[Announcer:] Welcome to The Painting Experience  podcast for June 2015. On the podcast
  founder Stewart Cubley explores the  potential of the emerging field of
  process arts and shares inspiration from  his ongoing workshops and retreats.
  This time  Stewart talks about why we're encouraged
  not to cover things up in our process  paintings, about finding the satisfaction
  that comes from accepting what shows up  in a painting and following it through to the end.
  [Stewart:] In the last podcast, I spoke  about not commenting on each other's
  paintings in the painting workshops. And  today I'd like to talk about not
  covering, not changing, not turning a  painting -- and at first blush this may
  feel like, gosh there's a lot of "nots"  here, what are all these "nots," not do
  this, not do that, and what does that have  to do with creative freedom and painting
  for process. But actually it's the other  way around -- these "nots" are actually big
  "yeses" And they're yeses to the process  of painting, the serendipity of painting,
  the unexpected nature of painting. So let  me explain a little bit:
  What is covering, actually?
  This often occurs at a certain  point in the painting, you're painting
  along and some area of the painting is  disturbing you a little bit and you feel
  like, you know, I don't want that, there's  something not right about that. So our
  first impulse of course is to cover it  up, change it, get rid of it, obliterate it,
  redo it, do something that that's going  to make it better. And this is very
  natural of course but if we look a  little deeper we realize that there's
  another way to respond here.  It's very natural to want to make the
  painting look better, that's our first  response and of course this comes out of
  the more habitual way of approaching  painting and art which is more of a fine
  arts perspective, it's more of a product  oriented perspective, and of course we
  want a nice painting. We want it to look  good. We want it to please us, we want it
  to somehow fulfill our intention. And so  it feels very natural when it's not
  going in that direction to cover  something up and redo it. But from the
  perspective of process arts which is a  very different intention which is using
  the tools of painting not for product  but for self exploration, for
  self-reflection and for insight. Then we  need a different approach because that
  which appears and perhaps does not  please us and perhaps does feel out of
  place and disturbs us to some degree has  shown up. After all, we painted it. Where
  did it come from? It's not something  extraneous that's imposed itself in our
  world. I mean, we did it. We painted it. So  the real question is do we respect that?
  Do we meet that? Do we get intrigued by  the fact that that's appeared and learn
  to read that disturbance in a different  type of way. In a way in which we don't
  cover to get rid of it and in a way in  which we don't alter it or obliterate it
  but that we use it and that we look  under the surface a little bit and
  realize that that disturbing feeling  that's coming up about that area of the
  painting is actually a call. And there's  a way of working with it that will enter
  that rather than cover that or  obliterate that.
  Now, this is really not so easy to bring into practice because we want a nice painting. I mean that's
  kind of the ego stance, right? And it goes quite deep because a
  nice painting means a nice painter. We  identify with the product that we're
  creating and to have something that we  don't like challenges the very sense
  of ourselves on some level and so this  is not small change we're dealing with.
  But there is an opportunity to relate to  this in a different way
  and when someone comes to that point  where their impulse would be to cover
  something up  -- or they'll often start  doing it and I'll observe them doing it.
  There will be an appropriate time in  which I'll approach them about that and
  I must say, I often don't do this in the  beginning of a workshop because I don't
  want to alienate that person I mean I  have to develop a relationship. There has
  to be some trust, there has to be some  water under the bridge, the person has to
  feel like they're not being judged and  they're not being coerced or manipulated,
  that there's a deep trust in their own  internal investigation. And if that's
  established then the person is more open  to hear what I might have to say about
  covering and not take it as though  there's something wrong but for that
  person to feel like we're on the same  side. And so I might approach that person
  at that point and question the feelings  that are going on underneath the desire
  to cover and the action of covering. And  usually, as I say, there is some sort of
  judgment going on and there's some sort  of disturbance and we haven't really
  been educated how to relate to that  so our first impulse is get rid of, don't
  like, cover it up, change the color, redo  the image, whatever form it takes.
  Or sometimes just take that painting off  the wall. But if we don't cover, if and in
  fact we have a stance in which we accept  whatever arises
  and we deem as sacred what shows up and  the very fact that we painted it and it
  came out of the tip of our brush takes  more weight than any kind of aesthetic
  judgment that we would have about it. And  so we begin to develop a different kind
  of relationship in which we are no  longer so much in control. Because the
  desire to cover and to change and to  maybe reorient the painting and turn the
  painting to a different orientation are  all ways in which we're trying to
  control the outcome, we're trying to  fulfill a certain intention that may be
  more or less clear to us but we are  trying to fulfill some internal idea.
  And therefore we're more in control of the  situation we're trying to make it fit
  our idea. Whereas if we don't do that we  metaphorically paint ourselves into a
  corner because it means then that  whatever shows up we have to stick with
  and whatever shows up is not something  we can get rid of but we have to work
  with and it doesn't mean we have to stop  painting -- sometimes people think well if
  I have to not cover anything I painted  then I can't paint once I get paint on
  the paper, but, no, that's not the case.  There's a way of adding to what's there
  which is very different than changing.  For example sometimes people say you
  know, this whole area here that I painted  in orange it shouldn't be orange
  I was actually kind of asleep when I  painted the orange I was just not
  present and therefore I'm gonna change  it to blue.
