coppy giving you notes and we have these blue notebooks back in the back and you
put these notes in there because at the end I'll be asking those who have
finished the course I usually have blanks where you fill in I know that
you've gone through the material and you'll be get credit for for the level
one when you finish up I know we have about 10 to 12 people they've probably
done level 1 well first aspect of level 1 there's part 2 that some and now this
is the part 3 of the level 1 so I would like for you to look at your notes there
and we're talking about dating and usually when I mentioned that next week
we're doing dating and I say people don't show up so I usually don't tell
people they say well why are you teaching dating to adults who are
already married well I do it for two radiant reasons first reason is that I
find that a lot of times we have problems in our marriage because they
started before the marriage okay and dealing with dating relationship and not
VA not doing the dating relationship carries over and goes further in the
marriage situation okay and therefore I found people who have gone through this
with me have gone ah oh yeah in other words life's begin to pop on of
something that's happening in their relationship now that they see why it
started in marry and it kind of helps them for some reason and second of all
is you need to teach it to your kids and if we don't teach it to you and if you
don't investigate it yourself then how in the world are you gonna be
able to correctly bring forth from the Word of God by the fact that's one of
the subjects that I'm doing in an extended amount of time with my kids
this summer I spend now an hour at least of concentrated town on my kids a week
on this subject plus our devotion times the breakfast table and sometimes an
evening when we do things but I have one hour with them and we're going through
this subject since there are teenagers I figure they at least ought to know they
know a lot but I want to make sure they got it down
and I will tell you principles of the word of God and I'll tell you how I
apply them which does not necessarily mean you have to apply them that way
because there's some latitude in here how you view this dating okay all right
I hope you picked up the notes in the back the first thing that I would ask is
do you know the divorce rate that is today it probably depends on the area
one out of two one out of three okay when you hear the that people want
intimacy in their marriage and in their relationship what what do people mean by
that or what should we mean by that we hope the answer that question do you
know the common reason for for people getting divorced it deals with finances
communication sex and I always say selfishness when two centers come to to
marry each other there's problems I mean the difference between a divorced person
and a married person is not problems sometimes not even the it's problem it's
some of them are the same problems is this how do you handle those problems
okay
when do you think one should begin to develop a solid manner you tell me when
do you ship it Linda ha ha good great okay
it starts with relationships I mean when I'm starting with my kids now on
Thursday evenings least we last Thursday evening what do we start we start right
over with with the opposite sex and dealing with David know I'm dealing with
what does the Bible say about relationships period okay and dealing
with that what the Bible says about relationships will apply a great deal to
the aspect of what we call a 20th century dating because you don't find
that in the scripture you don't find the concept the courtship and dating in the
scripture but you have a great deal to deal with relationships and so therefore
how do you deal with relationships both men with men women with women and then
men and women in the relationships that we often call dating now most young
people have little comprehension of the seeds of success or failure that it's
sewn during the the dating years so let me ask this physical intimacy most
people when they think about intimacy oh you know I want an intimate married they
think more on the physical level and a lot of counselors will begin to counsel
on the physical level and how you might be able to better get along so they deal
with the physical level and they're finding that there's still a great deal
of failure record okay because it deals with the spirit
okay so that's what we want to do a significant woman who was 19 years in
her marriage came up and was facing divorce and she explained to her best
friend that the standard problems of sex and money and children was not the
trouble in the marriage they had grow they had slowly grown Oh away from each
other and the question was why did the marriage fail and they responded by
saying neglect to understand or achieve marriage deepest and most subtle test
yes that's correct and that that test was the intimacy test now the true
intimacy deals with not just the wishes and the emotions but it deals with the
aspect of the spiritual so what I see the chief purpose in dating if you do
that kind of thing were entering into marriage is a spiritual oneness and if
that's not the intent is's if your relationships period and as your dating
relationship with a girl then you're going to end in trouble in your
relationship and in your marriage number one reason why you should come together
it's the cause of spiritual interest spiritual oneness
one person in Houston Bible ins to where I teach and somehow we got on this but
