Tonight,
we're going to talk about food.
That thing that you constantly want,
need,
but can't have.
Specifically,
we're going to discuss some of the difficult
choices college students have to make
surrounding healthy eating habits.
And a huge part of the university population
struggles with something called,
"food insecurity."
And no,
that's not when you're drinking 1%
when you really could be drinking whole.
"Your mom goes to college."
The reality is that many college students
don't have reliable access to
nutritious food.
This can result from being
financially unable to afford healthy food,
or by living in a situation where nutritious food
is unavailable.
In fact,
40% of college students in the United States
suffer from this food insecurity.
And this shouldn't be confused with the 100%
of college students that just suffer
from regular insecurity.
So, day in and day out
many of us
students
have to choose between having money
and eating well.
In addition to choosing between
sleep,
social life,
good grades,
masturbating...
Netflix...
getting high...
brushing your teeth,
brushing your teeth while getting high...
Now, in order to talk about -
That's the 6 things!
Now, in order to talk about this issue,
we need to get an idea of what
we students really sustain ourselves on.
I'm a pretty busy guy.
I host this show,
I have a mailbox,
my house is infested with ants...
There's millions of them,
and they all depend on me.
I barely have the time,
or the skill,
to cook myself a good meal.
Trust me, I've tried.
I watch those Buzzfeed Tasty videos,
but honestly, I don't get it.
I never have enough bowls.
Why do I need a different bowl
for every ingredient?
Salt doesn't need a bowl!
For real though,
the internet can be a great place to learn to cook.
Here's a college life hack:
making a quesadilla with an iron
is an easy way to eat cold cheese
between wet tortillas
and burn down your dorm.
So, instead of getting written up for arson
we resort to things like
Cup Noodles,
Pop Tarts,
Easy Mac,
Hot Cheetos,
and Taco Bell.
These are great when you're just trying to survive
the day on a budget,
or when you're too high to use the stove,
but honestly,
this stuff is toxic waste.
The Nightcap team and I have been
rehearsing with this bag of Taco Bell nachos
for three days and it hasn't gone bad.
Which is sort of quality craftsmanship, but -
that's beside the point.
With all of this easy crap,
we start to rely on that warm and huggy
MSG feeling.
You know, we'll eat a bag of chips
or a microwaved burrito
to curb our hunger pangs until
we have time to actually make something substantial.
But then we never get to the second part.
All that cheap,
accessible food
leads to stress.
Which only leads to more bad eating habits
and pretty soon we're just skipping meals
and filling ourselves with
sugar,
sodium,
and God's perfect little Columbian drug:
coffee.
It's convenient, but it's far from healthy.
Take Easy Mac for example.
Easy Mac contains ingredients
that according to the USDA are,
"generally recognized as safe."
Yes,
like I'm generally recognized as a good looking person,
but the key word here
is generally.
Aside from these easily accessible meal substitutes -
Did he bring it back?
Aside from these easily accessible meal sub -
Aside from these easily accessible meal substitutes,
we students can't even find the time
in our busy schedules
to eat,
let alone eat well.
How many times have you been sitting in class
and your feet start to go numb
and your eyes start to twitch
and your professor starts to
sound like one of the adults from Charlie Brown?
So you start to WedMD your symptoms
because clearly you've contracted some sort of
off-brand scurvy from the dorms
and it's taking over in the middle
of COMS 101.
Then you ask your group partner
if they would do a "Walk for the Cure" for you
and they're like,
"Dude, when was the last time you ate?
That's probably your issue."
And you remember that - no no no!
Two days ago, you had a burrito!
Just this morning you found half a bag
of pita chips in your car...
They weren't stale.
You ate them.
So you're good for another 12 to 16 hours.
You're in college,
adderall is your food now.
And this,
or some version of this
becomes your daily routine.
We have work,
we have school,
we have to try to sleep,
we have to study,
and all this cheap junk food
is always just within reach.
Which leaves us very little room
for healthy eating habits.
By the way, donate now to
offbrandscurvy.net.
Together, we can make up a cure.
We all have that girl in our class that eats
vegan yoga-dirt bowls
and rice soylent kale smoothies
and won't shut the fuck about it on Instagram.
And somehow, she has enough bowls!
Salt doesn't need a fucking bowl.
Here's the thing,
eating like a trash bird may work for her,
and that's great,
There's nothing better than that picture!
Eating like a trash bird may work for her
and that's great,
she's got her healthy eating figured out.
But I'm like,
a human man.
I need something that is substantial -
not just like 3 chia seeds
hanging ten off a celery stick.
Especially when each chia seed
costs like $6 from Whole Foods.
It's really important to feed yourself.
Especially when you have a busy day.
So if you don't have the time,
or the money to cook
what do you do?
And I know what you're thinking,
Jordan,
you silly billy,
you and your militia of ant children
should just eat on campus!
They have food for you!
Now,
if you're like me,
the food on my campus tastes like this:
However,
in case you forgot,
let me remind you.
In corner number one at 1,440 calories
and 100 grams of fat,
it's the campus dining carne asada salad!
I'll let you look at that.
And in corner number two,
Oh god...
At 3,800 calories
and 173 grams of fat,
it's the Tacos To-Go Iguana Burrito!
I'm going to have to two-hand this.
Who wins?
Nobody knows.
Who loses?
Buttholes everywhere.
If you're wondering what that smell is,
it's this.
So,
campus dining isn't offering us
the affordable and healthy options.
Unless you eat this entire iguana burrito in 15 minutes
and then it's free.
And real nutritious food from the supermarket
is just too expensive.
So who has the solution?
The answer is going to surprise you.
It's the state.
A new outreach program
forming in the CSU system
is called Cal Fresh.
And even though it sounds like that kid
from your hometown
who still thinks he's going to be a dj,
this is a really awesome program.
DJ Cal Fresh
is a federal nutrition program
that helps you stretch your food budget
to buy healthy food.
It's a great program for college students
who need that extra money for groceries
especially the healthy options.
And no,
you can't buy liquor.
We tried.
Not even that Ringo's Tree Sap Organic Microbrew.
Cal Fresh can be used at Farmer's Markets
and grocery stores
and unlike the meal plan you had freshman year,
anything you don't use
rolls over to the next month.
So check your eligibility.
You can click the link in our description.
Right now, it's available across the CSUs
and we hope to see it expand
across the United States.
Because
c'mon
if Chico State is doing it
pretty much anyone can do it.
And if you don't think you have a problem,
look at our college food pyramid.
Cal Fresh might not fit your needs
but try getting together with friends
to cook large meals that can be frozen
and saved for when your schedule is just too hectic.
Go to the grocery store with a healthy recipe in mind,
and that way you don't end up
buying things you don't need.
Like Snickers,
or deodorant.
Also that smell.
Obviously,
this isn't a magic wand
that will make all food insecurity go away.
But it's definitely a step in the right direction.
DJ Cal Fresh,
take it away!
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét