,
  where they both look to East to West.
  - I opened my dress and it was  like a prom piñata exploded.
  It came in a tiny package  and it was like those
  little dinosaur sponges  that you pour water on
  and all of a sudden they're like...
  (explosion noises)
  But I tried this on and  it fit like, perfectly.
  I am a beautiful princess.
  It makes my tits look fantastic.
  These are the golden globes right here.
  This dress is like, who is she?
  There is a big difference  between my dress and your dress.
  - What party are we going to?
  - A lot of the little  gems keep flipping over.
  So every so often I have  to go through and be like,
  "Nope, shiny side up."
  These are not real jewels, I  keep the real jewels at home.
  I don't, I have no jewels.
  Don't rob me.
  - When I initially was  going to order the dress,
  I was gonna order it in an extra small,
  but they didn't have an extra  small so I ordered a small.
  Lo and behold, it fit me perfectly.
  It actually is very tight.
  I probably could have used  a medium, to be honest.
  You absolutely can't wear  underwear with this dress.
  You just gotta go bare bodied underneath,
  which I'm fine with.
  I can move around, like  I actually don't feel
  constricted at all even  though it is really tight,
  it's very stretchy.
  I like, never wear really tight things.
  The way I'm standing right now
  just shows you how uncomfortable  I am in a bodycon dress.
  I just feel like I just  want no one to look at me.
  I think it looked exactly the way it did
  in the photo as it did on my body.
  - [Kristin] I don't wanna say do a spin
  'cause that's kind of a creepy phrase
  but like...  - Oh, no!
  - [Kristin] Fred, you  look really beautiful.
  - Thank you Kristin!
  - I feel like a penguin.
  - [Kristin] What's going on over here?
  - First of all, I don't understand,
  how am I supposed to get into the neck?
  - [Kristin] Wait, do you need help?
  - When I put it on, it was  clear that it was one piece,
  so sort of like a bathing suit.
  I should have known that  this would have been an issue
  before I purchased it,  but I wasn't thinking.
  I look like a magician.
  I don't even need to see  myself, I already fucking know.
  I don't think I can do this.
  How am I supposed to get in the hole?
  - [Kristin] Oh, it's a collar.
  - Take your arms out
  and move this to the front.
  - I assumed that this would be really easy
  to wear a shirt underneath this one piece.
  But in reality, it's built for you
  to be bare chested  underneath the one piece
  and it's supposed to be like kinda sexy.
  I don't wanna do that.
  When I tried to wear a shirt  underneath the one piece,
  it was bunchy and it got caught.
  The buttons on this garment are like,
  pretty cheaply applied,  but the nice thing is
  it's right where all  four of my nipples are,
  so I'll never forget.
  - There's a lot happening  on this jumpsuit.
  When I sit, it goes into my neck.
  - Fun!  - So that's a good thing.
  It's like super transparent.
  That's what it looks like on me.
  It's like, I've never worn  a jumpsuit that's so tight
  and spandex.  - And sheer.
  - And sheer.  - And yellow.
  - And bright yellow!  - It's a lot of first for you.
  - When I put it on, I just  look like one of those little
  inflatable men that flies  around a car dealership.
  - [Kristin] It's a nice  color on you though.
  - Thank you.
  I would need like a nude  colored seamless underwear,
  and like substantial pasties and stuff
  because it's just...
  I had no idea it was gonna be this thin.
  Usually my stuff is tighter,
  it's a little bit thicker
  like these bandage dresses.
  And I don't want everyone to  see my little stripe undies.
  Not tonight.
  - [Kristin] So Devin,  are you gonna wear yours?
  - I'll wear mine, but I'm  wearing mine with this jacket.
  There's just a little bit  too much potential slippage.
  - [Kristin] And Fred,  you're gonna wear yours.
  - I'm wearing mine.
  - Jen, are you wearing yours?  - Imma think about it.
  - And you're a no?  - I don't have the means
  to wear this dress right now.  - I think that's fair.
