Cathy: So do you ever wanted to run a workshop  and facilitate something and just didn't know
  what to do?
  We're going to give you some really good tips  here.
  I'm Cathy Vartuli from the intimacy Dojo.com  and I'm here with Monique Darling and Peter
  Petersen from EverydayTantra.com.
  Cathy: Thanks so much for being here.
  Monique: Thanks for having us.
  And we're super excited to invite you to a  weekend intensive getting to dive into the
  basically how we lived our life for the past  10 years and really getting to dive into what
  makes an amazing facilitated events.
  Cathy: Yeah, I know that when I would go to  events when I was new into the community or
  watch, ah...
  I really wish I could do that.
  That looks so cool.
  And you know, when you're sitting in the audience  you don't know all the work that's going on
  behind the scenes, but I know I did this the  hard way for a lot of time.
  Cathy: Like the first classes I taught it  was just like brute strength and fear and
  nervous.
  Am I doing the right thing?
  So we have between all of us, I think, thousands  of workshops that leaves experience in different
  varieties.
  From QiGong and dance as well, play parties,  cuddle parties, energy sex, pujas.
  I teach marketing as well.
  So we have this breadth of different experiences  and one thing we found is there's a commonality
  to it.
  So there's an actual toolbox that we use over  and over again to generate workshops and facilitate
  them in a way that's really easy.
  In fact, Monique and I had never taught a  workshop before, a particular workshop.
  We posted it, we knew that we could teach  on it.
  We had the topic...
  Monique: Either of us could have taught by  ourselves.
  Cathy: Yes, yes.
  But we had never taught together and we didn't  actually have a plan for it and everything
  was kind of running a little late that day.
  We sat down in 10 minutes using these very  tools and generated a really powerful workshop.
  I was so proud of that workshop.
  It was so good.
  People were like, "Oh my God, I never thought  of it that way."
  Cathy: So we're going to show you those tools  so that you can have a framework.
  We're calling it the Facilitator Toolbox Intensive.
  Where you actually leave with these toolboxes  that you can build the things you want to
  create really easily without all the fear  and worry as you go forward in your career.
  Peter: Can I ask you a question?
  What was the difference between this workshop  you facilitated the other day and one you
  did early in your career...
  Where you said, this was really hard, a big  struggle?
  Can you explain the dichotomy between the  two different types of workshops that you've
  done?
  Monique: Perfectionism!
  Cathy: There was a whole bunch of perfectionism,  but I also didn't know what people needed.
  So well, like I was guessing and part of it's  experience you learn it, but we're going to
  distill our experience so you can walk in  with that.
  I didn't know how to warm up the room back  then.
  I didn't know how to anchor the ideas.
  I didn't know when to give them a break and  how to get them back from breaks.
  I didn't know how to mix intellectual thoughts  and experiential things that you're so amazing
  at, Monique.
  Cathy: I didn't know how to blend that with  like some physical movement like you do so
  well because that really helps the body calm  down.
  I was really smart on how trauma works and  how the brain can be afraid, but I didn't
  know how to integrate that in a way so that  whether I was teaching an hour event or a
  five day event to keep people engaged, inspired  and flowing along that versus like, here's
  all the information.
  Cathy: I would get so nervous.
  I would over-prepare I'd have five times too  much information.
  And I would throw it all out as hard as I  could.
  And then they would leave drained and stun.
  Monique: They're blown out.
  Cathy: Yeah, some of them left and, I feel  so bad about it, but I'm sure some of the
  people left my earlier workshops going, oh,  I'm really bad at this.
  There's too much information.
  I don't know and I can't get it all.
  It's going too fast.
  And maybe more than some of the more advanced  people were fine, but the new people, the
  people who are shyer, a little intimidated  by the topic, were probably just overwhelmed.
  Peter: I think when you're a beginning facilitator  you tend to think that logic is the way to
  get that information out and and we're very  logic based and we're like, "OK, I'm just
  going to get all this information," where  when you become more of an experienced facilitator,
  you start listening to more of your intuition  and realize that there are certain little
  nuances to how to keep the audience compelled  and interested on every single word that's
  coming out of your mouth.
  Cathy: Get them to embody the information.
  I can give you a checklist right now, but  you have the checklist.
  It's not in your body and your not going to  use it very well.
  And that's one of the things we're going to  do for the facilitator weekend.
  We're going to invite you to two events that  we're running and let you participate a little
  bit so you get a taste of what's actually  happening.
  So you can experience it even if you're afraid  and we promise to make a gentle and easy.
  But so you can embody that and try it out.
  Get a taste of it and be like, oh, I would  like to do it a little bit this way.
  Monique: When I started, I didn't trust my  intuition at all.
  And so I started with Cuddle Parties because  it was a way I can sit and hold the script
  and you read something, but it was so scary  still.
