♪ ♪
Roger: I deliver bread, so people need their bread fairly
early, so I usually get to the bakery 3:30 or 4:00 in the
morning, load my truck, and then I go out on my route and do
whatever I have to do that day which could be--usually it's
minimum ten hours.
Sometimes it's up to 15 or 16 hours.
I'm kind of lucky, I think, where I work.
It's a family business.
They've--I've been there a long time now, and they do care about
Heather.
They do care about us, you know?
So they--they understand, but I know it has caused a lot of
grief, right?
It puts me in bad situations a lot.
Like, when I have to do stuff for Heather.
Sometimes I feel guilty about having to call in, right?
Even though I know I have to, you know?
♪ ♪
- Hey Roger. - Roger: Hey Mike.
- Good to see ya. - Roger: You too.
Isn't it a little cold for shorts?
[Mike and Roger laugh]
- Roger: Not in here. - Mike [laughing]: No?
Well, I'm excited to get to make a story with you.
Roger: Yeah, me too.
Mike: This is going to be cool.
What I really want to know a little bit more about is
what--what's your story in all of this?
What's your experience of this?
We were just starting out, right?
We just got married.
Basically just had a kid when her dad got sick.
That kind of took a little time off.
You know, she was looking after her dad for--until he passed.
And then right after that, she got sick.
So, it's really--our whole life goal and our life plan got
thrown out the window, right?
Thyroid cancer is supposed to be one of the easiest ones to deal
with, and it didn't end up being that way with her.
Then she just started getting on her feet with that about a year
and a half after, and then she got diagnosed with uterine
cancer.
She had a full hysterectomy, and since then, she's had three more
surgeries because of that.
It's just been a constant thing, since about 2009.
It's almost like another full-time job when I get home.
So Shawna's been aware and as involved as she can be for her
age since the beginning of it, right?
She can't remember Heather not being sick, so- she takes care of
Heather just like I do, right?
Shawna: I would have never guessed the kitchen.
[chuckles]
How--
That's why you didn't win, huh?
[everyone laughs]
Roger: You know, I know Heather has a lot of guilt about Shawna
having to do this, and she--and a lot of other things, but
that's a big deal for her.
I feel guilty about it too.
And I've been told that sometimes I just gotta let
things be.
Like, you can't fix everything.
You just have to kind of sit back and let them happen, right?
Mike: Has that sort of guilty feeling--how has that affected
your guys' relationship?
Roger: There's been times where she's tried to push me away,
like over the years because of it.
Mike: Yeah.
Roger: Like, you know, she--and a lot of the time where she
figures we'd be better off without her.
That's a big thing, you know?
Mike: Hmm.
Roger: Which isn't true at all.
Mike: So the guilt--that guilty feeling has influenced your
relationship?
Roger: Oh, for sure it has, yeah.
Mike: Yeah.
[laughing]
This one is awesome.
- Love that one. - Roger: 1992.
- 1992. - Roger: New Year's.
[Mike laughs]
Mike: Or do you like this one better?
Roger: I like the 1992 one better, probably.
Mike: OK.
♪ ♪
So now--now that you've sort of seen what it's going to look
like, how do you feel about it?
You know, I don't like being the centre of attention, so I'm a
little apprehensive about it.
But yeah, it should be good.
I know all this, you know, it's not--like you said, you don't
want the focus to be on you, but I think it's a really important
story to share, so--
- Yeah. - Mike: Yeah.
♪ ♪
Roger: I've thought of it.
Hey, I should start to get rid of it like Mom and see what
she went through.
Hello!
- Heather: Hi! - Woman 2: Hi.
Roger: You're taller than Mike.
- She's taller than me. - Roger: She is.
Mike: Let's see.
Let's make it official.
Come on.
Let's see.
I also don't have boots, so that's going to be a problem.
Mike: Is it official?
- Roger: It's official. - Man: Official.
Dang it.
[laughs]
- Yeah, that's everyone? - I believe that's it.
Mike: Alright.
Should we get going then?
- Sure. - Mike: Let's do it.
Hey, everybody, let's all head into the living room.
We're going to get going on the story.
[everyone laughing]
And you guys, as part of Heather and Roger's, you know, closer
sort of friends and family and support network, hopefully it
will be great to hear a bit of Roger's story so you guys can
continue to support them.
