- [Kat] So, you've heard my true tea,
but now I want to hear yours!
Tune in Monday for next week's question
and Snap me your answer to be featured
in next Friday's video.
Here's how you guys answered this week's question:
Do you think it's possible to date someone
who has the polar opposite world view as you?
If so, do you think it's possible to maintain it
through that relationship?
- If their opposite world view is that black people
aren't human, I can't handle that.
- On the question of would I date somebody
with an opposite world view to me,
the question that comes to mind is, would they respect me?
And I feel like if we have an opposite world view,
you can't respect me and the people I care about.
If you don't respect people's right to universal healthcare,
then you don't respect the people in my family
that are chronically ill or disabled.
And if you don't respect a living wage 40 hours a week,
you're not respecting the friends and family I have
that are working jobs that don't pay well.
On every level, politics is intertwined in my life
and if you have opposite world views of me,
you can't respect who I am
and the lives of my friends and family.
So it would just be impossible because you don't respect me.
- Of course I like to interact with people that have
differing opinions, but I think
the completely opposite would be so incompatible
that we could just never get along in any way.
And I think it would be pretty impossible
for them to be an opposite to me
without being some kind of
malicious, hateful person.
To me, those differences would include things like
misogyny, transphobia, racism, and I just can't
accept those things or be attracted to them.
I've had hookups with guys who thought
that being a feminist meant that you hated men
and I'm a Nazi, or whatever.
I was low-key turned off the entire time (laughing).
I don't think there would ever be a point
where someone like that would be attracted to me
in the first place because they would disagree
with everything about me as a person and that doesn't work.
I just don't ever see that being the kind of relationship
where I would feel safe or loved or accepted.
I feel like I couldn't get along with them in any way,
so definitely not compatible in the slightest.
- I see it as two parts: political and not political.
Politically polar opposite, no,
but maybe someone who sees art completely differently
or sees people completely differently.
I've mentioned before that a diversity in opinion
in a relationship makes it more interesting.
I think that's true
but maybe not if you disagree politically.
I kind of want someone with similar sensibilities to me.
I don't want someone who views things exactly like I do
because I get mad at myself sometimes (laughing).
- I believe that it's possible
to separate a person from the politics,
so I don't mind being friends or colleagues
with someone who might have a different
political perspective or world view.
But, to me, in a relationship
with someone with a different one of those things
would be a lot more difficult.
Could bond over TV shows or books or food,
but you can't, you will have a clash with that person
if your politics or your world view comes into play.
The other hand though, if you do have a world view
but you're not that emotionally invested in it
then I think it could be possible.
But for me personally, I don't think that's possible.
- I think what we think of when we talk
about stuff like that is SJW against anti-SJW.
It's not that simple.
Let's say you're vehemently against animal testing,
or something, for cosmetic purposes
and your partner just doesn't think that's as important.
At least I don't think it's as important
as something like global warming
or nursing home abuse, I don't know.
Unfortunately what we tend to be presented with is,
"I want to affirm my basic humanity,"
versus "I want deny your basic humanity."
- I actually do go out with my polar opposite.
When it comes to zodiac, he's a Taurus, I'm a Scorpio.
He's outgoing, he's fun.
I'd rather stay home and watch anime or Netflix
and just have fun inside while he likes to have fun outside.
But I feel like it's the best relationship
I ever have because being both opposites,
we're both able to teach one another
about something that we're not.
Going out with him, I've become more social
and able to talk more with everyone
and be myself around everyone.
Since being with me, he's able to relax more
because he feels like he needs to do something everyday.
But now he can just calm down a little bit.
While we are opposite, we do have things
that we both like alike.
We both love anime.
We both are artists.
- Hey, Kat.
Your question spoke to me
because I recently broke up with my girlfriend
also because she was scared of my opinions
that were very different than hers.
I'm currently living with a guy who
has really polar opposite views than mine and, yeah.
We have very interesting discussions
but I really definitely wouldn't see myself pursuing
a relationship with someone who has such views
because I believe that they are harmful to a lot of people,
including myself and some of my closest friends.
