SCP-3301 "THE FOUNDATION" Testing Logs Part 2
Log ID: 3301|021
Participants: Sgt. (S.) Kadowski and Cpl. Winston, Agent Chang and Agent Arch of MTF
Gamma-4, Sgt. Wyte and Agent (D.) Kadowski, Agent Samson and Agent Karlyle of DTF Sigma-6,
Agent Peterson and Agent Quinzeen of MTF Eta-10, Researcher Pentach and D-93017.
Game Board: Imbrium Crater
Winner: None. (See game summary.)
Victory Condition: None.
Difficulty Setting: Apollyon.
Runtime: 0h 10m 00 seconds
Payout: None.
Game Summary: The game was set within the Mare Imbrium crater, with an unmanned facility
located in the approximate centre of the map. Each player's "containment facility" featured
an underground portion with a high-speed rail tunnel connecting to the central facility;
they were otherwise wholly independent from each-other.
At the start of the game, a flare of light occurred on the board and a ten-minute countdown
appeared above the primary players; secondary players reported that the sun was undergoing
a supernova event. All secondary players reported impediment or ailment: Agent Arch and Agent
Quinzeen reported blindness; Cpl. Winston and Agent (D.) Kadowski reported flu symptoms
and severe fever; Agent Karlyle reported nausea, internal pain and difficulty moving; D-93017
reported all symptoms.
Researcher Pentach equipped D-93017 with the Blue Card "████ ███", manifesting
a human male with no apparent in-game function; the entity was amnesic and was mostly unaware
of the game in progress. Researcher Pentach directs D-93017 towards the underground rail
tunnel; D-93017, impeded by blindness and severe fever, repeatedly ignored directions
and travelled in incorrect directions. At the end of the turn, Researcher Pentach drew
the Black Card "Eternal Interest", forcing him to discard one card every turn or D-93017
would be automatically killed. (Time remaining: 9m 27s.)
Sgt. (S.) Kadowski used the Yellow Card "Never Overestimate The Use of SCPs", to grant his
team $500. Cpl. Winston was then instructed to find a spacesuit before Sgt. (S.) Kadowski
drew to end his turn. (Time remaining: 9m 20s.)
Agent Samson equipped Agent Karlyle with the Red Card "Rayman's Laygun", then directed
them to the medical wing of their facility. Agent Samson drew the Black Card "Chaos Hole"
at the end of their turn, permanently disabling their high-speed rail. (Time remaining: 9m
11s.)
Agent Peterson equipped Agent Quinzeen with the Red Card "Anti-matterman's Perfecto-suit",
enabling them to traverse the lunar surface. Agent Quinzeen's training with cognitohazards
assisted them in navigating despite blindness, and they reach the surface exit. Agent Peterson
draws the Black Card "Neutralised", expending "Anti-matterman's Perfecto-suit".
Agent Chang instructed Agent Arch to find supplies; impeded by blindness, they encountered
the Supreme Divine Orange Card "Mysterious Mega-Malicious Meta-Meme", which immediately
killed them. (Time remaining: 9m 05s.)
Sgt. Wyte equipped Agent (D.) Kadowski with the Red Card "Night Vision Goggles". Agent
(D.) Kadowski discovered and equipped themselves with the Red Card "Spacesuit", enabling them
to traverse the lunar surface. Sgt. Wyte then drew the Purple Card "Mr. Redd O. P. Discontinued
C. P.", which attacked and killed Agent (D.) Kadowski. (Time remaining: 8m 54s.)
Researcher Pentach equipped D-93017 with the Red Card "Map Map", enabling them to see (but
not identify) all active cards on the map. An Orange Card — assumed to be the second
Supreme Divine entity spawned on the fourth turn — was seen navigating towards D-93017.
Researcher Pentach directed D-93017 to the high-speed rail, but D-93017 again failed
to follow instructions.
At this point, Researcher Pentach attempted to cheat by introducing a foreign card — "Pot
of Greed", from the Yu-Gi-Oh card game — to the game. SCP-3301 accepted the card, dispensing
two cards; both cards were copies of the Black Card "Pot of Weed", forcing Researcher Pentach
to immediately draw two more cards for each. All four drawn cards were additional copies
of "Pot of Weed"; all cards that Researcher Pentach drew using "Pot of Weed" were, invariably,
additional copies of "Pot of Weed".