you know when you teach for three hours at a wack you know you can get on all
kinds of subjects and he says well you know it if God says you can serve Him
better being single why does he say it's better you know it's not good for a man
to be alone and you know it's that kind of thing and he says because then you
have to spend half of your time with a pleasing your mate when you just spend
full your time with the Lord and I said well that's why it is absolutely crucial
that the mate you have and he says I guess you lock lock elbows with them so
you only have one hand to minister with the Lord using that as a little station
that said yes you lock you lock with you mate and that's why your mate should
have their other hand free to serve the Lord so at least you're at the same you
got two hands moving and I tell people don't just marry a Christian that's just
that's the minimum requirement you need a married Christian who is a hundred
percent going for the Lord in a sense that when you marry them your ministry
is accentuate it is brought to a higher level because of their gifts and talents
and their dedication to Jesus Christ then it is that though you are have to
spend a time with your mate even because you're coming together accentuates it
and pulls it forward you're still at the same level or
further because you have come together maybe you see that and when I explain it
that way says oh well that makes sense and I said well I hope so because I'm
married well the chief purpose let's look at page three there was an
illustration there I want to say during a little time like this and in church
service 14 year old daughter was was listening to the conversation about
dating noticing that the father was starting to to nod off because of lunch
or whatever it was and so when it came to question and
answer sheet look at that he wasn't watching she slips up her hands very
sheepishly and asked this when how old do you have to be today and dad wakes up
of course that he goes alright preacher you're on that way you better have the
right answer here well how Oh first of all I want to tell you by my application
and this is not found in Scripture I think I can I can have intimacy I'm in
there I can have implications from Scripture toward this but it's not
stated I think dating should be reserved for that time when you you believe that
one is the one you would like to marry you don't know what it is but let's just
don't be just dating just to be dating is what I'm saying
and my scent looking at it is you can have relationships with ladies all over
the place in a sense of just friends and involvement in talking and group
involvement and just that in the other at times you may want to go do this that
in the other but on a steady dating situation I think it should be at the
age where they have determined from the qualifications and this at the other
this one is a possibility for marriage and therefore I'm pursuing it in that
way that means I'm going to married but that's why I am dating them on a regular
basis okay that's how I view it that can't find
that specifically in Scripture but their implications I think are there so here
are the qualifications I added one these material is if you have seen it before
you probably know that's from golfers material I don't agree with everything
that bill golfers does but he does have some good material and I hopefully will
add to what I think will accentuate it in my
the first way I would say before you allow your child from to date with first
they should be aware of both the benefits and dangers of relationships
dating okay and I just basically told my kids you know until you're 18 or over
don't even think about it I mean have a good time with him is that
in the other but that's my decision I mean that's not found in Scripture okay
I'm making applications for my family I do that because people always happen
what do you do well you can take my ad to take away that's you you're you're
before the Lord on your your family and I will beef with mine so they need to
know the dangers and the benefits of a relationship okay and that takes time I
mean that you say well cause you didn't tell me well yeah I mean that takes some
time to sit down and teach your kids because you're all you mean you just I
mean you know I mean I'm gonna you're old enough to know what happens in
relationships and the benefits and dangers of them and you need to be able
to communicate to that to them on those earth number two when you have
personally worked out from Scripture not you but your childhood a set of God's
dating standards I would say there's that a dating standards because you know
Finance scripture I'd say relationship standards I mean what does God say about
relationships I mean what's the relationship with with the opposite sex
howdy what is he saying these things there are passage of Scripture there's a
book by Josh McDowell now and big day wai-wait is a very good book about that
thick I've been kind of perusing through it but that'll be a good one for Josh
McDowell spoke to me when I was in college so he's he's putting around
dicked they did too so I was 20 20 some odd years ago and they've written a book
big old thick book and perusing through it's very good so I
haven't read at all but I would recommend that number three yeah
okay that's not make sure I'm communicating that's not what's stated
in Scripture that's an application I for my family
well they can have relationships in a group situation for example in the youth
