Greetings and welcome to Awakening With Brahma Kumaris.
Welcome, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti and welcome to Soul Reflections.
Thank you.
We discussed an important point in the last episode.
When there is a problem in relationship between two people
And we involve third person into it, for example
Suppose my daughter is having a hard time with her husband - suppose he is abusive, or has wrong habits
Apart from caring for her
What happened was that an unwanted energy was getting into the situation.
Because it is not a positive one. It is about criticizing how bad he is.
We say she is so soft and sweet by nature. He is so rough.
It is an unnecessary and never ending energy which we create towards them.
You said this is unnecessary energy.
It is not only unnecessary energy, it is damaging energy.
Damaging and depleting.
We need to remember that it is entirely a game of vibrations.
In every situation and in every problem
And in every relationship we need to focus only on one thing
About the vibration which this problem, issue or relationship is getting.
And as it starts getting vibrations
Things happen in that direction.
If there is a problem and the situation gets more negative energy
The problem will aggravate.
And if there is a problem but all of us together start radiating pure energy to it
The problem will weaken.
Like we saw last time, there is a relationship issue between two souls.
The energy between two souls should be restricted to the energy only between those two souls.
As far as possible we should not discuss small scenes of life with others
Otherwise we add their energy into it.
I agree to an extent.
But if there is a group which wants to set things right for you
There the first thing that discuss is about that person - they will say he is so bad
They will discuss what he did, and say that is the reason we get together to pray together
Even for them to do meditation they should first discuss the reason why they are doing.
Because that man is not right, things have to be set right.
If we are going to together do meditation
That is also very good.
That we are collectively creating a very good energy.
But what did we create before and after that?
Before - they create that this is how bad he is. And after - they create a thought of hope that he should change.
Collectively we are praying, meditating and sending a focused energy
During normal conversations what energy are we sending?
We are discussing the problem as it is.
We should not discuss the problem.
The problem is not even being discussed as it is, we magnify it. 50 people are talking about it.
And everybody is adding his Sanskar to it.
If we discuss any issue with 5 people
One soul might have the habit of magnifying it.
So he will magnify the energy of that situation.
Another soul may have the habit of criticizing.
He will criticize the two people who have an issue in their relationship.
The third person may have a habit of creating fear.
So he will start creating fear of what will happen to that relationship.
Whether there is so future in that relationship or not.
This is how we speak when we get together as a family.
Everyone contributes his perception.
Suppose the fourth person has a Sanskaar of worrying.
He will radiate that vibration.
Then all this vibration comes together.
And then if they all collectively decide to pray or meditate
How long will the prayer meditate for? 2 minutes.
Or 5 minutes? That is very good.
Good to do it, but what else should they pay attention to?
Throughout the day during their normal conversations
We cannot create negative energy.
Discussing the problem exactly the way it actually is
Also means we are aggravating the problem.
This is very very important and very subtle.
We have seen since so many episodes
We say that whatever is the reality, we can look at it only that way.
But if we start looking at it the way it presently is
Then the current vibration of that situation
We create more vibrations of the same quality
And thus magnify or multiply the same vibrations.
The situation complicates further.
Suppose we check at a physical level that there is a stain on your dress.
That stain is present and that is the reality.
But if I look at that stain and think about that stain
And discuss with others about that stain
People who had not noticed it earlier will also start noticing now.
Very good, now what is the vibration of those 5 people who noticed?
Their vibration now is about the stain. Earlier their vibration was that it is a clean dress.
Now vibration of those 5 people is - There is a stain on his dress.
When 5 more vibrations get added
Then the stain also magnifies.
So instead of getting solved, the problem gets multiplied.
Now let us take this one step at a time.
About how to handle it.
First - the issue between any two souls
As much as possible it should remain between those two only.
Suppose 4 people live in your house.
When there are four people, difference of opinion is obvious.
There will be discussions but those discussions remain within the four of you.
But if one of them shares it with other people
What happened and what all of you discussed
What did outsiders think about you earlier?
That the relationship between the four of you is very beautiful.
That your family is united.
So what was the vibration you got from other people?