Researcher Pentach's behaviour rapidly degraded in a manner indicative of a psychoactive drug
overdose; upon reaching 256 copies of "Pot of Weed", Researcher Pentach became incapable
of any further action, apparently lapsing into a vegetative state. Other players were
unable to execute any tasks, as Researcher Pentach had been unable to end their turn.
Once the timer reached zero, the entire map — and all items and players on it — was
simultaneously vaporised, ending the game with no victor and no payout.
Notable Cards Drawn:
Card Color: Blue
Card Title: blank
Subtitle:blank
Type: Companion
Description: blank
Stats: blank ATK / blank DEF / blank HP
Card Color: Black
Card Title: Pot of Weed
Description: THERE IS A PLACE IN HELL FOR CHEATERS AND A HOLE JUST YOUR SIZE. Draw two
cards, but you still take damage.
Effect: The player draws two cards, and begins experiencing symptoms of psychoactive drug
exposure; each successive use of "Pot of Weed" increases the intensity of these symptoms.
Card Color: Purple
Card Title: Mr. Redd O. P. Discontinued C. P.
Subtitle: The King of Crimson
Type: Wondertainment
Description: The unrecallable and sinister Mr. Redd! Able to attack from a distance with
a -1 ATK debuff per space between him and his target! Ignores DEF when attacking! Able
to equip Red Cards from defeated players! Best before: encountered!
Stats: 40 ATK / 20 DEF / 60 HP
Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts
[BEGIN LOG]
Agent Chang: I'm telling you, it's between me and Cap'. You lot are too soft.
Researcher Pentach: I'm just as soft as you are. None of us have played this before.
Sgt. Kadowski: The map is home turf for us - low grav, vacuum. You landlubbers aren't
trained for it.
Sgt. Wyte: "Land lobbers!" Just because your team's named after a pirate, doesn't mean
-
Cpl. Winston: (Distant) Could we begin, please?
Researcher Pentach: Alright alright, I'll draw my -
Agent Samson: Sweet easter, what the hell was that? You alright down there Doug?
Agent Karlyle: (Distant) Fuck me. I feel like I got hit by a train, and the fucking sun
exploded.
D-93017: (Distant) The hell have you done to me! I can't see shit!
Agent Samson: The fucking — Oh shit, timer. Hurry up Pentach, we've only got ten minutes.
Researcher Pentach: Don't call me Pentach. You call me Kyle, or Researcher Pentach, or
you don't -
Agent Peterson: Just shut up and do something.
Researcher Pentach: I'll use, uh… the hell does this thing do? The card is just blacked
out.
D-93017: (Distant) Who — Who's there? Who are you?
Summoned Entity: … I don't know. Who are you?
Researcher Pentach: There's something coming your way. Go west four — no, west you fucking
— turn the fuck around! The other fucking way!
Agent Chang: (Laughter)
Researcher Pentach: Shut up, this isn't fucking fair and you know it.
Agent Peterson: It is plenty fair. You've just been particularly unlucky.
Researcher Pentach: Fuck this.
Sgt. Wyte: Hey, you can't do that!
Researcher Pentach: Oh really? Then why did it just work?
Sgt. Kaderowski: Pentach. That's cheating.
Researcher Pentach: Kiss my ass. Lets see what… Fuck, both black… wait… why are
these Black Cards?
Agent Chang: What are they?
Researcher Pentach: Same thing, twice; I draw two cards for each. But why is it…
Agent Samson: Wondertainment don't make many mistakes. They're black for a reason.
Researcher Pentach: Hoo, pulled… four more of 'em. Sweet.
Researcher Pentach: Hey… hey it's… it's more of them…
Sgt. Kadowski: Are you ok, Kyle?
Researcher Pentach: (Slurred) Y-yeah, I'm… I'm… whoo, more pots… p-ot…
Sgt. Wyte: Pentach, stop. This isn't — no, stop -
Researcher Pentach: (Heavily slurred) Fuggoff… my turn… p-o-t, he… he he he he… weed.
