R-E-S-P-E-C-T? N-A-H F-A-M
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[Intro Music. Vincent Tone - New Summits]
Hi guys, in today's video I am going to talk about rude doctors, verbally abusive
doctors and more specifically towards those with Chronic Illnesses. Before we
get into the video please be sure to give this video a thumbs up, please be
sure to subscribe to my channel if you like what I make, and check out my social
media links in the description below so you can follow me on Instagram and
Twitter. I am making this video because I believe things need to change
I don't think doctors should be able to treat their patients a certain way, and
patients should not come out of an exam room or doctors office crying because
the doctor has said something that is verbally abusive and just downright
wrong. I think there needs to be a better code of conduct and patients need to
feel like they can report doctors without being labeled as troublesome
patients. Patients need to be protected from this type of behavior and I don't
believe that is happening. If you have a Chronic Illness or Disability then you
probably know 100% what I am talking about, because I am certain that all of
us with a Chronic Illness and Disability have probably experienced it.
When you have a Chronic Illness or Disability you tend to go to a lot of
doctors appointments, you have no choice, you're sick and you need answers. And
sadly it is actually quite rare to meet a doctor who is very caring, and a doctor
that is compassionate, is patient, and actually listens to their patient.
There is very, very few good doctors left in this world. Most doctors I have
encountered have been very rude, they've been ignorant,
they've been arrogant, they've been dismissive, and they've also been
verbally abusive at times, and sadly this is quite common for many people
with Chronic Illnesses and Disabilities. There are a few different types of
behaviors doctors usually exhibit, and I've kind of put these guys and gals
into different categories based on their behavior.
The first one is dismissive, and this is probably the most common one. This kind
of behavior frequently occurs in ERs, or walk-in clinics, and sometimes even a
specialist. Usually how this goes is you will tell the doctor about your symptoms
and they kind of seem to listen, and you think they are listening. They might
check your weight and do a bit of a physical exam, and go over your medical
records with you. But this is where it turns you sour. If you have cramps, nausea,
or stomach pain they almost always atribute it to constipation, a possible
pregnancy, or just unexplainable pain that you just have to wait it out. If you
are in pain in your body then they just give you the entire - 'think positive',
'ignore the pain', 'enjoy life', 'push through it', 'it can't be that bad',
or to exercise more and don't come back - and don't come back again asking for
pain relief. And then usually within there there's usually a referral to
mental health and not pain management services. And with a lot of other
different symptoms there's a lot of doctors just telling you to just ignore
it and get on with life. They just completely dismiss you. I understand that
your job is hard and they encounter a lot of patients in the run of the day,
they can't always send for tests if they think it's just something common and
simple, but this is also how errors are made. It could turn out to be something
much more serious like appendicitis, or that person who's in Chronic Pain could
be experiencing the worst pain of their life, and then they feel absolutely let
down and even more depressed because of the pain that they're in. So usually
you're sent home and the next day you go to another doctor where they tell you
that whatever you have say a case of appendicitis should have been picked
up on the first visit to the hospital. I think it is also much more common for
women and women of color to be dismissed, and this isn't just me saying this
there's actual study showing that is much more common for
women's pain and their concerns and symptoms to not be believed. The next
type of doctor is the "I can't be bothered" / "I already have my mind made
up about you" doctor. This is a bit worse than the dismissive doctor because these
doctors are usually really, really arrogant a-holes who think they know
absolutely everything. And I think this is kind of split into two separate types of
doctors. The "I can't be bothered" doctor will sometimes I listen to you when you
talk about your symptoms and your concerns, often they will look at your
chart beforehand and read a bit of history before you come in. This is
especially common if you have pain of any kind, and they will usually tell you
that it's all in your head, that your pain is either caused by depression,
anxiety, or you have a psychosomatic illness and you're just - your brain is
basically just making your pain up because you have a mental illness. And
honestly most doctors just say this stuff just to get you out of their hair
quicker. This is one of those diagnosis where if you're a patient that goes to
the hospital a lot and you see of lot of doctors eventually they will label you
with this diagnosis of either depression, having a psychosomatic illness just
to get you out and away, and basically to label you as being a hypochondriac. So
oftentimes they will refer you to mental health, and in my case sometimes your
family doctor won't even tell you if you are going to a psychologist - which has
happened on more than one occasion with me. The "I already have my mind made up about you"
doctor will often do this as well, but usually without even listening to your
symptoms. And I will tell you it's usually men who have done this, they will
read your chart and have their mind made up before you even tell them about your
symptoms. So they'll just slap you with the diagnosis of it's all in your head.