How would I go and date someone who believes
that some of my friends are sub-human
for being who they are or should go back into a closet?
It wouldn't make sense.
It would feel to me as betrayal to my friends
and also, it seems like I would spend
the entire relationship trying to change the other person.
I definitely don't think it would be
a very healthy thing to do,
to be in a relationship where you're constantly trying
to change the other person's views.
I enjoy having conversations where we're
completely disagree with my roommate,
but it would be extremely exhausting, emotionally,
to have them ongoing with my partner.
But I know I have a pretty radical position on that topic
because my views and my convictions are a hard one
and are a part of my identity.
I can date someone who has different world views
as mine on some topics.
I mean, I don't have to date someone who thinks
exactly the same things that I think.
I mean, that would be sad.
You have to have some diversity in your relationships.
I mean, I don't want to date the same person as I am.
That wouldn't be interesting either.
But if my partner has world views that are opposite to mine
it means that they have world views
that I am trying to fight in my everyday life.
So I would either have to ignore their world views
or fight them inside the relationship.
Both choices seem terrible.
So yeah, I can definitely date someone
who doesn't agree with me on everything, but I can't
date someone who disagrees with me on everything.
- I think it's really difficult
to address this question generally
because it depends on the couple and how they make it work.
Everyone has their differences
so I think every couple kind of needs to deal with
extreme differences in a relationship to a certain extent.
I think you could be opposite politically,
but then alike in other ways and make it work, you know?
But you'd have to have some other similarities.
And I think I would almost go with any situation
where two people are at odds in that way while
in a romantic relationship.
But I think if one person in the relationship
believes in something that goes against everything,
almost in an offensive way,
that the other person believes in.
For example, if one person in a relationship
heavily supported LGBTQ rights,
but then the other person thought that being gay was a sin.
I would imagine that would be a really difficult
situation to compromise on and I think there's
other examples where it would be similar.
I guess the bottom line here is that
I think that it is possible with compromise,
but there are some issues that are uncompromisable.
And honestly, I don't know if
it would work completely without changing,
one person changing their views slightly
for the other person, or because of the other person.
- I'd never be able to date someone with a polar opposite
world view just because it goes beyond politics.
It's how you view every situation in life.
A world view, if you're a really optimistic person, right,
and someone is pessimistic
and always dragging the situation down,
you don't want to date them because
that just goes against who you are on a fundamental level.
That reflects onto politics too.
A lot of politics are rooted,
they're rooted in different priorities.
If someone doesn't share your priorities,
they can't share your life goals
and further them with you, really.
I feel like if I did, if I did,
I wouldn't be that committed to my world view, really.
So, in short, I don't think anyone could truly date
someone with a polar opposite world view.
Even if you consider their world view entirely,
you still, on a fundamental level,
are together in some way that makes it
so you're not exact polar opposites, you know?
- Hey, Kat.
We love your videos, first and foremost.
In fact, the two of us debate about them a lot.
- So in answering your question,
(laughing) your videos actually bring out
the differences and political views me and her have.
- Like the two of us, we just can't agree on anything
but that's okay, you know?
Just because we don't have exactly the same views on things.
- We don't really have any views that totally differ.
I guess we're both liberal and lean to the left.
- I do think differences are important
in a relationship in order to have health,
but I wouldn't want somebody who's
completely and totally my opposite.
- I wouldn't want someone who's my polar opposite,
but I do need someone that has a little bit of differences
to me to kind of stimulate my mind a little bit,
if that makes sense.
But, yeah.
- For me, a partner needs to be different
but not entirely different from me and my world views.
And the reason for this is because if they can't--
- If we can't agree on anything
we'll never find common ground.
I need some common ground.
But no, I wouldn't date my polar opposite.
- Thanks, Kat. - Thanks, Kat.
- [Kat] Thank you so much for sending in your answers.
I loved hearing what everyone had to say.
Who do you agree or disagree with?
You can still give me your brew in the comments box below.
If you haven't already, subscribe to my channel.
Subscribe so you can get next week's question
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See you guys next week.
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