  At least it helped me be able to get up there  in front of people and I'd practice every
  single night whether I had one person or 30  people in the room.
  And so it really started helping me acclimate  to what does it feel like, what does it feel
  like when I'm offering this?
  And so I would sit and write a whole outline  like Cathy's talking about and have 30 exercises
  and have all this information and make sure  I need to give this to you.
  And as you start facilitating more and more  then you realize the rooms giving you way
  more than you could give the room.
  Monique: So I set this intention and I'm like,  OK, here's what I'm wanting to bring to the
  table.
  And then in whatever is alive in the room,  than I allow that aliveness and that energy
  and what's coming up to be able to help teach  the intention that I brought.
  Peter: The more facilitation that you do...  you do start to realize or certain cues in
  the audience of who's listening, who's checking  out, and how to augment your delivery so that
  everybody is really more encapsulated with  the information that's coming from who you
  are.
  People want to listen to compelling stories.
  They want to listen to people that have some  vim and vigor and passion and desire for what
  they're doing.
  If you're just kind of drab sitting there  spewing out all this logical information,
  you're going to lose people in the first few  minutes.
  Cathy: If you can't engage their brain and  their heart, you're not going to teach them..
  You're throwing information like little sticks  versus like, I'm going to feed it to you and
  help you integrate it.
  Monique: You want to create this container  where people feel like it's OK to get it wrong.
  It's OK to experiment.
  It's OK to test new waters and see what's  available to you because that's the majority
  of people that are coming to the workshops  or wanting to try something new or they're
  wanting to integrate something that they've  been called to.
  So if you're throwing stuff at them, that's  not going to make them feel safe to want to
  experiment because it's just another to do  list that they can't do.
  Peter: So have a guideline, have an agenda,  but be willing to throw the agenda out the
  window if there's certain people in the room  that are not understanding what's happening.
  So we're going to help you learn how to trust  yourself to be able to hold a room with people
  and offering what it is that you have experience  on, that you love, and helping them co-create
  with you.
  Cathy: Yeah, and if some of you are like...intuition,  reading the room?
  I'm a very analytical person.
  I'm somewhere I more on the right of woo.
  I'm a PhD.
  Monique: Cathy's a pragmatist.
  Cathy: We're going to actually walk you through  the steps.
  We're going to talk about how you get prepared  before, how you build up anticipation in the
  audience.
  How you build relationships with the venue,  the people at the venue that you're going
  to work with.
  Monique: Your hosts, if you're traveling around  the world, but that networking with others.
  Cathy: You're so good at that.
  Yeah.
  And then just bringing people in and like  how do you get them in the room so that they
  feel comfortable.
  How do you start the event?
  How do you give them breaks so they actually  come back.
  We'll walk you through all the steps including  self-care afterwards and how you can follow
  up so you can engage more deeply.
  Peter: Even engineers and scientists have  intuition.
  Cathy: I absolutely agree, but I know some  people that want to facilitate may actually
  use their intuition and notice energy, but  that's not their focus.
  And that's one thing I love about how we teach  together as we have that balance.
  We all speak the language of pragmatic, and  intuition and experiential and logical.
  Peter: it's a blend.
  It's a balance.
  Monique: You get to come play in your spectrum.
  And here's the pieces.
  So many people do workshops.
  And for me, I, and Peter and Cathy, we love  doing play shops.
  Because if you're not loving it, if you're  not enjoying it, if you're not diving in to
  the places that feel good to you, then you're  not going to want to continue doing it.
  And so the whole idea of this weekend is to  help you succeed and offering what your gifts
  are and then giving you this toolbox, and  the set of plans like this whole container.
  Cathy: A recipe.
  Yeah, recipe can make a difference.
  You can make it enough for 10 people or 30  people or a thousand people.
  You can make different varieties, oh, you're  vegetarian, OK, I'll leave that part out.
  So you have like, flexibility.
  You can mix the flavors and change up what  you're delivering.
  Monique: We hope that you'll come join us.
  Cathy: Yeah, it's in May and it's going to  be in San Jose, California.
  Monique: So thanks for listening.
  And if any of this calling to your soul or  your heart or you're just like, wow, I'm really
  curious and intrigued, then please click on  the link below and find out more.
  Cathy: And if you're feeling like you're too  shy, too big, too old, too young, please realize
  that your audience has those same fears.
  The peoples whose lives you want to touch  had those same fears and you can help them
  past that just by modeling that very thing.
  I used to think I was too much, too shy, too  old, whatever.
  I used to think it was too big.
  I can still make a difference for people.
  You can make a difference for people and they  are calling for you.
  There are people at three in the morning praying  they will come forward and share your information.
  Monique: Yeah,
  Cathy: Thanks guys.
  Have to see you there!
     
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