That you are united and that yours is a very beautiful family.
What will these vibrations do to your relationship?
They make it more beautiful.
This means you are getting other people's blessings.
Where I am automatically creating I thought about your family that all your relationships at home and beautiful.
That it is a nice family and in today's times it is rare to find such families where people are united.
The two generations of people live together in the same house.
Whenever we get to know any family which lives like this
We say things like - it is so beautiful that 8 of you live together.
When people ask me where I live or where my son lives, I just tell them we all live with my mother.
What vibration will people getting this message, radiate?
That all of you have retained good Sanskars even in today's times.
So what did you invite into your house?
Vibrations of blessings.
Vibrations of positivity and power.
These vibrations increase your unity further.
Everyone is creating a thought that you are so united.
You mentioned it to 5 or 10 people, and they will further share it with 5 or 10 more people.
That so many people live together in that house.
That it is a beautiful and united family.
So hundred people give their blessings.
Suppose out of four people, one of them
Shared with somebody outside your house, that there is a problem at home.
The problem is very small but the moment it was shared even with one person
It might just be a difference of opinion or a small argument that happened.
But the moment somebody outside the house got to know about it
That one person creates a thought - they don't get along with each other.
He creates only one thought.
Until then what thought was that person creating about your family?
That your family is so united.
Right now his thought is - they don't get along with each other.
The energy coming to your house immediately changed.
You are mentioning about third party.
Till today I have never mentioned about any differences of opinion between me and my wife, to anyone. Even my son does not know.
My son says he wants to live with his wife that way.
He says he has never seen such a couple.
Because not once have I complained to him about his mother.
This is important.
So what vibration have you been getting from everybody?
That this is a beautiful couple.
At the same time it may not be true that you have never had differences of opinion with your wife at all.
We have had differences at least a thousand times.
But in all those thousand times, the differences arose between the two of you
Even if we have differences in front of children, we immediately discuss, resolve and finish the matter there.
We never complain to our children that your mother is like this or your father is like that.
Children have never heard it from us.
When people outside your house come to know of it
If I tell someone - my wife is like this.
And if my wife says to someone - my husband is like that.
It could be a very small quarrel in the morning.
It started and it got over also.
When we tell somebody else that we had a quarrel and the other person scolded
After that we don't go back and update them that now everything is fine between us.
We only inform them in the morning when the issue happened because we were hurt at that time.
Because the mind was heavy we wanted to share it with someone.
As soon as we told someone, we invited another energy into our relationship.
The issue between the two people will get resolved by evening.
But the third person with whom it was shared.
If his energy did not change
That became a constant vibration coming into your house.
A label gets created that you both do not get along with each other.
Label that you keep quarreling among yourselves.
And everyone else also will radiate their vibrations through that label.
If a relationship starts getting this vibration
What happens to that relationship?
The relationship gets knotted because everyone's energy is coming into it.
Instead of putting off the fire, we are adding fuel.
When fire breaks, when we inform somebody about it
The person who had has only created one thought - that it has caught fire.
Even that thought intensifies the fire.
So we have to be extremely careful on this.
Because again another reason
Because so many souls around us, whether they are family or friends.
We are not very empowered at this time.
They are unable to create pure and powerful thoughts, once they consume a particular piece of information.
We cannot share our problems and issues with such souls.
You had once mentioned that when we go to a professional or psychiatrist
They are at least professionals who are detached
Since they are not related, they will listen to the whole thing like a third party.
And they will get the solution out of you.
Moreover they will not create any thoughts regarding your issue.
And once you leave his room
He will not even remember you.
Which means you are not inviting energy into your problem.
The most important aspect is
Is to always take care that we don't need additional energy invited into our problem.
I don't want anybody else is vibration coming into this problem.
The fewer people come to know about this problem, the better.
Do not invite people's opinion into your problem.
My mother taught me to not make excuses for if I cannot or do not want to attend an event. She told me to never tell someone I am unwell and hence I cannot make it to the occasion.
She said such things are never to be spread.
Why shouldn't we spread?
Because otherwise what thought will hundred people create about you?