  We have all sorts of great
  justifications for why we wanted to have  it our way and sometimes people will say
  that to me. And so they'll change the  whole area to blue and, of course, that's
  covering. That orange that was there is  now gone. There is a different way to
  relate to that, that if that orange was  disturbing you and therefore calling you,
  you could have blue dots in the orange,  you could have blue flames coming out of
  the orange, you could have a blue baby in  the middle of the orange -- who knows
  what --  there could be something that would  be a way of respecting the orange and
  yet moving forward in the painting not  getting rid of -- adding vs. covering.
  And this creates a very different  relationship to the creative process
  because we then begin to respect the  serendipity. We then begin to be
  intrigued by that which arises  spontaneously, that which comes unbidden
  that's not a function of the product-  oriented ego,
  that's not our control
  making happen. We begin to develop a  different relationship to that part of
  the psyche which underlies our lives in  a very, very profound way and of course
  is there outside of the painting process  as well. And the painting process becomes
  a way of tapping into that, of  acknowledging that, of moving with that
  and allowing that to penetrate us more  deeply because it's without conflict.
  The need to change a painting to make it fit  our idea and to to meet our preference
  is conflict laden, it turns us in knots  and once we cover once it's not good
  enough then: we have to cover it again or  we have to redo the image six times, we
  cover that nose 18 million times and  it's still not good enough and finally
  say to hell with it. It just leads down a  road of increased conflict and so
  there's something challenging but  incredibly natural and conflict-free and
  once we begin to be intrigued by the  serendipity and to respect the
  serendipity and to go with it. And then  the painting becomes a truly unknown
  journey in which we are no longer trying  to make it to fit our specifications but
  we're open to the flow that is coming  out of us and there's an intelligence in
  this flow that we then have the ability  to start perceiving. Once we stop
  controlling we can then begin to sense, wow, there's more going on here than I
  realized.  And these so called spontaneous images
  are not random at all. They're not  rational;
  they don't fit any kind of rationality  and and, very often, any kind of story
  that I try to tell about them to connect  the dots in the painting seems only half
  satisfying because it's rather made-up.  But there's an intelligence in it which
  I can sense through the experience of it,  I can sense through the unfolding of it,
  and I can sense by the fact that it  brings me insight into my life in ways
  that could never have happened if I had  just gone with a story of the painting
  or the aesthetic of the painting. These  doors will open up for us once we are
  willing to give up control and willing  to have a profound respect for that
  which shows up and so this is why the  so-called "rules" -- not covering and not
  changing and and not reorienting your  painting -- are really big yeses. They're
  ways of saying yes to that part of  ourselves that we're trying to develop
  the respect for and by reorienting, which  I haven't spoken of so much, I mean
  sometimes there's an urge to turn the  painting in a different orientation . . . here
  you've started something and it's gone  along to a certain degree and then I see
  somebody take the painting off the wall  and turn it 90 degrees or 180 degrees
  and usually when that happens it's  interesting to explore what's going on
  there, usually the person has reached a  stopping point of some sort; they're a
  little bored perhaps, they don't see  where to go next,
  they don't have an inspiration for  moving on and there's the thought that
  well if I change the orientation I'll  see it in a different perspective
  and then I'll be able to go forward. And  again this is partially true if you do
  change the orientation of the painting  of course you will have a different
  perspective; it's kind of fun  to see it differently but something is
  lost in that, there's something about  standing in the integrity of the way
  things show up including the orientation.  There's something about being willing to
  stand in the not knowing of what to do  next and let that come from a deeper
  place in oneself other than a trick of  turning the painting and doing something
  externally, having it come from a place  internally. And so these are ways in
  which you can learn to fulfill the  purpose and, I would say, the promise of
  process painting. Which is deep respect,  honoring the way things arise, following
  things to the end as they arise,  continuing to work with them and listen
  to them and not imposing on the painting  that it has to meet some criterion that
  you've decided upon. In doing this, you  really shift internally to a different
  part of yourself. Sometimes I say it's  getting out of your own way.
  It's allowing a deeper stream to be the  one that's guiding the process and this
  is incredibly satisfying. We get a  certain satisfaction, of course, from
  getting a painting that we like, we also  get a certain satisfaction from covering
  up stuff that we don't like and getting  rid of it and these are very short-term
  satisfactions; they're also very shaky  satisfactions because you may paint a
  painting that you like after having  really worked hard on it to get it like
  you want it and then somebody can come  along and make a comment on it and you
  can feel devastated and your whole  perception of the painting changes:
  you're not sure you like it anymore.  Those satisfactions are quite shaky,
  whereas when you learn the deeper  satisfaction of accepting what shows up
  and going with it, you're standing on a  very solid ground. You're not so
  vulnerable to what other people think  about it, you've already been willing to
  go beyond what you think about it and so  what other people think about it is
  really not so important after all.  There's a deeper ground in which you
  touch and a deeper ground in which you stand. This is really the purpose of process painting.
  [Announcer:] You can learn more  about The Painting Experience and find a
  list of upcoming process painting workshops
  by visiting our website at www.processarts.com.
  If you enjoyed what you heard today please  share it with a friend. The theme music
  for this podcast comes from Stephan  Jacob. We thank you for listening and
  hope you'll join us again soon.
     
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