We-ee-ee-ed.
Agent Samson: Pentach, stop, this isn't…
Researcher Pentach: (Incoherent mumbling, gurgling)
Cpl. Winston: (Distant) What's going on up there? Is it our turn yet?
Sgt. Kadowski: Pentach has had an… event, and looks like he won't be continuing. I'll
—
???: Please wait for the previous player to end their turn.
Sgt. Kadowski: … Damn it.
Agent Chang: You're fucking joking. He can't, he's fucking…
Agent Kadowski: (Distant) The explosion is… getting very close now. Are you sure there
is nothing that can be done?
???: Please wait for the previous player to end their turn.
Agent Quinzeen: (Distant) It's getting really warm in here, you know.
Sgt. Wyte: And three, two, one…
Agent Chang: And we all fucking loose, god fucking damn it Kyle. Perfect fucking map
to sort out who'se best, time limit for pressure, and you had to fucking ruin it.
Researcher Pentach: (Slurred) Hey, it's… not my, not my fault…
Agent Peterson: Shut up. You always fucking ruin everything, Pentach. Get the fuck out.
Additional Note/s:
Researcher Pentach appears to have been banned from participating in future games; despite
all attempts for Researcher Pentach to function as a primary or secondary player, SCP-3301
will uniformly treat them as a spectator of the initiating game. It is currently unknown
when this ban will expire, if at all.
Log ID: 3301|028
Participants: Dr. King and D-93017, Researcher John and D-85493
Game Board: Appleseeds
Winner: Dr. King and D-93017
Victory Condition: Mr. Appleseeds
Difficulty Setting: Safe
Runtime: 75h 43m 29 seconds
Payout: 400,000 appleseeds
Game Summary:
Map was a flat, featureless plane comprised entirely of appleseeds; only the top ten centimetres
of appleseeds were loose, with the remainder compacted into a solid surface.
All cards in both player's hands are variously coloured copies of "Appleseed".
Dr. King uses a Green Card "Appleseed." A single appleseed manifests in the air next
to D-93017. D-93017 begins searching the map; Dr. King draws a Black Card "Appleseed", manifesting
another single appleseed next to D-93017.
Researcher John equips D-85493 with a Blue Card "Appleseed"; a single appleseed manifests
in D-85493's hand. Researcher John draws a Red Card "Appleseed".
No remarkable events occurred for the following seventy-five consecutive hours, as all cards
drawn and encountered on the map were universally colour variants of "Appleseed"; although Researcher
John and Dr. King could identify map tiles containing Orange or Purple "Appleseed" cards,
D-93017 and D-85493 were unable to distinguish their in-game appearance from other loose
apple seeds.
The game abruptly ended when Dr. King equipped D-93017 with a Red Card "Appleseed", thereby
filling all available slots with various copies of "Appleseed" and achieving the previously
unknown "Mr. Appleseed" victory condition. The room SCP-3301 was used in was progressively
filled with an estimated 400,000 apple seeds following the conclusion of the game.
Notable Cards Drawn:
Card Color: Varied.
Card Title: Appleseed
Subtitle: Seed of Apple
Type: Seed
Description: An appleseed. Nothing personal, Mr. King — it's just the rules.
Stats: 00 ATK / 00 DEF / 00 HP
Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts
[BEGIN LOG]
Researcher John: It'll be fine. Just play a round with us, ok?
Dr. King: We both fucking know what's going to happen.
Researcher John: Come on, it's a card game. There's no way…
Researcher John: Eighty-five, what… what are you standing on?
D-85493: It's apple seeds. Just apple seeds for miles.
Dr. King: (Incoherent yelling)
Researcher John: Calm down, just draw your cards and we'll - oh boy.
Dr. King: It's apple seeds, isn't it? All the cards are apple seeds, aren't they?
Researcher John: I'm so sorry.
Dr. King: I've drawn my hand. Oh boy, I wonder what I'll pick? I wonder what card I'll use
first?
Dr. King: (Shouting) Oh I know, I'll fucking use an apple seed! That will fucking work!
Thats perfect! Perfect thing to use in a field filled to the fucking brim with fucking APPLE
SEEDS!
Dr. King: (Muffled sobbing)
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