That you are ill, you are sick, you unwell.
So many people have this experience
That when we speak a lie
When we make an excuse
That excuse becomes reality.
Yes something happens to the person, he may even have a fall.
Yes but how is this possible?
When we make an excuse for not going somewhere, and when we lie to someone about it
The excuse that we make
That itself becomes reality.
Who makes it happen but?
Maybe like they say - a lie repeated hundred times becomes the truth?
Who makes it a reality?
Our own vibrations Plus all of their vibrations
Those vibrations make it a reality.
This clarifies about the power of what vibrations we need to invite into our life.
We need to invite only and only blessings from other people.
By discussing our problems we should not invite the opposite of blessings.
Because people listen to our problem as it is and think accordingly.
And speak to others also about our problems.
So more vibrations of problems radiate back to us.
So we need not invite it.
So the first step is that whatever is happening in our relationship with somebody
We should not discuss it with anyone else.
We should not add more vibrations to it.
Also we should not add the perspective of other people's Sanskar into it.
Can you explain that?
When we share it with somebody he will add a perspective based on his Sanskars.
He will add a thought?
He will give his opinion
So he will share his opinion, and maybe she thinks like - the world has become this way, even we have arguments at home, I don't speak to my wife for 3 days after a conflict, and so on.
So they have some or the other opinion about the matter.
Nobody says that they cannot help.
They always say that they can solve enter can understand our problem.
When all these perspectives are added through their sanskars
And the advice given through it, does it empower the other person?
I met a friend at a friend at a party and asked her how she is doing. She complained about her husband.
After sometime her husband came. As soon as I saw him I created negative thoughts for him.
Superficially I exchanged pleasantries.
But I sent so many negative thoughts for him.
To whom did you send?
You didn't send it only to her husband. You sent it to their relationship.
Okay.
This is important.
So by telling me, my friend spoiled her relationship.
Because she shared with you, you automatically created negative thoughts for her husband.
Yes it was at a party and he was late. So she spoke to me in detail about what was going on.
And the moment I saw him I created wrong thoughts.
And you don't even know what the truth is.
It is very important because you don't know what is the truth.
We have heard only one perspective.
If you take out 5 minutes and sit with the husband
You will get a completely different perspective.
We should never listen to just one perspective.
No they don't lie to us.
They never lie but they are only sharing about their hurt.
About only their pain.
Whatever they can see through their perspective, is what they share.
As per their Karmic account whatever is happening from their side, that they will not share.
My son's friend complained to him about me saying - your dad would talk to me very lovingly earlier, but now he avoids me.
When my son shared it with me I explain to him about whatever had happened.
Until then my son knew only his friend's perspective.
This happens in every case.
We should never create thoughts based on one person's perspective.
When we don't like somebody's behaviour
We feel uncomfortable about it and share it with other people.
And we never feel we are wrong.
We feel the other person is wrong.
We find the other person Sanskar wrong. We feel our Sanskar is fine and normal.
So one is that we don't share our problems with people. And the other is to not create thoughts based on one person's perspective.
Don't create a perspective based on one person's views.
This is applicable for relationships and also applicable for leaders of organisations.
For example you have 5 staff members working in your house.
If one of them complains to you about the other
Don't take a decision based on his views.
If you listen to him and come to a decision
The rabbit chances that your decision will not be right.
You should not even listen when that one person is sharing with you.
Tell them - both of you come to me and then we will discuss.
Once both of you are here, let us discuss and see what happens.
Listening to only one person is actually a waste of time and energy.
If you are an organisational leader.
Or a team leader and if you need to resolve a problem.
You will need to listen to both of them.
But even after listening to both of them, some of them have a personality
Suppose the wife goes on saying - he did this, he did that.
The husband might just keep quiet looking at the amount of lies she is making up
He just becomes silent.
That is fine but the point is if you have that role in an organisation
Yes it happens in our house where one staff complains about the other.
At that time don't listen to just one person.
Bring both of them together to speak.
Sometimes we listen to one person, send him back, and then call the second person.
We should make both of them share their perspectives in front of each other.
