- We all know about Ms. United States.
Well, now there's a competition for men
which is of course called Mr. United States,
and Avery D. Wilson is Mr. United States 2016.
He's actually from right around the corner in Baton Rouge
and he was actually the first Mr. United States.
- Tell us about some of the work that you do
and why they call you Mr. United States 2016.
- Absolutely.
Well, Mr. United States organization
is a brand-new organization for young men across the country
who really want to give back to their community.
It's the guy that Ms. America
and Ms. Universe would probably want.
- [Sheba] Okay.
- So it's a little bit of everything.
It's scholarship, it's service, it's community service,
giving back in terms of platform-driven work.
It's everything for men
that you see typically for the women in pageants.
It's private interview, it's runway fashion, it's talent,
and a culmination of all of those things
kind of allowed me to be on top.
- You never cease to amaze me and it's just like,
whatever you put your mind to, you do it with such...
(sighs) I don't know, it's just like this willingness.
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!
Has there ever been a task that you've ever tried to tackle,
like I don't know if this one gonna work out?
- Mm, you know what, Latangela?
First and foremost, thank you.
Thank you for that, and it feels good to hear
that people may be able to see that light
but the reality is, that is not always the case.
I was definitely bullied a lot in school,
so much so to the point that I didn't want to go to school.
I can remember vividly in elementary school
hearing chants on the bus as I got on the school bus,
I had an hour or so to get to my school.
I can still hear the chant,
"Avery is a girl, a sissy and a (audio removed),
"next thing you know..."
It was this whole thing of just not being close to me
because if I touched you, then you had it, whatever it was.
I will never forget my second grade year,
I said I had a headache, that something was going on
in my head that my brain, my head was just swelling
to the point where I just needed to go to the doctor
over and over.
We did CAT scans, we did, I mean, you name it,
but I stayed out of school for like at least two weeks.
And all the reports came back clear
and so the doctors couldn't figure out what was going on.
But I was literally just lying.
My dad was tough.
He would make me play sports that I hated.
I hated football, I hated baseball
but I made myself love them
because I learned how to be good at them.
But before I was even saying nothing or talking,
boys were already talking about me so I'm thinking,
man, I'm always gonna be a target.
But I realized that straight boys like to win
so I tried to figure out how to get good at the sport.
It was those moments of winning Little League championships
where all the guys are running to the mound to pick me up.
Like, I was that guy.
I was the star pitcher.
I was the person who won the championship.
I hit the grand slam at the end...
I can't tell you how many times that happened to me.
I was that star kid athlete and it's only because
I just realized I was working so hard to be liked.
You win the championship, you go to eat at wherever
and you're hanging out and you're with the boys
and then the next day, you go back to school
and you're that punk again.
So I just had to figure out another game.
I had to wait 'til the next weekend
for the next game, you know, to remind them.
Or help them in homework,
let them cheat off me or something.
You just, you figure out a way.
If it dies, if it fades, if they forget,
you just remind them.
And as I got older, the definition started changing
and so my behavior or response would change.
So if I'm told, okay, you're gonna get picked on
and teased if you're gay and gay is,
you know, acting like a girl,
then I worked hard to not act like a girl.
You know, I got a little older, it was,
you were gay if you dressed a certain way
or if you walked a certain way
or if you used a certain language.
So I would dumb down my language,
I'd walk differently, I'd dress differently.
Every stage of my life,
the definition of what being gay was,
being different was, being the target of hatred was,
and I just worked hard at becoming that
because I did not want hatred,
I did not want the feeling of being hated.
It all came to a head when I realized
that I was not going to be able to change who I am.
Church is a huge piece for the African American community.
Like, you always kind of got your identity
and you got your role in life from church.
So if I was ever gonna be expunged from a place,
it was never gonna be church.
I was never gonna allow myself to let the Church
ostracize me because I needed the Church to be whole.
So I'm gonna conform into whatever it is
that the Church says that I am
and so if the Church says that homosexuality is wrong,
if the Church says that is not love
and that you're an abomination,
then I'm gonna figure out whatever I gotta do
to get rid of it.
Even when I got to the point
where I started to have dealings with guys,
I would still go home and try to scrub it off
because it was just a sin and a sin is stoppable eventually.
You can choose to stop doing it.
Well, for me, I couldn't stop whatever the behavior was
or whatever the thoughts were and that's when I realized,
I'm not gonna win because okay, I can figure out
how to fast from activity, I'm not gonna do anything
so that doesn't make me bad
because I'm not breaking the rules by doing anything,
but then I read something in the Bible that's like,
even if you're thinking it.
I'm like...
(groans)
(laughs) I cannot win
because I definitely can't control my thoughts.
Yeah, so I gave up.
Like, I literally had to give up because you can't win.
My early 20s was when it started to come to me
that okay, you are not gonna be able to reprogram yourself,
you are not gonna be able to press pause and like...
It's just not gonna happen.
That's when things started to change for me.
Again, everybody's process is specifically designed for them
and my process for letting my parents know
about my lifestyle, it was just perfect for me.
It was this guy who was just very flamboyant
on television or whatever
and it was just me and her sitting there watching it.
And so I asked her, I said, "Mama, what if I was like him?"
And she said, "What do you mean?"
I was like, "What are your thoughts of this guy
"and what if I was just like him?"
And she said, "I'd love you anyway, it didn't matter."
That is such the statement
of the African American mother these days.
I'm not trying to generalize all black mothers
but I know for a fact that just in sharing my story
with other friends, it always comes to that.