group there's they go do things together you know I mean just in a group but not
worried it's a one-on-one this is mine this is my boyfriend this is me we find
statistically as Josh and dick tell me the earlier that a child gets involved
in the physical I mean just holding hands or this that and the other
statistically it doesn't always think you know statistically the earlier they
have sexual problems so I've been very fortunate you know because of the youth
group and the situation and my kids I mean they not too interested in them uh
I started too early so but it's not a not a big problem I mean not that you
can't have relationships with those it's just that on this you know you know
getting in the car singly going out and doing things when you can get in the car
and go to a movie where a bunch of you just go together you know go together do
everything together matter of fact that's so far Jim that's
what's happening are you it's good you know we let you go together wherever we
go you know they're not pairing that praise God at least at this time far as
I know it that happens but we're not trying to discourage it that's what that
family wants though we just want to be careful yes Cathy
yes it has a lot of scripture involved and I just don't have time in a one time
seconds to go through everything but that's why I recommend the book why
weights piggle thick book and it's toward the end of the book first part of
it is why wait I mean he talks about testimonies and setting the other the
back of the book I think it's better because it gives you specific reasons of
why you have relationships what the scripture talks about testimonies of
young people who say it works and when they didn't do it right and why it
didn't work I mean that's really great you can begin to read and give out
illustrations of that few kids and I'm sorry today we are more existential and
pragmatic in our society that means existential means more experiencing the
only ended pragmatism it's whatever works do it and whether it's biblical or
not and so sometimes an illustration is more or more weight than than the
scriptures which is a shame that where scripture should be that an illustration
just helps to see how it flushes out an experience and first second first aware
of the benefits and dangers second personally work out some scriptures a
set of standards thirdly when your child purpose that they will not lower the
standards even if lose meant losing dates or losing relationships okay keep
that standard and I think it's so important for you to you mean if I had
girls see I got boys so it's a little
different how many of you got Bo five girls you know I'd had the man I had the
young man come in and talk to me with if it was a time when my child still at
home they'd have to come and talk to me and I would make sure that child knows
that my daughter is telling me everything she does on the day and he
does something that's wrong I'm going to talk to him about he places his hand
somewhere he's not supposed to he knows next time he picks it up I'm gonna ask
him and tell him listen I don't really appreciate that I mean that stops a lot
of things of guys who yeah now and I think I put
the burden on the man on the boys most people in our society puts the pressure
on the girl now don't let him do this go and do that well that's true
girls don't let him do that but in my opinion who's supposed to be leading
what are we trying to teach your kids the men are should be the ones who'd be
leading I mean it's not like a husband and wife relationship but still in that
kind of day if there is a date or involved in relationship the man should
be the one who's leaving does what is right I'm a little talking about
Scripture and it seems to me is we always hitting the girl saying don't let
them do what I'm saying well what about the guy you know I think we ought to hit
him harder in my opinion and I put a fourth one there that's not in your
notes is that when your parents say you're ready you may think they're ready
but they when the parents think that they're ready well on page four let's
look at a little bit of intimacy in dating I want you to see that you ought
to teach your children that relationships deals with the spiritual
first why do you have a relationship with anybody I mean you sit there and
tell your kids now how do you choose your friends and this that in the other
how do you choose well as adults what do you do why should we want to be involved
with people's life well we want to witness non-believers but we don't spend
90% of our time with unbelievers do we that will pull you down well we want to
spend time with people who are spiritually minded why so because
they'll help me to grow well what's the difference between dating I mean why
don't we throw that out the window well a matter of fact to me that is the chief
purpose of having a relationship in that way is dealing with the spiritual unity
so I have to agree with Gotha when he says the chief purpose of dating is to
achieve spiritual oneness when this is accomplished one there will be a greater
love for God to a new joy in the scriptures three a new desire to tell
others about Christ for a deepening fellowship with other Christians in
these areas now what am I talking about I know about spiritual growth Arnott
so what my question is if your dating is not achieving this result
you ought to back up and check it out here whoa wait a minute I would say the
same thing in the relationship with anybody if it's not cheating that and
causing other things or not good whatever relation is the ship it is it's
