Hi I'm Jennifer Spoelma, and this is Feminine Foresight.
So for those of you who may be new, Feminine Foresight is a video in a blog series that
I create in which we dive into research and we dive into current trends that are happening
in the world about communication and leadership.
So to me those things go hand in hand because the better you are able to communicate the
more opportunities you have for leadership.
Because you need to be able to convey your ideas share them with people well in order
to create a response or in order to create action to what it is you're trying to accomplish.
Today's topic is a really exciting one or a really important one.
I guess it's both of those together.
The topic is integrity and how we can use our words with integrity.
This is a hot issue right now if you're paying any attention to the news.
Because basically the way that we have learned to communicate and the way our culture is
currently communicating has severely deteriorated.
The way that information is shared and the way that people opine on information and react
and talk and share content on social media, it's so quick; it's not very often very thoughtful
and it's very biased.
So we're in this really weird stage right now where we're being inundated with information.
The news cycle is going so quickly and it's like nothing can be trusted.
Right?
So that's a reality.
Something else that is a reality that I want to say at the get-go before we get into this,
is I want you to know that my opinion and my belief is that people are doing the best they can.
I don't think that people are all out there trying to be manipulative with the information
that they're sharing or trying to cause confusion.
I believe that people are doing the best they can to live with integrity and that they are
making decisions based off of the information that is available to them and what they deem
is best. And people for the most part are trying to communicate well.
However, we're in this crazy culture right now.
Right?
We're in a culture has dominated by language that's judgmental, that's very hard-handed,
that's divisive.
That's our reality.
And when we have that coming from the White House and coming from our president, where
he tweets out things that are lies and he constantly diminishes and demeans anybody
who criticizes him or raises a counter opinion to him, we have this news cycle in which we're
being constantly reminded of this form of communication, that just has nothing, and
does not resemble integrity one bit.
So what I think is happening is that -- when that becomes normal for us, even as individuals,
even if we are trying to do the best that we can and communicate with as much integrity
as possible -- when our normal becomes this kind of crazy opinionated one-sided story,
then we start to fall into that ourselves.
It's easier for us to fall into that.
When something becomes normal in your culture, it's easier to personally adopt it as well.
So one of the things that is super important, and I hope you're already doing, is questioning
and critically thinking about all of the information that you're consuming.
So whether it's coming from a news source or are you reading it in a book or somebody is
saying it or sharing in a video online, critically thinking -- where is this information coming from?
What does it mean?
What do I think about it?
What is this person's point of view when they're sharing it? etc. -- all of that is going to
help us be more informed.
But one of the bigger issues that is happening in our post-modern society is it's defined
by this questioning state where postmodernism is the idea that there's a lot of skepticism
and irony about everything; there's maybe not any objective truth, so everything's questioned.
What happens is that creates this environment in which outrageous information can be shared
and this actually becomes a lot safer to share outrageous biased information.
Because the thought behind all that is -- if somebody disagrees with me, like if I write
this or if I say this, or if I post this video that has this really intense view of the world
-- if anybody disagrees with me, then I can just chalk it up to them being the outrageous one.
There's a lot of different things that we can say.
So we can call somebody...
We can say "oh they're just uninformed" or "they've been brainwashed" or "they are narrow-minded"
or "they're not as woke as I am" or any number of things.
There's all these things -- defense mechanisms -- that we can use to not get hurt by having
an opinion that others can disagree with.
And the issue is that everybody can do that.
So when everybody is taking these bold stances or just quickly making judgments making remarks
without diving into anything, then we have a situation where nothing's true everything
can be questioned, and therefore we can even start to think like -- well, you know, words
don't really make a difference anymore because everyone's just saying what's ever on their mind.
And if we start to adapt that and start just speaking because nobody can really critique
us, then we have lost a lot of integrity in our own words.
So what I hope to do in this episode is I hope to challenge you to think about the integrity
of your own words.
Especially in social conversations and political conversations and the way that we engage online.
I know that it can be very appealing for some people to want to share consistently or to
be able to post articles and to share their opinion and get feedback on that.
