Hi friends,
I remember being around six or seven and my parents were trying to get me over my case
of world-shrinking shyness.
I was standing outside the cinderblock concession stand at my brother's little league game
with three dollar bills crumpled in my fist.
You can have a cotton candy, my parents said, but you have to go ask for it.
Really all I had to do was walk up to the window, flatten out my three dollars and say
"cotton candy."
"Can I have a cotton candy please" if I was extra brave.
I stood at a distance, far enough away to not look like I was trying to order, but close
enough to see the lined up tubs of sugar.
The late summer humidity was choking me.
Just ask for it.
I knew that the moisture in the air would make the cotton candy kinda crystallized and
melted so I could press it into a cube and eat it.
Just.
walk up.
And ask for the cotton candy.
But I couldn't do it.
I felt so frustrated that my mom or dad wouldn't just order it for me.
But even with imminent promise of delicious, pink and blue cotton candy cubes, I was too
scared to talk.
In thinking about my goals and plans for 2018, I've been wondering a lot about all the
cotton candy I never got.
What other things have I wanted so much but couldn't have because I was too afraid to
open my mouth?
I'll be honest.
I'm often jealous when my friends get opportunities that my i'm not getting even if i'm working
as hard, or that my work is just as valuable.
I kind of imagine that the powers that be are looking at my videos and their videos
and they're like well taylor is clearly not as good let us purposely exclude her from
all the things, when in reality they probably have no idea i even exist.
Why would they?
I've never said anything to them.
Still, I also want to work with that person, and I also want to speak at that event, my
stuff is also a great fit for that project and why can I not have the thing I want to
have?
Okay, well you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you CAN.
If the last couple of years have taught me anything it's that maybe it's not enough
to just work hard and hope someone will notice you.
It's not even enough to have the requisite amount of dollars in your hand.
You also have to walk up to the counter and ask for it.
So that's what I want to to this year.
To stop worrying that i'll seem bossy, or that i'll look like I want it *too much.*
To not be afraid to spit it out, and ask for what I want.
So i'll start now.
I'd like my videos to reach more people this year.
So if you enjoy them, Will you think about your favorite one, and share it with someone
who you think might like it?
That would really mean a lot to me.
Thanks.
In the comments, tell me about a time you asked for what you wanted, or if you're
more like me, what's one thing you want that you're going to ask for now?
If you liked this video you can subscribe, you can find me anywhere on the internet @itsradishtime,
you can support me with your coins on Patreon and I'll see you next week,
Bye!
[CLAP]


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