not bringing you closer to God what is the purpose of which we are near for
well the Gulf close to God so it involves our relationship should be
involved in helping us grow in Christ and our Lord Jesus Christ now this is
radical in most people's thinking this was radical to me because I wasn't
taught this I had to sit down and that's what I've learned over the years is in
oh wait a minute I think one way is it biblical and now let's go to the
scripture I want to tell you it has saved me untold I guess pain and error
and having to apologize thinking one way and I said well it's
what does the scripture say isn't it sufficient for all of life I mean I mean
if it's gonna deal with anything with dealing with the relationships you know
the scripture ought to say yeah so it seems to be in me a radical way of
looking at things so what we're describing here is
spiritual oneness and this is how what you should be teaching to your kids in
my opinion now in that relationship you have a triangle and closer your
children's become to God easier it is for them to swallow what we're talking
about right here and I think the man's responsibility is leadership in the
relationship where the woman is that he says to was responsible being a
spiritual example and to challenge him now when we think about challenge we
think about I'm the king you know it doesn't mean challenge in the sense that
you kind of Duke him out or trying to challenge and be better challenge him in
the sense of spirituality okay I would say the primary thing would be more of
responding to his leadership now we're not well in dating
relationships were not looking at headship and Submission that's only for
marriage under the the lady is the girl is to submit to her father
until the day she's married submitting to the husband and of course there's a
transition period between there as in the engagement career but there is a
responding to I mean as I teach my kids I tell them you need look this is really
great puts the pressure on the guys in and the
mother and the father but if you have if you have daughters you ought to say you
need to look want look for one like your dad and if you've got boys you say you
need to find a woman like your mother why you can teach all these principles
but something really doesn't click until they see it in action see it in
experience oh yeah oh that's what that means and so you need to say well okay
what does that mean when we're talking about these responding to evening when
we do write what we do wrong perfect I wish we had time I have many verses that
I if I was teaching this as a course and we had five or six weeks we would be
going through all kinds of scriptures at this point I just don't have time to do
that now notice what the destroy spiritual
oneness it when intimacy is developed before spiritual intimacy a cloud of
guilt becomes what we do is we do it backwards we get involved physically we
look at the physical we say well she looks she's good-looking and therefore
she you're attracted only physically through the person and their physical
attributes and therefore it is on a physical relationship and you begin to
deal with the physical and you do nothing in the spiritual and it ends in
all kinds of guilt and problems I mean there are illustrations of great and
godly men of old who only corresponding with the lady through letters and the
first time they saw each other is when they were going to get married
had something in it but they knew who the person was there was a they had
spent a lot of times corresponding in talking with their new knowing each
other's heart involved with that on the next page on page 5 of Harmons four
total marriage he gothic breaks this up the spiritual soul and body and it's
alright but actually you never do something just in the spirit and
actually just in the soul or actually in physical we are we are complex in the
sense we all together but there is a sense of how it's broken up it is
important in the dating aspect or a relationship aspect when you're coming
together it should be first of all on the spiritual level primarily dealing
with the spiritual some of the mental and course will be involved their mental
I mean getting know who you are what you like and the setting the other but as
you enter into engagement you need to make sure you know this person I mean
what are the goals what makes them tick what are their hearts I mean what are
their weaknesses what are their strengths how can we come together is it
God's will for us to come together how is it that we will minister together
how will I complement how will I leave how will us coming together with calls
or more of a spiritual ministry for Jesus Christ and most people I teach
this this is a radical way of looking at things people don't usually look at
coming together in relationship I'm thinking of in the spiritual but when
they stop and think about it they go you know that's it
that's exactly right I mean that's that's biblical I never thought it I
mean I didn't until I got into college and started studying these things and
praise God I got it before I got married because I sure did it wrong before that
and all kinds of relationships and that's what attracted to me - my wife
Vicki and she was 100% she didn't get kind of
no little arts that she's older in life it's about 27 and and she he's like you
know my goodness man I've wasted my life and what can I do to serve the Lord and
she's been stimulating me ever since if she had the strength of all her mind of