  - I did bring an alternate jumpsuit
  so that I could stay in  the jumpsuit universe,
  but that's what I'll wear tonight.
  - We're here getting ready to go at work.
  Kristin's going to her debutante ball.
  I'm going to Kim  Kardashian's birthday party.
  Okay, we're here at the Magic Castle.
  All dressed up.
  Looking fancy.
  - Look at my look!
  Oop, oop oop.  (record scratch)
  Just gonna shimmy in this mirror.
  Look at these fancy ladies
  getting ready for a night  of wonder and mystery.
  - Magic castle!
  - Spooky!  - Spooky!
  We're not allowed to take photos or videos
  while we're in there, so  this is the only proof
  that we are wearing our...
  Disco ball boobs!
  - The magic castle was great.
  We got to magic, we looked nice.
  I had some issues 'cause  apparently my shoes
  weren't formal enough, but they let me in.
  All in all, very fun night.
  - I'll tell you, walking  around the magic castle,
  I kinda felt...
  Exposed?
  I was always putting my  jacket in front of me.
  It was really cold, so I was  worried about feeling nipply.
  Also, we had a nice dinner.
  When you're wearing a tight dress
  and you're trying to eat a nice meal,
  it feels like you're trying to put
  russet potatoes in a tube sock.
  - I didn't wear my jumpsuit  to the Magic Castle.
  It was just not the time nor the place.
  - I ended up not wearing my  outfit to the Magic Castle.
  I think I didn't realize what  type of material it would be.
  I don't know if this would even qualify
  as like that formal of an outfit.
  - First of all, this thing is very long.
  Every time I had to go anywhere,
  I had to like hitch up my skirts
  like I was one of the evil  step sisters in Cinderella.
  Why do they walk like that?
  Both the evil stepsisters,
  they like, walk with like  their butts shoved out,
  and they're like...
  Also while in the Magic  Castle, I was just like,
  "I am the most overdressed of anyone here"
  "And it's not even close."
  - When I wore it on our team outing,
  I wore it with a fur shawl/ overcoat.
  That made me feel a lot more  comfortable in the dress
  because it was very  bodycon, it was very tight,
  you could see every crevice and cranny.
  That's not how I roll, typically.
  So I would wear the dress again,
  but only with a shawl of some type.
  - If I ever need a fuck you dress,
  I can just whip this little bad boy out,
  put on some heels, and  a dark lip and say...
  (tongue click)
  - This isn't a bad article of clothing,
  I just wanted it to be  something that it wasn't.
  We did look on Amazon for a long time
  for something that would  make me feel comfortable
  and felt like it could be a little bit
  more masculine and formal.
  I think this kinda just  speaks to how difficult it is
  to find convenient and affordable options
  if you are someone who wants to
  present a little bit more masculinely.
  - Buying on Amazon is not the problem,
  this particular piece of  clothing is the problem.
  But I can't knock it  because it was dirt cheap
  and I didn't have to go anywhere.
  - I think you get what you pay  for when it comes to Amazon.
  You might wanna pay a little  bit more for peace of mind.
  - Beautiful color, I  definitely wanna get more
  of this color, I know that now.
  - I may be really old  school, but I kinda like
  having my shopping compartmentalized.
  ASOS and Zara are where I buy clothes.
  Amazon is where I buy  electronics and cat food.
  So I think I might stick to that.
  - I would order a dress off Amazon again.
  Somehow, this went really well.
  This is an amazing plus size prom option.
  Honestly this is way better than the dress
  I wore to my prom.
  - I would absolutely buy a  formal dress on Amazon again.
  Sometimes money is tight, and so is time.
  Like there are a lot of last  minute events that come up
  and if you have Amazon Prime,
  you can get those dresses in a jiffy.
  - Well I'm gonna go take this off
  in favor of putting on  something way more comfortable.
  (upbeat music)  - We've got merch!
  - Click here to buy it!
  - Spoons!  - Spoons!
  - Spoons!
  - [All] Spoons...
     
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