Which I think you've all done in a pretty incredible way.
Alright, here we go.
Roger's Story.
♪ ♪
Heather: Hi Rog.
Did you get some news today?
- I did. - Heather: What was it?
Flames are winning!
Yeah!
And you're pregnant.
♪ ♪
Roger [narrating]: I've always loved sports.
Especially the interviews where the players said the same ten
lines no matter what questions they're asked.
"Just gotta get more pucks to the net."
"Was in the right place at the right time."
"Our compete level was just not high enough."
"Giving it 110%."
Sometimes I feel like I'm a sports reporter with people
repeating the same phrases to me all the time.
"You just gotta stay positive."
"I had a friend who had that same thing."
"I don't know how you do it."
♪ ♪
Four years after watching Heather's father pass away from
cancer, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer herself.
"It's the puppy dog of cancer," we were told.
One surgery, radioactive iodine, and a 99% chance of full
recovery.
♪ ♪
Sitting alone in my car waiting for Heather's surgery to
finish, all I could think about was that we had signed a
do-not-resuscitate order and a living will before the surgery.
It didn't sound like a puppy dog to me.
♪ ♪
Sometimes you do what you think is right, then it turns
out to be wrong.
I remember after one of Heather's surgeries, Shawna was
turning seven, and I planned a joint birthday party for her
with one of her friends.
I had it all planned out thinking I was saving Heather a
lot of stress, as she was still recovering.
The kids had fun, and I thought it went great, but two months
later, she told me that I had hurt her by not including her in
the party planning.
After years of being sick, she felt like she was being excluded
from the family, like she was no longer part of the team.
♪ ♪
It feels like we've been working so hard as a family but
not moving anywhere, always waiting for the other shoe to
drop.
Hoping for the best, expecting the worst.
I just want my family to have a normal life again, and that
keeps me going.
I sometimes joke with the guys at work saying, "Happy to be
here.
Hoping to make a difference."
But when it comes to my family, I really mean it.
♪ ♪
Mike: Yeah, there we are.
Roger's Story.
Woman 1: That's well done.
Very well.
Woman 2: It's very well done, yeah.
♪ ♪
Woman: Your attitude to this has been amazing, though.
You have been an amazing person for this family.
A very strong man.
You are a very huge part of why your family is still going, why
Heather still fights.
She has you to support her no matter what.
I'm sitting here.
I have a million thoughts running through my mind.
I have never met a man like Roger.
Heather: Oh!
This man is a rock.
Steadfast, kind.
Even when his mother-in-law does daffy things.
[chuckles]
If I could change it, I would.
When I get the phone calls, a little bit dies inside.
I think, "Oh no, how much more is she supposed to go through?"
I don't see a lot of it--[sniffles]--'cause I'm
farther away, and I really feel guilty about it.
[crying]
I feel I should help them more.
Woman 1: I think all your friends have had guilt, though,
at some point, honestly.
Woman 2: Yeah.
All of us have had guilt, so you're not alone there.
See, it's amazing how you--you--the friends feel
guilty, right, where I feel guilty 'cause I've put you guys
through - hell.
I told Rog a long time ago to leave 'cause of the guilt of
this.
It puts a lot of pressure on the relationship.
Heather: Hmm.
- For sure, it does. - Yeah.
Mike: So maybe there's a lot of guilt in this room right now.
Yeah.
Mike: Can we just like let go of that guilt?
Yeah.
Poof.
- Let's just do it, right? - Heather: Yeah.
Heather doesn't need to be guilty because stuff happens,
life happens.
You know, you don't need to be guilty--feel guilty 'cause you
had to move away, you know?
I think you're right, Heather.
I think the guilt, you know, is what separates people from each
other when it comes to caring for each other.
In the long--over nine years now, you guys have been going through
this, right?
I wanted--I wanted Rog and Shawna to go live a life and be
happy with people.
And--
But I'm happy here.
Yeah, where I couldn't wrap my head around that.
He's happy to be here.
Heather: He's happy to be here.
Hoping to make a difference.
Heather: Yeah.
And he--he is making a difference.
He's kept me alive.
He's kept me a part of this family.
He's kept Shawna going.
He's kept everybody going.
♪ ♪
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