what she would like to do I wouldn't be able to keep up with it
but being feeble in some of her physical ways you probably don't know that
because she just keeps going but thank God for her because of what she did and
her ministry well in the engagement period you deal more as she would say
the Solis attitude but then we want the intellect EE emotions and who you are
and finally and not until then that time you are married that you enter into the
physical aspect what do we do you know we start with a physical you know you
might get into a little bit of the emotions about what your purpose is and
what a job you're gonna get so I can make sure I'm taken care of and you
don't you know you think I don't know anything about spiritual until maybe
later on a marriage or you don't ever get there and that's why you even have
problems because we never got there we're all we've got all these hang-ups
already before we get into the spirit last but when it should have been based
upon that okay so Satan likes to put things backwards doesn't he always does
and runs into problems well sorry I had to blow through these things but look
I've got about 12 pages here so I won't get through all of them let me go
through a possible breakdown of a relationship when it's based upon the
physical with little mental emotional and spiritual aspects in a relationship
this doesn't mean this is exactly how it will happen
but what I say I'll say this this often happens I go through this because this
will help you in relationships they come together on the physical level and
disregard the needs for the spiritual and he begins to think
be attracted to her only on the physical lust basic what I mean you can dress it
up a nice fine clothes but it's just that she feels defrauding she seeks to
attract him through dress and action because that's how he gets she gets a
response from him and so the how she dresses and this that and the other
attracts him each rationalised lowering their
standards they withdraw from the group desiring to be alone more when you see a
couple starting a young couple young kids don't have me around here so I can
say that kids beginning to want to be alone and tall I want to do is being
there in the group but yet they're older by themselves that's boy the little
little things to say that's problems that's a real problem okay wrong moral
standards he begins to think about proving his love and fear of losing her
affections she begins to fear the men's opinion more concerned with the
evaluation of her with their own moral stance she begins to suppress her guilt
each is unable to discover the real self of the other why it's based on a lie or
a deception it's based on the physical and how I might be able to manipulate to
get what I want I mean people don't think this way I'm manipulating get one
they just do it okay they begin to reason define their moral skills you
know we love each other so we can do these things and we're going to get
married I mean how many times I've heard that from kids you know see seeds of
doubt begin to put him/her to distrust or bred in her response toward him he
quakes love with sexual attraction expresses his love to gain affection in
the involvement and then you begin to see a break he views marriage as an
acceptable way to meet his physical drive sexual love I mean yeah he likes
her loves her intently but it also there's a sexual drive he can't separate
she begins to and so he tells of his love for her only
when they had physical involvement when they get married she begins to
internally question her husband's love the only reason he loves me is what he
can get out of me she begins to feel used all you want to do is jump in the
bed with me I mean you're married oh I were married but you know there's a
feeling she may become frigid there's communication breakdown it begins to
involved he becomes angry had her coolness threatens to fulfill the
fulfillment of his physical drive so he becomes more argumentative he becomes
more demanding or he can withdraw depends on the person she senses an
inner guilt quits comes from her inward concerning what she has been unable to
fulfill in a row as a wife she withdraws she begins to worry she loses self
covenant or she becomes dominant depends on the woman he becomes concerned about
the need to regain her affection tries to prove his love to her so what does he
do he goes out and buys things for things they can't afford and now now
they're getting dead he attempts to appear happy and the financial problems
resolved she accepts the situation as it is he feels God is punishing her because
she isn't submissive or if she she married the wrong person and she begins
to substitute love for a husband for love for her children or love for things
or possessions or she goes at it begins to shop depends on her weakness or
whatever to find satisfaction what you do at this point in the game is that
you're gonna find satisfaction in your desires and you begin to go outside the
marriage to do it me and stay longer at the job or they begin to go to bars are
they gonna do something else and we're gonna find it that's where attraction
starts happening in the wrong way entertains thoughts that married he
married the wrong one begins to breathe seeds of unfaithfulness he goes his own
way attempts to find fulfillment in his work and or another
person she doesn't care she gives up she becomes hurt condemning critical
suspicious she can lash out or she could find fulfillment in another job outside
the home another something another society that the work or even the church
