Hey!
Have you guys noticed how internet is full of tutorials on how to be the best Pokemon
trainer, EV train this, Shiny chain that, but what about being the worst one?
I mean if you ever wanted to be a Team Rocket grunt or just another youngster Then you definitely
don't need a guide on how to be the best, or good for that matter, but rather how to
be the worst Pokemon trainer!
Luckily for you, I'm here to teach you just that.
So here is how I became the worst Pokemon trainer.
All you gotta do is repeat what Im doing and you'll get there in no time.
It helps if your English sucks!
Actually, that's all you need.
But you can also just NOT use your brain, it does the trick as well.
So here is how I did it when I first started playing.
My first game was Pokemon Sapphire, and while I didn't understand English much at the
time, I knew how to count to 10 and say "hi", I saw a Pokemon game for the first time, and
figured I should give it a try since I was a huge fan, how bad can it be right?
It can't be that bad.
Well, I was right, it wasn't that bad…it was worse, and here's why.
Ok so I'm gonna skip the beginning because it's just downright embarrassing.
How embarrassing you ask?
Well let's just say that a small town called Littleroot town had a total of three houses,
and it took me over half an hour to find the lab.
Which was also the biggest building out of three.
I mean it could have had flashy signs pointing at it and I'd still probably be bumping
into trees like an idiot.
So, moving on forward, my next station was Oldale town, where a dude didn't let me
pass through, till he's done making a sketch of footprints left by a rare Pokemon.
Now, at the time, I had no idea what footprints meant.
I saw the part that said prints, something prints, so I figured he dropped his papers
so he has to gather them before I can continue.
So what do I do?
I check out every NPC and every house and every bookshelf in search for prints or whatever
he was looking for only to find a load of nothing.
And that was all before I realized there was a road leading to the north of the town.
Which is yet another part I'll be skipping since it took me an embarrassing amount of
time before I found my way to May.
Even though there were only two patches of grass between me and her…I don't even
know how I managed to get lost so many times.
Long story short, I did it, and the scientist let me pass.
I figured he finally collected his papers and now I'm good to go.
And honestly, I'm glad I thought that's what happened.
I mean, in my version at least he was some clumsy dude who dropped his stuff on the ground,
rather than being a "scientist", who blocked my way so he could sketch HIS OWN footprints.
I mean I'm not sure who was a better example of a low IQ at that point.
Moving on, I found myself on an island, in a Dewford..dewford…is that how you pronounce
it?
Dewford…yeah Dewford town, and I'm supposed to find a cave, and there is a guy, Steven,
inside the cave, and I'm supposed to bring a letter to him.
I mean I don't understand what they were thinking giving a letter to a 12 year old
to deliver it to the deepest end of a God forgotten cave but hey, if a kid can own a
giant legendary whale, he can sure as hell go to a cave alone as well.
Well, this probably works when you know what you are doing….which I didn't.
So I'm in the cave, right?
And I received this thing, HM aka Hidden Machine 05, aka Flash.
Problem?
I had no idea what HM meant, what these CDs were for, and what Flash meant as a word to
begin with.
Granted, even if I knew what Flash meant, it wouldn't help much since I didn't see
a connection between teaching my Pokemon an attack and something that pretty much looked
like a CD.
Like what do I do with it?
Feed it to Pokemon?
Plus I didn't need it.
I mean I can see the entire room…well, I could, until I climbed down the ladder.
Suddenly that "entire room" was minimized to a very small circle, with everything else
being dark.
But that small circle..it was lit man.
[BADUMTSSSS].
pfft So from there, I bumped into every single rock there was, I had no idea what I was doing,
and in real life I would have had at least 10 concussions, several broken bones and less
will for life than a Metapod wearing an everstone and knowing only how to Harden.
And all those Zubats attacking me?
Yeah they were probably the ones running away from me rampaging all over the cave.
Anyway, if I recall correctly, this is a part where I gave up on the game and restarted
it about 3 times within a month cos I wasn't going anywhere with it, and the only thing
levelling up was my frustration.
But yeah, I finally found my way, gave Steven his letter, and we went our separate ways.
Well, he did it least.
I on the other hand got lost again on my way out.
Spent yet another eternity battling Zubats and trying to get out seeing nothing but two
pixels away from my nose.
Oh but Sven, why didn't you use an escape rope?
Well, my friend, because, while I did have it with me at the time, I had no idea whatsoever
what the word "escape" meant.
Brilliant, right?
That's why not knowing English helps you became the greatest worst trainer ever.
Also, the escape rope icon looked like food to me.
So there's that as well.
Oh but Sven, why didn't you just use a dictionary?
Well again, my friend, there was no need for that, since 12 year old me thought he was
the smartest person alive and didn't need help to play some pokemon game for some Gameboy.
I was too proud, too good, and too lazy.
Oh and by the way, wanna know what was my first Pokemon's nickname?
It was AAAAAAAAAA.
Cos I had no idea how to exit the nicknaming screen.
How awesome is that.
But it was probably the most appropriate name too, since that was probably the only thing
my Mudkip could have been saying while travelling with me.
So yeah, that is how my journey in Hoenn region started.
First game, first region, first questioning of my own intelligence, and that's only
the tip of the iceberg.
So yeah, thanks for watching, make sure to subscribe if you want to see more.
Be active, stay in motion, and I'll see ya next time.
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