They just want you out quicker. The "I already have my mind made up about
you" doctor will also accuse you of faking your illness. Often they will
say that you're faking being sick for attention, they will send you for a drug
test because they think you're on drugs, they will make sure you get a pregnancy
test done, they will accuse you of being drug-seeker, and they will tell you that
you're wasting everyone's time by coming here. These are all things that I have
gotten from this type of doctor. They will tell you that nothing is wrong with
you and that you're not even sick enough to be in the hospital to be seeing a doctor.
And even on some occasions these type of doctors will outright refuse to see you.
Yeah, so these types of doctors are probably ones that I have the most
experience with because these are the ones I just - I just come across so
many different times. And this type of doctor is why I don't have much trust, or
much faith in doctors. And honestly this is why I avoid going to the emergency
room, or the hospital, or the doctor at all costs. They make you feel like a worthless
piece of subhuman crap. This is also a very problematic type of doctor and I
think one that can really influence the way you think about yourself. When you have a
doctor telling you that the pain you're experiencing is just all in your head,
it's made up, you're faking it for attention - um, then once you get those
things told to you by doctors sometimes you start to doubt yourself, and you
start to wonder - "am I really faking it?", "Am I making this up?", "Could this - is this
even real?" - You go through those sort of thoughts and it does take a while to
kind of realize that you're not making it up, um this is a real illness and not a
psychosomatic illness. Basically these type of doctors had me wondering
whether or not I was actually sick, and they had me doubting my very real
illness and my very real symptoms that were happening to me on a daily basis.
This can and will be a traumatizing experience for many when they encounter
this type of doctor. The next one is the arrogant doctor, or the doctor that
thinks they know everything. This is a type of doctor that will tell you that
it's impossible to get Lyme Disease in Nova Scotia, even though there are many
documented cases. This is also the type of doctor that will
tell you that going for a walk will cure your pain. This is also the type of doctor
that will tell you, you don't need a wheelchair because your pain is not real.
This is also the type of doctor that will tell you that you should be going to
school no matter how bad you feel. This is also the type of doctor that will go
out of their way to force you to do a treatment that you know won't work. This
is also the type of doctor that would tell you that you're not trying hard
enough. This is also the type of doctor that makes
you feel like absolute crap. This is also the type of doctor that is very
problematic for a number of reasons. And this behavior seems to mostly come from
white male doctors. I have experienced this with women as well, and some people of
color but it seems to mostly be from white males.
I hate arrogant people, and I think a lot of people do, but I think arrogance seems
to be a qualification among many doctors, which just flabbergasts me. They have
this "I know everything, about everything" attitude, and you can't actually know
anything because you're not a doctor, you're just a patient. But if you have Lyme
Disease you would know that most doctors don't know
anything about Lyme Disease and it's actually a very DIY disease, same as Chronic
Pain. They have this "I know everything and you know nothing" attitude even
though you're the one that is living with these chronic symptoms, and you're
the one that's sick, and you're the one that has to live with the symptoms that
are within your body. You can't tell these type of doctors anything because
they think they know what is best, and they think that you don't know what's
best for your body. The next type of doctor is the verbally abusive doctor.