or another another man and this is not always how it happens but this happens
often in relationships and what you have to do is you have to swim upstream to
find the problem the source of the problem not just dealing with symptoms
you have to deal with symptoms at first but you got a swim upstream and you know
what it means it's on stream it's tough in it but it's the benefits are
wonderful if you can get upstream find the source of the problem now with the
short amount of time I have left let's look at this long chart on page 7
dealing with discerning the right life partner okay
again this is God's work and I think it's pretty good he deals with
relationships quite a bit the first requirement you should constantly teach
is I will only date and marry a growing Christian not just a Christian a growing
Christian the one that is concerned I always tell my kids how you mean what do
they want to do when they when you're with somebody they always talking about
how bored they are about frivolous things or do they want to talk do they
talk about Jesus you talk about the things of God I mean not that you have
to talk about them every minute but what is the heartbeat of that girl that you
are you're talking to is it serious does it talk about life that meaningful
sure you can talk about silly things I guess my wife and I do the time but is
that that is that the dominant thing saying what the guy
second Corinthians 6:14 is always a good one on that do not be unequally yoked
and notice the rationalizations that they you know well he's not a Christian
but he's a nice guy and he's a better gentleman than most christians I've
dated you can have all kinds of rationalizations here bottom line is the
most essential aspects to a total marriage is lost when there's no
spiritual union or the basis of spiritual intimacy a man must be the
spiritual leader I've had untold young married ladies come to me and said
listen if anybody ever wants to know what it's like to be married to an
unbeliever please send them to me okay I made that mistake I knew I was wrong now
if you were in a marriage and you got saved and the other one there I mean you
know that's the way it is but if you women with your eyes wide open just
because you got caught in an emotional relationship I've had ladies tell me
just sending the mate or guys seem synonym to me there is you can have a
relationship and you can have a fairly good one
but you cannot have the the the ultimate the cause of the spiritual okay
if you're both Christians and you have problems I mean you can get you can work
them through I mean with two believers come in and want to counsel with me I'd
say thanks for coming in I mean you have all the tools that you need to work this
problem for it because you're both pleased you just got some trappings like
everybody else there's nothing huh and we can work it through number two
what is what is the life go what does my life go I will relate dating and
marriage the purpose for my life what is the purpose of my life well to glorify
God to be dedicated to God Romans 12 verses 1 & 2 right I want to be placed
upon the altar of the Lord
number three I will not defraud the one that I date let's turn in our scriptures
this morning I know I haven't spent time on that but I want at least get into
some of it first Thessalonians chapter 4 beginning with verse 3 this is one of
the deep passages that you turn to dealing with sexual aspects and since we
have a problem with that in our society because of the new morality which is old
immorality we need to look at this passage there are many passages but this
one will be doing we will be good 1st Thessalonians chapter 4 verse 3 for this
is the will of God your sanctification you're progressing in in growing in
grace and knowledge of the Lord is what God wants he wants you to progressively
be set apart so that you sin less though you'll never be sinless until you get
the glory that is in this context Paul says that is that you abstain from
sexual immorality that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in
sanctification and honor I like the way scripture says things they say it's
that's beautiful ways he means don't don't be involved in using your body in
an immoral way being controlled you take fire in the bosom guess what he's gonna
get murdered okay I mean you just think that a young person think he can handle
the the fire of of the emotion of another of a relationship between a girl
and a boy and in the backseat of the car is crazy
and so we need to be under control so all that child training that you've been
involved in your kids life of teaching them control and make sure you know
external things are involved and your child cleaning are going to be
unbelievable stop gaps for your teenagers they have
learned if you are consistent with your child training from your two-year-old
when you know they're going to all the terrible twos not under control and
you're taking the physical outside things they now become internalized if
they're believers they have the Holy Spirit now they will have more control
than someone who did not have that pink lighter I mean you can still develop it
I'm just saying you are giving your kids even this moment and I mean a training
of self control because he's saying there make sure you possess your own
vessel in sanctification and setting apart from anything that's sinful and in
honor honoring that person not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do