I'm gonna love you anyway.
So think about it, it's two pieces.
It's first and foremost,
there's unconditional love that I have for you.
Be reminded of that, know that.
You my child.
It's that so it's comforting.
But then, I'm gonna love you anyway,
or despite that or regardless.
And I'm not trying to say my mom...
Paint her as a bad person,
but I think she's very much so, a typical baby boomer.
In her life, in her growing up, in her experiences,
it wasn't of God, it wasn't the way, you know?
I'm supposed to find a wife, I'm supposed to have kids.
Give her some grandkids.
So...
(laughs) All of that got packaged into,
I'm gonna love you anyway.
And that was enough for me.
My father...
On the other hand...
(laughs)
Yeah, we were not gonna do,
sit in front of the television and have a...
No, we're not gonna do that at all.
22, 23, 25, 27.
I still did not have the courage to tell my dad.
Because again, think about it,
by the time he's now 83, 84, 85.
I was thinking, okay, his life is probably...
There's shorter that's left than has happened.
Don't give him something that just makes his life worse
towards the end of it.
Just live, be well with it.
That was my approach with my dad
because I just could not find the words.
I'll never forget, I'm like 30 years old
and we're just having dinner and he's just like,
"So what do you feel about this whole gay lifestyle?"
And I will never forget, my eyes just shot open.
I'm thinking two things.
What has brought you to this place of comfort
that you would even broach the subject?
But two, this is a golden opportunity
to just let loose, like let go.
Like, say it.
Say it.
And I said it.
His face, I'll never forget, his face did this.
(laughs) That was his way of kind of softening the situation
and that was his way of telling me you're in a safe place.
This is a safe conversation, it's okay.
He never came out and said, I support you.
You know, he never came out in that kind of regards.
He definitely told me that I love you,
I've always loved you.
And that's all I care about.
I can't honestly, my dad was not the most articulate
when it comes to using words of affirmation
to express and communicate love,
but that's one of the few times.
I could probably count on one hand
how many times my dad said I love you,
but learning from him it's not even about,
some people may listen and say, "Oh, how unfortunate."
I think just the opposite.
The fact that I can remember every time
my dad told me he loved me makes it even more powerful.
Hi, I'm Avery D. Wilson.
From the ritzy capital of Baton Rouge,
your 2016 Mr. Louisiana.
So about you guys, let's give 'em, give 'em some love.
- [Girls] Love!
- Give 'em some more love.
- [Girls] Love!
- Give 'em some high love.
- [Girls] Love!
- Give 'em some low love.
- [Girls] Love!
- How about some rainbow love?
- [Girls] Love!
- Give 'em some church love.
- [Girls] Hallelujah!
- It has been a dream of mine, since I was a little boy,
I know this sounds crazy because little boys
just don't grow up thinking about pageantry,
but I was literally that seven-year-old
(chuckles) who would watch the Ms. USA pageant
over and over and over and over.
I've always loved the pageantry.
So growing up, I was thinking my closest reach to pageantry
would be probably that I would maybe become a pageant coach
and work with little girls or something like that.
I never thought in a million years.
I mean, there were two pageants in college,
a Mr. Pink and Green pageant and a Mr. Southern pageant.
I did both of those pageants
and I won both of those pageants.
But it wasn't like full-on pageantry pageantry.
So when I heard about the Mr. United States opportunity,
I'm thinking, I was made for this.
So that was the first thing.
I knew that I had to do the competition
because I don't believe in coincidences.
I know that everything happens for a reason
and this, it didn't just get dropped out of the sky
out of nowhere and I was supposed to say,
"Oh, Mr. United States competition that I heard about,
"that's interesting."
No!
I found out because I was supposed to do it.
I firmly believe that.
What I didn't know was how was I going to
make this something that was okay to do?
Because again, I was still bottling up inner thoughts
of not wanting to be overly exposing myself.
Oh, people are gonna think pageantry and automatically
it throws them into your sexual orientation
and I don't really want that kind of energy
on a public scale.
I started thinking of everything as to why I could not do it
and I don't think anything great is achieved
unless there is some type of struggle or resistance.
I think you need the struggle for progress,
to be very, very honest.
Think about it, I'm starting something very new,
people don't know what it is.
Most of the other male pageantry,
anything that they've heard in terms of male pageantry
is either a fitness competition or it's a gay competition.
So it's like okay, you're telling me that this organization
is something different, is something not one of those two?
So I was constantly having to define it,
constantly having to explain it.
I'm still having to explain, which again,
I think that's the work of being a pioneer in something.
It's your job to be the first example
of what it is that you're doing.
I definitely met up with some of those same
childhood bullying voices of, "Oh, that's gay,"
or that's this or that, but I now realize
that had I not gone through that,
had I not had some experience with that
in how to be resilient amidst adversity,
then I wouldn't be fit for the job right now.
So the role and the responsibility,
it's been huge in that regards,
but what's so great about this opportunity also
is that I'm building.
It's a brand-new organization.
Getting to be the first Mr. United States is thrilling
because I get to write the story.
I get to define what it means to be The Nation's Gentleman.
I get to define what this competition,
how it grows in terms of being the first title holder
to really do impactful work in your community,
but also be very outspoken in terms of media.
I get to give back to kids using my dance art
but also do motivational speeches.
I get to make this whatever I want it to be
based off of who I am and what my platform is about.
And so that, it's one of the easiest jobs in the world
because I get to be myself.
(upbeat pop music)
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