Now I think all of the previous doctors that I mentioned could fall under this
category, but sometimes there are just some doctors who are definitely verbally
abusive, and they don't even care that what they're saying could possibly
negatively impact your mental health - especially when you're already going
through an illness and you don't know what's going on, it's absolutely - it's not
fun thing to experience. I know that maybe some people might think of a bit
dramatic for including this type of doctor, but this is a doctor that some
of us with Chronic Illness do come across occasionally. There are doctors that will
tell you that you are crazy, that your illness does not exist, that you're not
sick - you're faking your illness, and seeking attention, or you're lying about
your illness or symptoms. They will tell you that you're not experiencing
physical pain but psychosomatic pain. They will blame your parents for making you
ill and grill your mother about her Chronic Illnesses because apparently I
want to be just like my mom, and eventually you'll sit there and you will
both be diagnosed with psychosomatic illnesses. This is also a very true story
that happened to me - so I will leave a link to that video in the description
below. I'm sure there are probably more very extreme cases out there where a
doctor verbally and very loudly yells at you, it is certainly not unheard of in the
Chronic Illness and Disability community, and there are doctors out there that are
real bullies. I think that when a doctor tells you that it's all in your head, and
tells you that you have a psychosomatic illness and not a physical
one, and they say it so much that you start to doubt yourself - then I think
that counts as being verbally abusive and emotionally abusive as well, and it
can actually be manipulative behavior because they're trying to convince you
that you're not experiencing real physical symptoms - they're just trying to
get you away quicker. In closing i think doctors need to be held more
accountable for their absolutely atrocious behavior that they do project
onto their patients a lot of the time - especially when they say so many of
these damaging, abusive and just horrible things. Some of the things that
they say to their patients will have lifelong effects on the mental health of
their patients. Their patients will doubt themselves, and they are affected by
their words. When you have something said to you like 'you're faking your illness',
or you have a psychosomatic illness, or whatever
Illness you're experiencing isn't real - then it makes dealing with Chronic health
conditions a thousand times harder, and this can certainly affect your quality
of life and your mental health. And these kinds of things makes it so much more
harder for patients to trust their doctors, and it makes it harder to go to
the hospital and ask for help - and then when we do, and we experience,
and we encounter one of these doctors - we go through all of the things that ever
happened to us with verbally abusive and negligent doctors all over again. So I
think the behavior of these doctors is adding an unneeded emotional trauma to
patients. And let me tell you this is not an uncommon experience for many people
with Chronic Illnesses and Disabilities - it's so much more common than you might
think. I think patients should be able to
report doctors when they spout these kinds of abusive behaviors without fear of
being reprimanded. I don't think that a doctor who is not qualified to hand out
a mental health diagnosis should be able to do so based on the fact that they
think you're depressed, or they think you have a psychosomatic illness. I think
only a specialist should be able to diagnose you with that. It gets thrown
around so much within the Chronic Illness community that so many of us are
diagnosed with psychosomatic illnesses when we have real physical illnesses. I
didn't report many of my experiences because I knew if I did then I would be
labeled as a problematic patient. For so many years I was told by so many doctors
that I was faking it, I was either depressed, or I had a psychosomatic
illness. For some reason a lot of doctors seem to think that psychosomatic
illnesses are quite common - they're actually not. I really hope that at some
point doctors will hear us and there will be change created, because that is
what patients really need. I no longer want to worry when I go to the hospital
on whether or not I will actually be given adequate treatments for either
my pain, my nausea, or if the doctor is going to treat me like I am not even human.
I hope you guys enjoyed this video. In the comments below I want to know what type
of experiences have you had with doctors? What was your worst experience? And have
doctors harsh words ever made you question whether you were sick
or not? I'm also currently taking video suggestions, so if there's a video that
you would like to see me make, please be sure to leave a suggestion in the
comments below and I'll be sure to add it to my list of views to make.
Thank you for watching this video. Please be sure to give it a thumbs up, Subscribe
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notified when I upload new videos. All my social media links will be in the
description below, and I hope to see you guys next time, bye!
[Outro Music. Vincent Tone - New Summits]
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