not know God and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter
because the Lord is the Avenger of these things just as we told you before and
solemnly warned you for God has not called us for the purpose of impurity
but in sanctification holiness consequently he rejects this is not
rejecting man but God who gives the Holy Spirit to you first Corinthians chapter
6 12 through 26 to that and we could look at first Corinthians 7 and on but
we don't have time to do that but self-control not defrauding another
person in that another way it is check their home life that is a good
indication a man with a man tends to treat his wife like he treated his
mother a man has the the wife has a tendency to respond to her husband like
he did her father know it's not all the way but there is a tendency there
and so how do how does that young person treat their family and you see that the
the boy treats his father and mother in contempt and in disgust and in great
rebellion I'm sorry that's how he when he gets angry he doesn't get his way I
ain't gonna treat your daughter I mean illustrations I've over and over
have come to me and they said you know my mother did this to me and I'll never
do that I just smile and they come back to me sit and they just devastated I did
it in a moment of anger I did exactly what mother did to me and it wasn't
until they learned through the power of Holy Spirit and involved in God working
in the life too did that change now you got good things to a pity I just picked
the bad one there so how do they treat what's the harmony in the home okay
how do they treat each other in the home I tell you that has a great deal of do
of how they will treat the other person and of course there's a proper timing I
was 24 years old when I married Vicki and I was living in home because I was a
pharmacist and I just enjoy being at home I was trying to play rent and I
told my folks when I came home I had me a job we gonna back at my hometown and
you know my first job I've been a pharmacist you know I said I can live
anywhere I wanted even pick an apartment I said now I'd rather live at home mom
but I won't I'm gonna pay rent you know I think I knew cuz they weren't gonna
let me I knew that I just made my folks are no no you know I demand it and so he
came back that feel curve hit me because he only I only had to pay $50 a month
he said nope nope but this way I want you know I got you know I should have
said I want to pay this amount because they just wanted me around but anyway it
wasn't because I was at home that I did this I did it because I knew a biblical
principle I would not have married Vicki as my folks ever I don't think she's one
I just want to know my parents will lie for me they're little older than I am
they've been through this little longer and I asked him I said listen I'm in the
forest and you can see the whole forest you know Vicki she grew up in this home
town I grew up in this house you know our family situations what do you think
and I tell that to my boys says we don't we're not here to be killjoy we've been
down the road and we say we don't think this is the one we don't say it to hurt
you is it because we love you and parents
are not always right but I tell young people if your parents even if they're
not belief I mean if you are a believer in she's a believer in your relationship
and how you treat one another I mean they artists even unbelievers are like
that you know man who has a job and goes out there and preached you nice I mean
every unbelieving father would love that so if they're if they say no don't take
it necessarily as no but it's definitely a wait can't you wait till dog would
change now there are exceptions to this and one of the exceptions is if the
parents say I don't want you to marry me because he's a Christian and the only
reason why is he's a Christian well that's no reason you know and that
sometimes happens I don't want you to be a Christian I don't want to marry you
Christian and I would think exceptions that we
would have to counsel on that could be involved I hope you can look at the rest
of the material I have there I have in there love what effect infatuation what
is infatuation and what's not this is going to help young people what
infatuation is what the true love is a little chapter you know dealing with the
description of first Corinthians 13 what a fella looks for a girl I mean you can
add to this and what a a guy looks in it what a girl looks like god I mean I tell
you know that standards you're looking for for that lady I tell them if you if
it's a girl I say well if if you're looking for a man this way if these
spiritual qualities then you're gonna have to have the same qualities too
because I mean why would he want you if you don't want the same quality so the
very qualities you're looking in a man or woman if you're looking for a wife or
the same ones you might have because you're not going to track the same kind
of person well I know this has been too fast but I hope of giving you some
helpful anything information and again say Josh McDowell and big date book on
why weight is a good book that you can further study in this area lord I thank
you for our time together and rejoice in the goodness of your hand and we pray
father that we may teach our children the things about relationships and that
they may grow up to be godly children and have a wonderful marriage and be a
great couple for Jesus Christ and Lord we lift that to you in Jesus name Amen
well next week Steve Ralphie
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