I just tell the person to leave and tell him I will explain to the other person.
The first step is - if there is an issue between the two of us, we should not discuss it with anyone else.
With the clarity that we need not invite more vibrations.
Second is - if we are on the listening side where somebody is sharing with us about their problems
Don't create your perspective based on one person's views.
And don't advise the person based on the perspective of your Sanskar.
Even if somebody sharing something with you, practice the art
Practice the art of not creating a perspective.
You shared that your friend complaint about her husband
Practice the art of not creating a single thought here for her husband.
Which means whatever was your opinion about him
It should not change here after you listen to what she had to say.
This applies even to news magazines and newspapers
Because they publish news based on one person's views.
Often they don't talk to the other party involved.
They just quote somebody's words and leave it at that.
It will not have the other person's point of you.
And when everybody reads that information
Everybody's opinion about that person starts changing.
It is an art and it is very simple to do it.
Whether you are reading something or listening to someone about someone else.
Where you listen about a person but your thoughts about him don't change.
Sometimes we believe it to be true and put a label on that person.
We should not do that. We have to practice it because people are going to share about others.
Because they are part of your family or maybe your children. So they will come and share with you.
But your first point of cooperation to the problem is
Do not create a vibration for that problem.
That was about media but when people are sharing something with us
It is applicable everywhere.
When it is happening through media it is visible to us
That someone has shared it, we read it
And it became our perspective also.
And we realise that from today we should not repeat it.
If we look at it at a subtler level - off when one person tells us about another person
I listen to him and I also create thoughts about that person.
I should not do it, because then I am adding to the conflict.
What is my role?
If somebody tells me about another person, let us understand what a counselor does.
She listens as a detached person. It means
The counselor does not create a negative thought about the other person.
Always remembers that both of their perspectives will be different.
If we have to resolve any issue within the family
Or among kids, what we need to do is
We need to add white energy into that black energy.
We need to add white energy.
If we get to know about a problem in relationships
Especially within our family or among our kids
Then the problem which we hear is black in colour.
But we cannot add more black to the existing black colour.
But we can add white to that black.
Which means suppose children complain about their spouse
You immediately will need to create a white thought.
We have seen about it in the last few episodes.
How do we create white thoughts towards that person?
What is the specific thought or blessing to give?
Suppose your child tells you - my spouse scolded me
He quarrelled a lot today. He snubs me for everything
Now you have to immediately add a white thought.
What thought will you immediately create?
That he or she is a peaceful soul.
The person is a loving soul and this relationship is always very beautiful.
Add a white thought immediately.
This is a practice which we must and should do.
So that black goes towards white
Black does not get blacker.
Anyone can apply to any problem and see the results.
Whether it is a problem at office, in business or in a relationship
If somebody shares a problem with you
You add your blessings
You add your blessings to that problem.
Which means as soon as you listen, your first thought has to be white.
You mentioned about a group which meditates
It is very beautiful but they are not doing it as soon as they hear the problem.
If a child comes and shares a problem we say - everything will be fine and I will pray for you.
I am sure that basically the person is very good.
These things happen occasionally.
I will pray and everything will be 100% fine.
This is how we tell children.
We need to create a vibration of the reality that we want.
If hundred people create a thought - He is unwell
We fall ill in reality.
Likewise if a hundred people create a thought - He is fine.
Then we will really be fine.
Similarly if 100 people create a thought - Their relationship is very beautiful
Then that relationship will indeed become beautiful.
So as soon as we listen to a problem, the immediate thought should be a white thought.
It should not be that we create several black thoughts, and then say we will meditate for them.
And after we are done with meditation
We should not again create black thoughts.
If the first thought is white
Then the series of thoughts after that
They will also be white. After that throughout the day we can consciously give them white thoughts
This relationship is beautiful. The soul is very pure.
She is very loving and very powerful.
Honest, loyal and sincere.
Just give them a shower of blessings.
Shower them with your blessings.
Thank you, Sister.
Let us shower people with blessings.
Always remember that our blessings
Our blessings can create miracles.
Thank you, Sister.
Om Shanti.
Om Shanti.
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