For some people, having a feeling like there's influence in that way, that's really
tempting to fall into, to keep commenting, to keep sharing.
But when you're constantly outputting information like that and not taking the time to really
reflect and think through things, or to value others' opinions.
I'm not saying that you have to adopt everybody else's opinion, but value them, consider them
and then think about -- what is the way that I can move forward and communicate my own ideas
with the most integrity.
So how can you have a beneficial conversation while still staying true to yourself
and your own values?
One of the things that I've done for myself is I have actually created a list and I call
my list "how to write with integrity."
This is a list that's 19 things long.
I am not going to share all 19 things on my list for you this video, but I have shared
them all in a blog post.
So you can check out the blog post at www.jenniferspoelma.com.
This list is something that I created because I had a writing project I was working on and
I knew that the topic I was writing about was a pretty sensitive topic.
A lot of people had some polarized views on it; I had some strong views on it, and I wanted
to be really careful that I wasn't letting too much of my own opinions, and my own frustrations
bleed into what I was writing.
I really wanted to do justice to the topic into the issue and be willing to open my mind
and expand my ideas and learn from others.
So in order to do that I created this list because I was like -- I need help.
I need all the guidance I can to make sure that I'm writing from a place of integrity.
So I'm going to share five of those top things with you on the video, and again you can check
out the rest of them on my website.
So first one is -- write what is true.
Do not write to appease.
That is a big thing.
It is really tempting especially if you are writing on line or trying to build any type
of audience.
It's so easy to just want to write what you know people will just be okay with, or you
know, people aren't going to question you about.
The sad thing is that's not super creative and it also doesn't add to much the world.
If you're just ready something that doesn't really make an impact then it's not worth
it, and if you're not giving the full truth.
So most realities in life have things that are easier to swallow and harder to swallow,
all in one.
It's good to talk about the truth and all of those elements, instead of just appeasing people.
Second one, closely related and that is -- nuance.
Hold space for nuance when you're communicating.
Nuance is the idea that two ideas or more than two ideas that seem different, can be
true at the same time and they can exist at the same time.
So that is definitely a hot topic, and in writing worlds it's talked a lot about, but
in like, our day-to-day communication it's pretty rare.
There's not that many times that we actually are recognizing -- what they're saying and
what I'm feeling can both be true at the same time.
Then how do we work around that reality?
Number three is to respect the intelligence and experience of my readers.
So as a writer, it would be really easy to create content if I always took on this persona
like -- I'm going to just write about my experiences and what I know and I'm going to share it
with you and I are going to read and you're going to learn something from what I've written.
That would be easy to create content.
But I don't think that the content that I would create would be very good or very helpful.
You would probably be really annoyed with me as a writer.
So one of the things that I try to always be considering is when I'm writing and when
I'm thinking about my reader, I'm thinking -- how can they use what I'm sharing or what
I'm writing and build it into their lives?
I don't expect anybody to fully adopt to my ways of thinking, but rather how can it be
part of a conversation where maybe they've been experiencing this as well or they've
been thinking about integrity and how they communicate.
Then how can this add in to those things they've already been thinking about in the ways that
they've been living and benefit them.
And the same way always having this open mind that I am able to create and I'm able to share
my ideas, but so is everybody else and I can learn from those as well.
The fourth one is to be open and honest about why certain issues have personal importance to me.
That might seem kind of obvious but that one's actually a difficult one for me.
I do have a lot of strong feelings.
I don't always feel comfortable sharing those.
But that's mostly all mine, which I actually think is a safe boundary to have.
The fifth one is that -- this reality that I am capable of learning anything and so are you.
We can learn.
So we can ask hard questions.
We can challenge ourselves because we can handle it.
So I always challenge myself to not walk away from a tough topic or a tough question that
I have, because I trust -- I can look into this; I can make a decision, and I can learn
from this and you can too.
So those are my 5 top tips for how to communicate with integrity.
And again, you can check out the rest of my list on my website.
Thank you so much for joining me, and you can expect more content next week.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this video.
Bye.
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